Dancing With the Stars: Round 2

Our celebrity ranks are dwindling, and eventually the fat will be trimmed down to the handful of contestants with some demonstrable talent.  It’s still early, so there are a few stars left that are clearly in over their heads. *ahem* Kathy, bless her heart. Monday’s episode highlighted the existing parity between most of the stars, with two or three standing head and shoulders above the rest. Let’s recap the dances.

Joanna/Derek: I must admit that the Jive always impresses me, just as a dance in general.  It’s a fun, energetic dance with complicated footwork, and it’s an American invention.  Even when it’s not danced particularly well, I’m impressed by anyone who can do it. Last week’s leaders, Joanna and Derek danced the Jive with so-so results. It was a little erratic, which is what Derek tried to avoid during rehearsals.  I thought it was pretty good, though it looked a little out of control at times. Carrie Ann said the pair had good energy, but spastic feet. Bruno said he can tell that Joanna likes being driven, but that it got out of control at times.  Is it just me or does Bruno turn every critique into an opportunity for sexual innuendo?  Male or female, it doesn’t matter with this guy. Guest judge Baz Luhrmann thought they needed more connection and a relationship expressed through dance. I couldn’t disagree more. The last thing these picture-perfect Barbies need is prompting to take their working relationship into more personal territory.  Carrie Ann: 6 Baz: 7  Bruno:7

Natalie/Alec:  They danced the Quickstep. Natalie was a strong competitor last week, and I think she could be the obligatory dark horse this season.  I thought they had good posture and footwork, not a bad Quickstep. Bruno said she needs to relax and work on her breathing but she could be amazing. Baz said Natalie concentrated too much in the beginning. Carrie Ann told Natalie to think of Alec as an extension of herself instead of as a separate person.  7s across the board, a very solid score.

Chuck/Anna: They danced the Tango. This is a masculine dance, so Chuck didn’t have to get in touch with his feminine side this week, as Len suggested previously.  They danced to the White Stripes’ “Seven Nation Army,” which is a good tune.  It was a menacing performance, very theatrical and it suited Chuck well. Their dance was much better than last week.  The judges all liked it. Baz really liked it and said that Chuck was fantastic. Carrie Ann said she was frightened, and said some people dance well but don’t have “impact,” but he did and he committed to the dance. Bruno can see the hard work. He said the performance was primeval and savage. The steps weren’t perfect, but Chuck was competitive. Carrie Ann: 6 Baz: 7 Bruno: 6

Melissa/Mark: They danced a great Jive that looked crisper than Joanna’s. Carrie Ann loved it, she said she was worried about her last week but Melissa has risen to the occasion this week. Bruno said they looked like two ladybugs, which they kinda did.  They each wore a red outfit with white polka dots.  Bruno also criticized them though, saying that they had too much going on up top and needed to fix what’s going on downstairs. This was true, as I noticed grand arm movements in their Jive, which I thought was supposed to be all about the feet.  Baz echoed Bruno’s sentiments. Carrie Ann: 7 Baz: 6 Bruno: 6

Michael/Anna: They danced the Quickstep. Wide receivers have good feet, so Michael should do well. He worked hard in training, and approached the dance with an athlete’s discipline.  He doesn’t have to remind us that he’s an athlete at every turn though.  He did a lot of barking, and I wish he’d stop making those awful facial expressions. His hold looks bad but the footwork was good. Bruno said it was a proper Quickstep, and had lots of content; a big improvement from last week. Baz said he loves that Michael confronted the challenge, and he can tell that he’s thinking.  He also cautioned him to watch the facial tics.  Carrie Ann loved it and said it was much better and they stuck together as a team, which will set them apart. I didn’t think it was that great, but it was decent.  Carrie Ann:7 Baz:7 Bruno:6

Debi/Maks: They danced the Tango, which I thought was good for her.   The Tango makes use of stiffness and sharp movements and doesn’t require much musicality or fluidity of movement.  I think this favors weaker dancers, of which Debi is one.  The band does a horrible rendition of The Police’s “Roxanne.” It’s a good Tango and Debi is strong. Maks made her cry during rehearsal because he’s hard on her, so she does have a softer side. Baz thought it was great. Carrie Ann said she’s a drama queen and she worked it. Form and posture were gorgeous. Bruno loves when she channels the “feisty ball breaker.”  Bruno is a card.  He says it could have been better but it was good. Maks kissed her a lot on the cheek and side of her head while they awaited their scores, probably making amends for the way he treated her during rehearsal. He felt bad that he made her cry. Awww.  The judges scores combine for a 21.

Louie/Chelsea: They danced the Jive, and I thought Louie’s youthful exuberance would help him here.  Sure enough he starts with a flip, probably something he’d do with his snowboard on the slopes.  I think he’s good and makes good use of his athleticism. He has great feet, though his movements are not always precise.  He finishes with a split. Louie and Chelsea are the youngest couple and I think they’re cute. Carrie Ann said he lost touch with the music at times but she loves watching him because he dances with so much joy. Bruno said he could do better because he has the ability. Baz said he has so much joy, and a great story exists between the two of them.  He thought it was tremendous. Carrie Ann: 6 Baz: 7 Bruno: 6.

Aaron/Karina: These two were the leading couple last week, and had intense rehearsals in preparation for this week’s competition.  They got a little testy with each other. Karina sees potential in him. They danced the Quickstep and it was nothing short of amazing, in both choreography and execution.  Karina paid homage to Jim Henson’s Muppets, and Aaron wore Kermit green while she tapped into her inner Miss Piggy.  This little muppet dude was playing the drums, it was so cute.  Aaron was excellent and put the other Quicksteps to shame.  It was a very fun, cute, and technically sound routine.  Bruno said he was spectacular: a mini Fred Astaire and they are awaiting great things from him. Baz said their dance was clever, inventive, and a great show. Carrie Ann said it was truly a pleasure, and his hold was great. They got 9s across the board, which will make them tough to beat this week.

Kelly/Louis: They danced the Tango. She’s worried about living up to last week. Her Tango was riddled with errors and she even broke into a laugh after one blunder. The ending was poorly choreographed and anti-climactic. Baz said there was incredible self-revelation coming to her, she’s a fighter. There were mistakes but there is something fantastic going on there. Carrie Ann said she made a mistake and giggled and has to stay in character but she likes what she sees. Bruno said she could be amazing but there were too many mistakes.  They received a total of 19 points from the judges.

Kathy/Tony: They danced the Quickstep. Tony says it’s graceful and glamorous so he thinks it suits Kathy, who comes across as sugary sweet once again. She’s really a goody goody. She has nowhere to go but up, after being in the bottom two last week. Their music sounds like it belongs in a Disney movie.  It was an enchanting dance. Big improvement from last week, but not much content if you ask me. All fluff, no substance. Carrie Ann said as a full presentation it’s better but she’s too reserved and the hold could have been better. Bruno said she’s good looking but not engaging. Baz says it’s not enough excitement. She gets the evil score of 6 6 6.

Mark/Lacey: They danced the Quickstep.  He was in the top 3 last time.  It started off as a classy dance. He slipped but pulled it together. Their dance was very athletic but a little too theatrical in my opinion. Bruno said the footwork needs to be controlled but he’s good. Baz credits him for holding it together after the slip. Carrie Ann said it was explosive but under control, that he should work on his breathing, and that he had good recovery after the slip. 7s all around.

Mya/Dmitry:  They danced the Jive and quite frankly she effin’ killed it, it’s almost unfair. I wouldn’t blame anyone for not voting for her due to her extensive prior dance experience.  She is flawless.  Baz said it had speed and accuracy. Carrie Ann loved it, and said there was great energy through the legs. Bruno said they were like Josephine Baker and Clark Kent, he really went ape shit, she blew his mind.  9s all around.  Carrie Ann also said Len would not have approved.  Good thing Captain Crankypants wasn’t there.

Tom/Cheryl: They danced the Tango. Like Kathy he got a dance that helped him, based on his skill-set.  It allowed him to be stiff.  It was a charming dance until the end where he almost dropped her. LMAO. Carrie Ann said they are alluring and well-matched.  Bruno said he tried to do a proper, correct Tango. They all liked it until the end. Baz said there was great dignity and grace. Aww Tom feels bad. The judges give another evil score of 6 6 6.  The crowd is booing, but what do they expect, he almost dropped her!

Donny/Kym: They danced the Jive. I gotta hand it to him, he’s great. Lots of energy, showmanship, and great footwork. He and Mya received standing ovations for their Jives. Bruno said mission accomplished, well-executed. Baz said he was accurate, and that dance knows no age, Donny’s so full of life. Carrie Ann says there’s a reason why the Osmond name carries so much weight. *gag* It’s nice for Kym to have a partner with some potential. I think her former partners included Master P and Jerry Springer, and they were awful.  Carrie Ann: 8 Baz: 9 Bruno: 8.

Elimination

Everybody has similar scores in the 17-19 range, and this logjam in the middle makes for a tense elimination episode.  Viewers’ votes are very important this week.  The first 3 are mercifully told they’re safe immediately, leaving the rest of the bunch to sweat it out.  Who are the first 3? The leading scorers: Aaron, Mya, and Donny.

I misspoke in my last review: the relay portion was a one-time thing last week.  Justice prevails and Kathy goes home, poor, pretty thing.  Debi had to squirm up until the last minute, in the bottom two.  She was better than that, I think one of the men should’ve been in the bottom, like Tom.  So far things are moving along as they should, with no shocking upsets like when Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan went home unexpectedly in season 5. See ya next week!

Season 9, Week 2: Episodes 4&5 (originally aired September 28 and 29, 2009)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Competition Mondays at 8/7C, ABC

Elimination Tuesdays at 9/8C, ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey