Dancing With The Stars: The Wide Receiver Catches a Hail Mary

This week our celebrity contestants will be dancing from among four selections, some of which don’t seem very ballroomesque: the Country Two –Step, Bolero, Charleston, and Lambada. Some of these dances will be new for the professionals also, so this should be interesting.

Chuck & Anna: They have the 2-step. What a hokey dance. Chuck’s happy because he gets to wear jeans. He used to work at a country bar, so maybe he’ll have an advantage. The contestants are permitted to do lifts in these new dances, so the pair decides to incorporate a few.  Chuck comes out with a lasso. It’s a cute dance and I think Chuck does well, although he still looks stiff.  Carrie Ann says he never lets the dance beat him and he was suited for the Two-Step more than any of his other dances.  Len liked the lifts and enjoyed the novelty and entertainment, but eventually quality of dance will matter and right now it’s not there. Bruno said he brings carnage and mayhem to everything he does, but this still managed to look like the Two-Step. Samantha finally comes up with a good segue and says maybe Chuck lassoed up some good scores, bah- dumb-bump. Carrie Ann: 6 Len: 5 Bruno: 6.

Melissa & Mark: They have the Charleston and will be dancing it competitively for the first time on the show.  Mark has never danced it before and takes Melissa to a 1920s club to get into character.  As an actress she has no problem getting into the spirit of the roaring 20’s.  Their dance begins in black and white grainy film style, a nice touch.  They are amazing.  The dance has a lot of personality and Melissa really shines.  They look like they are having a ball and it is very entertaining and fun to watch.  I think this is her best performance yet.  Bruno said she brought the flapper back to life, he loved it. Carrie Ann said they should take the dance on the road; it was a fantastic breakthrough performance.  Len says the Charleston is all about the 3 Es, and she had all of them: energy, excitement, and entertainment.  Carrie Ann: 9 Len: 9 Bruno: 10. This is Melissa’s first 10, and she’s pretty stoked.

Natalie & Alec:  They have the Bolero. She needs to loosen up in rehearsals.  Alec decides to make the choreography more difficult.  He wants to make a push for the top spot.  She thinks the Bolero has been their hardest dance thus far.  She has great movement and body control.  They make a believable romantic duo.  I think she’s progressing quite nicely.  Carrie Ann is on the fence.  She thought it was beautiful and appreciates the difficulty, but there seemed to be a struggle with the movement.  Len thought there was a beautiful lyrical quality throughout.  Bruno was happy to see that Natalie found her “basic instinct” and that she was like Sharon Stone: both beautiful and dangerous. What the hell? LOL 8s across the board.

Aaron & Karina: They’ve got the Lambada, “The Forbidden Dance.”  They show his crybaby footage from last week, with Michael comforting a weepy Aaron. *sigh* Get over it dude.  Karina wants to include some risky moves so they stand out.  Aaron wants to incorporate some gymnastic moves to make the beginning of the routine special and different.  He practices some back flips and their routine begins with him doing a back flip over Karina.  I was impressed, but the judges would not be.  Their routine had a lot of movement and too many tricks.  There should have been more substance.  It was good, but not technically proficient.  His movements actually looked a little goofy at times.  They should have been sexier, they’re a pretty hot couple and they had good music.  Len said he liked the enthusiasm but he should have incorporated more rhythm and raunchiness and spent less time on the back flip.  Bruno said he didn’t incorporate the character and missed the lift.  Carrie Ann said that he has to basically chill out; he’s going way over the top.  He’s good looking and dances well, but he needs to stop trying so hard.  I agree, she kept it real with him.  Carrie Ann: 6 Len: 6  Bruno: 6 Wow! These are his lowest scores to date and I’m rather surprised that they graded him so harshly.

Mark & Lacey:  They’ve been told that they lack chemistry, but Lacey thinks they should focus on having fun.  They have the Country Two-Step, and Mark isn’t very “country.”  Lacey says he’s thinking too much.  His family visits to lift his spirits and it works.  He seemed to get in character for the dance.  He does an adequate job, but I’m not blown away.  I’ll admit that his athleticism is a plus, and I enjoyed Lacey’s choreography.  Bruno says that his confidence is much improved, but his footing was off.  Carrie Ann thanked him and says that he was confident and grounded and they had good chemistry.  Len enjoyed Lacey’s choreography.  The footwork was heavy, but it was well-done.  Carrie Ann: 8  Len:7  Bruno:7

Kelly & Louis: Wow, this dude has on waaaay too much makeup, he looks like a mime.  He even has on lipstick.  Kelly wants to demonstrate her newfound confidence with the Charleston.  Louis choreographs their routine based on Broadway.  She auditioned for Chicago but was unable to take the part because she couldn’t dance.  Their dance has a lot of showmanship and pizzazz.  They each start with a cane, and Kelly looked a little awkward with it, briefly.  I don’t think her rendition is as magical as Melissa’s, but let’s see what the judges think about it.  Carrie Ann says watching her dance is like watching a little bird learning to fly, it’s wonderful. Len said it was proper and very well done.  Bruno liked it a lot and thought it was very good.  Apparently Louis is embodying a certain character with whom I’m not familiar, hence the makeup. Whatever.  Carrie Ann:8  Len:7  Bruno:8

Joanna & Derek:  They’ve got the Lambada, which is fitting considering the sexual chemistry they share.  Their performance is hot, and I think they deliver the raunchy factor Len was looking for in Aaron and Karina’s routine.   Derek performs the dance without his shirt, which is kind of a cheap trick but it does get right to the point.  Joanna is a formidable contestant, and I think she, Mya and Natalie are the ones to beat.  Their Lambada has a high degree of difficulty but retains the requisite sexiness.  Len says he knows what he wants for tomorrow’s encore and that Derek’s choreography never disappoints.  Bruno warns the viewers not to try this at home.  He seems to have lived vicariously through the pair and says that he basically doesn’t need to get laid for the next 6 months. Leave it to Bruno.  Carrie Ann hopes the kiddies were already in bed and thinks it was hot.  She says the dance is all about the crotch and they delivered.  Crotch is just a gross word. Crotch. Say it with me. Eeeeww.  Carrie Ann: 9 Len: 8 Bruno: 9.

Donny & Kym:  They have the Charleston and Donny’s showmanship should come in handy.  He’s a perfectionist so I think he’ll be good.  Some footwork aspects of the Charleston remind me of the Jive.  Donny’s footwork is great and he really captures the character of the dance.  He’s very light on his feet.  Bruno enjoyed the theatrical touches and ragtime elements, but his timing needs to be a bit sharper.  Carrie Ann likes the way they move so well as a team, but she also can tell when he messes up.  Overall, the three judges really enjoyed it.  Carrie Ann: 8  Len:8  Bruno:8

Michael & Anna: They have the Bolero.  Michael was in the bottom 2 last week and needs to redeem himself.  I can tell you right off the bat that doesn’t happen.  His Bolero is awful.  It’s a shame because he really works extremely hard in rehearsal and wants to do well.  Perhaps Anna failed him with the choreography.  All I know is that there was very little dancing going on.  All he did was strike a variety of poses while Anna danced around him.  His feet barely moved, there was no content and it was horrible.  I think he will be going home this week for sure.  Carrie Ann saw the romance and thinks he’s committed and determined, but there was not enough dancing.  Len thinks the Bolero is very difficult and gives him credit.  Bruno says that Michael’s dancing is like the economy: every week it’s supposed to get better but nothing happens. Ouch.  Carrie Ann: 5 Len: 6 Bruno: 6

Louie & Chelsea:  They have the Country Two-Step.  Louie works with Chelsea’s old partner Ty Murray, a rodeo champion and true country boy who tries to make Louie into a real cowboy.  Louie’s athletic and physically strong, but still not a graceful or skilled dancer.  Len says it was just a series of walks, there was not enough content.  Bruno thinks it was dazed and confused and there was not enough there. He got by on his smile.  Carrie Ann says Chelsea tried to save it, but it wasn’t enough.  Carrie Ann: 5 Len: 5 Bruno: 6.

Mya & Dmitry:  They have the Lambada.  I expect nothing but the best from Mya.  She’s a little too oily and greasy, but the routine is sexy and great.  Len told them to keep it simple, so they try to dumb it down this week.  She actually took charge of the choreography, which is almost unheard of, but that’s because she has so much experience.  Bruno goes crazy once again, he loves it.  Carrie Ann thinks it was hot and amazing, but sophisticated and classy. Len says he never thinks she goes wrong, but he expects so much from her and she has set her own standard.  Carrie Ann: 10 Len: 8 Bruno: 10

Results

Based on this week’s performance and his body of work thus far, I could have sworn Michael was as good as gone.  Would you believe he’s not even in the bottom 2? I was shocked, but even more shocked at who was in the bottom: Aaron!  My how the tables have turned.  Michael lives to dance another day, and if Aaron was crying last week he should be in hysterics after this elimination show.  The women find out eventually that none of them are in danger, and I guess that’s fair because I don’t think any of them are among the worst.  Chuck and Aaron end up in the bottom two and Chuck says sayonara.  This is no travesty, but Michael was the worst and Aaron got a frightening wake-up call.  Next week should be interesting.

Season 9, Week 4: Episodes 8&9 (originally aired October 12 and 13, 2009)

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Competition Mondays at 8/7C, ABC

Elimination Tuesdays at 9/8C, ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey