Entourage: Ari Should Be Armed More Often

Why did it take so long for someone to put a weapon in Ari Gold’s hands and let him play agency Rambo? When the elevator doors parted and Ari walked into Terence’s agency wielding a paint ball gun and a grudge this week, I nearly jumped off of my couch in excitement. Now THAT’S how you do a season finale, kids, well done. Oh, and bringing in LeBron James, Bono and Matt Damon to throw a profanity-laced hissy fit isn’t a bad idea either. Across the board all of the boys of Entourage did some growing this week – in the emotional sense, not the literal sense – and believe me some of them could use a few extra inches. The biggest update goes to our wee little Eric, who took a major leap of faith and luckily came out on top.

Looks like it’ll be wedding bells for E and Sloan – yes, Sloan and not that vile little Ashley chick, thank God – and they seemed as surprised as everyone else to hear it. I have to hand it to E, after realizing that he loved Sloan and wouldn’t settle for anything other than her being in his life, he makes a grand gesture to take her to a romantic lunch and profess his feelings. Too bad she angrily denies him and demands to go home – that is, until E proved he could commit by whipping out a ring and asking her to marry him (and have his vertically challenged babies. Kidding). Damn, I didn’t see that one coming but I admire a man who knows what he wants and puts it all on the line. Women everywhere are applauding your boldness, E, too bad that kind of unprovoked romance isn’t more contagious amongst your gender.

And speaking of men who make romantic gestures, Turtle decides to do what he should’ve done before and hop a plane to New Zealand to win back Jamie-Lynn. This would’ve been a nearly perfect moment except for two things: he had already tangled with the slutty coed (but luckily didn’t seal the deal) and the fact that Jamie-Lynn didn’t actually want him there. She gave him some song and dance about not wanting them to resent each other, but really I just felt badly that Turtle had gone out of his way for the woman he loved and in the end they didn’t wind up together. I also felt badly that Turtle was stuck on a 14-hour-flight between two women who easily weighed a half ton between them, yikes. Serves him right for caving in to the easy girl though, quality should always prevail. After an impassioned plea to get off of the plane to some ridiculously pretty flight attendants (is it mandatory that all New Zealand flight attendants are hot? Just wondering) he was forced to make the trip only to continue on to Rome to meet Vince and Drama in the end.

And what were the brothers Chase up to, you ask? Vince was preparing to leave for Italy to go shoot the new Frank Darabont movie, and simultaneously getting harassed by Matt Damon to donate to his charity. As if an Oscar winner wasn’t enough, they also wrangled Bono (the grand champion of humanitarian causes) and LeBron James (not a philanthropist, just really really tall and imposing) to convince Vince to write the check. Damon’s tantrum was pretty entertaining, and it convinced Vince to dig deeper into his pockets, though the whole thing seemed a little too blatant and unsubtle on the commercial front. Drama turned down numerous requests to audition again for Melrose Place, citing a change of heart in his career path despite Lloyd’s urging otherwise. Luckily, he caved in and read a scene for them. Unluckily, he didn’t get the part after all. Don’t feel too badly for Johnny Drama though, the network Gods were smiling upon him and they decided to develop a show just for him to be the star. Anyone else curious to see what the next show on Drama’s resume will be? As long as it doesn’t involve a Viking helmet, it’s a step in the right direction. This brings us to the best story line of the season finale, the Ari Gold takeover.

Hell hath no fury like an Ari scorned. Facing the unsavory possibility that the sale of Terence’s agency might not go through due to lack of funds, Ari has to convince his wife that her money will not be squandered and front the money for the deal. She, in turn, puts her faith in Ari that he will deliver as he always has, even if he wants the sale out of spite and vendetta as much as practicality. Terence’s insistence that his agency still retain his name sends Ari into a fit and nearly collapses the deal, but a (seemingly) heartfelt apology soon gets the contract back on track. I don’t generally enjoy “mushy Ari”, who gets all sentimental and serious, but at least Terence’s apology sets Ari back on the forgiveness track and sets the stage for his reconciliation with Lloyd. Ari gives Lloyd a 24 hour stay of execution, which turns into a job offer to be an actual agent after Lloyd storms Ari’s office and tells him where to shove his agency. Yay Lloyd, way to play hard ball! Then Ari unveils Lloyd’s very own office, complete with a welcome banner celebrating Lloyd for finally becoming a real agent Asian. Hey, you didn’t expect it to all be marshmallows and rainbows, did you?

I, for one, am impressed with the way they ended this season. If the glass is half empty, though, we could dwell on the fact that they literally wasted half the season with lame episodes before picking up steam. On the up side, Ari got to shoot people, Lloyd is back at Miller Gold, E is getting hitched and Drama can finally collect a respectable paycheck. Next season is poised for some fun possibilities: Will Turtle and Jamie-Lynn ever rekindle things (or will his next love affair be with his bong)? Can E handle wedding planning? Is Lloyd going to run out of sweater vests? Just about the only thing for certain is that Vince will definitely be burning his way through all of the females on the Italian Riviera in the meantime, with his entourage in tow.

For another take on this episode, read Tanya Lane’s review here.

Season 6, Episode 12: Give a Little Bit (originally aired October 4, 2009)

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO and IMDbPro