Glee: Sue and Schu Go to the Mattresses

This week’s Glee episode was like a mash-up gone wrong. By closing curtain, I felt like I’d been force fed ten different storylines and digested each in spoonfuls of melodrama and montage. It’d be near impossible to recap chronologically, so I’m going to take a deep breath, and try to brief you on the damage.

Co-directors, Co-conspirators

The episode begins with an intense verbal duel between new Glee Co-directors, Will Schuester and the acknowledged oddball Cheerleading coach, Sue Sylvester. While Will is ashamed of his aggressive behavior, Sue exclaims, “I am elegant, regal. I am Ajax—mighty Greek warrior!”

The episode flashes back to the trouble’s origin—a practice where a few Gleeks express their desire to expand their repertoire (“less show tunes,” or songs that are “more black”). Quinn—the preggers Cheerio Captain—tells Sue that the minority students are feeling oppressed. Playing off this knowledge, Sue decides to split up the group into two teams to instill competition. Will hesitates but agrees after she whips out the Glee rulebook. Expecting Sue to compile a jock squad of singers, he is surprised when she chooses, “Santana, Wheels, gay kid,” the Asians, “Aretha,” and “Shaft.”

“Bigotry is no laughing matter,” she adds with a smirk.

In a later scene, Sue’s collection of misfits perform a stimulating rendition of “Hate on me,” showing off their street skillz. They seem to really let loose (though Kurt in a white, fuzzy sweater doing high kicks is really nothing new). It’s these moments that keep me obsessively watching whatever Glee YouTube videos I can find.

Will observes the performance from the window, and begins to worry that he’s losing control. He then does what any right-minded director would do: he goes to the mattresses. News breaks that he is flunking all of the Cheerios (who are near illiterate) in Spanish. As they are now ineligible to cheer, Sue notifies her mole, Quinn, to induce more divisions within the club.

Countdown to Terri’s Departure

Terri is still incredibly and obviously not impregnated. She is however regularly wearing a very silly looking piece of stomach padding. Will tells Terri he wants to play a bigger role in the pregnancy, and she flips, thinking he will discover the truth.

After Will makes an OB/GYN appointment for her, she calls on her nutty sister, who is able to blackmail Dr. Wu into faking Terri’s sonogram. A single tear streams down Will’s face when he finds out that Terri is having—get this—an imaginary girl!! Terri clutches her crying hubby, fearing he will eventually leave her. (No seriously, why hasn’t she been voted off the show yet?). Will is still miraculously unaware of Terri’s plans to snatch away Quinn’s baby.

The Love Triangle

Meanwhile, Quinn is also having a baby girl. Finn proposes that they name her Drizzle, after the worst Snoop Dogg joke of all time.

Jacob, a nerdy high schooler with a fro, finds out about Quinn and Finn’s “problem,” and threatens to post the details on his blog. Only one condition can prevent this action: Rachel handing over her underwear, which she does, like some carbon copy of Molly Ringwald in 16 Candles.  The gesture shows us two things: that she really cares about Finn, and that she wears ugly underwear.

Quinn is fed up with the obvious flirtation between “No Air” duettists, Finn and Rachel. She confronts Rachel, telling her to step off. Quinn then belts out a strange montage of The Supremes’ “You Keep Me Hangin’ On,” with the Cheerios as back-up singers. The lyrics speak true to her state of mind, but the scene felt bizarre as ever. The judge is still out on spontaneous High School Musical-esque medleys such as this one.

Quinn channels her frustrations to picking and prodding every last Glee member from Will’s musical consortium, leaving only a love triangle of performers left to carry the weight (Quinn, Finn and Rachel).

Holding On

The singers gather to watch the trio’s version of “No Air,” yet Sue and Will blow up at one another (bringing us back to the epi’s initial scene). Ultimately, the kids storm out of the auditorium, furious at their childish directors. Will confronts Sue and she steps down from Glee.

In a speech of empowerment, Mr. Schuester explains that as member of Glee, they’re all minorities. The Gleeks stands behind Quinn, who is near-tears since Jacob spilled the beans to Sue about her being knocked up. In the show’s final scene, the club unites for a powerful rendition of Avril’s “Keep holding on.” There’s nothing like angst-ridden pop music to bring together a group of teens with essentially nothing in common.

Final Thoughts

Where were newly engaged Emma and Ken??? Surely, they can’t have jetted off to their honeymoon already. Since they were visibly absent, we’ll definitely see some new developments on that front next week.

Though this episode wasn’t my favorite, I understand that the writers and actors are still finding their niches (re: episodes that don’t mirror the sort of sucky mash-ups Mr. Schuester would despise). And while Will might not have approved of this week’s incoherent beat, I believe that if we stick with him—just as he has with these misfit kids—we won’t be disappointed.

For another take on this episode, check out The Sue Strikes Back by J.B. Perlow.

Season 1, Episode 7: Throwdown (originally aired October 14, 2009)

For more on Glee, click here.

Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro