Gossip Girl: All About Eve, Not All About Steve

An excellent episode of Gossip Girl tonight, even if Dorota is absent.  And what makes this episode so good, why a simple plot of deception, double-crossing, and scheming by the entire cast.  Frankly, this is the only reason why I watch the show. Oh and Chuck goes bisexual for Blair.  Let the games begin!

We begin with an old video that’s actually a fantasy dream of Blair’s creation, in which Vanessa is being honored as a distinguished alumna of NYU.  She jumps out of her All About Eve dream and is terrified that she’s Bette Davis instead of her usual role as understudy for Anne Baxter.  She won’t tell Chuck about Vanessa, but he has confidence that she’ll soon rule the school of NYU.

Serena chats with Nate at campaign headquarters for his cousin Tripp’s run for office.  They’re talking about Carter’s debt to the Buckleys and something about flying him to an off-coast oil rig to work.  Anyway, Nate has an idea–he wants to play a poker game with the Buckleys to free Carter.  He recently learned all of their “tells” and thinks he can win.  Of course he’ll need Serena’s help.

At the loft, they’re talking about Rufus’s Welcome Back, Kotter mugs and Jenny’s reading a school newspaper article hyping Vanessa’s rising star at NYU. She’s up for an award–being asked to give a toast–at the parents’ freshmen weekend dinner and is wondering whether to invite her yet-unseen parents.  Rufus thinks Dan should invite Olivia since she’s back from Japan; Dan isn’t so sure it’s time for her to meet his family, but he asks her to go and she agrees to meet his parents.  And Blair is pissed to learn that Vanessa is outshining her and wants to write the perfect toast in case she’s selected.  Of course, Olivia has her own plan and calls the alumni coordinator to accept the offer to give the freshmen toast–and she’s keeping it a surprise from Dan.  Blair finds out about the selected toastmaster and is going to plot something, beginning when she tells Vanessa that Olivia is giving the toast, not her.  Let the fireworks begin!

First up, Vanessa tries to manipulate Dan into getting Olivia to not attend the toast (so Vanessa will be able to give the toast).  She lies to Dan about Olivia being too nervous about meeting Dan’s parents and suggests Dan spend a quiet night with Vanessa.  Dan buys it.  Back at the dorm, Vanessa learns that Olivia is backing out and she’s giving the toast.  That’s one out of the way for Blair, who’s moving on to phase two of her plan.

But first, a nice game of Texas Hold’em.  Nate and Serena walk into the Buckleys’ game and announce Serena is going to play.  She loses the first game and ups the ante by offering to play for Carter, even though his debt is a lot more than she’s showing (whatever that means).  Nate offers an incriminating photo of Tripp that will allegedly cost Tripp the election (he’s rocking the ganja, so that’s only a problem if he’s not a Democrat).  The game begins and quickly ends with a loss for Serena, meaning “Carter’s going down to Texas and Tripp’s career is going up in smoke.”  But not really, the photo’s a fake but Nate’s keeping this news from Serena.

After the break, we meet Vanessa’s mother played by Gina Torres!  They’re making a social call to meet Lily, who tries to compliment the mother on Vanessa’s success at NYU and gets some hippie nonsense about the evils of paying for education.  Whatever, it’s Gina Torres, she’s awesome . . . at least until she talks about Olivia being a shallow actress and something about how sugar is awful for people.  Vanessa gets a break from apologizing for her mother when Olivia calls to ask why Dan changed his mind about Olivia meeting his parents.  Vanessa digs a bigger hole for herself (and sort of for Dan) as she gets caught in her web of lies.  It doesn’t work because Olivia tells Dan that she’d like to go to the parents’ dinner.

At a bar, Blair and Chuck are reprising their summer plan.  The alumni guy is there and I think Chuck’s going to make a move on him.  Oh I’m right because the guy is stroking Chuck’s hair and then they’re kissing while Blair watches.  She interrupts and reminds him of their deal: if she gets him to kiss Chuck, he’ll let her have the toast.  (Apparently, a kiss from Chuck Bass is on some Tribeca scavenger hunt.)  Chuck suspects something’s up because Blair didn’t stop him before the kiss; she plays it off as nothing.  Anyway, it looks like Blair wins this round, and Chuck’s suspenders are definitely bi-curious.

And now for our weekly party!  Blair tells Vanessa that Vanessa is not giving the speech; Vanessa asks for mercy because her mother is there, but Blair doesn’t care.  Dan and Olivia walk in and meet Rufus and Lily, but Olivia, thinking Dan’s parents don’t like actresses (per Vanessa), is rude and obnoxious to them.  Dan pulls Olivia aside and it comes out that Vanessa played them off of each other.

Meanwhile, Chuck learns how Blair used him, which sends one of Blair’s minions off to warn Blair.  But Blair’s busy telling off Vanessa . . . and everyone at NYU.  You see Vanessa had a live microphone in her hand, broadcasting Blair’s elitist bile to all of the guests.  Oh no, goes Blair.  And “oh no” goes Vanessa, when she sees Dan there with Olivia.  Vanessa tries to apologize to Olivia and Dan for her double-crossing and says she wishes Rufus and Lily were her parents.  Of course Vanessa’s mother walks in and hears this last part, which leads to an intense moment of her mother warning Vanessa about what “this place” is doing to her.

Dan explains everything to Rufus and Lily, with an apologetic Olivia.  They get interrupted when Olivia is asked to give the freshmen toast, as Blair and Vanessa look on and know their machinations led to nothing good.  We don’t get to hear the speech and cut to the van der Woodsen apartment where everyone is enjoying ice cream and the Welcome Back, Kotter mugs.

In other icy situations, Chuck’s heartbroken over Blair’s deception and refuses to see her; and Vanessa’s mother leaves without saying goodbye to Vanessa.  Since Vanessa and Blair are alone, they decide to be alone together.

And what of the high rolling Nate and Serena?  Nate admits to using Serena to discredit the Buckleys’ campaign against Tripp.  Serena alerts the Buckleys and they agree to erase Carter’s debt.  She tells Carter but he refuses and leaves for the oil rig.

Next week: A very Gossip Girl Halloween.

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Season 3, Episode 6: Enough about Eve (originally aired October 19, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of The CW, Giovanni Rufino