Project Runway: Blasting My Knowledge. And My Sequins

This may be my favorite Project Runway this season, because it has everything! Suspense, good guys, bad guys, sequins, celebrities, and intrigue. Everything, in fact, except for Michael Kors. But Nina is back. And if I didn’t know better, I’d swear that Nina and Kors were the same person since they don’t do any shows together anymore. Are our two favorite fashionista critics not getting along? See, now I’m starting rumors. This episode does have everything!

And so: After Heidi warns the designers that no more immunity will be awarded, they head over to meet Tim at FIDM’s Museum, where he introduces Bob Mackie. If this were ANTM, all the designers would be screaming their heads off right now. You know they want to. Behind Tim and Mackie are mannequins donned in Mackie’s many outrageous and sparkly designs, thus explaining without words why Mackie is called the Sultan of Sequins. There are some crazy fun looks there, I have to say.

The challenge: To create an extravagant stage look in the style of Bob Mackie. Further, the celebrity they will design for: Christina Aguilera. What??? That’s fantastic. I know, where the hell has Christina Aguilera been. Who cares? She’s here!

Nicolas gives us some interviews about how he idolizes Mackie and how similar their work process is. He’s going to blast the industry with his knowledge this week, so watch out, it could get messy.

CH mentions that she’s out of her comfort zone this week, and that she never does things this over the top. Can I just point out now that Epperson would have made a stunning dress. I’m sorry we’ll never see what could have been. But back to CH, and immediately I worry for her. She has all kinds of interviews, highlighting her crush on Logan, her desire to win, and the kooky, crazy things she says while she works. Yes, this sudden focus could also mean she wins, but the last person who had a montage about the noises she made while she worked was Louise, and that was in the very same episode that saw her sent home. And here is the suspense, as the editors toy with my emotions. CH is my favorite, and I am already sad for the day she goes home.

But later in the episode, hope for CH springs anew as Irina makes nasty comments about CH and her level of skill. And as has been proven before, when Irina can’t understand the simple aesthetics of her fellow designers, those people tend to win or make the top four. So here’s to hoping Irina’s scorn still has some magic power. Nicolas points out that while Irina is extremely talented, she’s an incredible bitch. It’s a good thing she ain’t here to make friends (“I’m here to win!”), because she’s not leaving here with any.

Meanwhile, Christopher works on an ‘80s punk-prom look with a beaded corset and short skirt underneath a coat. He’s worried about how strong he started versus how poorly he’s done lately. Logan doesn’t follow Christina Aguilera, which explains why he chose fur and a leopard print. Oh, Logan. Gordana suffers a meltdown and just … blanks. Her immunity comes in handy this week, which just goes to show, she should not still be here. She ultimately scraps her look and starts over. Shirin designs a long gown … that really defies description. But it’s bad. There are a surprising number of gowns,  considering this is for Christina Aguilera. For her, the more flesh the better.

Tim Time. Tim tells Christopher that his look is dated and not slutty enough, basically. Christopher worries because he’s never dressed a celebrity before. Gordana’s dress is matronly, and Nicolas’s look is too similar to his Ice Queen dress. CH’s black dress has potential wow factor, which warms my heart. Shirin’s dress looks like “Guinevere meets Vampira.” Not Tim, too. Vampires are everywhere! He says her dress looks like student work. Irina interviews that she doesn’t understand why Shirin is still here, since far better designers have gone home. (Epperson!)

Runway. Guest Judge: Bob Mackie. Nina returns, and then here comes Christina Aguilera!

Barbie: Gorgeous, but not really Christina? Logan: Cute, but definitely not Christina. Shirin: Not terrible, but very amateur. Christopher: Great outerwear, very Ladies of WWE. Nicolas: Very Christina. Gordana: More red carpet-ish, what’s with the boobs? Irina: Cute, but not Christina. CH: Gorgeous, glamorous, but stage-worthy?

Safe this week: Irina. Also – Gordana because of her immunity. Heidi points out if she hadn’t been safe, her “disaster” would be up for elimination.

CH admits she wasn’t comfortable with the materials and focused on one high glamour piece. Christina thinks she did an amazing job and could see herself in the dress. Mackie loves the black on black textures. Shirin concedes she’s not happy with her dress because she took on too much. Heidi calls it an “upscale witch Halloween dress.” Nina liked the top half, but the bottom was too Carmen Miranda. Mackie likes Barbie’s construction, and I have to agree that Barbie’s creativity added to a great look. Nina points out that the long train might be cumbersome. The judges beat up Christopher again, this time for styling his outfit so similar to Christina’s previous looks, and Mackie says he wouldn’t put it on a chorus girl. Heidi loves Nicolas’s look, and Christina calls it fun. She likes that she can move and shimmy in it. Logan’s fur and leopard is a little “cavewoman,” and he doesn’t push the envelope enough.

Over deliberation, the judges rehash the same comments, so bring them back out! The winner: Carol-Hannah! I scream like I’m on ANTM. Okay, almost screamed. Finally! Even though I’m not sure it should have won. And with the editors having some fun with my emotions this week, it was nice to have some suspense and still see my favorite win. Also safe: Barbie, Nicolas, and Logan. Between Christopher and Shirin, Christopher’s rehashed Lady Marmalade is slightly better than Shirin’s boring look. Good-bye little one! We’ll miss your craziness (not really). We catch a nice, impatient look from Irina as Shirin tearfully says good-bye. It will be awesome if Irina doesn’t win the whole thing. The crushing blow to her ego will be fun to watch.

As for Shirin, I’d have rather her stayed over Gordana, but that’s the trouble/nice thing about immunity. I don’t hate the judges this week, and that’s all that matters.

Next week: Kors and Nina share the screen again!

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 6, Episode 9: Sequins, Feathers and Fur, Oh My! (originally aired October 15, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of Lifetime