Real Housewives of Atlanta: The Return of Big Papa

No wonder these chicks don’t like each other, all they do is backstab one another. Kandi has the right idea, just try to stay out of all the drama – only problem is, the drama is what makes it fun to watch! Here’s what our Georgia peaches were up to this week, God help us all…

NeNe and Lisa discuss what a manipulative friend Kim is, and NeNe drops the best line of the episode, that Kim is nothing but a lowdown “monkey with a wig on.” She may be a bully, but NeNe’s funny, you gotta give her that. Then Lisa goes home to her boring life and her formerly-relevant husband Ed and helps him practice for his new career in broadcasting. I’m not sure if Ed really has a chance at being a sportscaster, but I hope so because I’m starting to feel really badly for him these days. On a positive note, at least Lisa was the only housewife who was considerate enough to actually attend Kandi’s comeback performance, Lisa and Kandi being the only two people with any sense of social decency on the show. More on Kandi’s show later, first we have some Kim business to discuss.

Kim, Kim, Kim…what’s it like on the planet where you live? (And yes, that’s a borrowed line). Kim has arguably the best week ever, starting with a “proposal” by Big Papa (who has magically returned to her life) and ending with her joint birthday bash with Kandi. First of all, Shereé said it best when she asked “can you really call it an engagement if he’s still married?” The answer to that I think is “no, no you cannot.” That shizz is only acceptable in the state of Utah, and even there it’s not actually legal. The second thing to address is the ridiculous size of the ring that Big Papa gave her, I’m pretty sure you can ice skate on that thing, day-ummm.  So Kim skipped about her birthday party looking like a cracked out Jessica Rabbit flashing her bling in everyone’s faces, but it must’ve sucked not to have your new “fiancé” at your party, because he can’t show his face. Because he’s married. To someone else. Ouch. Also at the party they debuted the new and improved version of “Tardy for the Party”, featuring Kim’s mangled vocals and a whole hell of a lot of Auto-Tune and distortion. I don’t know what I was more horrified by, Kim’s utter lack of actual singing skills, or the fact that she was totally oblivious to it and still took all the credit for the song like it was her very own. Either way, Kandi and her team deserve a medal for dealing with her, I swear.

Shereé decides that rather than risking embarrassment twice for her pathetic attempt at a clothing line, she should enlist the help of Dwight the fashion guru. The only thing is, much as I love Dwight, I’m beginning to think he’s not as fashionable as he believes. Black skirting on the runway? Is this a child beauty pageant or a corporate banquet? Neither? Then probably not a very chic idea. He may be trying to help, but he’s also trying to seem more important than he is – not that Shereé can’t use the help. Then Shereé flies off to New York to berate, I mean meet, the seamstress for her clothing line. She finds a lot of the clothing unsatisfactory, and when she leaves a perfectly lovely little Asian woman is left cowering in the corner in fear. Nice work, Shereé.

Lastly we have Kandi, who finally took time out from trying to help the other housewives’ hot messes and work on her own damn career. She rehearsed a lot for her much anticipated comeback show, and she did pretty damn well if you ask me. Clearly she was nervous, but she pretty much killed it, too bad Kim completely blew her off and skipped the show. That was low, even for Kim. It appears as though Kandi might be poised for her career to take off, and good for her if it does. On an entirely sad note, however, it is being reported that her fiancé AJ (who apparently became her EX-fiancé as of August) was killed this week in Atlanta. Ashley “AJ” Jewell allegedly got into an altercation outside an Atlanta strip club and received massive head injuries, which ultimately proved fatal. Poor Kandi, and our condolences to AJ’s family – sometimes reality television actually proves to be more “real” than we expected.

On a lighter note, next week’s scenes show Dwight running in a high heel marathon with the rest of the ladies, and I don’t even care what happens in the rest of the plot, I just cannot wait to watch his attempt to be sporty while still being fabulous.

Season 2, Episode 10: Better Tardy than Never (originally aired October 1, 2009).

For more on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Wilford Harewood