The Amazing Race: Cold Karma

This week’s episode of The Amazing Race takes us to extremes.  Extreme heat, extreme cold, and extreme height.  But sadly,  no one passes out, no one gets frostbite, and we don’t see a petrified Mika bungee jump off of the world’s tallest building.

The Burj Dubai is twice the height of the Empire State building, and when word gets out that it’s the target for the second clue (the first clue essentially being, go to the Burg Dubai) Mika starts imagining the worst, and, frankly, so did I. You see both of us are afraid of heights. (This is a reason I watch the race rather than go on the race.)  Upon first hearing that the clue involves height,  Canaan tells Mika that she’s just going to have to change her attitude.  Mika tells Cameron he needs to quit telling her what to do.  Hey, remember back when we thought that Mika and Canaan were going to be nice cause they were, you know, Christians?

Anyway, turns out the clue required no bungee jumping, wall-scaling, or rappelling.  Instead the teams got to ride an elevator to the 124th floor.  What a let down.  I mean, really — we’ve gone from a 70 story jump off of Verzasca dam to riding an elevator?  Lame.

If anyone should be upset, it’s Lance.  Not doing a jump off of the Burj Dubai means that Lance will have considerably less bragging rights when he gets back to his trial lawyer life.  Poor guy; he and Keri were in last place this leg, and were eliminated.  Now, I know that he was an annoying braggart, and I know that you had to have a special affection for Fran Drescher to enjoy listening to Keri muse that nothing could tear them “apahhhht,” but the two of them kinda grew on me this episode.  Maybe it was the knowledge that they were certainly coming in last, but it was clear that the race was definitely harder than either had anticipated, and Lance’s humbling was kinda enjoyable to watch.  Or maybe after being privy to about 13 seasons of the race, I’ve just become impervious to couple bickering. But if that’s true, why am I enjoying my dislike of Mika and Canaan so much?

Too much thought.  Let’s move on.

So, Dubai is hot.  The Racers all tell me so, but I really know it because when the camera first walks out of the airport, the lens gets all steamy.  The Racers land at night, so you don’t get the full visual of Dubai’s opulence, but several comment, including Gary and Matt who remark that they don’t think there’s much of a recession there.  Mika and Canaan direct their cab driver to the fountain, which is apparently where the Burj Dubai is.  The driver doesn’t quite understand, and Canaan makes whooshing noises to translate.  Personally, I think the cab driver was just holding out for Canaan to dance.

Following the incredibly difficult task of pushing the “Down” button, the teams are sent to the Dubai Desert Conservation Reserve where they receive this week’s Roadblock.  Once again, the producers completely tease me with what looks like an awesome challenge by showing us camels in the desert.  Immediately I pictured our teams desperately trying to figure out how to make a camel. . .do anything, but then Phil revealed that the Roadblock only requires them to search the desert in 120 degree heat for water that has been buried in urns in the sand.  And some of the urns are empty.  And the landscape is completely flat, so it’s easy to lose your bearings.  Oh, and did I mention that it’s 120 degrees?

Heh.  Okay, so this is a good one.  But producers, next time I want the camel involved.

Brian’s the first to find the water.  On his way back to Ericka, he lets others know where the water is found.  He also gives Canaan and Mika directions to the Conservation Reserve. Brian later explains that he thinks the race is all about karma. I think that’s a bunch of hooey.  Then again,  after giving Brian and Ericka crap last week about being the only people who cared about interracial marriage anymore, this happened, so what do I know?

Megan and Cheyne don’t have to go to the desert, because they get this season’s only Fast Forward. It requires them to go to the Dubai Autodrome, and then one member must race around the track in 45 seconds or less.  Cheyne takes it because he’s a boy, and they like to drive real fast!   No, neither he nor Megan say that, but they might as well have.  Megan looks at Cheyne anxiously while he drives, and interviews that she’s uncomfortable not being in control.  Um, if you’re having a problem with not being in control for 45 seconds, I’m really puzzled as to how you’ve made it this far.  Anyway, they finish the leg in first place.

Personally, I would have loved to see Maria take the Fast Forward.  This week, the “Asian female driver” (her words, not mine — seriously, don’t email me) accidentally backs over a metal marker on a parking lot which punctures her radiator, and the thing starts gushing fluid.  Sam and Dan wait with them for reasons I don’t understand.  Tiffany actually tells them to go, but they stay.  Seriously guys, what the hell. . .?

From the desert, the teams go to Ski Dubai (do you think everything in Dubai has the word “Dubai” in the title?  Like “Library Dubai” and “Office Supplies Dubai” and “Goldfish Store Dubai”?)  where they must Build A Snowman or Find A Snowman.  To Build A Snowman, they have to move snow from the 28 degree temperature inside to the 130 degree temperature outside, and get it done before it melts.  In Find A Snowman, they must dig through the snow to find a small, cotton snowman and then give it to the world’s scariest polar bear.  Okay, it’s a guy in a smiley polar bear costume, and seriously, it was pretty scary.   I mean, they might as well have involved a clown.

Gary and Matt choose Find A Snowman, and as they’re digging, Gary asks Matt if he knows what the snowman looks like.  Matt says I have no idea.  Gary says hopefully it isn’t white.  That’s not what Ericka said.  (Rimshot!)  The Globetrotters also dig through the snow, as do Tiffany and Maria and Brian and Ericka, while their polar bear overlord silently watches them.  Producers, please make him stop.   Brian and Ericka find the snowman first, and head out; later Tiffany and Maria,  Gary and Matt, and Sam and Dan give it up and go build a snowman.  The Globetrotters then find the snowman, and on the way out, tell Canaan and Mika that they should bring their cold gear inside.  Seriously, these Racers are just too freakin’ nice this season.  Mika and Canaan pick Build A Snowman right away because Mika has never been on a sled before (how difficult does she think sledding is?  Seriously, you sit.  Look out for trees.   The end.)   Outside in the Dubai heat, Sam and Dan have some issues with nose placement on their snowman.  One of the brothers says “Just put it in!”  That’s what he said.  (I’m on a roll!)

Overall, pretty good episode, although I think they could have made better use of the tall building and the camels.   Better challenges next time, okay?

For another take on this episode, check out Losers Bite The Bullet on The Amazing Race by Cameron Cubbison.

Season 15, Episode 4: I’m Like Ricky Bobby (originally aired October 18, 2009)

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS