The Office: Going Mental Over the Mafia

This week’s episode of The Office provided a taste of the workplace sans newlyweds, Jim and Pam. And let me tell you, it sure was bleak.

Though this season has been pretty pathetic, last week’s wedding episode had its highlights: Andy hurting his privates during a dance off, Michael’s horribly awkward and unwelcome toast, and the reenactment of the infamous “Forever” wedding entrance, complete with flashes to Jim and Pam’s real wedding (a romantic boat ride into Niagara Falls). It was one of the sitcom’s more precious moments and helped restore my faith in season six, which so far has focused around the contrived promotion of Jim to Co-manager.

With Jim and Pam on their honeymoon in Puerto Rico, things in the office were predictably in shambles. The episode begins with Michael giving a talk on business fundamentals, underlining the “mental” component of the word.

“Because you’re mental if you don’t have a good time,” Michael explains. Because the first three letters, F-U-N, aren’t relevant enough to imply a “good time,” as Toby points out.

Michael asserts that selling begins with small talk, and solicits ideas for these conversations.

“Golf, the stock market, Dave Matthews,” yells out Andy.

“Small things—peas, ball bearings, dimes,” adds Creed.

Ryan suggests Michael write a book on his so-called business model, and the introduction ends with Michael recording his first chapter: “The Fundamentals of Business. Over 1 million sold. More than the Bible.”

The next scene features a random middle-aged man waiting for Michael to talk with him. Michael scolds the receptionist, Erin, saying she is supposed to be his gatekeeper (he’s too busy with “creative space” and “free play” time scheduled in all day).

Finally Michael gives in, saying, “You’re seeing how the sausage gets made,” to the visitor. “Come in the conference room and I will show you a finished sausage….” Good slip, too much info.

The stranger turns out to be Mr. Grotti—an insurance salesman trying to persuade Michael to make a purchase from him.

Meanwhile, we find out that Kevin has been “borrowing” Jim’s office to pass gas while he’s away. Feeling at home there, he decides to make the move somewhat permanent. We soon see Kevin doing sit-ups on Jim’s floor. The fact that he’s exercising is way more surprising than his decision to fart there.

On the other side of the office, Andy and Dwight are feeling skeptical about Mr. Grotti, who is speculating about disasters that might occur in the office. The pair determines that Grotti is probably a mobster (because, you know, he’s Italian). Upon finding out his name, they immediately assume he is related to Gotti.

Oscar seems distressed about these suspicions, saying that without Jim and Pam, “The coalition for reason is extremely weak.” A few minutes later, he calls the newlyweds, who quickly hang up on him.

Next, Andy, Dwight and Michael convene to read an e-mail from Mr. Grotti. Andy believes that Grotti will burn down the warehouse if they don’t buy insurance from him, while Dwight thinks that the only way to defeat bullies is to stand up to them—he should know, he is one. The group decides on a lunch (showdown?) in a public place.  Andy soon shows up to lunch dressed as a mechanic in order to justify bringing a weapon—a tire iron that a real mobster could probably crush in their teeth!

Kevin, who is still enjoying the benefits of Jim’s huge office, gets a call from Capitol One. He provides them with Jim’s social security number and address to verify his account, much to the dismay of Jim, whose credit card will now be canceled due to sketchy Puerto Rican activity. Oops!

While Michael continues to stand strong against Mr. Grotti, Kevin tells Oscar that he thinks he will end up in jail—a problem for him but not for his gay friend who would last a lot longer there. (I’m cringing as I write this).

At the luncheon with Grotti, a woman approaches Andy: her car has broken down and she needs the help of a mechanic. Andy follows her outside with a look of worry that he will most likely electrocute himself trying to jump start the poor woman’s vehicle. After a loud explosion and a bunch of sparks, he exclaims, “I work exclusively on motorcycles,” and hurries back inside.  Eventually, Michael breaks down and buys Grotti’s insurance plan.

Once back in the office, Michael decides to call Jim, who is on a catamaran with Pam. He explains that he’s in trouble with either the mob or a major insurance carrier. Just as Jim is dispelling his important advice, the phone signal cuts out and all you hear is “Bermuda triangle, please don’t call again.”

Dwight decides to “surgically remove the fear center from Michael’s brain,” by telling him that Grotti is clean.

“If there’s one thing I hate more than the mafia, it’s liars,” says Michael. He then attacks Grotti over the phone, calling him a “total and utter jerk,” and throwing out a malicious “You suck!” before hanging up.

Even after Dwight and Andy tell Michael the truth about not knowing Grotti’s identity, all is not lost. If there’s one thing Michael Scott enjoys, then it’s impressing his employees with his own accounts of bravery—this time in standing up to the mafia.

At the end of the episode, Kevin calls Pam, feeling guilty about the credit card debacle. “Tell Jim I say hi,” he says. Pam seems pissed and tells him not to call again. Kevin feels elated that they don’t suspect anything.

This episode was a major yawn-fest. I’m crossing my fingers that Pam and Jim’s return will lead to this season’s much-needed redemption.

Season 6, Episode 5: Mafia (Originally aired October 15, 2009)

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Thursdays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC, Mitchell Haaseth, Trae Patton, and Chris Haston