America’s Next Top Model: Dancing=Destroyed

I haven’t watched any of America’s Next Top Model until this week, the final four. I have seen the show before, but usually in one of those lazy Saturdays where I do nothing except watch an entire season on MTV. It’s a problem. What always amazes me is the transformation these girls go through. On judging days, many of them look like girls no one would glance at twice, then they take these photos, and WOW. Gorgeous.

This week we watch the final four, Laura, Nicole, Erin, and Jennifer, battle it out. The first part of the show is the challenge, which this week is something called Hip-hop Hula. They have to learn some dance steps, come up with a meaningful solo of their own, and perform for Miss J and their instructor. All of the girls are pretty bad dancers. I love how Erin thinks she’s the exception to this statement, I guess because she used to be a cheerleader. She does pick it up faster than the others, though, and does a good deed by helping them learn the steps as well.

When it comes time to perform, Jennifer goes first and is awful. Out of all the girls, Erin does the best by a long shot. Nicole is the worst. She has no rhythm. Absolutely none. I’m not saying if I had to dance a routine in front of people I wouldn’t end up looking silly, but damn. She is terrible. Laura does a passable job, so of course she ends up winning the challenge because she knows how to shake her rear. Instead of choosing Erin to share her prize, thanking her for the help, she chooses Jennifer.

I like their time together at the house, because it starts to showcase their personalities a bit and gives me an idea of the established hierarchy. Everyone thinks Nicole is the best, and will surely have a place in the final three. Erin is insecure, for some reason, even though by my estimation she’s the prettiest of the bunch. Laura wants to win so she can help her family financially, as well as model for her younger siblings that they can accomplish big dreams. Tear. Jennifer…actually, I don’t feel like I got a good picture of her at all.

The Tyra mail arrives, and they are off to their photo shoot where Jay Manuel greets them enthusiastically. He casually informs them that not one, but two girls will be cut on tonight’s episode. Then tells them not to be nervous or think about it during their shoot. Because he (or the producers) do want them to think about it and be nervous. High Drama.

The shoot goes down well, with each girl portraying a Hawaiian goddess and posing on an outcropping of rock. Laura has a bad day, according to Jay, as does Jennifer. All that’s left to do now is wait. They go in front of the judges, and on to my favorite part – showing the finished photos. All the photographs are  beautiful. All the judges (including guest judge Ann Shoket) give high praise, but criticize two things. Erin’s total film isn’t as strong as Tyra would like, she has to dig too hard to find brilliance. Laura’s face-to-face persona and style are weak. I totally agree. She’s got a rough Southern accent, and not the lilting, soft, attractive kind. The hard, country, I can kill my own dinner kind.

Going into the final judging, I’m pretty sure of two things: Nicole will be one of the final two, and Jennifer will not. The suspense builds around Erin and Laura but Laura joins Nicole for the finale. I suspect it has a lot to do with her general likability and her uplifting personal story. I think Erin’s photos are better, and that she’s a beautiful girl. This is what always strikes me when I watch this show though: how little I know about high fashion modeling. That’s why it works, why we trust the experts to know who can hack it and who can’t. I’m looking forward to next week, when we’ll find out if Laura can pull off the upset. I’m behind her, because I’ve always been one to root for the underdog against the frontrunner. It keeps things interesting.

For another take on this week’s episode, check out Hawaiian Hip Hop by Jaimie Campos.

Season 13, Episode 11: Hawaiian Hip Hop (originally aired November 11, 2009)

For more on America’s Next Top Model, click here.

Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Ryan Goble