America’s Next Top Model: Hawaiian Hip Hop

And then there were four! Let’s start with the end: the conclusion of this episode is much more exciting than the recycled Teach and Challenge, and much is made of the photo shoot that never comes about – it’s pretty clear who’s going to the finale and even Tyra knows that. So maybe that’s why we’re treated this week with a double elimination of two Ty-testants. It doesn’t matter to me – all I know is we’re one episode away from the finale. So let’s get to it!

Erin decides she needs a kick ass photo shoot to save herself and stay out of the bottom two for the fourth week in a row. At the start, the girls don’t know that only two will survive this week, so they all just want to do better than the worst person. Jennifer’s proud of herself for not giving up, and Nicole appreciates this experience because of how much she has grown, both as a model and as a person.  Kentucky can’t quite believe she’s still here, choking back tears as she mentions that just a few months ago, she was castrating cows. I stop eating the hamburger I was having for dinner.

For this week’s challenge, the girls learn how to mix traditional hula dancing with hip hop. It’s pretty cool to watch and we don’t see enough of it, except that this is basically a recycled version of the Benny Ninja challenge. The girls must incorporate a traditional hula solo into a hip hop hula routine, complete with background dancers. They will be judged on the storytelling aspects of their solo and their overall dancing abilities.

Jennifer’s confused by the concept, Kentucky’s all about faking it until she makes it, Nicole still hasn’t learned how to dance or retain choreography, and Erin thinks she should win because she was a cheerleader. She helps the girls learn the group choreography, much to Nicole’s dismay, because remember: Erin’s annoying. The editing backs this claim up.

The girls do their dances for Ms. J and the hula teacher. Kentucky wins for putting together the most comprehensive solo story with knockout butt shaking. She chooses Jennifer to join her for an all expenses paid trip back to Hawaii, staying at the Four Seasons. Damn! Erin thinks Kentucky should have picked her, because she helped everyone with the dance steps. Erin, however, hasn’t received the memo about how she comes off to everyone else. I wonder how she’s going to react when she sees herself on television.

Photo shoot. At the Secret Beach, Jay Manuel explains that the girls will be made up as the Volcano Goddess, Pele, with the shoot taking place on volcanic rock with the crashing waves of the ocean in the background. Then he drops the bomb that two people will be Ty-minated (aka, eliminated) at panel. The girls all freak. Except for Nicole, who accepts the challenge and then steps up to it.

Jennifer tries to be creative, but fails. She ignores Jay’s advice until she realizes he’s right, and generally struggles to time her shots with the waves in the background. Nicole clears her mind of the double elimination, and seems to nail shot after shot. She does so well that Jay “just peed in his pants.” I love her hair.

Kentucky battles nerves throughout the entire shoot, not reacting well to criticisms. She interviews that she panicked too much and lost it, and when she stopped having fun, she messed up. Jay tells her she looked a little “boozy.” It would appear that Kentucky just tanked her chances at making it to the finale.

Erin looks beautiful, but Jay tells her she looks angry. She starts singing a song in her head, “one of those pop songs that teenagers listen to.” Isn’t she eighteen? You’d think she was hitting thirty or something. Nevertheless, her trick works, and her face softens. The photo becomes “magical,” according to Jay. Then she bangs her head on the photographer’s light as she descends from the rocks. Funny, but unnecessarily mean to show onscreen. Nice, editors.

Judging. Guest judge: Ann Shoket.

Erin looks beautiful and long in her photo, impressing everyone but Ms. Jay, who thinks she could have added more to her eyes. Tyra tells her that she looked sleepy in most of her film. Nigel calls Jennifer’s photo pretty, but not her best angle. She’s too compact and small. She explains that she tried other things, and Tyra shoots her down by telling her that she looked amateur and unfocused in the other photos. Kentucky looks like Rachel Hunter, and Ms. Jay calls her “the gold tooth in a mouth full of decay.” This is meant as a compliment, meaning she can turn it on, but that’s the oddest compliment ever. Her photo blows the judges away. I think her face looks as awkward as is humanly possible, but she’s clearly safe and all that editing during the photo shoot about her boozy appearance was probably meant to make us wonder who would be cut. But it ain’t Kentucky, so let’s move on! Tyra chooses a photo for Nicole that makes her look awkward – this cannot be her best shot. It gives Nigel a chance to criticize her lack of movement and angles, because I’m sure the intent is to hear something negative about everyone to build suspense. As if, Tyra! Despite Nigel’s comments, the other judges love Nicole’s photo, so I think we know how this will end.

I won’t go over deliberation, because really – will anyone be surprised with the eliminations? The girls line back up, and called first: Nicole. Audiences everywhere say: Duh. Tyra calls up the final three for a short lecture about their faults: Jennifer’s lost her way and has become inconsistent; Kentucky’s not much of a model in person despite amazing photos; and Erin started strong but collapsed, even though she nailed a great photo this week. The second girl on her way to the finale: Kentucky. Duh again! Erin and Jennifer share a double hug with Tyra, not worthy of solo time. Erin calls it “a punch in the face,” to make it this far only to be eliminated. Jennifer’s heart has been ripped out, but she’s much more positive.

And now it’s time for the final runway! I want Kentucky to win, but I’m pretty sure Nicole will take it. However, I’ll be happy with either girl as winner because I like them both a lot. So way to go, Tyra. You got this one very, very right!

Next week: Finale!

For another take on this episode, read Dancing = Destroyed by Trisha Huntsman.

Season 13, Episode 11: Hawaiian Hip Hop (originally aired November 11, 2009)

For more on America’s Next Top Model, click here.

Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Ryan Goble