Gossip Girl: GaGa for Do-Overs?

There are so many good things to say about tonight’s episode, and Lady GaGa’s at the bottom of the heap. I didn’t even realize what had been missing recently until they gave it back tonight. Interaction between the characters. Intersection of the storylines. Tonight they converged in three different scenarios, and it was lovely to see them working together again. One thing that didn’t come together: multiple references to James Frey and A Million Little Pieces. First of all, I think they are giving their audience an awful lot of credit assuming these references will hit home. I mean, maybe I’m wrong. The guy did pick a fight with Oprah. I kept expecting the reference to come back into play, for the theme to deal with the consequences of lying, or rewriting your past, or something like that. Nope.

Chuck Bass  (Ed Westwick) is entertaining a diplomat’s son in order to help promote his hotel in international circles. Visiting the Statue of Liberty and the Planetarium aren’t his bag, however, so when Jenny (Taylor Momsen) whiffs his good looks and potential popularity boost he hands over the reigns to the young man’s day without argument. His interest in playing with the toy sailboats at the park embarrasses Jenny until he reveals he is actually selling drugs. Okaaay. Jenny decides her life as Queen of Constance is boring and a European drug-dealing boyfriend is just what she needs. Who doesn’t, really? Chuck busts up the party when his maid staff finds drugs in the boys room, taking Jenny home and giving her a big brotherly lecture. She’s obviously not going to heed his advice and I see this story as a repeat of Serena’s younger days. BO-RING.

It’s a good thing Chuck is stepping into the older brother shoes since Dan (Penn Badgley) is busy dealing with the fallout from his threesome last week. Things are weird between him, Vanessa (Jessica Szohr), and Olivia (Hilary Duff) and the girls are fighting for possession of him. The flashback shots are over-the-top cheesy, with fluffy music, wind machines, and ridiculous angles. Nate (Chace Crawford) is an odd, advice-giving gypsy for the beginning of the episode until they reveal the reason behind this new personality facet. Dan’s trying to convince everyone he and Vanessa are the same as always, but Olivia is still jealous. She busts up Dan and Vanessa’s traditional concert plans and signs them up for a Cabaret night for the NYU Theatre Department. Dan jumps at the chance because he’s decided (since last week) that he’s thinking about screenwriting.

Blair (Leighton Meester) is also trying to get an invitation to Cabaret night in order to pull off an alliance with the “spawn of moguls and movie stars,” otherwise known as the Ticsh kids. I had to look it up, too. It’s the NYU Arts School. You’re welcome. The “in” crown at the school, Blair sees them as the only options for elite minions at NYU. When they snub her, she goes to Olivia who agrees to star in a skit in order to rope Dan in. See what I mean? Its been a while since Dan, Blair, Olivia, and Vanessa were all integrated into one arc. Dan writes a play, which Blair and Olivia will star in. When he realizes his wanton escapades are causing tension in his life, he figures the best idea would be to bring Vanessa in to direct the play. Right. Because getting two girls who are essentially fighting over you working together in a small space always works out well. Poo hits the fan, the girls throw down, and everyone tries to quit. That’s when Blair realizes what happened (i.e.: threesome) and blackmails the girls into continuing the play. The show must go on, Blair must impress the theatre kids, etc. Blair’s blackmailing scenes are classic.

Just before the show begins, Olivia reveals that she saw something between Dan and Vanessa. She tells Dan that Vanessa doesn’t have a thing for him; it’s the other way around. After kissing Vanessa again as part of the play, he thinks Olivia might be right. Vanessa reveals a crush on one of the theatre kids after assuring Olivia she has no feelings for Dan WHATSOEVER. Ouch. Poor Dan, relegated to Lonely Boy status once again. Olivia tells him she is leaving school to work on a new film but will be back next fall. This is both good news and bad news. The good news is Hilary Duff will be leaving Gossip Girl. The bad news is, it might not be permanent.

Serena (Blake Lively) goes to Nate for help regarding her growing attraction to Tripp (Aaron Tveit) and the difficulty the two of them are having squashing their feelings.  Since Nate’s new thing is giving advice to everyone on the show, he forgives her and agrees to help. But does he have an ulterior motive? The Serena and Tripp drama turns into a love triangle with Nate revealing feelings for Serena once again. Seriously? We’re going back there? I’m not excited about it. It will run a close second on the BO-RING meter to Jenny’s descent into troubled teendom. Tripp finds out from Nate’s mother that his wife, Maureen (Holley Fain), is the one who set up his heroic act the day of the election. How Nate’s mother knows this, I have no idea. Neither do the writers, apparently, since they never say. Tripp needed to find out what kind of woman he’s married to, so they invented a way for him to find out. When Serena learns of this, and Tripp’s subsequent depression over the state of his marriage, she decides the line that kept her from making a move on Tripp is “blurry” now. I’m not sure how a marriage license can be blurry, but hey, I don’t live on the Upper East Side. Nor am I part of Manhattan’s Elite. Maybe there are marriage rules I’m not aware of.

Serena and Tripp’s arc is the only one with any real promise for the weeks to come. Dan and Vanessa. Meh. Been there, done that. The Jenny storyline is recycled from Serena’s first season descent into debauchery. Nate and Serena will-they-won’t-they is also a rerun. I am always in favor of more screen time for Blair, and I’m thinking she’s finally going to get somewhere with the NYU crowd. In a totally anti-climactic moment, she manages to get everyone in to see Lady GaGa’s rehearsals. The most amazing revelation of the night: Lady GaGa graduated from college?

For another take on this episode, check out Caught in a Bad Romance by Matt DeGroot.

Season 3, Episode 9: Last Days of Disco Stick (originally aired November 16, 2009)

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Mondays at 8/7C, The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Giovanni Rufino