THURSDAY, 3rd

JERSEY SHORE: MTV promises to show us “that there is more to these tan and buff individuals than hair gel.” I’m waiting to have my mind blown. (10pm/MTV)

FRIDAY, 4th

DREAMS COME TRUE: A CELEBRATION OF DISNEY ANIMATION: It’s been 75 years since Disney has been giving little girls false impressions of the male gender. I’m still waiting for my Prince Charming. (8pm/ABC)

SATURDAY, 5th

12 MEN OF CHRISTMAS: Kristin Chenoweth stars in this film. Oh Cheno, you are worth so much more than a Lifetime original movie. So.much.more. (9pm/Lifetime)

Planet 51: Rent It

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen an animated movie and to be honest I had low expectations. Planet 51 though is surprisingly enjoyable with some good voice acting from Hollywood stars like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Jessica Biel, and Justin Long.

We start off with two teenagers up on make-out point, reminiscent of old drive-in movies, when suddenly an alien spaceship hovers overhead and begins to attack. They drive for their life and are saved by the army who begins to shoot at the alien, only to be quickly over powered. Suddenly, we get a clear view of the army general, who turns around and he’s green with antennas on his head. This turns out to be a movie about an alien invasion ala War of the Worlds.

Next a little boy watching the film is pulled out of his seat and out of the theater by his mom and we are introduced to the world that is Planet 51. It’s much like Earth in the 1950’s. From the music, clothes, and even the friendly mailman. Except of course everyone is green with antennas and have four fingers. Our main character is Lem (voiced by Justin Long), a high school student who gets a part time job as a junior assistant at the local observatory. Lem is in love with the Neera (voiced by Jessica Biel), the girl next door . There is also Skiff (voiced by Seann William Scott), Lem’s friend who works at the comic book shop. Life is going well for the youngster, who is working up the courage to ask Neera out feeling emboldened by his new job. Things take a turn though when an alien lands in his backyard.

The alien turns out to be NASA astronaut Captain Chuck Baker(voiced by Dwayne Johnson), who bounces out of the spaceship holding the American’s flag to claim the planet for the United States. He soon realizes that creatures preparing to have a barbecue are staring at him looking absolutely terrified. After a series of mishaps, Lem and Chuck finally meet and discover they both speak English. The teenager finally agrees to help the astronaut get back to his ship so he can get back onto a larger ship that’s will make the return trip back to Earth. Problem is the army has arrived, lead by General Grawl (voiced by Gary Oldman) who seeks to capture Chuck because of the fear of an alien invasion. The rest of the movie involves Lem and his friends helping Chuck get back to his ship and along the way getting to realize that they aren’t so different after all.

The theme of the film is about not fearing the unknown. Lem took that first step in agreeing to help Chuck and what he got in return was the ability to stand for what he believed in. This is a good message to teach kids, the targeted audience, but even adults can learn something from the experiences of these characters.

The animation is also better than expected. This is the first animated film from Tri-Star pictures that I’ve watched and I appreciate the detail that went into creating the fictional town. It is essentially “alienified” with cars resembling flying saucers from old Hollywood movies. While it can’t compare to the quality of Pixar animated films, it exceed my expectations. My favorite part of the movie was Rover, the roving droid who was sent by NASA to take pictures of the planet. It takes on the qualities of a dog with a love for rocks. Chuck hilariously points out that of all the things Rover could take pictures of, it sends back images of rocks instead of the full functioning society that is already dwelling there.

Planet 51 is a feel good movie that would be especially great to bring the little ones too. But I would recommend renting this rather than seeing it on the big screen. It was better than expected though not enough to spend ten dollars per person for.

Old Dogs: For Kids Only

This Disney film opening on the eve of Turkey Day has plenty of big name actors, but my guess before seeing Old Dogs was that this film would be geared towards young kids and feature a lot of juvenile humor. Apparently, I was right on. Old Dogs…same old tricks.

Old Dogs tells the story of Dan (Robin Williams) and Charlie (John Travolta), life-long best friends and business partners in a sports marketing company as they are about to land the biggest deal of their careers. Charlie is the ladies man, happy to live the bachelor life with his dog, Lucky. Dan is a divorcee but still pining for the love of his life and second wife, Vicki (Kelly Preston), who he drunkenly married, which was later annulled, in South Beach.

Out of the blue, Vicki shows up with twins (Dan’s kids) that he didn’t know existed. Vicki decides she wants to finally introduce the seven-year-old twins, Zach (Conner Rayburn) and Emily (Ella Bleu Travolta) to their father because he confessed his feelings for her in a twelve-page single spaced letter. She explains that she has been arrested for trespassing and has to spend two weeks in jail. Her best friend, Jenna (Rita Wilson), the cross-eyed hand model will babysit. Accidentally, Dan shuts Jenna’s hands in the trunk of the car, leaving her unable to watch the kids. Thus the kids end up with Dan and Charlie for the two weeks. The best friends try to balance their growing business while watching the kids. Dan, “who is allergic to anything under four feet tall” struggles to connect with Zach and Emma. As you can probably imagine many debacles ensue as Dan, who never wanted kids, tries to be the best father he can. The film follows the next two weeks of childproofing (they are seven not two), camping, switching of pills with different side effects and much more.

To be honest, this movie was just dumb. Yes, there were a couple scenes that made me laugh, like Seth Green’s high pitched screaming in the gorilla enclosure, but the jokes were aimed for children most likely ten and younger. There were old jokes, bathroom jokes, bear scat, poop-flavored tea and below the belt humor that just really doesn’t do much for me. Nevertheless, the kids all around me in the theater thought it was hysterical. Also, thank you Disney for the scene with Robin Williams in a Speedo during a spray tan, definitely something I NEVER wanted to see!!

Newcomers Conner Rayburn and Ella Bleu Travolta were very cute and did a pretty good job. Old Dogs will not be what Robin Williams and John Travolta’s careers are remembered for. What a surprise was that so many others including Lori Loughlin, Seth Green, Justin Long (whose mustache was awful!) Matt Dillon, the late Bernie Mac and Ann-Margret were in such a blah film.

My final thoughts—unless you’ve got kids dying to see it, it’s not worth it.

Glee: It’s All About the Hair

This week the Sue of old that walked the hallways in Glee’s earlier episodes returns.  The episode opens with her demanding the sectional set-list from Mr. Schuester.  It is later confirmed, although immediately expected, that Sue is using the information to tip off the other two competing schools – a socially and economically limited girls’ school and a school for the deaf.  Mr. Schu heads to the first school to confront the principal about the issue of a possible unfair advantage, where he ends up having to pass through more security clearances than an entry-level government position (And that analogy comes after living in D.C. for a little under 2 months…).

The attending principal at this disenfranchised girls’ academy (Who’s that principal? Ruff Ryder Eve) denies that she has been in cahoots with Sue.  In fact, she becomes a little offended leading Mr. Schu to invite them to use the McKinley auditorium, rather than the schoolyard that they are currently limited to, as a symbol of peaceful relations.  Cut to an enjoyable performance of Beyonce’s Bootylicious that leaves not only the McKinley Glee kids and Schuester, but also myself, with blank stares and dropped jaws.  Rachel is quick to point out that this is simply an effect of hairography in which epileptic hair swinging and rump shaking is used as a distraction- which becomes the major theme for the episode – from sub-par singing and dancing (When you think about it, this is a pretty common tactic used by Beyonce, herself…Not to say that is a completely terrible thing).  Schu is not immediately convinced by this hairography theory so he decides to go out and buy a sack of wigs for their next number.

We also see Quinn really begin to struggle with the idea of giving up her baby to Terri.  At this point, Terri’s brief freakouts to ensure that Schu doesn’t discover that she isn’t pregnant might be less bearable than sitting through an episode of Hannah Montana.  Terri also looks for something to distract Schu from her fake pregnancy so she goes and buys him a beat up sports car that he had driven in high school so that he could spend time fixing it up.  I feel like these days a nice Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 might have been a little more viable option as a distraction, especially since he only ends up selling the car for some crummy soccer-mom mini-van because of its kid friendliness.  (Video games are very kid friendly) Schuester is going to really regret giving away that chick-magnet when he realizes there is no baby girl on the way.

While Quinn remains undecided on whether or not to keep the baby, Terri’s more annoying half (unimaginable that that is even possible, I know) has Quinn babysit to give her a firsthand account of the inner evil of some children.  The tension that has been building up between Puck and Quinn culminates with Quinn inviting Puck to babysit with her while Finn heads to Rachel’s for a night.  They calm the three kids with some Papa Don’t Preach by Madonna accompanied by Puck on the guitar and surprisingly get the kids to bed.

Finn and Rachel’s Friday night does not go as smooth, however, as Kurt deceivingly makes Rachel believe that Finn is interested in hussies and suggests a Grease duet so as to keep away his competition.  AWKWARD.

We then have the principal of the school for the deaf visit Schu upset at the fact that they were not invited to the scrimmage with the girls’ school.  Schu obliges and sets up a second competition.  They perform Crazy in Love once again resulting in blank stares and dropped jaws (although not exactly for the same reasons as before).  The deaf students take their turn and actually turn in a pretty heartfelt performance of Imagine, which excites all kind of emotions from the students as they, one by one, join the students in singing the song.

Quinn later finds out that Puck had actually been sending sexy texts (Or “sexting”) with Santana the entire night they spent together.  This naturally causes her to doubt the ability of the average high school male (Puck does a pretty impressively horrible job at doing the ‘let me explain’ thing) and ultimately realize the consequences of keeping a baby without having a reliable father.

We end the show with the Glee club realizing that it isn’t about the showmanship, but the talent that each one of them have individually and collectively as singers.  They put this epiphany to work by doing a still performance of True Colors without any theatrics, just pure harmony.

For another take on this episode, check out Hairography, Shmairography by Alyssa Martino.

Season 1, Episode 11: Hairography (originally aired November 25, 2009)

For more on Glee, click here.

Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Glee: Hairography, Shmairography

This week’s episode was a hair-raiser–literally. After scrimmaging one of the other Glee clubs, New Directions–under Will’s command–mimics the competition and performs in outrageous wigs–what Rachel calls “hairography,” but what is really code to the rest of us for a failed attempt to look like Britney’s backup dancers. Rachel says that this type of show–put on by guest star Eve’s choir–is just a means to distract from their poor vocals and dance moves. Regardless, the opposing school’s rendition of Destiny Child’s “Bootylicious” entertains the masses–and the immense hair flipping certainly didn’t hurt their style.

But anyway, let’s backtrack.

Will believes Sue is up to something when she attacks him about handing over the sectionals set list. Emma suggests he pay the other directors a visit to see if Sue has been trying to leak their tunes. The two competitors are a school of thieves and a school for the deaf.

After Eve’s bootylicious performance, Will panics. This is unlike him, and I felt as if he was having an out of body experience all show. He has struggled before–fighting with Sue, with his feeling for Emma–but he has always stood by and encouraged the kids. In this episode, we see him doubt them, trying to mask their true selves through hair, which is fittingly the number he chooses as the final selection for sectionals.

Yet when the Gleeks later showdown with the school for the deaf, they are embarrassed by their hairography. Their competitors sing a moving “Imagine” by John Lennon, proving something I’ve known for years: this song really is one of the best of all time. Halfway through, Mercedes and the rest of the gang join their competition on stage, singing and signing in unison.

And now, some updates on what has now evidently become a love pentagon (join the club, Kurt). Quinn wants some alone time with Puck, so she convinces Kurt to give Rachel a makeover in order to distract Finn. When Kurt finds out Rachel likes Finn, he sabotages her new look–what Finn eloquently describes as “a sad clown hooker.” Really, her new getup was reminiscent of Sandy’s makeover in Grease, as she tries to seduce Finn to “You’re the One That I Want.”

Meanwhile, Quinn wants to keep her baby, as the lyrics in “Papa Don’t Preach” conspicuously imply. Terri intervenes, as she knows this will be toxic to her relationship with Will. To ensure her desired outcome, she has Quinn babysit for her demon nephews. But Quinn invites Puck over and his guitar and her singing put the boys right to sleep.

When Quinn later finds that Puck was sexting Santana all night, she loses all hope that her baby will ever have a stable and competent father–unless she gives the baby to Terri and Will.

Meanwhile, Will buys a minivan for the kid and throws hairography out the window for a semi-cheesy version of “True Colors,” to close out the episode. Oh and also, Sue is leaking the Glee set list to the competition, though it’s unclear if they actually took the bait.

Final thoughts:

• Will worried me, but came through in the end (I originally had in my notes, “But he’s supposed to hold the show together!!”)
• Is the show doing a good job at balancing its serious undertones and lighthearted spoof? This episode was heavy on the stoicism (Although, I did love the book, “How to Raise a Baby On Five Dollars”)
• Terri is so annoying. Will needs to end up with Emma. We’ve got a lot of emotional attachments and commitments to sever before that can happen– so I say, let the severing begin!

For another take on this episode, check out It’s All About the Hair by Matthew Turnier.

Season 1, Episode 11: Hairography (originally aired November 25, 2009)

For more on Glee, click here.

Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

So You Think You Can Dance: And the Top 10 Are…

I am seriously loving on this show right now. I can’t get enough of most of the dances, dancers, and choreographers. As with most of these types of shows, the judges face time could easily be decreased by at least half. Implementing a no screeching rule would also work. Either way, the judges’ work is mostly done because after Wednesday night, only the audience votes will determine who goes home and who stays. In addition, starting next week there will be new partnerships. For some, this is going to be devastating. For others, not so much. Below are the couples as they stood this week, and I’ve ranked them from my favorites down. Because I can.

Legacy and Kathryn – Their first piece was a Sonya Tayeh Jazz routine and it completely blew my mind. Legacy again confounded the laws of physics and performed a lovely dance. Kathryn, to use a word that came to my mind even as Nigel Lythgoe spoke it, was exquisite. Their second dance, a Viennese Waltz, gave Legacy a bit more trouble but from the point of view of someone who doesn’t know the ins and outs of waltzing (me), I still enjoyed it very much. Legacy cried again afterward; the fact that he was touched by a waltz was quite endearing. The judges gave him suggestions for improvement rather than criticism. Kathryn is magical, she really is. The girl has flown under the radar a bit, I suppose because she’s just so good at everything. They don’t talk to her about improving, or how she’s growing, because she was already that good when she set foot on the stage. I think Legacy owes her a big thanks for making the top ten, though his own self-effacing charm didn’t hurt them either. I’m a little down about these two splitting up, mostly because I enjoy them both. Kathryn is far and away my favorite girl.

Jakob and Ashleigh – Wow, these two are on fire right now. Tuesday night they began with a Sonya Tayeh Lyrical Jazz routine, and from the opening clip it looked like Ashleigh was having trouble loosening up. A ballroom dancer, her limbs are trained to be stiff, her movements precise. Lyrical Jazz (as far as I can tell) is a bit like Contemporary and much freer with its movements. We all knew Jakob was going to blow it out of the water before he set foot on stage. The guy can’t do a thing wrong, especially in a Jazz/Contemporary piece. The surprise was, once again, Ashleigh. I didn’t begin this season as a fan but she’s made me one by getting out there and performing the heck out of every number they’ve given her. Being partnered with Jakob certainly hasn’t hurt any. Their second number was a Cha-Cha, choreographed by Jean Marc Genereux, and boy was Ashleigh in her element. She was perfect, really shone on the stage, but everyone expected her to. Jakob kept up, even took on a lot of ballroom persona, and was there helping Ashleigh have her moment. Breaking up this partnership will be sad, and both of them will have to work harder apart than they did together.

Russell and Noelle – Noelle is my second favorite girl on the show and Russell’s eagerness in learning other styles is captivating, making them another couple I’ll be sorry to see go.  Tuesday night they drew a Samba, which was a bit of a disaster and Noelle’s hip shaking cheerleader smile contrasted oddly against a dance that’s supposed to be sultry. The judges didn’t love it, but didn’t hate it either. Their second dance, a Tyce Diorio contemporary piece, was emotional and powerful. Russell, a crumper, joins Legacy every week in the astounding growth category, and Noelle is beautiful in her element. Their contemporary piece was one of my favorites of the season and per Nigel, assured their place in the top ten.

Ryan and Ellenore – This couple, who actually strike me as a bit odd, started their night with a Lindy Hop, choreographed by Carla Heiney. As a lover of old movies, cheesy dialogue, and Jimmy Stewart, this dance was right up my alley. Ryan especially looked like he belonged on the dance floor in It’s a Wonderful Life, which in this case is a compliment. Ellenore held her own, but Ryan was the one I found myself watching. Their second assignment was a Broadway number by Spencer Liff set to Razzle Dazzle, and this time they both hit the nail on the head.  Ryan played the character perfectly, and seriously, I never remembered for a second that he’s a ballroom dancer by trade. Broadway fits Ellenore, gives her different personality a place to shine. The judges loved their performances, and to be honest, so did I.  The audience, for some reason, has trouble connecting with these two.

Victor and Karen – This couple is new to each other, and to be honest, I think Karen should have been gone two weeks ago. I like Victor, he’s passionate about dance and determined to improve, but he’s had an unfortunate partner draw in the weeks previous. They began with a Tango, and there is nothing bad to say about it. For me, there’s also nothing super standout to talk about either. Their second dance was a Laurieann Gibson Hip Hop routine, and I don’t know, it was a little just okay. They weren’t together, all the chemistry they found for the Tango had disappeared, and neither of them looked convincing.

Nathan and Mollee – These two have been bothering me for a few weeks because honestly, I’m not sure either of them deserves to be taking up a spot on the show. After Tuesday night, though, I decided it was Nathan that rubs me the wrong way and not Mollee. Their first number was a Hip Hop concept by Jamal Sims, and Mollee was not very good. Nathan looked like he was having fun, but I agreed with Nigel when he told them it looked a little amateurish. They looked like they were playing dress up and put on a show for the parents at Thanksgiving. Their last number was the CanCan, a new dance to the show, choreographed by Jean Marc Genereux. It was frantic, happy, and all over the place, suiting their personalities quite well. They danced it fine, but it’s not my favorite style nor is it easy to connect with an audience when you’re spinning, whirling, and kicking your way around the stage in a frenzy.

Wednesday night’s results show revealed that America and I think alike. The bottom three couples were Ryan and Ellenore (most likely a result of their inability to connect with fans), Mollee and Nathan (their immaturity and Nathan’s attitude bringing them down), and Victor and Karen.  I enjoyed all the solos, but thought Mollee and Victor fought the hardest and really danced for their lives. If I had my choice, Karen and Nathan would go home. The judges agree with me on the girls, and finally send Karen packing after three weeks in the bottom group. She’s sexy, without a doubt. Confident, good at what she does, and charismatic. For some reason, though, I don’t like her and I’m not terribly sad to see her go. The choice of guy, though, disappointed me. They keep Nathan, even though Nigel informs him that he wanted to send him home. Instead, they boot Victor. I’m not sure about the decision. Nathan has shown himself to be shallow, unappreciative, and unable to handle constructive or negative feedback in an appropriate fashion. Victor has only displayed class, passion, and a willingness to improve. That’s the way the cookie crumbled this week, though, so your Top 10 are: Kathryn, Ashleigh, Noelle, Ellenore, Mollee, Jakob, Russell, Legacy, Ryan, and Nathan.

For another opinion on this episode, check out So Close Yet So Far by Inisia Lewis.

Season 6, Episodes 17-18:  The Top 12 Perform & Two of 12 Voted Off (originally aired November 24 & 25, 2009)

For more on So You Think You Can Dance, click here.

Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 8/7c on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

The Good Wife: The Breakdown

CBS’s The Good Wife continues to find the perfect balance between emotional tension and legal drama, as this week’s episode offers viewers not only what the show needed, but something viewers probably didn’t even know that they wanted. I didn’t, know that is, until I saw it. But we’ll get to that later, because Peter’s mistress is in the house, on the TV, and in the magazines, in bookstores, and pretty much everywhere…

We start this episode with an interview of Amber, Peter’s call girl and the woman at the center of all of the scandal, on Chelsea Handler. True to form, Chelsea asks really ribald questions about the sexual encounters between Amber and Peter Florrick. There was something about threesomes, kinky sex, and his frigid wife, spoken a little too casually for comfort, especially if you are Peter’s kids who are watching this at home. Oh, and did I mention that Amber’s writing a tell-all book, yes, so that’s going to be great.

Anyway, Peter’s lawyer and image consultant are in damage control, while Peter’s just trying to reach Alicia who’s avoiding his calls but still doesn’t know about the interview that has her back under everyone’s microscope. This ignorance is ended shortly when a coworker shows a mortified Alicia the interview. But no time for an emotional breakdown, time to get to work.

This week the elusive law partner Stern comes back in town bringing with him a very public DUI. Stern, coming in like a burnt up rock star, no offense to any actual burnt up rock stars, immediately puts Will off who then presses Diane to oust Stern from the law firm. In defense of his DUI case Stern solicits Alicia to be his lawyer, this is only a front as his true intentions are to defend himself using Alicia as some sort of puppet mouthpiece. This becomes obvious to everyone in the courtroom as Stern steamrolls Alicia in his own defense. The judge and opposing counsel don’t even bother speaking through Alicia as they direct their questions to Stern. This arrangement suits no one, leaving both Stern and Alicia dissatisfied. After discovering that Stern has dementia, which he tried to cover up with alcohol, Alicia pressures him to give up practicing law, but he declines.

Back on the home front, Alicia has a talk with the kids concerning Amber’s interview where she denounces everything that Amber has said as false. When confronted, Alicia admits that she is still too angry to talk with their father. This prompts another argument between Zach and Grace, Zach who feels that Peter should be forgiven, Grace defending her mother’s right to be angry. After promising the kids, Alicia makes a visit to Peter where she breaks down and demands that he stop Amber. She’s crying and emotionally distraught, she shows that she’s still hurting. And this moment when Alicia cracks is, quite simply, beautiful. It’s something that I didn’t know that I wanted to see, until I saw it. The Good Wife focuses on Alicia’s strength, how she is working to put her life back together. And she is marvelous in her strength, her intelligence, her passion for her family, they carry her through. It’s what keeps people tuned in week after week. But this crack, this moment where she just loses her composure, shows her vulnerability and gives us a glimpse into the constant struggle that she lives with. This scene just gives her such depth and really makes this character shine. I love it. After Alicia’s visit, Peter threatens Amber with his own tell-all involving one of her former lovers who would not appreciate being spoken of. After Peter assures her that yes indeed he would follow through, she backs off.

Back in trial Alicia uncovers the preliminary breathalyzer that the officer failed to put in the report. The breathalyzer showed that Stern was not drunk. The officer’s failure to include it in the report is not appreciated by the judge, who consequently drops the DUI charge.

As she is leaving her office Alicia is confronted by Amber who says that Peter threatened her and that she was afraid for her life. Alicia makes no response and gets into her car. This upsets Amber. In the final scene, Peter gets a visit from Alicia who kisses him and then leaves.

Season 1, Episode 9: Threesome (originally aired November 24, 2009)

For more on The Good Wife, click here.

Tuesday at 10/9c on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS

Dancing With The Stars: Finale

It’s the finale of Dancing With the Stars, the slate has been wiped clean which means that all stars are on an even footing. With R&B singer Mya, performer Donny Osmond, and singer (really?) Kelly Osbourne we enter the final week of competition where anything is possible. Favorites could become losers and a dark horse could rise up and claim the title, because, as we are informed, every dance before this moment is erased… except of course for in those boring montages…

First, Kelly looks over her past performances and just realizes how nervous she was and that she thought she couldn’t do it.

Then, Mya looks over the missteps in her performances over the season and says that she wasn’t expecting Len’s harshness. She still doesn’t quite own how stupid it was to polish Len’s desk.

Donny’s montage is the one where you learn there might be some merit to these flashbacks, as both he and Kym offer entertaining insight on his past performances. Maybe it’s just the fact that these two seem to have fun all the time, but this recap doesn’t seem as much of a duty with them as with the others. Anyway they talked about how Donny progressed from just having fun to being more structured (but still entertaining) in his dance.

This week the performers have three dances we are informed: traditional Ballroom, Megamix, and Freestyle.

Ballroom:
Kelly & Louis: Tango. Carrie-Ann joins them in rehearsal. Seeing that Kelly struggles with intimate dances, Carrie Ann prods her to get closer to her partner. “How does he smell… how does he feel.” Apparently this works as her resulting Tango is smoldering with passion. Len marks that Kelly is what the competition is about, a person with no dance experience coming to perform with such skill. Bruno admires her for her focus and dedication but notes that she had problems with the placement of her hands. Carrie says that she is just so proud of the great intimacy and sophistication. Her score: 26

Mya & Dimitry: Paso Doble. Len joins them in rehearsal and noticing that Mya’s Paso is lackluster, he tells her to show more aggression in the dance and in one of the funnier moments of the show steps into her place to dance with Dimitry. It’s funny because it’s the staid Len showing such passion. Anyway, the resulting Paso was “fearless” and “flamboyant” (this from Bruno.), while Carrie Ann dubbed Mya the “Queen of the Paso Doble.” And Len says that it’s his 2nd favorite Paso of all seasons, behind Mel B. and Max. Her score: 30

Donny and Kym: Cha-Cha-Cha. Bruno comes into the practice with a half-open shirt and a chain around his neck (hello, love it!) and watched their rehearsals telling Donny to focus more on being a good dancer and not just entertaining. He also tells Donny about keeping “up” (posture) in his dance, which Donny makes a noticeable difference in in his performance. Carrie Ann compliments him on his hip movement, Len loves it, and Bruno compliments Donny on his good attitude to criticism. Score: 27

Megamix: a side-by-side competition in which the dancers are placed in first, second, or third place.

The only thing really of notice is that Kelly seemed to have trouble keeping up. This becomes more and more apparent as the dances continue. And then apparently at some point she speeds and gets ahead of everyone else. She blames this on a “wardrobe malfunction.” Seriously, I think that phrase needs to be abolished. Mya and Donny perform admirably and it really is close.

Results: 3rd place- Kelly & Louis, 26 points
2nd place- Donny & Kym, 28 points
1st place- Mya & Dimitry, 30 points

Freestyle:
Kelly’s freestyle was very awkward. With her stiff, sharp movements and bulky shoulder pads it was quite uncomfortable to watch. Here she really showed that she was someone learning to dance, and then she fell. The judges were quite easy on her, calling her a joy to watch. Really? Score: 24

Mya wanted to go all out for her freestyle. Her partner Dimitry on the other hand wanted to do a number from Hair. Reluctantly, Mya gave in even though she thought that it would be too safe. And now the lesson for the day: stick to your guns, as their performance was technically beautiful but really boring. The judges expected more and were disappointed. Score: 27, ouch.

Donny wanted to show his entertaining style in his freestyle. This he did masterfully, with an over the top performance that was fun, exciting, and original. Len called it a showstopper, rightly so. Bruno called Donny the Master of Hollywood. And Carrie Ann welcomed him to the ‘Hall of Fame for Freestyle.’ Such enthusiastic comments can only lead to, you guessed it, a 30.

Final Scores of the night:
Mya & Dimitry: 87
Donny & Kym: 85
Kelly & Louis: 76

Since no results show should be longer than the actual show (Thank you ABC) I’m going to make this short. After a final performance for the judges’ score, point leader Mya fell to a tied number two as Donny Osmond took first place. Kelly Osbourne was somewhere back there, and then not as she was the first to be eliminated. That leaves Mya and Donny who were both thankful for the experience, friendships, whatever… Anyway after an exhausting two hours of filler, an exuberant Donny wins, signaling the end of another, shall we say, surprising season.

Season 9, Week 10: Episodes 20&21 (originally aired November 23&24, 2009)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Competition Mondays at 8/7C, ABC

Elimination Tuesdays at 9/8C, ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey

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