30 Rock: Recycle everything. Including jokes.

Uh-oh. This week’s 30 Rock guest star is Nate Corddry. I adore the Nate, don’t get me wrong, but as soon as he showed up on screen I got all freaked out, and I couldn’t relax for the rest of the episode. I know it’s been three years but I’m still not ready to handle the idea of a 30 Rock/Studio 60 crossover.

Nate has shown up to star in this week’s A plot: Liz’s apartment building is being turned into condos, and Jack convinces her to buy both her place and the one above her so she can turn them into a duplex for her future imaginary husband and children. (By the way, Liz’s imaginary husband is named Astronaut Mike Dexter, and do we think the writers were thinking of this Mike Dexter? Because that seems out there even for 30 Rock.) But Nate Corddry lives in the apartment above Liz, and he hates yuppies who want to build duplexes. He’s a gay hipster cop who wears political T-shirts and doesn’t have a TV, but his apartment smells like Burger King all day and Cinnabon all night. So when he suggests they move into his apartment together, Liz accepts, secretly planning to drive him out of the apartment so she can go ahead with her duplex plan. (Very little of this made sense to me, because I don’t live in New York, but let’s assume there’s some logic to this storyline.) Liz tries various methods of getting him out, but when dramatic suicide threats and Dot Com’s awesome performance as Astronaut Mike Dexter don’t work, she finally borrows a tactic from Frank and pees in a vase, and that does the trick.

In the B plot, David Geiss’ children are fighting it out over their inheritance, and this inspires Jack to get a vasectomy. Tracy decides to do the same, because The Cosby Show lied to him and he can’t tell an amazing strip club story, which involves Charles Barkley and one of the hobbits (Dom, probably; Sean is too married, Billy lives in Scotland, and if it was Elijah, Tracy would’ve known his name. Although I guess it could’ve been Billy if this episode took place during Beecake’s recent U.S. tour. Yes, I know a lot about the hobbits; deal with it.) During a hallucination stemming from Dr. Spaceman’s prescribed general anesthetic, Tracy realizes that the reason his life isn’t like The Cosby Show is that he only has boys, and he wants a baby girl. Fortunately, Jack has already stopped both their procedures, because he had a precious moment with Tracy Junior in the waiting room (it’s Take Your Black Kid to Work Day) and decided he wants to have kids, too. Aww. Wait, don’t patronize them!

And finally, in the C plot, it’s Green Week once again at NBC, which brings us the green peacock in the corner of the screen and a bunch of lecturing from Kenneth, with help from Masi Oka and someone from Friday Night Lights, plus a recycled cameo from Al Gore himself, who predictably isn’t as funny as he was last time. And then there’s a really gross bit plot involving Frank and some azaleas that I don’t want to talk about.

Other things we learned this week:

• Kenneth’s great-grandfather was killed by a monkey.
• Drama replenishes gay men’s electrolytes.
• The world still has at least one functioning Teddy Ruxpin doll.
• This week’s TGS topical open is about Omarosa borrowing Björk’s swan dress.
• On July 18, 1995, football player Warren Moon reportedly had a violent confrontation with his wife Felicia. She told detectives that he had slapped her, choked her, and chased her when she fled in a car. In a July 21 press conference, Warren apologized for a “tremendous mistake” and said he would seek counseling. Despite Felicia’s refusal to press charges, Warren was arrested for misdemeanor assault and went to trial in February 1996; he was acquitted.

Lines that I would really like to use in my day-to-day life, if I lived in a parallel universe where I had Tina Fey’s wit:

• Global warming is just a bunch of scientist talk.
• It’s my crazy black boyfriend, Astronaut Mike Dexter!
• I’m gonna be grumpy until the end of this sentence.

Season 4, Episode 6: Sun Tea (originally aired November 19, 2009)

For more on 30 Rock, click here.

Thursdays at 9:30/8:30C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Ali Goldstein

Renata Sellitti: If Sarcasm were Currency, I’d be a Millionaire

When Renata Sellitti began writing for Poptimal.com, this lifelong New Yorker never dreamed she’d one day be relocating “Inside the Pop Culture Beltway” too. But, since moving south for grad school, this recent transplant from the Big Apple has begun to realize that in the political fishbowl that is Washington, D.C., she is most definitely a fish out of water.

She began her television love affair at an early age, and to this day respects anyone who remembers the show Today’s Special, wore their hair like Red Fraggle or desperately wanted to be a Huxtable growing up. She also has a tendency to over-quote movies like The Sandlot, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead and the Karate Kid (“Sweep the leg, Johnny!”). Though she made her living indulging her love of music while working for MTV and Vh1 in New York (and yes, they do still feature music), she is sometimes mortified to be associated with the network that brought the world roughly 35 Flavor of Love spinoffs.

These days, she credits her Poptimal experience for introducing her to the wondrousness of Joseph Gordon-Levitt (500 Days of Summer – see it!) but is still somewhat bitter for being forced to watch Jennifer’s Body and Love Happens – 4 hours of her life she claims she’ll never get back. Renata is also not a fan of the television generation gap which reminds her often that interns and undergrads equate Melissa Joan Hart more to Sabrina the Teenage Witch than Clarissa Explains It All (Ferg Face would be insulted). Finally, she may be getting her Masters, but she’s confident she’ll never be able to master the D.C. bus system as long as she lives here.

Her favorite movie genre: John Hughes. Granted, that’s a man and not a genre, but she would beg to differ.

Her favorite TV genre: Tim Riggins.  Again that’s a character on Friday Night Lights and not a genre, but she feels Riggins should have a planet dedicated to him, so why not a genre too?

Currently Covering: White Collar, the Real Housewives of Orange County

IN HER OWN WORDS:  RENATA’S THOUGHTS ON…

Pop culture trends she shuns: Sorcery (Harry Potter be damned), the whole Twilight/Vampire phenomenon (really? I mean, really?), science fiction/futuristic flicks in general. Except, of course, if it was a science fiction movie about people like Spencer and Heidi or anyone with the last name Lohan, Jonas or Cyrus being catapulted into space, in which case I’d be totally on board with it. And yes, I realize that rejecting Twilight and Harry Potter will make me a pariah on this website now, so be it.

Her television guilty pleasures: One Tree Hill (I know, I know) and the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. See, there are these things called jobs… those kids should look into getting some. (and yet I still watch every week…)

The show she is most excited about: Jersey Shore – even though I hate man jewelry and I’m sure I’ll be horrified that these people share my Italian heritage, I am positively giddy about the upcoming season.

The show she’d kill to review: Friday Night Lights, whoever is assigned this I’ll arm wrestle you for it. I mean it.

The show she’s glad she doesn’t have to review: Well, I would’ve said Glee, because I haven’t enjoyed a musical since the original production of Annie, but I actually watched it this week and I sort of loved it. Dammit.

The world would be a better place if: …it was run by Ellen DeGeneres, Joel McHale or Chelsea Handler. I will also add a caveat that the kids of My Super Sweet Sixteen and NYC Prep being sold to the Taliban would be an improvement as well. I’m convinced they’re the reason why terrorists hate us.

Her pop culture crushes are: They’ve evolved from Joshua Jackson as Pacey Witter to Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes), to Josh Holloway (Lost), and now to Matt Bomer (White Collar)  – but in my heart I’m still a Tim Riggins girl. I swear I watch most of my favorite shows for the leading men.

The show that never should’ve been cancelled: This one’s a throwback, but John from Cincinnati. HBO was onto something there…

She’ll never understand people who:…don’t like Johnny Drama on Entourage. Also, people who wear liquid black leggings.

She was bummed that: …my Yankees chose the year that I moved out of New York to win the World Series, and I missed it! Also, that the Real Housewives of Atlanta never revealed what’s really under Kim’s wig. I’d practically commit murder to see her real hair.

She’s often described as: …lacking a verbal filter. This tends to seep into my writing.

She’d love to see a reality show about: …my unemployed friends, they’re talented and amazing and yet everyone’s out of work. Or  maybe a show about someone who transitions from memorizing the faces in US Weekly to learning the names on Capitol Hill. I’ll let you know how that turns out.

To read Renata’s Articles, you have to make sure you visit Poptimal.com.

To Listen to Renata on Review of Extract on the Writer’s Arch.

It’s A Family Affair on Bones

Of course there’s another murder to solve, but this week for Booth and Brennan, the main source of conflict comes from the arrival of Booth’s grandfather Hank, out on the lam from the nursing home and complicating our favorite FBI agent Booth’s—and therefore Brennan’s—already packed lives. Hank is played by Ralph Waite, who will be remembered for being in The Waltons, but truth be told, my only previous exposure to him was watching him play father figures to Kevin Costner and Sylvester Stallone in The Bodyguard (1992) and Cliffhanger (1993), respectively. He did a very nice job in those movies and he does a very nice job here.

It’s a treat to have Hank on the show because it provides a stellar opportunity to learn more about Booth’s past and childhood and how he became the guy he is on the show today. Plus, Hank provides considerable comic relief and does his best to start pushing Booth and Brennan together, so he definitely gets a lot of points. A couple of moments with him are a little goofy and a little overdone, but all in all I think it was a good idea to bring the character on and David Boreanaz—who personally picked Waite for the part—made a strong choice.

As for the case: a body is found (actually the team discovers rather late that it was two bodies) burned to ashes in a bed by a seedy (is there any other kind?) realtor during a showing. It’s almost as disastrous as Joe Pesci trying to sell Danny Glover’s house in Lethal Weapon 3 (1992) after telling his prospective buyers that the house has been completely remodeled due to a drug dealer driving his car through it (that would be Lethal Weapon 1) and evil South African smugglers blowing up the upstairs bathroom (that would be Lethal Weapon 2). Booth thinks (or at least hopes with a juvenile grin) that the cause of death was spontaneous combustion, but Brennan thinks that’s absurd and raises her eyebrows and makes that face that only she can make.

At the lab, Clark, this week’s intern (again, why can’t they just pick one intern and make him or her permanent damn it! This is pointless!) discovers that the victim was a morbidly obese but relatively young woman, based on the indicators on her foot, the only part of the body not in ashes. So it would seem that the fat lady did not leave the building and now never will. They don’t have much to go on, but eventually Angela works her cyber artist voodoo magic dealio and determines that the victim was wearing a polyester vest that they then trace to a wholesale club. From there they can identify her, which they do, and that leads them into a weird and grotesque underground club/fetish/movement kind of thing involving skinny guys with a thing for feeding elephant girls. The victim was one of the aforementioned elephant girls, but then she lost a whole bunch of weight and switched sides to become one of the skinny people trying to feed fat guys. Where do they come up with this stuff? Don’t ask me.

But again, Hank is the real focus of the episode. He’s a handful and can’t take care of himself, and Booth can’t realistically take care of him either given his crazy job and busy life. But Booth doesn’t have the heart to not take him in because, after all, Hank is his grandfather. He’s also the guy who pretty much raised Booth and Jared after their alcoholic, abusive father walked out on them. Hank tells Brennan a little secret about why Booth’s father left and charges her with telling Booth eventually and being prepared to be there for him in the aftermath.

There are some very sweet, nicely done scenes in this episode. The only thing I was disappointed by was that Hank mentions that he used to be an MP—a military policeman. You know, like Jack Reacher. That makes sense given that Booth became both a military man and a policeman (FBI agent being a glorified policeman). So I thought that Hank would tag along on the case a little more and help them crack it and maybe kick some ass. But Waite just played him as this mild-mannered and requisitely crotchety old guy, and the writers didn’t give him anything cool to do. I guess I’m still in Gran Torino mode, but I guess it’s not fair to want every old guy to be as badass as Clint Eastwood (or Michael Caine in the upcoming Harry Brown, which I can’t wait to see). Performances are strong all around and I would welcome another visit from Hank down the line.

Season 5, Episode 8: The Foot in the Foreclosure (originally aired November 19, 2009)

For more on Bones, click here.

Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Project Runway: The t-shirt is just a metaphor…

And so it comes down to this: three young women, fashion designers all, fighting it out with needles for swords and ideas for firepower, on a battlefield called The Runway. There may be no blood, but there are definitely tears. And hurt feelings.

And so! We pick up where we left off, with CH sick. Two days left until Bryant Park and she’s a weakened, weepy wreck. Logan and Christopher take turns consoling her, and even Irina spares the snark. Because CH is horrifically miserable, and no one can argue that. It’s nice that no one insists on quarantining her, considering CH was deemed contagious less than 48 hours ago.

Hair and makeup consultations (again?) and separately, Irina and Barbie both request approximately the same style of make-up. It’s not until Tim Time that the two women learn that once again, they have similar aesthetics. Because Tim visited Irina first, it appears, conveniently, that Barbie is copying Irina. I wonder, meanwhile, if Tim knew this already and is taking advantage of Barbie and the situation – we never hear Tim discuss make-up choices, despite Lifetime’s attempt to highlight the models and Garnier. Or is it L’Oreal this season? See? I don’t care! Anyway, if Tim did know, that kind of makes Tim a jerk, doesn’t it? Wow, I feel like I just said something sacrilegious. I feel guilty already. Or maybe the producers set Tim up somehow, and they’re the jerks and Tim’s just a victim. That’s it.

Anyway, the implied accusation that Barbie is unoriginal and swiping ideas from Irina hits home and she tears up. Tim tells her to pull it together.

As for the thirteenth look, Barbie’s bringing back shoulder pads (why???), Irina’s created another hot little black number which I’m really digging, and CH creates a slate blue-ish draped goddess dress. I dig this as well, unsurprisingly. I dig just about everything CH creates.

The day before Bryant Park, CH wakes up feeling worlds better. Which is good, because everyone spends the day stressing out and rushing to complete their collection. Gordana remarks that the rushing, frenzied Irina is so stressed that she’s “not so cool today” to work with. No, Gordana, not just today. Irina’s always been like that, just not to you.

And then they’re up at the crack of dawn the next morning to swing by Bryant Park, stare in awe at the runway, and share a nice quiet moment before the chaos begins. The women prove to be terrible at time management – Tim “is about … to … lose it,” because the models aren’t dressed when they should be. “This is crazy!” I mean, he just looks like a curmudgeonly old man as he glares at them. Never fear, though! Each collection goes off on time, without a hitch.

So before, we touch on the collections, Heidi walks out on the runway to introduce the show and the judges (Kors, Garcia, and Suzy Menkes). Heidi wears a shiny, hot pink suit with capri pants and shoulder pads. Like, serious shoulder pads. If that look really does come back, I won’t shop again until it disappears. Who thinks shoulder pads are a good idea? (Aside from Barbie.)

Speaking of, she’s up first! She’s showing us “a piece of [her] soul,” and apparently, her soul is very old school sci-fi sportswear. In general, I think her collection isn’t breaking any new ground; hand-knit sweaters with oversized sleeves, tight shirts and skinny pants, simple jackets… while the tailoring and styling is very clean, the majority of her clothes you can find now (and at the time this was actually filmed). Her standout dress is the simple look we see every year, either during the finale or made at least once (or twice) during the season’s run. None of her looks stand out for me, and many of her clothes seemed too similar.

Next up: Carol-Hannah. Her look is very near and dear to her heart. She has a lot of shiny, satin-y material, also something we see every year (and all season long), but CH’s stuff is pretty. She has several pieces I really like – the opening dress, the long purple dress, the poofy bottom dress, her draped thirteenth look. There were a few misses here as well. I thought, overall, she wasn’t as creative as she could have been. But then, CH never really pushed the envelope all season.

Finally, Irina. Home is where the heart is, and her heart is in NY. The collection “is about what it takes to survive in the city as a woman, it’s about comforting and shielding yourself…” Bring on the armor and military inspired clothing! It’s all black, with a few pieces of gray and light brown knitted and faux-fur wraps. I found many of the looks to be impractical or too basic, but there were a number of really interesting pieces in the mix. My favorites are her thirteenth look and a few of her jackets. It was the most couture of the three. I liked the black, but many of the details were lost because of the lights – but then, Nina warned Irina about that (and reminds us that she warned her). Of note, she also has oversized sweaters with too long sleeves. I don’t get that look, but it must be in because she and Barbie use it.

Judging. Suzy Menkes is rocking this There’s Something About Mary hair, and it’s very distracting at first. But she’s about the sweetest lady in the world and has great comments, so it becomes easy to overlook.

Irina’s up first. Kors says that the Warrior Woman has been done before. Heidi thinks it looks finished and expensive, and Nina likes the creativity and intimacy of Irina’s t-shirts. However, Nina calls her out on sticking with so much black. Kors commends Irina’s styling choices from the hats to the bags, and Heidi says she’d wear a number of pieces from Irina’s collection.

Heidi loves CH’s thirteenth dress, impressed by how quickly and expertly CH pulled the look together. CH receives a number of compliments about different dresses, with Kors complimenting her ability to mix the structured with the drapery. As a giant negative, Heidi points out that the collection wasn’t cohesive.

Kors applauds Barbie’s use of sportswear; Nina likes the splashes of color that Barbie added. Kors also likes a pair of silk pants that she created (part of her thirteenth look – the judges are impressed). My problem with that praise is that I have a friend who bought very similar pants last season – there’s nothing that original about what she did. But you’d think she just reinvented pants and/or silk considering how much Kors loves them. Nina points out that the last three looks didn’t match the rest of the collection, and that maybe Barbie tried to “hit too many notes.”

Over deliberation, the judges add a few more comments. CH has impeccable tailoring and played with color the most – she could have pushed it farther, however. Barbie is “very plugged into the street,” and her pieces are very relatable. Unfortunately, the collection didn’t “tell a tale.” No one thinks as I do, that too much of it looked similar. Irina has edge, and put together the best “collection.” Her concept was creative, but her choice to do a gown seems forced.

Line them back up, and the first elimination: CH. My heart breaks. Mainly because, for the reasons stated above, she should have at least beat Barbie. If you could see me, I’m kicking my feet into the dirt like a child.

Between Irina and Barbie….drum roll…Irina wins! She immediately starts crying, and that’s kind of nice to see because the rest of the time Irina’s not human. Even the visit to her home last week felt like she was saying and doing everything that she was supposed to as opposed to it feeling natural. But just like there’s a soft, intimate t-shirt hidden underneath the hard, armored layers of Irina’s clothes, the soft side of Irina comes out from behind her emotional armor. We finally see her want the win, not feel that she deserves it. She was unpleasant through most of the season, but I have no problem with Irina’s win – she’s created some stunning pieces and absolutely presented the stronger  collection today.

Heidi invites Irina’s family out, and we see her dad crying because he’s so happy. Well, I think we can end this season and this review with me admitting that her father’s tears had me reaching for a tissue.

All in all, a season with a lot of talent – a lot of similar talent, but still a lot of talent. No one pushed any of the challenges as far as they could have, but we still saw a few amazing looks. Some of the personalities were boring, but there was Irina and Nicolas and Johnny crying. Remember him? Good times. Despite the season being a little lackluster, I did enjoy it, like the way I enjoy candy. It tastes good and it’s fun while it lasts, but just while it lasts. When the episode was over, Project Runway was easy to forget, but it was fun while it was on.

A lot of fun, yes, but no Season 2. Then again – I don’t think we can ever strike that magic twice.

Until next season, make it work!

Season 6, Episode 14: Finale Part II  (originally aired November 19, 2009)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime

The Office: Michael Being Michael

This episode followed the cookie cutter prototype for The Office: Michael gets all jazzed up about something (the shareholder’s meeting), which turns out to be way less awesome than he believes; as a result, he ultimately creates chaos (re: insulting important people, stealing a limo). We’ve seen this recipe time and time again–essentially for every holiday, birthday, or special occasion ever included in the show. And yet, it works.

If there are three things people love year round, they are Rainn Wilson, absurd costumes, and recycling. Therefore, audiences must have loved the intro to this week’s episode, which featured Dwight dressed up as “Recyclops”–the office’s Recycling Day mascot who has evolved into a cold-hearted villain wanting to destroy the planet. Probably one of the best intros we’ve seen this season. To keep the momentum going, the gang needed a pretty spectacular plot to follow, and for the first time in a while, they pulled through.

Michael is honored to be invited to the Dunder Mifflin Shareholder’s Meeting. A limo shows up in Scranton, and everyone beams with jealousy. Oscar mumbles about corporate wasting money on frivolous things, saying that DMI should really stand for “Dummies, Morons, and Idiots.” But still, when Michael offers to take up to 8 employees with him for a ride, Oscar jumps at the chance. In the limo, Michael, Oscar, Dwight, and Andy have a marvelous time, which will contrast with the boo-ing they experience at the meeting. It hadn’t really occurred to Michael that with the company on the verge of bankruptcy, he would not exactly be cheered.

Back in Scranton, Jim feels he’s losing control of the office: Ryan plays tetris on his computer and Phyllis takes a 2 hour lunch break to get drunk with Bob Vance. Jim soon finds that Ryan has been spreading rumors that he is not a real boss and doesn’t have the power to fire people. Jim isn’t sure if he can actually fire people, but decides to take action by moving Ryan’s desk into the closet so he can finish some data entry. You tell ‘em, Jim.

At the shareholder’s meeting, Michael meets the Dunder Mifflin CEO, Alan Brand, and former Congressman, Chris O’Keefe. After receiving a less than warm welcoming, Michael tells shareholders he has a “45 day plan” to get the company back on track. They cheer for him and he does a sweet spin move on stage before exiting. Brand and O’Keefe are not happy with Michael, echoing David Wallace’s sentiments that there is no plan for recovery. Michael calls up Oscar, hoping he will be able to work out something along the 45 day route; Oscar looks humiliated and scurries out of the room. After the Congressman calls Michael a “moron,” he runs off, grabs Andy, Dwight, and Oscar, steals a bottle of liquor and hops the limo back to Scranton. Just Michael being Michael…

Season 6, Episode 10: Shareholder Meeting (Originally aired November 19, 2009)

For more on The Office, click here.

Thursdays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC, Justin Lubin

Glee: Let’s Sing About Our Feelings

This week may not have been the most exciting episode of Glee, but we did get a surplus of facial expressions that would make Jake Gyllenhaal’s Oscar snapshots look normal.   Mr. Schuester decides to pair up the group and have each couple sing a ballad that expresses their feelings accurately.  One by one, the fates decide each pairing as names are chosen from a hat.  Mr. Schu gets stuck with Rachel who suggests they perform a rendition of Endless Love to demonstrate the essence of a ballad.  Rachel subsequently reveals her best attempt at crazy eyes – that 17-year-old schoolgirl in love with her teacher look – while Schu wards off her advances with some of his own ‘what the hell is going on’ type looks.

After Rachel gives Mr. Schu a tie as a gift, we get a little background into the story of Suzy Pepper, the awkward girl at school complete with just about every nerdy accessory sans the wiring for her teeth.  After spending some quality time stalking Mr. Schuester and calling his house in the middle of the night, Schu finally tells Suzy that there cannot be anything between them.  Suzy then takes action in the only possible way – by eating the hottest pepper around thus burning holes in her esophagus.  In order to escape the past repeating itself, Schu mashes up Young Girl and Don’t Stand So Close to Me to perform for Rachel while Emma tags along to explain any confusion behind his message.  Unfortunately, Emma spends the length of the song with a limp jaw (Maybe a bit of drool?) and eyes wider than this little guy proving to be essentially useless.

The next couple is Finn and Kurt.  If we thought Rachel had some crazy facial distortions, Kurt’s uncomfortable staring at Finn is twice as difficult to watch.  We begin to really feel the conflict that Finn feels (Who knew the kid had genuine feeling within?) in not telling both his and Quinn’s parents about the pregnancy issue.  Although I wouldn’t say that it is under his own terms that Finn lets his own mother know about what is going on (Really, man? Caught singing to a sonogram on your computer? There is so much I could say to that kid, but it would almost certainly become more inappropriate than Kurt’s dreams), he does decide, with the support of Kurt, to tell Quinn’s parents.

It is during a small dinner with Quinn and her parents that Finn decides to bust out Paul Anka’s (a little too literal?) title Having My Baby.  It seems that awkward moments became the common theme of this particular episode of Glee.  Watching Quinn’s father slowly realize the message behind the song is priceless.  It’s like a Catholic father realizing his daughter, the celibacy club president, is pregnant (Oh…Wait…).  Quinn’s mother, the typical Stepfordy wife, is unable to backup her daughter when her overbearing daddy decides to throw Quinn out of the house.  More to come with the hot tub couple to come…

Terri, unfortunately, gets her five minutes of irritating airtime as she does her best to take advantage of the naiveté of Rachel by allowing her to cook and clean.  While driving Rachel home, Schu quickly cuts off Rachel from singing Crush. (I’m thinking that producers began to realize that enough was enough for awkward situations and even more awkward facial expressions.

Eventually we learn that the group is going to sing for Quinn and Finn to show their support, which turns into a solid routine (Mainly by Artie) of Lean On Me.  However, what was really eye opening was the fact that Puck revealed to Mercedes that he was the real father.  But Mercedes reacts like it is just another piece of Glee Club Gossip and suggests he keep it to himself because Quinn has chosen Finn.  Ummmm does anyone else think that advice like that is more immoral than Sue’s Cheerios workout or what?

Can somebody tell me when “the other Asian kid” (Mike Chang) going to get his shining moment?

For another take on this episode, check out It’s Just a Little Crush (On Glee) by Alyssa Martino.

Season 1, Episode 10: Ballad (originally aired November 18, 2009)

For more on Glee, click here.

Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Supernatural: The Gates of Hell Open

It seems that a whole lot of nothing happened real fast in this week’s episode of Supernatural. Well I can’t there wasn’t any plot development or surprises at all, but I was expecting a little more action from another encounter with Lucifer. It looks like we’re all just going to have to wait until January to get to the good stuff.

The opening scene begins with an old business man who’s made a deal with a demon to pull his company out of some financial difficulty. The old man was expecting a woman, but when Crowley shows up demanding a kiss, two guys smooched instead. I guessing the demon enjoyed seeing the human squirm and be thoroughly uncomfortable. We learn from the last episode that Crowley is in possession of the Colt because Bela (from Season 3) had apparently gave it to him and not Lilith.

Sam and Dean enter Crowley’s large mansion with Jo’s damsel-in-distress act where they meet the demon who kills off two of his own with the Colt. He claims that he wants the brothers to send the devil back to hell because of survival. Apparently, Lucifer has no real interest in his creation except as servants to do his bidding. Once humanity is wiped out, Crowley believes his kind is next. So he easily hands over the gun to Sam and also gives them more ammunition. Then he tells them to head to Carthage, Missouri, because Lucifer is taking care of business there. This scenario was entirely too convenient. Even Sam and Dean wondered if it was a trap because it was too easy. But it’s exactly what we get and Crowley’s purpose was to just provide a way for the Winchesters to have some sense of a plan. The preview from last week hinted that the entire new episode would be all about Crowley; instead we only see his character at the very beginning. It was disappointing. While his motivations are proven right later on in the show, his delivery of it to Sam and Dean was pretty weak.

The next scene features Castiel, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Sam and Dean spending the night together before the hunt for Lucifer. Dean stays true to character as he hits on Jo under the guise of “It’s our last night on earth…” and is promptly rejected. The group takes a photo together and it’s meant to pull at the heart strings because of the serious job they must do tomorrow, but it falls short as the set-up feels rushed.

The group sans Bobby heads over to Carthage where the town looks completely deserted. In an unexpected twist, Castiel declares there are dozens of reapers just standing everywhere. This is our first hint that something is going down in this Missouri town.  As our angel goes to investigate, he becomes trapped around a holy ring of fire by Lucifer whose vessel seems to be physically deteriorating. He tries to convince his brother to join his side because they were both cast out of heaven and ultimately if he loses the next target will be Castiel.

Meanwhile Sam, Dean, Jo and Ellen run into Meg and a group of hell hounds. Hell hounds are apparently vicious and invisible. After saving Dean from the fate of doggy chow, Jo is mortally wounded as the group retreats to a hardware store. They then try to figure out what to do next by contacting Bobby through a CB (citizens’ band) radio. It seems that Lucifer is re-enacting an ancient ritual to summon Death in the field where the Battle of Carthage happened in 1861 during the American Civil War.  In a touching mother-daughter scene, Ellen and Joe sacrifice their lives to give Sam and Dean a chance to get away. The hardware store is rigged to explode as the hell hounds are allowed in, buying the Winchesters some time to get to the field.

Castiel in the meanwhile is able to escape by using Meg as a literal bridge so he can crossover the holy fire. The female demon seems completely oblivious that Lucifer doesn’t really give two cents about her and her face.

Back at the field we come upon Lucifer scooping dirt up with a shovel with the town’s men standing nearby like zombies. Sam makes his presence known and engages in a decoy conversation with him. Dean makes his surprise entrance and shoots the angel in the head at point blank range. There’s a moment of relief as Lucifer crumples to the ground. It seems too good to be true because it is; moments later he gets back up and says, “Ow! Where did you get that?” Both brothers stare in confusion and shock as Dean is knocked into a tree.

Lucifer then clarifies that there are only five things that the Colt can’t kill, he just happened to be one of those. He excuses himself and continues with the ritual.  Sam, previously just standing there, rushes to his brother nearby. It turns out that the women and children were all killed and the men were given to the demons for temporary occupation. As Lucifer asks the men to repeat after him they start dropping to the ground, one by one like flies.

“What? They’re just demons…” the angel shrugs nonchalantly as even Sam is shocked and appalled.

As Lucifer greets the now risen Death, Castiel comes to rescue the brothers and they disappear.

The title for this week is “Abandon All Hope”, which comes from Dante’s Divine Comedy as inscripted in the gates of Hell.

Through me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.

Justice the founder of my fabric mov’d:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.

Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.

Such characters in colour dim I mark’d
Over a portal’s lofty arch inscrib’d:
Whereat I thus: Master, these words import.

It’s a nice reference to the gates of Hell essentially opening up with Death’s arrival on earth.

This episode went by surprisingly quick. We’re left with two more deaths and now an even more depressing situation as Sam and Dean don’t know what to do next. It seems like their last chance just evaporated now that the Colt is useless. Will they accept their roles as vessels and duke it out?

We’ll just have to patiently wait till next year to find out.

Season 5, Episode 10: Abandon All Hope (Original Air Date November 18, 2009)

For more on Supernatural, click here.

Thursdays at 9/8C on The CW

Photographs courtesy of IMDb Pro

Fringe Season: Who Observes The Observers?

Prominently featured in a small handful of season 1 episodes and easter egg featured in the background of many more, The Observer is far and wide the coolest, strangest, and most mysterious figure in ever growing Fringe lore. The bald retro suited semi-psychic always seems to show up when something weird is going down and we’ve never known why. Until now?

A man bearing unmistakable resemblance to the figure we’ve come to know and be mystified by watches a young woman in the park. But surprise surprise, it’s not the Observer previously seen, but clearly someone in the family tree. This one has his fancy binoculars set on kidnapping, car theft, and assault with an otherworldly stun gun – all in broad daylight . Oh, and he starts the car with a glowing thumb.

Liv’s enjoying a morning with her adorable niece when news of the abduction sadly cuts playtime short. Walter’s quirky obsession of the week falls upon rediscovering the perfect milkshake recipe, and who’s got time to provide intel for a kidnapping when there’s important work like that to be done? Liv realizes something’s amiss when they find video of the crime revealing the alterna-Observer’s (we’ll call him O2 for short) presence and the stunning image of the freakshow Kojak catching a bullet with his bare hands.

Peter finds a trace of blood in O2’s abandoned journal, the cryptic non-repeating contents of which baffle even linguistics expert Astrid. She finds a nerd at Massive Dynamic with Observer fever who might have leads on the lingo, but instead reveals some hardcore mind blowing exposition about the Observers: they’ve been doing their thing since damn near the dawn of time, popping in and out of history to keep an eye on mankind’s most crucial moments and probably don’t experience the passage of time like the rest of us. The familiar Observer (we’ll call him O1) takes a meeting with still more colleagues who explain that the girl O2 saved was meant to be on a flight doomed to crash, so they hire a low rent hitman to fix the violated rules of disinterested spectating they seem so committed to.

Pete & Liv discover that O2 has had a curiously protective relationship with his kidnappee since observing the death of her parents at the hands of the ’89 San Francisco earthquake and he’s not about to let her die. Astrid find the crime scene trace to be not blood, but rather the hot sauce Observers love so much. And wouldn’t ya know, it just so happens to be an especially rare and traceable variety. The path of pickled peppers leads Fringe Division to the assassin’s crib, but he gives Peter the slip.

Back at the Observer powwow, O2 defends his actions, but O1 says they’ve only ever interfered in history when they’d caused the problem in the first place, like when he rescued Walt & Peter from death in a frozen lake some 20 years ago. Later, O2 calls Walter to a meeting, the location of which he’d imbedded in his codes. Walter assumes he’s there to be punished for kidnapping Peter from the Other Side, but he just wants help saving Christine and needs the advice of someone who never bothers thinking anywhere near the box. He suggests a course of action that would force Christine’s life to bear the relevance to future events that he sensed and saved her for.

O2 has a showdown with the hitman who seems hopeless against the power to glimpse the near future, but as part of a twistedly logical master plan, O2 lets himself be shot thus granting Christine the strange but life saving designation of First Person to Bring About An Observer’s Death. Just when I was starting to like the guy. Pete and Liv take out the assassin thanks to Pete’s quick trigger finger on the Observer zap gun, and in the aftermath O1 sneaks in undetected to spirit away his fading crony. O2 lives long enough to offer a deeply moving soliloquy on developing feelings for the first time and feeling a fatherly love for Christine. Props to all parties involved for creating a moment of simultaneous total weirdness and sentimental gut punch.

Before finally giving her niece the family time she deserves, Liv learns during a debrief that no one other than Peter has been able to make the Observers’ gun fire. I guess there are just some talents you cling to when you unknowingly hail from another dimension.

Season 2, Episode 8: August (originally aired November 19, 2009)

For more on Fringe, click here.

Thursdays at 9/8C, Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Glee: It’s Just a Little Crush (On Glee)

Prior to this episode, a friend told me she had a feeling that this week would really epitomize and stretch the weirdness that is Glee. With previews displaying Terri’s return and Rachel hitting on Mr. Schu, this was perhaps no huge secret. The only real disappointment was that we only got a small taste of Rachel singing Jennifer Paige’s “Crush.”

I particularly loved this episode’s use of broader concepts, like music as self-expression and life as imperfect. Will instructs the club to pair off (as pulled from a hat) and sing ballads to one another–what he explains as “stories set to music.” When Rachel and Will are paired together, she quickly offers them for a demonstration, belting out a rather sexually charged version of the famous duet, “Endless Love“–at least on her end.

As if this show didn’t already have enough characters, there’s a new kid on the block: Susie Pepper, an old student of Will’s who developed a major school girl crush on him. His memory of her is sparked when Rachel gives him a gold star tie, similarly to Susie’s gift of a tie decorated with peppers. In school years past, when Will tried to let Susie down gently, she retaliated by eating the “world’s hottest pepper,” which burned holes in her esophagus and put her in a medically induced coma for days. I understand the need for guest characters to move the plot along, and while Susie’s story was hilarious, it also seemed unnecessary. Also, she creeped me out; never trust anyone with the last name “Pepper.”

This episode also subtly confirms that Emma is still in love with Will when she tries to help him communicate his feelings to Rachel via (you’ll never guess!) music. Will sings Rachel a mash-up of “Young Girl” and “Don’t Stand So Close To Me.” Emma nods in approval at the end of the medley, saying “Bravo,” and totally neglecting Rachel, who doesn’t seem to have picked up on Will’s very obvious messaging.

Kurt and Finn have also been paired up, and Kurt urges Finn to express his feeling for Quinn and the baby through ballad as well. Finn’s mom also sees Q’s sonogram, but is pretty cool about the whole thing. This episode, however, serves as a reminder that parents–though seemingly disposable in the Glee world–still exist, and like all adults or humans, are varying degrees of flawed.

At dinner with Quinn’s parents, Finn decides to reveal the truth (also through ballad), singing Paul Anka’s “You’re Having My Baby.” Finn’s father flips out and kicks her out of the house. We also learn that Q believes her mom knew about the pregnancy and had kept her mouth shut, afraid of what her husband would do. These fictional parents need to get a grip! Luckily, Finn’s Mom immediately agrees to take in Quinn. It also looks like Puck is out of the picture, as he admits to Mercedes that he is the baby’s real father. She promptly puts him in his place, saying that Quinn chose Finn and he should respect that decision–he is distant for the rest of the episode, which seems to imply he will.

Susie Pepper is apparently Rachel’s new therapist, telling her that she is only after Mr. Schu because he is unattainable, reinforcing her conviction that she is not worthy of being loved. Rachel–who has already shown up at Will’s house and been made a bathroom slave by the evil Terri–finally realizes the error of her ways. To make up for it, she brings Will flowers and a note: “Sorry for acting crazy.”

Kurt wants to sing “I Honestly Love You,” to Finn, because he honestly does, but Mercedes and the rest of the gang have already planned their uprising against ‘Baby Gate.’ In a great scene, the Gleeks sing “Lean On Me” to Finn and Quinn to show their support–kind of corny but enjoyable.

To recap: Rachel falls for Mr. Schu but a weird girl named Susie saves the day; news of the pregnant Cheerio captain reaches the land of adulthood and ignorance; and Terri continues to treat people like dirt while Will is an attention-whore. In the absency listings this week are Sue, Ken Tanaka and last week’s prominently featured Artie (who did, however, have a great solo in “Lean On Me”).

For another take on this episode, check out Let’s Sing About Our Feelings by Matthew Turnier.

Season 1, Episode 10: Ballad (originally aired November 18, 2009)

For more on Glee, click here.

Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

The Vampire Diaires: Turning Point to the Same

I’m not sure if it’s because we are in the midst of November sweeps or because a certain other romantic vampire franchise released its latest installment this week, but The CW had been promising that The Vampire Diaries would be really explosive this Thursday with an episode blatantly titled, “The Turning Point.” Was it? Not really. But before I get into a description of the plot and the episode’s overall quality, can I mention how irritatingly brief each segment between commercial breaks was on this episode? There was seriously a commercial break every five minutes! I know they gotta pay the bills, but this was ridiculous.

Sorry. I had to let it out . . . Anyway, when we left them last week, Stefan and Damon Salvatore were getting ready to ditch town and stop putting the innocent civilians of Mystic Falls at risk, but Logan has shown back up in full vampire mode and is on a bit of a killing spree. Stefan and Damon couldn’t very well leave with a murderous vampire still in town so the hunt is on to find him. Logan manages to kidnap Caroline in an attempt to get revenge on her mom, the sheriff, but a valiant rescue by the Salvatore Brothers puts a stop to that fairly quickly. Stefan takes Caroline to safety while Damon stays behind to finish off Logan and figure who turned him into a vampire in the first place. Just as he is about to bash Logan’s head in with a tire iron though, they make a deal to meet at the mysterious church in the woods where Logan promises to reveal his secret.

Before Logan and Damon get a chance to meet up, the mysterious new teacher in town shows up and puts a stake in Logan’s heart thus killing off yet another character really quickly. I honestly thought he’d be around for awhile but as they say – easy come, easy go!

Meanwhile, Stefan and Elena, who have been on again, off again every episode since the show began, have a moment after he gets Caroline home safely. Elena confesses her love for him and the two proceed to have sex in a scene that features every cliche sex scene shot that you’ve ever seen. Episode director, J. Miller Tobin, could have certainly broken new ground with even just the slightest hint of imagination, but I suppose cliche is just what we have to accept.

Post coitus, Elena finds an old picture of Stefan’s great love, Katherine, and naturally freaks out when she notices that it looks just like her. But rather than talk it over with Stefan she bails and on the drive home hits a shadowy figure standing in the middle of the road. Her car flips over and she remains conscious to see the figure pull himself off the ground in mint condition and walk towards the car. And just as we’re about to see who it is . . . the episode ends! And guess what: the show will be in reruns until January so let the rampant speculation begin! I have my money on it being either Alaric, the mysterious school teacher, or the creepy Mayor of Mystic Falls (Robert Pralgo), but this show has proven to be a bit unpredictable, so your guess is as good as mine.

Overall, this episode was a bit of a letdown. The network promised epic changes and revelations but I feel that we got neither. There were also some very tedious scenes with minor characters that ended up carrying no weight at all and seemed to act only as filler for the handful of other scenes where things actually happened. The series as a whole remains very hit or miss for me personally. I still think it maintains promise but if they don’t wow us when the show returns with new episodes this winter, the bloom could be off the rose very quickly, which is a shame because the Twilight series already has a corner on the boring market.

For another take on this episode, check out Vampires, Witches, and… Werewolves? by Carekee Fung.

Season 1, Episode 10:  The Turning Point (originally aired Nov. 19, 2009)

For more on The Vampire Diaries, click here.

Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW and Quantrell Colbert

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