Project Runway: The t-shirt is just a metaphor…

And so it comes down to this: three young women, fashion designers all, fighting it out with needles for swords and ideas for firepower, on a battlefield called The Runway. There may be no blood, but there are definitely tears. And hurt feelings.

And so! We pick up where we left off, with CH sick. Two days left until Bryant Park and she’s a weakened, weepy wreck. Logan and Christopher take turns consoling her, and even Irina spares the snark. Because CH is horrifically miserable, and no one can argue that. It’s nice that no one insists on quarantining her, considering CH was deemed contagious less than 48 hours ago.

Hair and makeup consultations (again?) and separately, Irina and Barbie both request approximately the same style of make-up. It’s not until Tim Time that the two women learn that once again, they have similar aesthetics. Because Tim visited Irina first, it appears, conveniently, that Barbie is copying Irina. I wonder, meanwhile, if Tim knew this already and is taking advantage of Barbie and the situation – we never hear Tim discuss make-up choices, despite Lifetime’s attempt to highlight the models and Garnier. Or is it L’Oreal this season? See? I don’t care! Anyway, if Tim did know, that kind of makes Tim a jerk, doesn’t it? Wow, I feel like I just said something sacrilegious. I feel guilty already. Or maybe the producers set Tim up somehow, and they’re the jerks and Tim’s just a victim. That’s it.

Anyway, the implied accusation that Barbie is unoriginal and swiping ideas from Irina hits home and she tears up. Tim tells her to pull it together.

As for the thirteenth look, Barbie’s bringing back shoulder pads (why???), Irina’s created another hot little black number which I’m really digging, and CH creates a slate blue-ish draped goddess dress. I dig this as well, unsurprisingly. I dig just about everything CH creates.

The day before Bryant Park, CH wakes up feeling worlds better. Which is good, because everyone spends the day stressing out and rushing to complete their collection. Gordana remarks that the rushing, frenzied Irina is so stressed that she’s “not so cool today” to work with. No, Gordana, not just today. Irina’s always been like that, just not to you.

And then they’re up at the crack of dawn the next morning to swing by Bryant Park, stare in awe at the runway, and share a nice quiet moment before the chaos begins. The women prove to be terrible at time management – Tim “is about … to … lose it,” because the models aren’t dressed when they should be. “This is crazy!” I mean, he just looks like a curmudgeonly old man as he glares at them. Never fear, though! Each collection goes off on time, without a hitch.

So before, we touch on the collections, Heidi walks out on the runway to introduce the show and the judges (Kors, Garcia, and Suzy Menkes). Heidi wears a shiny, hot pink suit with capri pants and shoulder pads. Like, serious shoulder pads. If that look really does come back, I won’t shop again until it disappears. Who thinks shoulder pads are a good idea? (Aside from Barbie.)

Speaking of, she’s up first! She’s showing us “a piece of [her] soul,” and apparently, her soul is very old school sci-fi sportswear. In general, I think her collection isn’t breaking any new ground; hand-knit sweaters with oversized sleeves, tight shirts and skinny pants, simple jackets… while the tailoring and styling is very clean, the majority of her clothes you can find now (and at the time this was actually filmed). Her standout dress is the simple look we see every year, either during the finale or made at least once (or twice) during the season’s run. None of her looks stand out for me, and many of her clothes seemed too similar.

Next up: Carol-Hannah. Her look is very near and dear to her heart. She has a lot of shiny, satin-y material, also something we see every year (and all season long), but CH’s stuff is pretty. She has several pieces I really like – the opening dress, the long purple dress, the poofy bottom dress, her draped thirteenth look. There were a few misses here as well. I thought, overall, she wasn’t as creative as she could have been. But then, CH never really pushed the envelope all season.

Finally, Irina. Home is where the heart is, and her heart is in NY. The collection “is about what it takes to survive in the city as a woman, it’s about comforting and shielding yourself…” Bring on the armor and military inspired clothing! It’s all black, with a few pieces of gray and light brown knitted and faux-fur wraps. I found many of the looks to be impractical or too basic, but there were a number of really interesting pieces in the mix. My favorites are her thirteenth look and a few of her jackets. It was the most couture of the three. I liked the black, but many of the details were lost because of the lights – but then, Nina warned Irina about that (and reminds us that she warned her). Of note, she also has oversized sweaters with too long sleeves. I don’t get that look, but it must be in because she and Barbie use it.

Judging. Suzy Menkes is rocking this There’s Something About Mary hair, and it’s very distracting at first. But she’s about the sweetest lady in the world and has great comments, so it becomes easy to overlook.

Irina’s up first. Kors says that the Warrior Woman has been done before. Heidi thinks it looks finished and expensive, and Nina likes the creativity and intimacy of Irina’s t-shirts. However, Nina calls her out on sticking with so much black. Kors commends Irina’s styling choices from the hats to the bags, and Heidi says she’d wear a number of pieces from Irina’s collection.

Heidi loves CH’s thirteenth dress, impressed by how quickly and expertly CH pulled the look together. CH receives a number of compliments about different dresses, with Kors complimenting her ability to mix the structured with the drapery. As a giant negative, Heidi points out that the collection wasn’t cohesive.

Kors applauds Barbie’s use of sportswear; Nina likes the splashes of color that Barbie added. Kors also likes a pair of silk pants that she created (part of her thirteenth look – the judges are impressed). My problem with that praise is that I have a friend who bought very similar pants last season – there’s nothing that original about what she did. But you’d think she just reinvented pants and/or silk considering how much Kors loves them. Nina points out that the last three looks didn’t match the rest of the collection, and that maybe Barbie tried to “hit too many notes.”

Over deliberation, the judges add a few more comments. CH has impeccable tailoring and played with color the most – she could have pushed it farther, however. Barbie is “very plugged into the street,” and her pieces are very relatable. Unfortunately, the collection didn’t “tell a tale.” No one thinks as I do, that too much of it looked similar. Irina has edge, and put together the best “collection.” Her concept was creative, but her choice to do a gown seems forced.

Line them back up, and the first elimination: CH. My heart breaks. Mainly because, for the reasons stated above, she should have at least beat Barbie. If you could see me, I’m kicking my feet into the dirt like a child.

Between Irina and Barbie….drum roll…Irina wins! She immediately starts crying, and that’s kind of nice to see because the rest of the time Irina’s not human. Even the visit to her home last week felt like she was saying and doing everything that she was supposed to as opposed to it feeling natural. But just like there’s a soft, intimate t-shirt hidden underneath the hard, armored layers of Irina’s clothes, the soft side of Irina comes out from behind her emotional armor. We finally see her want the win, not feel that she deserves it. She was unpleasant through most of the season, but I have no problem with Irina’s win – she’s created some stunning pieces and absolutely presented the stronger  collection today.

Heidi invites Irina’s family out, and we see her dad crying because he’s so happy. Well, I think we can end this season and this review with me admitting that her father’s tears had me reaching for a tissue.

All in all, a season with a lot of talent – a lot of similar talent, but still a lot of talent. No one pushed any of the challenges as far as they could have, but we still saw a few amazing looks. Some of the personalities were boring, but there was Irina and Nicolas and Johnny crying. Remember him? Good times. Despite the season being a little lackluster, I did enjoy it, like the way I enjoy candy. It tastes good and it’s fun while it lasts, but just while it lasts. When the episode was over, Project Runway was easy to forget, but it was fun while it was on.

A lot of fun, yes, but no Season 2. Then again – I don’t think we can ever strike that magic twice.

Until next season, make it work!

Season 6, Episode 14: Finale Part II  (originally aired November 19, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of Lifetime