Real Housewives of Atlanta: Reunion Madness

NeNe and Kim are friends again?! For real? Meh, I’m not buying it. This week’s reunion special dropped the ball in so many ways, and Kim and NeNe’s contrived (and for the cameras) claim that they buried the hatchet and are now on good terms is only the first questionable thing among many. So far this has been one of the more underwhelming reunions of all of the Real Housewives casts, with the exception of Kandi’s emotional conversation about her life after AJ’s death.

So, beginning with Kandi, let me just say this: I stand corrected, I no longer think she’s lame and boring. Kandi has turned out to be the most genuine and likeable one on this show. It took me a while to warm up to her, but after proving over the course of several episodes that she has a pretty good head on her shoulders, I recant and admit that I’m glad that she’s part of the cast. That said, it was very hard to watch her talk about learning of AJ’s death and how she dealt with it afterwards. You knew they weren’t going to avoid the topic, but I was hoping that they’d deal with it in a sensitive way, and they did. Kim’s incessant rubbing of her shoulders was even annoying to me, so I can only assume that Kandi was tempted to shrug the chick off while she cried – damn, Kim, back up and let somebody else have the spotlight.  Anyway I’ll say it one more time: Kandi, our hearts go out to you and to AJ’s family. Keep your head up.

Lisa brought absolutely nothing to the table on part 1 of the reunion, except to tell us that she isn’t pregnant at the moment. I’m kind of bummed actually, I’d like to see Lisa and Ed have another baby just to give them an actual purpose and storyline on the show. Oh, and whoever put together that little segment on their public (and private) displays of affection: you should get a promotion just for having to stare at footage of them making out in a hot tub, I shudder just thinking about it.

Sheree is a shameless narcissist, but we all knew that already. The viewer who called her out for being a closeted lesbian was actually really amusing, but Sheree didn’t seem to find the humor in the accusation. What’s the big deal Sheree? The fact that host Andy Cohen had to remind her that “there’s nothing wrong with that” was pitiful, tsk tsk Sheree. She also clarified the fact that her billboard-sized self portrait was classy and in good taste, dammit – she’s just understated and misunderstood – what’s wrong with you people? Perhaps the best line came when Andy asked her if the outfit she was wearing was She by Sheree and she admitted that it was actually Dolce & Gabbana. Hey, at least she knows real designers when she sees them.

That leaves us with NeNe and Kim. Oh lord, where to begin…

Apparently, like I said earlier, the two women who were last seen trying to tear each other limb from limb are now BFFs again – or at least on speaking terms. Neither of them would provide any details about how that reconciliation came about, probably because it’s a load of BS. Anyway, NeNe did talk about her stripper past and her meeting with her alleged biological father Alan. I’d recap what she said but I was too busy being distracted by her crazy new lopsided haircut. Then my attention shifted to Kim’s hairdo, which we all know to be part of her crazy wig line. I nearly fell out of my chair when Andy urged Kim to take her wig off and show us what her real hair looks like – obviously it will be a cold day in hell before Kim complies, but you had to give him credit for trying. In any case, Kim still thinks she’s drop dead gorgeous, an idea which was hammered home by another mini-segment comprised of Kim saying, “Damn I’m good looking” about ten million times into the camera.

Someone else who appears to be almost as into Kim as Kim is into herself is Big Papa, who dropped by for a surprise visit during the reunion show taping. This was perfectly timed considering that Kim has just explained that they were broken up and she was no longer wearing her “engagement” ring. She swore that she had taken the hard line with Papa and that she could live without him in her life, but she didn’t seem so adamant after his visit – Kim was practically starry eyed after their apparent off-camera make out session. After a bit of grilling about the kind of message she’s sending by dating a married man, Kim claimed that any man who spends 6 nights a week sleeping at her house couldn’t possibly have any kind of real marriage at all. Except, you know, the legally binding kind.

Next week we’ll see how part 2 of the reunion special shakes out. Kim must’ve had a few glasses of Chardonnay too many to have agreed to perform “Tardy for the Party” live – she does realize that Kandi’s producers can’t gloss it over this time, right? Get your ear plugs ready Housewives fans, this one’s going to be painful.

Season 2, Episode 14: Reunion Part 1 (originally aired October 29, 2009)

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Thursdays at 10pm on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Wilford Harewood