The Amazing Race: Sooo Kafka-esque

Kafka: Czech novelist who wrote in German about a nightmarish world of isolated and troubled individuals (1883-1924).  That pretty much sums up the show right now, yes?

First task is a Roadblock requiring a team member to enter a dark, depressing room full of ringing phones.  5 phones will say a letter when you pick up the receiver.  The letters are N-F-A-Z-R.  These letters form a word the team member must get to get out of there.  The task? Inspired by Kafka.

Now, to be fair, I don’t know if the clue says anything about Kafka, so maybe it’s not as completely obvious as it seems. Still, I’m not surprised when Meghan and Brian get it on their second tries.  However, Nathaniel, who got there third, can’t seem to get it.  He asks Dan if they can work together to come up with the word.  Dan says yes, but when he gets it before Nathaniel, Dan leaves, only telling the clueless Globetrotter that the word begins with an “F”.  Why?  Because there’s three teams left and helping others is stupid, Nathaniel.

Here’s what I think.  Nathaniel is a fun guy, an athletic guy, but puzzles are not his strong suit.  He didn’t ask Dan for help out of some misbegotten spirit of cooperation; he did it because he’s not good at puzzles and was looking for a get-out-of-it-card.  Dan didn’t give it to him, and good for him.

So Nathaniel gives up.  Yep, he gives up.  Just quits the task and takes the penalty.  A four hour penalty.

Seriously, are you kidding me?  I can’t believe he did that.  And I can’t believe that Herbert let him.  I’m not one for pushing the kind of verbal abuse that runs rampant on this show, but if there were ever a time to push your partner (encourage them, mock them, bribe them, harangue them, scream at them, whatever), it’s when you’re down to the final four, and your teammate just said he wants to take a four hour penalty.

Whatever, Globetrotters. I’ve been feeling guilty for using your decidedly uncool real names this season, but I’m done with that now, cause that?  Was decidedly uncool.

Next task, the Kryocentrum. Teams must go into a room for two minutes in their skivvies that’s -180º C.  Blah, blah, blah cold.

Before Brian & Ericka get to the Roadblock, they have a Speed Bump which requires them to visit a bar and drink a shot of absinthe.  Luckily for Brian, the bar contains tons of scantily clad women writhing in place on all available surfaces, including the bar top.  It was around this time I really started wanting a shot of my own to get me out of this Kafka-esque episode.

Next task, Detour.  Legend v. Lager.  In Legend, the teams have to cover a golem figure with clay and then move it across town to a synagogue.  The golem is very large, and looks very heavy. Normally I would infer that it is extremely heavy because it incites Sam and Dan to bicker constantly during the task except. . .it’s Sam and Dan bickering.  They’d bicker if it were moving cotton balls.  They’d bicker if the task said to cover Hugh Jackman in clay and walk him to the pit stop.  It’s Sam and Dan, and bickering is what they they do. ‘Course, Meghan and Cheyne bicker too.  Cheyne yells, Meghan accuses him of yelling at her, and I begin wishing I’d bought that absinthe from Leopold Bros. back when I had the chance.

In Lager, the teams have to deliver 30 beers to people the show hired to play rowdy soccer hooligans in a bar. Brian & Ericka choose this task, and on their first trip carrying the beers to the bar, Ericka ends up dropping her tray and wanting to switch tasks.  She says “I am not willing to make it work” and I get a sudden flashforward of their divorce proceedings. Anyways, Brian talks Ericka into it, and they deliver the remaining beers, and, eventually, 24 more, while walking through the streets of the Czech Republic as people accost them, yell at them, and try to steal their beer.  (Phil warned us that the Czech Republic has the highest beer drinking per capita in the world.  People, they LOVE their beer.)  Ericka threatens the Czechs with bodily harm for touching her beer, which is kinda amusing.

As they deliver the last bottles, the sun comes up and the Globetrotters’ penalty is over.  Brian & Ericka get to the pit stop (third, behind Sam & Dan, who are behind Meghan & Cheyne).  Herbert & Nathaniel go to the next clue box which directs them to the pit stop and they are eliminated.

Man, I cannot believe they went out like that.  Can you?

For another take on this week’s episode, check out Wordplay Be Tough by Cameron Cubbison

Season 16, Episode 10: “It starts with an ‘F’.  That’s all I’m going to tell you” (originally aired November 29, 2009)

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of Larry D. Horricks, CBS