Real Housewives of Orange County: No Boys Allowed

How do you spoil a perfectly good “ladies only” weekend? Inviting the husbands is a pretty good start, especially when the husbands in question are misogynistic cavemen like Simon and Jim. And don’t even get me started on Slade…

What started out as Vicki’s well-intentioned girls’ trip turned into an environment so toxic it actually made me feel badly for her when all was said and done. If Vicki thought that taking a tour of the alligator-infested waters of the Everglades was hostile, it was nothing compared to having cocktails with the husbands! There weren’t enough martinis in the entire state of Florida to diffuse the tension between Vicki and Simon, and when Slade spontaneously showed up to surprise Gretchen I thought Vicki’s head would actually explode. That would hardly have been the ugliest head-related drama of the scene, though, since only moments before the men showed up Vicki informed a heavily-medicated Lynne that after enduring her face lift she “didn’t look that much different.” Ouch. Damn, Vicki, she may be all hopped up on meds but even Lynne recognized how insulting that was, and she’s hardly the sharpest tool in the shed.

During their helicopter ride and tour of the Everglades, the women screamed at unnatural decibels, marveled at “Buddy,” their country-fied tour guide and made astute educational observations like, “Look at the balls on that thing!” Classy. Lynne had to miss out on part of the swamp fun (doctor’s orders), but she seemed pretty content to bond with her other friends, Percocet and Vicodin. Did I mention she admitted she apparently has an affinity for ‘shrooms? Lynne is getting more entertaining every week, I swear. Back at the hotel the ladies met up with Alexis and Jim, who came late to the trip. Alexis said she really needed the vacation since she was SO exhausted from being a mommy. Really? I could’ve sworn having an army of nannies left her plenty of extra time for manicures and spinning classes, but OK sure we’ll play along Alexis.

Vicki couldn’t handle feeling left out since the women ruined her trip by making it a couples’ weekend, so she decided to bow out of the late night cocktails and a sunset cruise. Of course, that opened the floodgates for the rest of the crew to verbally bash her, which was pretty low – even for them. Simon swears that Vicki is jealous of his relationship with Tamra – because, you know, there’s so much to be envious of there – while Jim thinks Vicki just needs to always be in control of the situation. Jeez, I wonder why no one likes a control freak…maybe Jim should give her tips on how NOT to be bossy, since he’s so open-minded himself (*insert sarcastic laughter*). It was pretty low that even after Vicki cried about having her feelings hurt by Simon and the other husbands, Tamra still continued to be a part of the verbal smack down all weekend.

Vicki even opted out of the sunset cruise because she felt so alienated. Who wants to be around those icky men anyway? Then Tamra proved what a loyal friend she is by continuing to sit by while Vicki got bashed by the group, and poor Lynne was left to be the world’s biggest 3^rd, er, 7^th wheel. Good thing she didn’t seem to notice, since once her pain medication kicked in she started having full-blown conversations with her imaginary husband and was basically on another planet. Alexis proved that she is a study in contradictions, as she wore a dress not much larger than a pot holder, but still seemed offended by Gretchen grabbing her own boobs and playfully stuffing her shirt. I know the ladies don’t always seem to like each other, but I have to agree with Vicki this week – crashing a vacation that was meant to be all female bonding just because you don’t trust your spouse to travel alone (my bad, because you’ll miss each other too much) is very uncool.

Looks like Vicki might get her wish for more girl time, however, since next week we see the wheels really start to fall off the sham, I mean marriage, between Tamra and Simon. All I know is that I’d love to see less of the husbands (and Slade), and more of Lynne in a narcotic state. Make it happen, Bravo.

For another take on this episode, check out Florid-blah by Liz Cooper.

Season 5, Episode 6: All Girls Weekend (originally aired December 17, 2009)

For more on The Real Housewives of Orange County, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Tony Avelar

Almodovar’s Latest Breaks Critical Embrace

I think it goes without saying that Pedro Almodovar has become one of the leading auteur directors of his generation. Each successive film is greeted with high anticipation and expectations of the quality that we have come to associate with his name. This is even more the case when the film in question features his frequent muse, Penelope Cruz. Three years have passed since their last collaboration (2006′s wonderful Volver) so the release of Broken Embraces has been cause for both celebration and anticipation.

I cannot claim to be an Almodovar expert or even one of his greatest fans so I can’t really say where Broken Embraces falls within the ranks of his entire career, but of his recent films from the past decade it unfortunately ranks close to the bottom. Now, don’t get me wrong – saying this is like saying a bowl of ice cream has some faults but it’s still pretty damn enjoyable despite them.

Broken Embraces (or Los abrazos rotos) takes us into the twisted lives of a blind filmmaker, his trusty production manager and her son, and a rich businessman who’s stunning, younger wife yearns to be an actress. The film opens in the present day as vivacious screenwriter and former director Harry Caine (Lluis Homar) learns of the death of Ernesto Martel (Jose Luis Gomez), a wealthy and powerful man in Madrid where most of the story’s action takes place. Harry initially brushes off the news but it is clear very early on that a connection to Martel exists and doesn’t necessarily include happy memories. Not long after hearing of the death, a mysterious young man (Ruben Ochandiano) shows up at Harry’s door wanting to make a film with the visually impaired artist despite his own lack of experience. We soon learn along with Harry that this mysterious young man is the son of Ernesto Martel and it triggers a series of flashbacks that make up the rest of the movie and take us back to the mid-90s when Harry still had his sight and was involved with Martel’s beautiful wife, Lena (Cruz) on the set of their movie Girls and Suitcases.

The relationships play out in a sort of tragic fashion mixed ever so carefully with Almodovar’s patented brand of humor. He even uses a musical score that hearkens back to Hollywood noir films of the 40s and 50s in a way that leads you to believe that the whole thing is meant to be satirical and unfortunately that’s where it starts to fall apart. Satire is fantastic and for most of the movie is played out excellently with a wonderful soap opera-esque and pulp feel, but in the film’s final act things take a turn for the serious and the work as a whole succumbs to an identity crisis. It suddenly became unclear if this was a drama, a comedy, or a genuine “feel-good” type of movie and as a result it lost most of its steam when it should have been picking it up.

The loss of momentum and uncertainty of tone only accentuated the fact that the film is a bit longer than it should be with a few spots that are blatantly dull. Broken Embraces is therefore a film about brilliant moments rather than being a completely satisfying whole. There are scenes and touches of undeniable charm along with fantastic character moments from both Cruz and Blanca Portillo as Harry’s loyal production manager and former lover. I can also not say enough about the wonderfully vibrant cinematography. The color red has never shined so brightly or looked so good and definitely plays a significant role in the film’s theme that will likely only be enhanced by repeat viewings. I’m not enamored with the film enough right now to take that closer look to see what Almodovar potentially hid under the surface but his most rabid fans will likely be pleased. I think I’ll just wait and see if he does better next time.

Grade: B

Zac Efron Versus Orson Welles

A couple of weeks ago I had covered what turned out to be a brief interview session with the cast (Zac Efron, Claire Danes) and director (Richard Linklater)of the movie Me and Orson Welles.  I talked with the group about how they would like their career to be remembered and, more importantly, how they would like their recently released Welles inspired film to be reviewed.  Since the movie is centered around the impending opening of Orson Welles’ 1937 play Julius Caesar, I thought this would be an appropriate way to link the actors to their actual work.  While they did mention pushing boundaries and staying ahead of the times, they also didn’t seem to have thought much about this question before I had asked it (Obviously none of them were expecting to be done any time soon) and in a way seemed more concerned with self-approval of their work; at least this was the impression Linklater gave off.  Well, after opening weekend I hope that these sentiments are still enjoyed.

The overarching plot of the film is fairly straight forward depicting The Mercury Theatre in all its struggles to put together an opening night as Orson Welles pisses off one person after another whilst defending his theatrical principle and individual dogma.  On the other hand, young Richard (Efron) manages to entangle himself in the bustle by fudging his own adeptness at playing the ukulele, develop artificial feelings towards a self-concerned assistant (Danes), and go toe to toe with Orson himself.

The acting itself was something that I found to be somewhat inconsistent.  Christian McKay gives an outstanding performance portraying the multiple layers that make up the man including an arrogant brute, a self-affirming womanizer, a theatrical renegade, and an entertainment genius.  However, this was only to be expected since McKay has played the character for a few years now and for this reason I find it difficult to bring myself to award more critical acclaim than he has already been presented with.  On the other hand, I found Efron’s character to lack a certain depth that left me wanting more from his performance.  Some people are suggesting his imminent leap from Disney heartthrob to respected leading man, but I would have expected a little more with such inferences – being likeable and an audience schmoozer can only take a character so far.

The true essence of the movie, however, lies in the messages it tries to convey.  For one, the combination of the story and the acting exposes just about every characters insecurities and doubts.  Despite each character at some point or another feeling vulnerable, the play ultimately makes it to opening night.  Is this implying that working past one’s insecurities is necessary to achieve success or is it a more straightforward suggestion in that everyone, no matter who they are, possesses certain some sort of anxiety in their life?  The characters also discuss the moral high ground on a couple of occasions, specifically in reference to telling Welles when he is wrong.  Apparently this is something that one simply does not do and, thus, the conflict between saving personal pride versus submitting oneself to the superciliousness of another for the purpose of maintaining his or her position.  While I could go on debating the different routes of each decision and the importance of personal preservation I will restrain myself, but merely suggest the importance of such a question.  And finally towards the end of the film, after Richard has been to the top of his performing career and his love life and then quickly let back down, he notes an important theme, especially for the younger generation; “It’s an exciting time because the best is all ahead of us”.  Personally, I found this to be a very relatable premise – connecting 1930’s attitudes to 2009/10 attitudes for young people – at a time when it is most essential to remember such an outlook.

SUNDAY, 20th (Week of Dec 20 – 26)

CHRISTMAS IN WASHINGTON: Luckily, this was pre-recorded and not affected by the Snowpocalypse of 2009. (8pm/TNT)

Nine is Fine

The much anticipated movie musical Nine left me wanting to give it an A for effort, but a C for everything else.

I wanted to love this movie. I wanted to leave the theater itching to buy the soundtrack on itunes and wanting to start dressing in vintage chic clothes. Instead, I left mysteriously underwhelmed and overwhelmed at the same time.

Let’s start with underwhelmed: the story. We have Guido who is an Italian filmmaker with some issues. Issue number one being that production on a new movie is about to start but he has no script. Issue number two, girls, girls, girls. Issue number three (due to the aforementioned issues) his emotional state, which really just makes a brilliant Daniel Day-Lewis into a dirty looking chain smoking creeper. Everyone loves Guido (save his wife, the luminescent Marion Cotillard aka Luisa): the journalist Stephanie (Kate Hudson), his muse Claudia (Nicole Kidman), his mistress Carla (Penelope Cruz) and his costume designer slash confidant Lilli (Judi Dench). I knew why I was supposed to love Guido, for his genius and his swagger, but I just couldn’t.

Now let’s go to overwhelmed: The musical numbers. There is surely going to be a lot of comparisons to director Rob Marshall’s hit and Oscar winner Chicago, and arguments over what went wrong with Nine or why musicals simply shouldn’t be turned into movies. The performances in Nine are great in that you have great actors singing songs on (really) elaborate stages, but aren’t great in that I can’t really remember any of them. Instead of weaving the songs into the fabric of the story, they take place in an alternate reality (a la Chicago), but it just isn’t sitting with me. They are sensational, but don’t add to the whole. They are great stand alone pieces if you love over the top shots with a lot a lot a lot going on. It overwhelms the senses in a way that adds to the experience of watching the movie, but takes away from the execution of the story. It all feels too disjointed, too removed from where we are supposed to be in 1960s Rome.

Even though Nine didn’t live up to my expectations, from the awesome movie trailer to the whole cast appearing on Oprah together a few months ago, I don’t know how it could be improved. I never saw the original on Broadway, but then again I have never seen Chicago in the theater either, but I know that was a better Rob Marshall effort. Whether it be the nature of the story or the songs that make up the musical, something just didn’t click with Nine on the big screen. The movie is saved by its insanely talented and well known cast, but can’t quite stay afloat on its own. I can’t decide whether I should tell musical lovers to see this movie or not, since it didn’t really feel like a musical but then I don’t know who would enjoy it. Check it out to see if it lives up to the hype, but I sadly report that it did not in my book.

For Additional Poptimal point of view check out Nine: Hits A Sour Note by Inisia Lewis and Nine: A Musical of a Different Color by  Matt DeGroot

MONDAY, 21st

BEYONCE: I AM…YOURS: A concert special. Changing the title from “I am…Sasha Fierce” to “I am…Yours” is incredibly cheesy. Does this mean we can buy a piece of Beyonce? I claim her jawline! (7:30pm/BET)

TUESDAY, 22nd

CHELSEA LATELY BLOOPERS SPECIAL: An entire half-hour of only bloopers seems like a bit much, but then again humans really love watching each other mess up. (10:30pm/E!)

WEDNESDAY, 23rd

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS: The original animated classic. For all you Grinches out there: have a look at this and let your heart grow a few sizes bigger, okay?  (8pm/ABC)

THURSDAY, 24th

“A CHRISTMAS STORY” 24-HOUR MARATHON: Whatever you do, do NOT stick your tongue to a lamp post. (TBS)

FRIDAY, 25th

ELF: Merry Christmas! Before you start heading to the mall tomorrow to return those unwanted gifts, put your feet up and have a laugh with this new holiday classic. (8pm/USA)

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