Real Housewives of Orange County: Florid-blah
December 20, 2009 by Liz Cooper
Filed under Television
Didn’t you hate that feeling as a kid when the weatherman would predict two feet of snow and all you got was rain? Same levels of disappointment with this week’s Real Housewives in Ft. Lauderfail.
The most drama during the trip came from Vicki, which at times was totally justified but continued to read as the irrational tantrums of a tween. Gretchen, Tamra, Simon, and Lynne (or at least Lynne’s version of a drugged up dummy) arrive in Ft. Lauderdale and everything is fine for the three minutes between the waiter taking a drink order and delivering it. Vicki seems to have come to terms with the fact that her girl’s weekend has turned into a husband tag along for Tamra and Alexis, until Slade turns up out of nowhere. Snap!
Vicki was okay that Simon and Jim invited themselves along on this trip without asking her, but Slade turning up was too much, as evidenced by the fake vomiting at his arrival. Slade is pretty stupid. Either this was his horrible idea, to show up on a trip that his archenemy planned, or he was easily swayed by the producers with a fresh can of moose. Slade showing up sufficiently pissed Vicki off to insure that she is going to be throwing a pity party for herself for the rest of the weekend. And I probably would too, but somehow because it is Vicki, I end up blaming her anyway for her own unhappiness.
The girls do get some alone time on a trip to the Everglades with their tour guide Bubba. Really? OK. The girls all react to every environmental or animal stimulus like they have never been outside before, but then again gyms are indoors so that statement might be true. Lynne clearly has no idea where she is for most of the trip and goes inside to rest her swollen face while Tamra, Vicki and Gretchen go on the airboat. Something about the setting or the proximity to Bubba or the excessive amount of rhinestones on Tamra’s and Vicki’s hats makes all of the girls seem trashier than normal on this outing. Miraculously, Gretchen and Tamra actually bond on this trip rather than throw one another overboard and this is exactly what Vicki had in mind of the weekend, awww.
Alexis, who has clearly wiggled her way out of her cage, greets the girls at the hotel bar. Vicki is already starting to hate Alexis a) because she took part in ruining her trip, and b) because she is a little princess. Judgments aside (buahaha who am I kidding), the girls all go to dinner for a little more estrogen time before the boys meet up with them. Alexis thinks that this is the best day since the invention of botox before their drinks arrive and everyone is confused, although no one is more confused than Lynne who probably can’t find her mouth at this point and definitely shouldn’t be drinking.
Vicki sulks off to her room after dinner when the rest of the girls meet up with their husbands and Slade at the club, and Tamra is drunk enough or dumb enough to start bad mouthing Vicki. If you close your eyes, you will be transported to your middle school cafeteria, ripping on whoever has left the table to get a jello pudding pack. These people seriously suck and I start feeling bad for Vicki again. Bravo, stop playing with my emotions like this!
Tamra feels guilty the next day for bad mouthing her BFF, so she takes Vicki to go get a manicure and we hear the line that posed as a preview for the drama to come in Florida as Vicki tears up that, “your husband looks at me with hate in his eyes!” All I can think is how awkward the staff feels. Vicki really is bummed and Tamra is too much of a pansy to deal with the problem so she just denies it. So when it comes time for the sunset cruise that Vicki planned, guess who doesn’t show? Tamra makes an ass of herself by getting on her knees begging Vicki to come, but if my company on a romantic cruise were couples and a stoned Lynne, I wouldn’t budge either.
So even though this episode didn’t give us any super drama than what wasn’t totally expected, I was surprised that I understood Vicki way too much this episode. She seemed almost rational and I felt bad for her. Can’t wait for that feeling to go away next episode.
For another take on this episode, check out No Boys Allowed by Renata Sellitti.
Season 5, Episode 6: All Girls Weekend (originally aired December 17, 2009)
For more on The Real Housewives of Orange County, click here.
Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo
Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Tony Avelar
I am not a big fan of Vicki however; I have to side with her on her feelings about the botched all girls weekend. I would not have gone on that boat ride either. She did the correct thing. Simon is a controlling idiot. He doesn’t like Vicki because she represents an independent woman. Simon doesn’t want his wife to be independent. He doesn’t want anyone but himself controlling Tamra. At least Tamra isn’t brainwashed. I can tell that she has it in her to be independent and come out from underneath Simon’s thumb. Alexis? Christian? yea right. She needs a break? She has a break. She has two nannies to take care of three kids. She already has a break. The reason why Alexis and Jim doesn’t travel without eachother is because they don’t TRUST eachother. Obvious by the way he acts and controls her and obvious by the way he was enjoying Gretches boobie padding show on the boat. Slade? Another joke. Gretchen just needs to get the heck away from him. Jo dumped him, his dating show bombed so he latches onto Gretchen to stay on TV.
KUDOS to the real men of orange county…..Don & Frank. Thank you for allowing your woman to have a life……for trusting them and having faith in them.
Alexis>>>>you are a stepford wife who is a bad name to real Christian people and you will bring down this show.
THE WRITER FOR THIS ARTICLE IS BRILLIANT…WHAT A HOOT.
Maybe if Vicki would stop trying to get the other women to have the same kind of relationship with their husbands as she does, she would be happier and the husbands would like her more. She should take her husband with her on trips and enjoy life. There comes a time when drinking and acting like a teenager gets old to do and old to watch. Everyone else isn’t trying to get away from their spouses but I think she enjoys acting single. She will lose her husband if she keeps it up. Maybe that what she really wants. Grow up Vicki! Being a working woman doesn’t give you the right to control everyone else!