The End of the Amazing Race

The latest edition of The Amazing Race has ended. I’m going to miss all the excitement, but I’ll handle it. We begin with Meghan and Cheyne (he needs to spell his name differently) opening a clue telling them to head to Las Vegas. I hoped that some ruthless Vegas loan shark would have taken them out just for sport, but no such luck.

Everyone’s first stop is the Graceland Wedding Chapel. Meghan and Cheyne wax about how they are the team to beat (and in this pathetic lineup, they’re right), while Brian and Ericka whine about being in last place and try to blame their own incompetence on Sam and Dan. Everyone gets to the chapel at about the same time and are sent to the next stop, Mandalay Bay. Mandalay Bay is where Stallone filmed the fight in Rocky Balboa. Man, I wished I were watching that movie instead of these clueless gigolos gallivant around the city.

Brian and Ericka inexplicably take the lead temporarily and face the first Roadblock: One team member must perform a face-first rappel down the side of the 600-foot high casino. Ericka gets strapped in just as Meghan & Cheyne arrive. Cheyne steps up to bat while Sam & Dan are having trouble finding the correct entrance to the casino. You know that Ericka is going to screw the pooch eventually and whine about it because hey…that’s what she does. As much as I don’t like him, Cheyne was afraid of heights but he at least stepped up and did what had to be done, rappelling with his eyes closed.

Brian and Ericka speed to the next clue at the Mirage with a tiny lead, with Meghan and Cheyne and Sam and Dan close behind. At the Mirage, teams have to strap one member to a bungee harness and propel them into the air to grab a bouquet suspended from the ceiling. Ericka gets strapped in (is Brian doing anything this week? Jesus) and starts struggling. Meghan & Cheyne follow, with Meghan strapping in, followed by Dan. Meghan gets the bouquet pretty fast while Ericka whines (I told you it was coming). She tells Brian she wants to switch. If I ran this show—and didn’t kill myself—I’d outlaw switching. No switching. You make a commitment and you finish it. Anyone who can’t do that should be automatically disqualified.

Meghan and Cheyne get the next clue, which calls for them to find the “Most Famous Casino in Monaco.” This is the Monte Carlo of course. You know, Monaco is the capital of the Monte Carlo province in the French Riviera, not that hard people. Dan gets the bouquet as Ericka continues to whine. She realizes that she is too weak (I could have told you that weeks ago) to pull Brian all the way to the floor and they have to switch again. Seriously? She even starts crying. What is with these people? Stop crying and move your ass, get it together. These people need to be smashed across the face with golf clubs.

Ericka finally grabs the bouquet while Sam & Dan and Meghan & Cheyne struggle to figure out the Monte Carlo clue. I didn’t think that clue was very hard, but maybe that’s just me. Sam and Dan take the lead and get to the Monte Carlo while Meghan and Cheyne waste oxygen at the Venetian. The challenge is to go to the poker room and count out exactly $1,000,000 in chips. Sam and Dan start grabbing the chips with the highest denominator. Finally Meghan and Cheyne get a clue and race to the Monte Carlo to catch up, now behind even Brian and Ericka. Now that’s saying something.

Even though they are starting considerably behind, Meghan & Cheyne work fast and catch up to the other teams. Everyone goes to present their chips at roughly the same time. The problem? Sam & Dan and Brian & Ericka can’t count, a recurring motif on this show. Meghan and Cheyne take the lead once more and the next clue takes them to the MGM Grand’s high roller suite. They meet Wayne Newton (what an unspeakable honor), who tells him that the finish line is at his house. Yeah, that might have been a dealbreaker for me.

Can you guess how it ends? That’s right, Meghan & Cheyne get to win more money than most people ever make in a lifetime. At least it’s over…until CBS decides to milk this train once more, which inevitably will be soon.

For another take on this week’s episode, check out Thank you, Thank you very much. by Alana D.

Season 16, Episode 11: Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound! (originally aired December 6, 2009)

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS