Top Chef: “I Just Don’t Want Bryan To Be Top Chef”

And so … It’s finale time! We have Bryan Voltaggio in one corner: older, wiser, more restrained (per brother, Michael: “conservative”), with incredible technique. In the other corner, we have Michael Voltaggio: younger, edgier, self-described risk-taker and closest Tony Hawk look-a-like. Finally, in the last corner of our Top Chef equilateral Triangle of Culinary Death, we have Kevin: southerner, beard aficionado, pork-lover and the King of Simple Food. It is a battle we saw coming from the very beginning, especially when Jennifer started to implode. In fact, one might call this, the finale, the only episode worth watching. Okay, last week wasn’t that bad either, but we knew it would come down to these three anyway, right?

For the final challenge, the chefs must cook a three course meal, with three hours of prep on the first day and three hours to cook on the day of service. First twist: the first course will use ingredients from a mystery box. I actually like this twist, as it should be a good measure of creativity and skill. Noted: none of the chefs share my enthusiasm. In the box are the following items: Pacific Rockfish, Dungeness crab, kabocha squash, meyer lemon, matsutake mushroom, and anise hyssop.

Second course is a dish of the chefs’ choosing, and the final course is dessert. It did not occur to Kevin to use his time off to perfect a dessert … just in case. I hate it when the contestants always gripe about cooking dessert and not having a strong one in their arsenal. You know this is a potential challenge, folks. Bryan feels every chef should have at least one pastry in his repertoire, and he hasn’t even met me and he’s awesome, ergo … I am awe– Okay, sorry. I’m on a lot of cold meds right now.

Second twist! The chefs will have two sous chefs – one to help with prep, and the other to help cook. Enter all of the eliminated contestants, including Jennifer, Robin, and Hector (my fave). The three finalists draw knives to find out who they are stuck with have the honor of cooking with, and we have: Bryan with Ashley (prep) and Jennifer (cook); Michael with Jessie (prep) and Eli (cook); and Kevin with Preeti (prep) and Ash (cook).

Kevin’s usual sunny disposition hits a rough patch. Look at his sous chefs, after all. Preeti sets him back and ruins his good mood with her poor, slow prep. He manages to remain civil, but it’s an effort, even for him. Meanwhile, Bryan and Michael fly through their first day, further discouraging Kevin.

The mystery box proves a problem for the chefs, especially Michael, who struggles until the day of service to pull together a dish. Kevin’s only problem is the mushroom, as he’s not familiar with the ingredient.

On day two, Kevin’s adjusted his ‘tude, disappointed that he let Preeti’s power of suckage hold any sway over him. Then it’s … Third Twist! A knock at the door over morning coffee reveals not Padma (as anticipated) but instead Mama Kevin and Mama Voltaggio. Surprise! Kevin tears up and Bryan practically glows. He could not be happier that his mother is buttoning his shirt. Michael plays aloof when she adjusts his shirt cuffs, but you know he’s soaking it up. Because, you know, he has to.

Then it’s off to Cyrus Restaurant. Colicchio greets the chefs for … Fourth twist! This is practically an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Or an episode of Sunny. Anyway, the chefs must honor their mothers by cooking a fourth dish, in this case the first dish, which must be inspired by the mothers that the boys are honoring. Get it?

Bryan makes something with sardines for a play on tuna casserole, which I made all the time as a kid when my mom was working. I mean all the time. My brothers and sisters gag at the thought of it now. Kevin fries the skin of a chicken, which I feel would have great possibilities, but not before it gives me a coronary. Michael, who hated vegetables (I hear you, brother), makes popcorn broccoli.

Service. Fifth Twist! The mothers are seated at the table and will taste their sons’ mother-inspired dishes. As the judges (Padma, Colicchio, Gail and Toby) and assorted diners (including Douglas Keane, Bill Terlato, Donatella Arpaia, and Stephen Starr, among others) praise Kevin’s first course and bash the Voltaggios’, Mama V starts to panic (and tries sardines for the first time). Then Padma dismisses the mothers from the table so we can really get this party started. The dismissal is as weird as it sounds.

Then it’s to the heart of the meal. The menus first:  Kevin starts with rockfish in duck fat, roasted matsutake, roasted crab broth; then slow cooked pork belly, roasted broccoli & brussel sprouts, caramelized ham jus; and finishes for dessert, roasted banana, chocolate bacon mousse, and peanut bacon brittle.

Michael second course is butter poached rockfish, tomato-kombu sauce, sweet & sour salad; then fennel-scented squab, pistachio cassoulet, textures of mushrooms; and for dessert, chocolate caramel coulant, with butternut squash ice cream.

Bryan starts with sous vide rockfish, diced matsutake, with meyer lemon jam; next is venison saddle, brussel sprouts, sunchokes, maple-glazed carrots; finally, for dessert, sheep’s milk & white chocolate “dulce de leche” cheesecake, dry caramel, fig sorbet, poached pear.

In general, Bryan’s dishes lacked seasoning, tended to be conservative, and showed great technique. His dessert especially shows a lot of skill and finesse. Though all of his food proves to be delicious, Gail comments that nothing is inspiring.

Kevin’s mystery dish suffered from poorly cooked mushrooms, though the rest of the dish excelled. His pork disappoints a few of the diners for being undercooked, and Colicchio feels that he could have pushed the envelope a bit more. The judges and diners disagree over the use of bacon in the dessert, and Tom would have liked to have seen more creativity.

Michael served creative, well-seasoned dishes with great textures – though some aspects were “a gimmick.” What dooms him is his dessert, which Eli improperly prepared and then Michael overcooked. All of the judges remark on its dryness, and Colicchio calls it “almost a very good dessert.”

Before Judges’ Table, Kevin’s proud of his meal and for pulling it out after a tough start. Bryan’s confident with his dishes, but Michael fears that his dessert will ruin his chances for the win, as his worst dish was the last plate served to the judges.

At the Table, much of the comments are repeated, with a number of disagreements among the judges about seasoning, personal preferences, and lots of praise for each of the chefs. They all had high notes as well as low ones, and this will come down to who has the most glaring flaws.

After the exchange of comments, Padma asks each chef to explain why he should be Top Chef. Bryan expressed his cuisine all season long with his choices and style of cooking. Michael says, “I just don’t want Bryan to be Top Chef.” Good night, everybody! After the laughter stops, Michael explains that his emotions are in his food, and this is his life. Kevin has cooked food that is soulful and speaks to the kind of person that he is.

Good speeches, but over deliberation, none of that matters. The judges continue to argue over the same issues, reiterate the same disagreements and eventually hammer out a decision. Bring them back out, and Kevin … you are not Top Chef. He exits sadly.

And now, it’s down to the two Voltaggios, and again – is anyone surprised by this? Ultimately, it’s declaration time, and the Top Chef is … Michael Voltaggio! Mama V comes out to hug her boy, and after a nice long embrace, he pulls back with red, teary eyes. He turns to Padma and says, “there’s the emotion you’ve been looking for.” If only we’d seen some of this personality earlier in the season.

And there we are! The problems with this season mainly had to do with casting – though we definitely watched the strongest group in a long while, except for Jennifer all of the women were noticeably weaker than all of the men, which was a great disappointment. The Voltaggios, Kevin, and Jennifer (when she was on point), were of a different class than the competition, so that it was obvious early on who the finalists would be. Therefore, most of the season was a waiting game. A long, unwelcome game of who’s going to go home first with few surprises. As a result, a lot of the usual excitement didn’t exist.

As for the finalists, Michael deserved the win, so no argument there. Bryan and Kevin were also incredibly qualified, so no matter the outcome, we would have had a great, deserving winner. In general, I would have liked to have seen more of the friendship between the Voltaggios and anyone. I know there’s room in the editing for it, because Fabio and Stefan took up half of Season Five. We see bits and pieces of their dry sense of humor while interacting with the other chefs, but most of it feels deliberately cut out. In order to develop controversy and rivalries, the Voltaggio attitudes may have been exaggerated, but they seem to have been liked by everyone. It would have been nice to see a little more of their real personalities instead of the sketchy TC editing. Not that I expect anything else from my reality shows.

And with that, another season of Top Chef concludes. Thanks for reading along. Here’s to hoping Hector wins fan favorite at the reunion. Nevermind – I know it’s going to Kevin, and I’m okay with that too.

For another take on this episode, check out Did The Right Voltaggio Win? by Nicole C.

Season 6, Episode 14: Napa Finale, Part 2 (original air date December 9, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Virginia Sherwood