Top Chef: Someone’s Going to Get Their Feelings Hurt

Here we are! Finally! At last! The finale of Top Chef: Las Vegas. Part One of a long, predictable season ends the way we all knew it would. But in case you want some actual details, read on!

First, Jennifer, Michael Voltaggio, Kevin, and Bryan Voltaggio arrive one by one at the Napa Valley Train Depot. It’s all very quaint and picturesque, just the way you imagine wine country to be. They all interview about how they want to win, and this is a competition, yo! (Had you forgotten? Don’t worry, they’ll repeatedly remind you!) We also learn there’s a Facebook page dedicated to Kevin’s beard. The marvels of the internet.

Then the Napa Valley Express rolls up, and who disembarks but a pregnant and banged Padma, and guest judge Michael Chiarello! Aw geez. Like I didn’t have to watch enough of this guy before. The good news is, Chiarello is less of a jerk this time around, probably due to editing because he’s not the star. Michael talks about his great respect for Chiarello, which isn’t surprising, personality-wise. I can imagine these two getting along really well.

Before I start receiving angry emails, I concede that though Chiarello came off as a huge jerk on Masters, he also came off as a brilliant chef, and I was occasionally nice to him. Moving on.

Quickfire. You know, I could have sworn Padma called the last Quickfire the last Quickfire. She claims the same here. The challenge: to create a dish that features grapes. Because this is Napa Valley. As if anyone will let you forget it. The chefs must cook while traveling on the Napa Valley Wine Train. As the last high stakes Quickfire, the chefs will also compete for a brand new Prius.

Everyone but Michael struggles to remember what competition tastes like, and Kevin’s motion sickness seems to have no effect on him. Besides that, we watch four good chefs create good dishes. When announcing the winner, Chiarello threatens to steal Jennifer’s recipe. But even so, Chiarello chooses Michael as the winner.

Elimination Challenge. At Brix, the chefs must cater the crush party for 150 people from the Rutherford Hills Winery. The ingredients must be raised or grown in the area. They will create two dishes: one vegetarian, the other to include a local protein.

Jennifer chooses to cook duck, with the intention of cooking it over a wooden burning oven to capture a smoky flavor. Unfortunately, she doesn’t maintain the oven, the fire burns out, and she decides to confit the duck in its own fat. Yum. Sounds nasty, but rest assured, the judges find it delicious. During his visit, Colicchio also notices that Jennifer’s nerves have made the journey with her to Napa Valley. This is irrelevant and important later. Wait for it.

Kevin makes brisket, which requires more time to cook perfectly than the time he has allotted. Despite Kevin’s confidence, Colicchio thinks Kevin is doomed. Michael has a long list of prep work, but we’re talking about Michael Voltaggio – he’ll be fine. Bryan uses local agriculture in his restaurant so he thinks he has this in the bag.

The brothers’ rivalry is a little awkward this week: Bryan tries to joke repeatedly with Michael, but Michael has no sense of humor in the kitchen. Whoops! Bryan interviews that he and Michael each want to beat the other, but they also want to make the final round together. Then Michael interviews that it would be a huge relief if Bryan were eliminated. Nicely done, guys.

Service goes well – we are, after all, dealing with the only most talented chefs from this season. Padma wears a weird dress. Sorry, Padma. The judges this week are Gail, Chiarello, and Colicchio.

All of the diners love each of the dishes they try, but the judges, naturally, have a few complaints. I think that the critiques we’re seeing concern nitpicking – these final four chefs are all professionals with great skill, so the judges have no choice but to find and exploit the subtle mistakes. A fact that Chiarello points out during Judges’ Table and it pains me to agree with him. Since, as usual, all of the comments are the same, let’s skip to…

Judges’ Table. Bryan’s short ribs and goat cheese ravioli are perfect, suffering only from a lack of pepper and salt. Michael’s turnip soup with foie gras terrine shows great vision, though it leaves a bitter taste in Gail’s mouth. Literally. Also, the egg in his vegetable pistou overpowers the rest of the dish, and is runny enough to gross out Padma. Kevin capitalizes on his simplicity again, specifically a salad with only roasted beets and carrots. Gail loves the color, and Colicchio especially praises his subtle flavoring and “restraint.” Despite compliments from the diners, Colicchio maintains the brisket was not fully prepared. Jennifer’s chevre mousse with mushrooms surprises Chiarello, who didn’t expect to enjoy it. Sadly for her, she’s too heavy with the salt. The judges spend time complimenting her duck, which was very “ducky.” Really. Colicchio asks her why she didn’t grill her duck, as she intended to do when he visited the chefs during prep. She admits that she let the oven burn out and would have preferred to grill it.

Deliberation, and then line them back up. Bryan’s delivery of two dishes with high degrees of difficulty lands him the win. He’s thrilled to survive the competition without ever being up for elimination. And the eliminated chef is … Jennifer, because of her heavy hand with salt and the nervousness Colicchio witnessed in the kitchen. She let the fire burn out in the oven, and that indicated that something was “not happening for [her].”

It’s sad to see Jennifer go because she started strong and had a nice comeback story developing. She tears up and continues to berate herself during her exit interview. I hope she learns to relax in her time off.

I will add that based on the reviews from the judges, Jennifer probably didn’t deserve to go this week – Michael Voltaggio seemed to have committed greater culinary sins. Though Jennifer has been the least consistent of the four, history isn’t supposed to play a role in the deliberations, so … I guess we’ll just have to trust that the judges know whereof they speak. As of course, they do, even with Chiarello on the panel.

Next week: The final finale! Really!

For another take on this episode, check out All Boys Club by Nicole Cukingnan.

Season 6, Episode 13: Napa Finale, Part 1 (original air date December 2, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of  NBC Universal and Virginia Sherwood