Real Housewives: The Good Wife

On Real Housewives this week, Vicki’s marriage is finding a second wind while Tamra’s is falling apart. Not sure which makes me more uncomfortable.

Vicki in a surprising showing of emotion this week, surprised Don with a trip to Turks and Caicos for some alone time, and to renew their vows. Don cried in nearly every scene, which was really sweet actually. Tears were shed on the beach when he heard the news that they were going on vacation alone, sniffles when Vicki surprised him with their old wedding album at dinner, and emotions were definitely flowing during their vow renewal and when Vicki gave him a new blinged out wedding ring. I was thrown by how carefree and borderline likable Vicki was this week, but I think that credit is due mostly to Don for being such a feeler. Also, any warm cuddly sentiments were kind of trumped by comments like “whoever said money isn’t important must have been poor.” Yeah.

In Tamra world, things are getting out of control. Unlike a normal person who would talk to their significant other about problems in a relationship, Tamra acts like a child stomping her foot while Simon craps all over feminism. She whines about her less than ideal marriage to Marcos (her coworker) and breaks down with her mother (good thing they serve booze at brunch!) about how she and Simon are “seriously” headed towards divorce. Why do I get the feeling that if she said these words to Simon-Says that he would be totally caught off guard? Maybe it’s because she literally never confronts him. Tam Tam needs to grow a pair, stop bitching and start speaking her mind if she and Simon have such drastically different perceptions of their marriage. Then again, that would be in a logical world, and Orange County recognizes no logic sooooo, yeah, more of that next week I guess!

Meanwhile on planet Alexis, she lets us have a look into her Godly life with Jim when she goes to church with her family in a dress from the reject pile at Hookers-R-Us. She says that God has played a huge role in her life since she was young and that’s why she and Jim have such a strong relationship. I’m not even going to try to understand this one, there is too much silicone flying around to assess the role Christianity plays in her life. Whatever gets her through the week without Botox is fine by me.

So, Gretchen is kind of dumb. I totally supported her plan to reach out to Lynne’s daughter Alexa since she got the impression that she was depressed and not getting enough attention at home. So, Gretchen invites Alexa to go out shopping, and you would assume that she would gain her trust a little and ask her how things are in her life. Wrong. Gretchen is an idiot, and out of nowhere accuses Alexa of being depressed while sort of being supportive and telling her that she could talk to her because she went through all that when she was growing up. Alexa gives her a big WTF face, understandably so, and talks smack about Gretchen later at the gym with her mom. If stupid Gretchen handled this better, she could have become a real confidante to Alexa, which she seems to really need. Drat.

Next week, it looks like Tamra is going to throw another pity party for herself while the gals revert back to middle-schoolers and TP Gina’s house during a sleepover. At least it doesn’t look like the men are coming this time.

Season 5, Episode 7: Love and War (originally aired January 7, 2010)

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Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Denis Poroy, Mitchell Haaseth, and Isabella Vosmikova.