WGA Awards 2010 (LA Photos)

Poptimal.com got exclusive access to the Writer’s Guild of America (West) Award’s Ceremony in Los Angeles.  Check out the our pictures from the event below.

Scott Moore and Jon Lucas, writers of "The Hangover" Scott Moore and Jon Lucas, writers of "The Hangover"	Kathryn Bigelow, director of "The Hurt Locker" Kathryn Bigelow, director of "The Hurt Locker"	James Cameron, the mastermind behind the hit blockbuster and nominee for best original screenplay for "Avatar" James Cameron, the mastermind behind the hit blockbuster and nominee for best original screenplay for "Avatar"
James Cameron, writer and director of "Avatar" with wife Susy Amis James Cameron, writer and director of "Avatar" with wife Susy Amis	Geoffrey Fletcher, writer of Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay. Geoffrey Fletcher, writer of Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay.	Dan Sturman and Bill Guttentag of "Soundtrack for A Revolution" nominated for Best Documentary Dan Sturman and Bill Guttentag of "Soundtrack for A Revolution" nominated for Best Documentary
Michael Sucsy, writer of HBO's "Grey Gardens", nominated for Best Episodic Drama Michael Sucsy, writer of HBO's "Grey Gardens", nominated for Best Episodic Drama	Mark Boal, writer of "The Hurt Locker", nominated for Original Screenplay. Mark Boal, writer of "The Hurt Locker", nominated for Original Screenplay.	Michelle with Mindy Kaling from The Office, nominated for Best Comedy Series. Michelle with Mindy Kaling from The Office, nominated for Best Comedy Series.
Michelle with the brains behind "The Hangover" Michelle with the brains behind "The Hangover"	John Corbett of "The United States of Tara" shares his experiences working with Diablo Cody with Poptimal.com John Corbett of "The United States of Tara" shares his experiences working with Diablo Cody with Poptimal.com	Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm) Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Mila Kunis Mila Kunis	Scott Neustadter, co-writer of the hit film "500 Days of Summer" and nominated for Best Original Screenplay at the WGA Awards. Scott Neustadter, co-writer of the hit film "500 Days of Summer" and nominated for Best Original Screenplay at the WGA Awards.	Mindy Kaling, writer and star of NBC's "The Office" which was nominated for a WGA award. Mindy Kaling, writer and star of NBC's "The Office" which was nominated for a WGA award.

Photos By Michelle Tran and Heather Overton; Copyright Poptimal LLC (All Rights Reserved)

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2010 AWARDS WINNERS

SCREEN WINNERS

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

The Hurt Locker, Written by Mark Boal; Summit Entertainment

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Up in the Air, Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner; Based upon the novel by Walter Kirn; Paramount Pictures

DOCUMENTARY SCREENPLAY

The Cove, Written by Mark Monroe; Lionsgate and Roadside Attractions

TELEVISION WINNERS

DRAMA SERIES

Mad Men, Written by Lisa Albert, Andrew Colville, Kater Gordon, Cathryn Humphris, Andre Jacquemetton, Maria Jacquemetton, Brett Johnson, Erin Levy, Marti Noxon, Frank Pierson, Robin Veith, Dahvi Waller, Matthew Weiner; AMC

COMEDY SERIES

30 Rock, Written by Jack Burditt, Kay Cannon, Robert Carlock, Tom Ceraulo, Vali Chandrasekaran, Tina Fey, Donald Glover, Steve Hely, Matt Hubbard, Dylan Morgan, Paula Pell, Jon Pollack, John Riggi, Tami Sagher, Josh Siegal, Ron Weiner, Tracey Wigfield; NBC

NEW SERIES

Modern Family, Written by Paul Corrigan, Sameer Gardezi, Joe Lawson, Steven Levitan, Christopher Lloyd, Dan O’Shannon, Brad Walsh, Caroline Williams, Bill Wrubel, Danny Zuker; ABC

EPISODIC DRAMA – any length – one airing time

“Broken, Part 1 and Part 2” (House), Written by Russel Friend & Garrett Lerner & David Foster & David Shore; Fox

EPISODIC COMEDY – any length – one airing time (**TIE**)

“Apollo, Apollo” (30 Rock), Written by Robert Carlock; NBC

“Pilot” (Modern Family), Written by Steven Levitan & Christopher Lloyd; ABC

LONG FORM – ORIGINAL – over one hour – one or two parts, one or two airing times

Georgia O’Keeffe, Written by Michael Cristofer; Lifetime

LONG FORM – ADAPTATION – over one hour – one or two parts, one or two airing times

Taking Chance, Teleplay by Lieutenant Colonel Michael R. Strobl, USMC (Ret.) and Ross Katz, Based on the short story by Lieutenant Colonel Michael R. Strobl, USMC (Ret.); HBO

ANIMATION – any length – one airing time

“Wedding for Disaster” (The Simpsons), Written by Joel H. Cohen; Fox

COMEDY / VARIETY – (INCLUDING TALK) SERIES (**TIE**)

Saturday Night Live, Head Writer: Seth Meyers, Writers Doug Abeles, James Anderson, Alex Baze, Jessica Conrad, James Downey, Steve Higgins, Colin Jost, Erik Kenward, Rob Klein, John Lutz, Lorne Michaels, John Mulaney, Paula Pell, Simon Rich, Marika Sawyer, Akiva Schaffer, John Solomon, Emily Spivey, Kent Sublette, Jorma Taccone, Bryan Tucker, Additional Sketch by Adam McKay, Andrew Steele; NBC

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Head Writer: Steve Bodow, Writers Rory Albanese, Kevin Bleyer, Rich Blomquist, Tim Carvell, Wyatt Cenac, Hallie Haglund, JR Havlan, David Javerbaum, Elliott Kalan, Josh Lieb, Sam Means, Jo Miller, John Oliver, Daniel Radosh, Jason Ross, Jon Stewart; Comedy Central

COMEDY / VARIETY – MUSIC, AWARDS, TRIBUTES – SPECIALS

Film Independent’s 2009 Spirit Awards, Written by Billy Kimball, Neil MacLennan; IFC/AMC

DAYTIME SERIAL

The Young and the Restless, Written by Amanda L. Beall, Tom Casiello, Lisa Connor, Janice Ferri Esser, Eric Freiwald, Jay Gibson, Scott Hamner, Marla Kanelos, Beth Milstein, Natalie Minardi Slater, Melissa Salmons, Linda Schreiber, James Stanley, Sandra Weintraub, Teresa Zimmerman; CBS

CHILDREN’S EPISODIC & SPECIALS

“Welcome to the Jungle” (The Troop), Written by Max Burnett; Nickelodeon

CHILDREN’S SCRIPT – LONG FORM OR SPECIAL

Another Cinderella Story, Written by Erik Patterson, Jessica Scott; ABC Family

DOCUMENTARY – CURRENT EVENTS

“The Madoff Affair” (Frontline), Written by Marcela Gaviria, Martin Smith; PBS

DOCUMENTARY – OTHER THAN CURRENT EVENTS

“The Trials of J. Robert Oppenheimer” (American Experience), Written by David Grubin; PBS

NEWS – REGULARLY SCHEDULED, BULLETIN OR BREAKING REPORT

World News with Charles Gibson, Written by Lee Kamlet, Julia Kathan, Joel Siegel; ABC

NEWS – ANALYSIS, FEATURE, OR COMMENTARY

“A Private War: Expose: America’s Investigative Reports” (Bill Moyers Journal), Written by Thomas M. Jennings; PBS

RADIO WINNERS

DOCUMENTARY

2008 Year in Review, Written by Gail Lee; CBS

NEWS – REGULARLY SCHEDULED OR BREAKING

World News This Week – July 11, 2009, Written by Darren Reynolds; ABC Radio

NEWS – ANALYSIS, FEATURE OR COMMENTARY

Paul Harvey: An American Life, Written by Stu Chamberlain; ABC Radio

PROMOTIONAL WRITING AND GRAPHIC ANIMATION WINNERS

ON-AIR PROMOTION (RADIO OR TELEVISION)

“Vegas” (Dateline), “The Wanted” Promo, NBC Nightly News Promo, “Iran” (Dateline), “Cheat” (Dateline), Written by Barry Fitzsimmons; NBC

TELEVISION GRAPHIC ANIMATION

“Hudson Splashdown” (CBS Evening News with Katie Couric), David M. Rosen, Shannon L. Toma; CBS

VIDEOGAME WRITING WINNER

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, Written by Amy Hennig; Sony Computer Entertainment

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Project Runway: Think Circus

This week’s episode of Project Runway wasn’t as fun as a night at the circus, but really, what else could I call it. You have several short people running around with their own special brand of chaos, peacock colors gathered to make one hideous pant and one really big clown; what other place would you find this but the circus. Well, maybe the design room.

This week’s episode started off fairly simple. First there are the usual reflections from the remaining designers. While Anthony stays focused on winning after his last challenge win (Yay!), Janeane kicks herself for screwing up so abysmally last week while in front of the Editor of Marie Claire (Yeah, you really did. Not to be cruel or anything but that outfit looked waterlogged.) And as usual, the designers met Heidi at the runway to learn their next challenge; that’s where things quickly go… haywire.

The task: create a fashionable children’s look; the challenge: well, that would be the new models. Children, aged maybe eight or nine, I guess. And yes of course they are adorable, but more important they’re completely, completely outside of the designers’ range/ comfort zone, which is awesome.

The designers have varying reactions to this, mostly ranging in excitement and utter terror. On the happy end there is Amy, ecstatic because she loves mini-clothes, and Seth Aaron, who takes inspiration from his daughter who happens to love fashion. And on the other side is Anthony, used to making clothes that celebrate the female form, now having to make clothes for a female who has no discernible form.

On the scaredy-cat spectrum is Emilio who with each challenge becomes more unlikeable. (I don’t know, there is just something about him that is positively villain-esque. His spirit is off putting; he’s snide, condescending, and slimy. Yuck.) Emilio says he doesn’t want to be innovative and will instead make a pretty little dress. (That just gave me a Jesus flashback.) Personally, I think that if you don’t want to be innovative you should pack your big red nose and go home.

On to the designs: Amy looks to be fashion forward with no pink, Mila goes back to color blocking, Jonathan remakes his fabric, and Emilio’s dress looks boring and all kind of blah. Janeane pulls up childhood memories as she wants to remake a dress her sister had when they were younger. Question: how long ago was that? Is the extent of your design skills exhausted by the challenge, if so check paragraph above (hint: big red nose.)

Halfway through the challenge, the designers realize that there is probably going to be a twist, this Tim proves true as he tells them they must make a corresponding look for their adult model. Jonathan and Seth don’t seem to have a problem with this, while Amy and Jesse simply have no clue.

During the second design, the designers become annoyed with Anthony’s constant rambling. And with much irony Seth, last week’s village idiot, is at the lead. School yard style, the designers bet to see how long Anthony can be quiet, and so begins the longest 14 minutes and 56 seconds of his life.

Tim returns to check the progress. He loves Jonathan’s look, is excited by Seth Aaron’s, and sees Halloween in Janeane’s color scheme. Amy shows Tim a slew of colorful circles and describes a pant she wants to make with them. Tim is worried, as Amy should be.

Morning of the Runway show the models arrive, both tall and short. The short models proceed to drive Anthony and the other designers crazy with their general rambunctiousness. It’s fun to watch.

The guest judge this week is designer Tory Burch. My favorite designs were by Ben, whose designs were both simple and clean, and Seth Aaron, whose look was rocker chic (and adorable.) At the bottom was Janeane, boring, and Mila plain. Then there was Amy…

Amy’s outfits were bad… there’s not much else I can say about that. From the dizzying concoction of circles and colors with the complete absence of styling, they were just bad. And although I do give her credit for being willing to go out there and take a risk, just come back Amy. Please, come on back.

The judges’ favorites were Jesse, whose child outfit Nina found adorable, Seth Aaron, whose looks Tory called a little girl’s dream, and Jay Nicholas, whose look Heidi said required a lot of thought and design. On the losing end was Jonathan, whose too sophisticated look looked uncomfortable, Amy, whose look Michael equated to a disaster, and Janeane, whose outfit Michael said was both simple and awful.

And while Seth Aaron gets the challenge win and immunity, Janeane gets no more chances. Bye-bye.

Next week, design from the hardware aisle. Oh, yes.

For another take on this episode, check out Honey, I shrunk the models! by Dianna Berrian.

Season 7, Episode 5: A Little Bit of Fashion (originally aired February 18, 2010)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime and IMDbPro

Project Runway: Honey, I shrunk the models!

This week, Project Runway decided to let the designers’ kids do the work! No, I’m kidding, but there were kids. And they were the models. In the words of my favorite designer, Jesse: “Oh crap. This is gonna be a nightmare.”

Designers were assigned the task of creating a look for children. It had to be appropriate and fashionable. Each designer was paired with a little girl. Okay, so it was kind of cute how nervous the little ones were. I’m a sucker for cute kids, so sue me!

They had a budget of $50 and until midnight that night to work. Tim also informs them that they won’t see their “models” until tomorrow. Trust me, that’s a good thing. The work room is a little tense but mostly playful as everyone works with ease. Jonathan does some hilarious Michael Kors impersonations, and they even challenge Anthony to see how long he can keep quiet. Final result: 14 minutes, 56 seconds. This is a record for him, sadly. Also, the word “romper” keeps getting thrown around, and since I’m not very fashion savvy, I looked it up. For those who also don’t know, a romper is a child’s one piece outer garment. Ohhh. Okay. See now I know why they called it “Romper Room on crack”.

Now that I’ve digressed, let’s talk about Tim’s visit to the room with that sly little look of his. A whole day without Tim and now he’s here with a smirk? Gotta be a twist. “These looks will not be walking down the runway today.” Cue obligatory awesome Jesse moment: (in Tim Gunn style voice) “REALLY?” Silly man even got Tim to laugh. Loves it. Anyway, the twist is that the designers now must create a corresponding look for their actual models, with $100 and one day to do it. Jesse: “You want more genius? God..” Did I mention I love him?

The children attack the work room with their “moms” and all of a sudden it’s loud. Children playing with fabric, dancing in the sewing room. Nightmare! Anthony sarcastically asks them “do ya’ll have an off switch?” only to be thwarted by a response of “what’s an off switch?” Okay, that kid looked like she was 5 or 6 years old and you’re telling me she doesn’t know what an off switch is? What are they teaching kids these days? Oh forget it, let’s go to the runway.

Our guest judge this week is American designer Tory Burch – some lady who makes clothes for all ages so she supposedly has knowledge of children’s fashion. It’s definitely an interesting show. Personally, I like any challenge that has two garments. The more the merrier. The three that stood out to me specifically were Seth Aaron’s rockin’ outfits, Janeane’s cute outfits, and Jesse’s “Madeline” inspired outfits.

The top three were Seth Aaron, Jesse, and Jay. (Well two for three ain’t bad!) The judges agreed with me about Seth’s looks saying they were “super strong”, “what a little girl would dream of wearing”, and even Michael acknowledged his jacket as the “best tailored jacket this season.” Sweet. Jesse’s adorable dresses caught the judges’ eyes as well. Tory liked the unusual colors and again Michael commented on the “real tailoring”. Jay’s look was pretty and definitely a recognizable mommy-and-me look. Nina thought the pair were “striking, modern, urban, New York, and cool”.

Amy, Jonathan and Janeane landed in the bottom three. Janeane’s looks – which I did like, but that goes to show how far off my fashion sense is – were too plain and simple for the judges. Heidi said it looked like a “cheap mall outfit”. Yeah, I kinda see that now. Moving on, Jonathan’s mini look was cute but the adult companion was a mess. Michael said it best: “it looks like a tornado of toilet paper.” Amy, on the other hand didn’t do enough work on her garments. Initial thought: interesting idea but terrible execution. Judges deemed it “confusing and circus-like” and Heidi herself said it was “hideous”. Ouchies.

The winner this week was Seth Aaron (finally!). His edgy designs and knack for “hardware”, as he likes to call it, earned him immunity for next week’s challenge. Janeane was sent home in tears. Literally. There’s no crying in Project Runway! Where’s Tom Hanks when you need him?

For another take on this episode, check out Think Circus by Keshaunta Moton.

Season 7, Episode 5: A Little Bit of Fashion (originally aired February 18, 2010)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime and IMDbPro

My Name Is Khan: An American Tale

My Name Is Khan, a Bollywood vehicle for the crazy-famous Shahrukh Khan, isn’t exactly getting hurt by all of the Forrest Gump comparisons (or the Forrest-Gump-like box office). Like Forrest Gump, Khan chronicles the unique fortunes of a mentally simple, absurdly noble protagonist against a backdrop of massive social upheaval. To call it heavy-handed would be an understatement. Most of the characters act as archetypes rather than individuals, serving as ciphers for their religious traditions or ethnic backgrounds. This isn’t necessarily a drawback. In fact, the best and most productive way to view this film is as an epic, populated with mythical tropes, following the development of Muslim-American identity after 9/11. The other way is to spend the rest of the movie nudging everyone around you and repeatedly stage-whispering, “That would never happen, you guys!” And your friends would get really sick of it.

Trope-conscious viewers, beware: we all know that the cinematic-industrial complex loves characters with neurological disorders, especially movie-friendly ones like Asperger’s. Intelligent, articulate but socially awkward misfits who have difficulty expressing their emotions produce cheap and easy movie magic. Rizwan Khan(Shahrukh Khan), the film’s protagonist, is no different from any movie savant you’ve seen before. He’s a holy fool; an emotionally tone-deaf man who is capable of tremendous feeling; a beauty-products salesman on a mission. Shahrukh Khan’s Asperger tricks—odd hand placement, evasive eye movements, a strange shuffle to his walk—are serviceable, but it’s the sweet expressiveness of his face that make his Khan worth following for two and a half hours.

‘My Name is Khan’ is an overly long movie that changes direction and tone more than once with debatable effectiveness. Rizwan Khan narrates his experience as a Muslim Indian-American, from his childhood in India struggling with Asperger’s to his cute San Francisco romance with a Hindu single mother, all of which is framed by his single-minded mission to meet the President. Rizwan overcomes some of his natural awkwardness in wooing Mandira (the crazy-beautiful Kajol), a hairstylist with a young son named Sam, and the three of them form a unique, multicultural family bond. While it’s tempting to dismiss their perfectly blended family and consciously diverse array of friends as saccharine or stilted, there’s something undeniably compelling about the community they create.

***Spoiler Alert***

All of this changes, of course, painfully and immediately, after September 11. The Khans quickly find themselves having to constantly and actively distinguish themselves as ‘good’ Americans. Haseena, Rizwan’s psychologist sister-in-law, stops wearing her hijab after she is assaulted. While the majority of their friends and neighbors remain accepting, as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq escalate, former acquaintances begin to exclude and ostracize them. One day, after soccer practice, Sam is attacked and beaten to death by a group of high-schoolers in an anti-Muslim hate crime, an act that changes Rizwan and Mandira’s lives forever.

Mandira, overwhelmed by grief and rage, blames Rizwan’s Muslim background for Sam’s death and throws him out of the house. Rizwan is unable to understand Mandira’s irrational behavior and asks when he will be allowed to come home. Since Sam was attacked because he was perceived as a ‘dangerous Muslim,’ Mandira tells Rizwan that when he’s explained to everyone in America, even the President himself, that he is not a terrorist, then she’ll feel safe enough to let him back in—never dreaming he’ll take her demand seriously.

At this point the movie shifts from a lighthearted romantic comedy to the classic hero’s journey–Mandira’s ‘call to adventure’ sets the monomyth in motion. Rizwan begins an epic quest to meet the President and to tell him one thing: ‘My name is Khan, and I am not a terrorist.’ Yet unlike a typical hero, Rizwan comes to no realization, changes none of his behaviors, and remains unaltered throughout the film. His journey is not an internal one of self-realization, but a journey to change the way he is perceived by others.

To accomplish this, Rizwan is set up to be as non-threatening and unobjectionable a man as possible. He is a better Muslim than his fellow Muslims, a better American than his fellow Americans. He donates significant amounts of his money to charity benefiting the families affected by 9/11 and insists a religious charity keep his money for foreign aid even after they turn him away from a Christians-only event.

At one point, Rizwan enters into a mosque to pray in a new and unfamiliar city, where he overhears a man fomenting dissent among fellow worshipers and calling for violence. Rizwan not only challenges and rebukes the man (calling him ‘Satan,’ bringing to mind the ritual stoning of the devil during the hajj), he informs the FBI of the incident. In ritually confronting and opposing extremism, Rizwan establishes himself as an ideal representation of true Islamic behavior. His quiet merit and devotion to humanity eventually wins him supporters all over the country, especially after an interlude in Wilhelmina, Georgia, a post-Katrina New Orleans stand-in. Here the filmmakers attempt to draw parallels between the African-American and the Muslim-American experiences, but it’s a slightly jarring experience, especially given that the only two black characters with names are “Mama Jenny” (Jennifer Echols) and “Funny Hair Joel (Adrian Kali Turner).”

The closer Rizwan gets to his goal, the more persecution he faces, as being a brown Muslim and wanting to meet the President are reason enough for some to find him suspicious. Rizwan’s limited awareness of the severity and the injustice of his own suffering make the ending scenes all the more poignant and affecting. Yes, it’s a direct attempt to manipulate your emotions, and yes, it’s heavy-handed after the Gumpian fashion. But it’s in the quieter moments—a scene with some balloons and a yellow jacket, a pause for prayer, rather than the over-the-top moral pronouncements, that the film’s true heart lies.

A minor quibble: the soundtrack is incredibly distracting and inappropriate—bombastic and pulsing where it should be measured not to mention full of unnecessary violin swells. It’s as if the director wasn’t comfortable trusting the film to make its own emotional statement and felt the need to buttress every pivotal moment with a musical indication of what the audience is supposed to be feeling.

“My Name Is Khan” is in English, Hindi and Urdu with English subtitles.

Valentine’s Day: Heavyweight Cast, Lightweight Story

If you are not a big ball of mush or a rom-com fan or being forced to go to the movies by a significant other, than Valentine’s Day is not for you. It’s not an intelligent film or all that funny, and so many stars bloat the two-hour that it’s hard to care very much about most of their characters. In fact, you’ll probably leave the theater unsatisfied, wondering how such a photogenic and talented cast could have produced such cotton candy fluff. I know I did, but at least, I’m warning you before the fact.

At the center of the film are best friends Reed (Ashton Kutcher) and Julia (Jennifer Garner), who have to deal with some romantic speed bumps put in place by their respective partners Morley (Jessica Alba) and Harrison (Patrick Dempsey, unsurprising, another doctor). Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Kara (Jessica Biel) is a neurotic and lonely publicist to aging NFL quarterback Sean Jackson (Eric Dane), who’s represented by agent Paula Thomas (Queen Latifah). Paula’s assistant, for the day, is Liz (Anne Hathaway) who also moonlights as a phone-sex operator, dating Jason (Topher Grace). And Kelvin Moore (Jamie Foxx) is a sports journalist who tries to get in with Kara and get a big football-sized scoop.

You’d think that would be it, but if you’ve seen the previews there are dozens more. Some of the more entertaining portions of the film are owed to the teenage storylines of two young couples, Willy (Taylor Lautner) and Felicia (Taylor Swift) and Alex (Carter Jenkins) and Grace (Emma Roberts). And, I’ve got to say the chemistry award goes to Captain Kate Hazeltine (Julia Roberts) and Holden (Bradley Cooper), who’s arc plays out almost entirely on a plane. The most affecting storyline is between Estelle (Shirley MacLaine) and Edgar (Hector Elizondo), a couple married for over half a century and still in love. And no cast of this size could be complete without the wisecracking best friend (George Lopez) and a cute kid (Bryce Robinson), struck by cupid who acts beyond his years.

The multi-talented Garry Marshall directed the flick, and if his past successes (Happy Days, Beaches, Pretty Woman) are any clue, the man knows how to make a mainstream hits. (Though, even all his achievements can’t completely erase Georgia Rules.) With a script penned by Army Wives scribe Katherine Fugate, it’s clear the goal was to go more for the heart strings than the funny bone. Well, I’m sure they wanted it to be funny too, but this product kind of points out that the genre is definitely not her forte. But here, Marshall doesn’t try to make Valentine’s Day any more than a syrupy, perky and sunny break from reality where people find love, secrets spill and lovers part ways, and somehow, everything manages to end up okay.

Unfortunately, the film just happens to pull off “okay.” It’s extremely similar, in structure, to Love Actually, Crash or He’s Just Not That Into You, which debuted for Valentine’s Day last year. It’s centered around a group of people who all happened to be connected whether it’s through family, friends, work or mere coincidence. However Love Actually was actually funny and heartwarming, Crash had something to say, and He’s Just Not That Into You was…well…more like this one in that there was a lot of build up but not a lot of payoff. (I did love the touching reveals in the film’s final minutes.)

Besides the relatively unimaginative and clichéd writing, the main problem is the large cast and the fact that we spend so little time with any of them that it’s hard to keep everything straight and still manage to get invested. For the most part, even the most devastating plot turns are treated with the equivalent of “Take some Advil, and here’s a glass of water. Everything will be better in the morning.” I will commend them for making a Valentine’s Day film that panders to those who are in relationships and happy, single and lonely, newly single and angry or just plain enamored with puppy love, also aiming to touch people of all ages. It’s got a love type for every audience member out there. However, if I were you, I’d wait until next February 14th to watch. That way you can rent it and watch from the comfort of your own couch. At least, you won’t walk away feeling like you wasted a quarter gallon of gas.

Dont forget to check out our VDay Ed All the Single Ladies, Cue Beyonce (Renata’s Anti V-Day List) by Renata Sellitti

Burn Notice: Partners in Crime

Some guys take women to the beach, some take them to the movies, others take them to a farmers’ market…but Michael Westen takes Fiona to an ugly Polish military intelligence building. Fiona articulates that much to him, unhappily. They are there trying to scope out some more information on what Gilroy is after. As of last week, all Michael knows is that he is very interested in a flight starting from Chile, passing through Miami and ending up in Poland. Michael needs to figure out what the mysterious cargo is so he can intercept Gilroy from intercepting it. It’s a tough gig, this spy business.

Michael spots a guy named Conrad coming out of the business and figures him for an easy mark that he can turn to his advantage. He presents himself as a Russian businessman needing information about the flight (Conrad is half Russian), thinking he can appeal to Conrad as a fellow countryman. He figured wrong. It turns out that Conrad is a patriot who would never think of selling out Poland. He’s about to shoot Michael in the head when Fiona appears all ninja-like and smacks the bejesus out of him with her bluntly sexy shotgun. Michael is a lucky man.

Fiona agrees to help Michael find a new tactic for turning Conrad and getting the information he needs. Michael gratefully accepts, and all Fiona wants in return is a little mad money. To get this mad money, Michael gives in and offers to help Sam on a gig Sam has been trying to get Michael to take for some time. The job involves helping a pretty fashion mogul named Isabella find out who is stealing from her company. She offers to pay Sam and Michael $30,000. For Michael, the motivation is the money. For Sam, it’s all about having access to fashion models. One of the fun things about Burn Notice is how consistent the characters are.

Isabella believes that the culprit is her vice president Tim. Michael and Sam initially operate under this assumption, but when Isabella is murdered and Tim framed for the crime, they realize that they shouldn’t have listened to her. That Sam and Michael failed their beautiful client is indicative of some of the darker currents Matt Nix has been introducing into the third season. Of course, given the slickly fun format of the show, there is really never any danger that Michael will become an unlikable character. But I appreciate that Nix is at least trying to subvert Michael in safe but effective ways so as to keep him from becoming too predictable and unidirectional.

Sam and Michael quickly determine that the real killer is Isabella’s other business partner Damon, who gives a very devious and insincere eulogy at her funeral. Michael thinks on the fly and convinces Damon that he is yet another business partner of Isabella’s, one she didn’t talk about and for good reason: he and Isabella were starching heroin into her fabrics and shipping them all over, making $4 million a week. This same concept was revealed to be the baddies’ secret evil agenda in the terrible attempted Steven Seagal comeback vehicle Exit Wounds. This scheme appeals to Damon’s greed and lays the groundwork for Michael to find ways to incriminate Damon and his accomplice Ric in the murder. They also have to hide Tim from the cops until they can clear his name.

Fiona, meanwhile, poses as a CIA agent and goes to Conrad under the pretext that her agency is trying to take down the fictional Russian traitor that Michael played in the beginning. She continues to work on Conrad, telling him that there is a mole in his office and that he has to steal the flight cargo information for her so that she can keep it from the other baddies. You can tell that Fiona isn’t wholly comfortable deceiving an honest man, but it is for the greater good and she complies.

The episode features some standard surveillance work, a nifty Michael-jumping-onto-a-moving-truck escape scene, and some sniper rifle badassery. The real highlight though is seeing Bruce Campbell do a first-rate impression of David Caruso on CSI: Miami by playing a CSI forensic scientist with a penchant for saying sternly intense one-liners and whipping on his designer sunglasses. Campbell was better at being David Caruso than David Caruso is.

Season 3, Episode 14: Partners in Crime (Originally aired February 18, 2010)

For more on Burn Notice, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on USA

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Glenn Watson

American Idol: Not A Moment Too Soon

At last! The time has come for loyal American Idol viewers across the country to fine-tune their texting skills in preparation for voter participation next week, as this year’s Top 24 has been officially decided. Also, I sense a collective sigh of relief as it seems to have been an arduous journey to this point, capped off by the ludicrous decision by Idol producers to stretch out this year’s Final Judgment with a two-part Hollywood Week finale totaling three hours in length. Groan.

With that, I’ll preface my review by saying that, after an explanatory prologue, I’ll try and keep such distractions as the incessant rehashing of contestants’ sob stories, Seacrest’s relentless hyperbole, Simon’s terse ambivalence, and my unruly verbosity to a minimum by remembering what’s important about the final auditions: who makes it, and who doesn’t. Of course, a few anecdotal gems and hilariously cringe-worthy asides will be mentioned here and there, but let’s primarily stick to the heart of the matter, shall we? I’ll remind myself along the way. Let’s begin.

Seacrest starts us off with a weak attempt to wax poetic by asking us to look at the competition thus far from the contestants’ point of view (“Imagine,” he coos, “waiting for hours in a sea of thousands for the chance to audition,” etc. You get the idea), in order for us to fully grasp the magnitude of sacrifice these people have wrought in order to fulfill their dream. After initial tryouts and the grueling process of Hollywood Week, Seacrest says “the struggle, the tears and the fatigue have taken the stage for the last time. Their fate is sealed.” Huh?

Apparently, the editors decided to Tarantino this episode – meaning, we’re starting at the end after everyone’s final performances, only to go back to the beginning and take an out-of-sequence look at the voyage that led up to this point. This would be clever fifteen years ago, and creatively necessary if this were, oh, a Tarantino movie. Or Memento. Or something else with substantial artistic merit. Sigh.

“Rewind the tape,” commands Seacrest, and we go back a few hours to the early morning before final performances, where the remaining 71 contestants are shown making last-minute preparations and looking nervous. We are told they will perform one by one without any feedback — only deafening silence and banishment to one of three conference rooms to await the judges’ decision will follow. The population of one conference room will be cut in its entirety, and the other two will face Final Judgment to determine the Top 24.

Suddenly, it’s 8:00 p.m. and the judges are shown deliberating over a pile of photographs, throwing in a vaguely productive comment or two. We get a quick glimpse to which rooms some favorite contestants have been assigned.

Room 1: Casey James (Kara’s favorite pony-tailed bluesman), Tim Urban (beyond mediocre freckled kid), Tyler Grady (Plant/Daltrey/Morrison worshipper), Andrew Garcia (“Straight Up” acoustic crooner) and Todrick Hall (cocky back flipper).

Room 2: Mary Powers (is anyone rooting for this woman?), Lloyd Thomas (“Big S-s-s-exxxy” dock worker), Hope Johnson (poor, backwoods bartender) and Christian Spear (cancer survivor).

Room 3: Shelby Dressel (of the facial paralysis), Haeley Vaughn (country-pop cutie), Maddie Penrose (Sally Jessy Raphael), Jessica Furney (overeager second-timer) and Angela Martin (tragically unlucky third-timer).

Now, onto the heart of the matter! It is with Ms. Martin we are finally, mercifully beginning to see some final auditions, and her rendition of Estelle’s “American Boy” is right up her alley. I had caught wind of Angela’s tumultuous background involving her departure from the last two Hollywood Weeks, and now have a better understanding of why she seems to be this year’s underdog. Kara mouths a very deliberate “love her!” to no one in particular when Angela leaves the stage, and I think she had picked a great song to match her voice.

Next up is Casey James and his surprising decision to sing Colbie Callait’s “Bubbly,” that inescapable, Starbucks-friendly tune from a couple of years ago about something starting in your toes and crinkling your nose. Not my favorite, but Casey’s seriously growing on me, and he sang this song in such a way that the ridiculous lyrics don’t matter. Even my boyfriend remarked “he’s really good,” and this kind of fare is normally something he only watches because I’m hogging the TV.

While Casey was the only contestant to choose “Bubbly” for his last audition, Jermaine Purifory was all alone with “Brick House,” the Commodores classic paying homage to the female form. It’s definitely a catchy groove, albeit played out, and I do feel for Jermaine when he wonders out loud, “How come people don’t dig Brick House?!” There are far worse choices, I’m sure. He sings it well, and I dig Jermaine, but the judges are visibly ambiguous.

After these three auditions, we fast forward in order for Seacrest to remind us that these “early favorites” were put in separate waiting rooms. That means at least one of them won’t make it to the Top 24! Ah, the suspense. The atmosphere in the waiting rooms is quite grim across the board. Contestants are sitting in silence, reflecting over their Hollywood Week performances. Katie Stevens and Andrew Garcia’s positive comments are shown, while Jermaine Sellers could very well be regretting how his final audition went down.

He’s one of many to sing Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror,” and I find his voice rather shrill. Randy, on the other hand, is clearly impressed and Kara starts dancing in her seat. Really. However, before he leaves the stage Sellers asks to speak and makes it a point to say that the band had extended the planned ending to his rendition of the song. Thus, he says, “That wasn’t actually right.” Michael Orland and the band are seen exchanging confused glances, as are the judges, because no one could tell anything was amiss. Kara says “don’t throw the band under the bus” in a muted whisper, again to no one in particular, and Simon assures Sellers they’ve “heard enough.” This diva move (even Seacrest calls it that – wow) was beyond unnecessary and only makes Sellers look like a douche. Seriously, dude, keep your mouth shut.

Siobhan Magnus is next, also second-guessing herself. We’re treated to a flashback of Day One in Hollywood where Ellen tells Siobhan to quit taking herself so seriously and acting “old,” especially considering she’s only 19. “Let loose, have fun,” offers Ellen. Siobhan takes the advice and shows up to her final audition wearing something she apparently got at Cyndi Lauper’s last garage sale. She’s a quirky little thing, but she can certainly sing and I think she’s kind of interesting. Did I mention she’s a glassblowing apprentice?

My personal favorite contestant so far this season, dreadlocked Crystal Bowersox, takes the stage next with not only her guitar, but also a harmonica – she’s wearing it around her neck to play both simultaneously, a la Neil Young or Bob Dylan. She’s just awesome, folks. She makes a decent hit song (Sheryl Crow’s “If It Makes You Happy”) her own smashing success, and Ellen seems to have the same awestruck look on her face I do while watching Crystal blow these other schmucks outta the water.

While Crystal shows mastery of two instruments, Alex Lambert has been having trouble with one: his seemingly single-stringed ukulele. After Simon telling him he has “zero spark,” and tyrant Mary Powers calling him the “weakest link” on Group Day, Alex decides to go with a song he knows well for his final audition – Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours.” Indeed, he must have this song down pat because he could be asleep up there and I wouldn’t know it. Nothing’s wrong with this kid, but he just doesn’t have what it takes, and I can’t believe he’s  made it this far. Oh, and he’s wearing Teen Wolf sunglasses in the waiting room. Bueller?

This Mraz ditty is a popular choice, with Big Mike singing it next, then Todrick Hall, who says he thinks he “did pretty good,” but acknowledges that “we’re all vocally tired, and I’m no exception.” With Todrick’s ego running amok this season, a dose of humility was just what he needed to bring down the conceited jerk edit he’s been given so far.

Who’s most vocally tired? Thaddeus Johnson’s mother, according to Seacrest. To back up this claim we’re reminded of her reign as Stage Parent Supreme throughout the competition, screaming left and right whenever Thaddeus exits the stage. Normally these people make me rather nauseous, but she’s actually pretty funny and her enthusiasm is…charming? Thaddeus is another “Man in the Mirror,” but the band starts to play “Bubbly” at first, which makes Thad shoot them an uber-queeny death glare. “I’m not bubbly!” he declares, much to Simon’s glee. Thaddeus’s register is much deeper than I expected, given his speaking voice. He does well, and Mom’s shrieks of joy are still reverberating throughout Laurel Canyon.

Tasha Layton! Where have you been? The almost-forgotten worship pastor nails her haunting version of Coldplay’s “The Scientist,” a song I can’t believe no one else has done (that we could see), considering the disheartening amount of blasphemous Katy Perry covers and such. The editors cleverly place the lyrics “No one ever said it would be this hard” just as Tasha expresses doubt over her future in the competition. Although I like her, I share her dubious feelings about the likelihood of her placement in the Top 24.

Mary Powers clearly isn’t letting doubt get to her as she tells us, “I feel I’ve done enough to reach the Top 24, definitely.” Like what? Frightening everyone into submission? This possibility is justified as a few flashback shots of her tyranny over Group Day are shown. Next, she tells Seacrest her final audition will be a “walk in the park,” because “the song is cake.” Oh, really? Which super-easy song are you singing, Mary? It’s “Hot ‘N Cold,” of course, which probably is the simplest song of the bunch. Despite her omnipresent confidence, Mary’s final performance, for me, crashes shortly after takeoff — I’ll be shocked if she makes it through to the next round. After her audition, Mary is seen rocking back and forth in the waiting room, the nerves having finally set in.

Next, “Big S-s-s-exxxy” dock worker Lloyd Thomas is choked up thinking about his family before singing “Man in the Mirror,” doing a decent Ruben Studdard impression. Nice enough guy, but I’m near-certain this’ll be the last we see of him.

After Lloyd, police officer Brian Walker’s original Atlanta audition footage is shown with Randy saying he’s “hot.” Um, he’s not. Brian says Simon gave him a weird “wink and point” after his final performance, so he’s “pumped!” Bye, Brian.

In one of Seacrest’s more groan-inducing voice-overs, he says that Hope Johnson’s poverty-stricken childhood made her have to “live up to her name.” To wit, Hopeful Hope tells us the stage is the only place she’s ever fit in and she just wants to “do something I love that comes natural, so I can have it easy for once in my life.” Get in line, honey. She also mentions that with music, she “could sing a song and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.” Or, you could just speak up and say what you mean, like everyone else. No matter. She sings “Home,” by former Idol contestant Daughtry and it’s clear to me Hope is worthy of a Golden Ticket, but not a spot in the Top 24. Kara and Randy seem to nod together in agreement after her performance, however, so what the hell do I know?

Onto Shelby Dressel, who charmed the judges in Orlando by flubbing her words with panache. A graceful recovery goes a long way, even with Simon. However, her faulty memory concerning song lyrics is portrayed as a pattern, with her final rehearsals seeming laborious and repetitive. This brief subplot proves unnecessary, of course, as she belts out “More Than a Feeling” with complete phrases, albeit a bit chirpy for my taste. I think she’s got a decent shot.

However, Shelby is sitting in the same waiting room as Aaron Kelly, the 16-year-old who doesn’t need creative editing to invent a memory problem. He sings Sarah McLachlan’s song “Angel,” more recently featured in the ASPCA commercials that make everyone cry (oh, admit it), and completely blanks on an entire verse. He picks it back up at the chorus, but the damage is done and Seacrest notes that, for Shelby, sharing a waiting room with Aaron makes for “little security” despite her successful audition.

Next, we’re given quick snippets of auditions from people I’ve maybe heard of, but know next to nothing about. Ashley Rodriguez, who bears a slight resemblance to the late Aaliyah, sings Season 6 winner Jordin Sparks’ “Battlefield,” with all kinds of finger-pointing sass the judges (and America) love. A fellow named Lee DeWyze manages to roll out of bed in time to sing The Fray’s “You Found Me,” and someone called Joe Munoz (seriously, who?) presents himself as Archuleta Part 2.

Now it’s Haeley Vaughn’s turn. She’s another member of Team Mraz, singing “I’m Yours.” Oh, Haeley. She really isn’t the strongest singer, proving so by hitting a couple of undeniably off notes throughout her performance, but her sincerity and adorableness seem to mask her vocal shortcomings to the judges. Seacrest is sitting with her mom in the audience, and he makes her tell us how proud she is of Haeley. She’s “too proud for words,” in case you were wondering.

Pretty Janell Wheeler is having voice problems; she explains that with all the stress and chaos of Hollywood Week, sometimes it’s been hard to remember to properly take care of herself. I thought her Hollywood Week performances were solid so far, but she makes the unfortunate choice to sing Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” for her final audition. Okay, Janell is 24 years old. Taylor Swift herself is too old to sing Taylor Swift songs, so the whole thing is doomed from the start. She definitely sounds strained and it’s quite lackluster overall. Teary Janell confesses she thinks she blew it and “couldn’t take the pressure.” I’m not nearly as skeptical about her future as she is, but there sure are a lot of blondes with guitars this year. It’s possible that, with the strong competition in Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox, and Lilly Scott, among others, Janell could get lost in the shuffle.

Apparently, that’s all we get to see of the final auditions tonight. Seacrest walks toward us down the Hallway of Uncertainty, where the three waiting rooms filled with anxious contestants are located, and tells us the judges are on their way to break the news. As I mentioned before, one room will be cut completely, while the other two will face Final Judgment to determine the Top 24. It’s at this point I realize we’re only a third of the way toward finding out who the Chosen Ones are. This clearly means lots of tears, flashbacks, meltdowns and suspenseful pauses, then more tears, flashbacks, meltdowns and suspenseful pauses in slow-motion, among other needless time fillers, for the next two hours. I’m not up for it, readers, and I don’t think you are, either. This is where sticking to the heart of the matter comes into play. Here we go:

It’s 11:00 p.m. The judges first arrive in Room 1, containing Tori Kelly (another Katy Perry-covering idiot), Lilly Scott, Andrew Garcia, diva Jermaine Sellers, and others. Ellen screws around with them for a bit before telling them they’re through to Final Judgment. Cheers and hugs ensue. Room 2, which Seacrest says is “full of fighters” (uh-oh) and just heard Room 1’s celebration next door, is next and once we see Hope Johnson, Mary Powers, Brian Walker and Lloyd Thomas in there, they’re doomed for sure. Indeed, after the requisite patronizing speech from the judges (Simon actually says “Most of you were better than we thought you’d be.” HA!), Room 2 is cut. Tears and wails ensue. Onto Room 3, where Angela Martin, Janell Wheeler, Ashley Rodriguez, Jessica Furney, John Park (whom I’ve never heard sing) and company are told they can join Room 1 in celebratory glee.

We’re down to 46 contestants for Final Judgment, which involves each hopeful meeting the judges one by one after another deliberation. This process started on Tuesday night and it took an HOUR to determine the first seven of the Top 24. I’ll get to them in a bit, but the first two sent home after making it through the waiting rooms are Shelby Dressel and Jessica Furney. Shelby handles the news with remarkable aplomb, and Simon distinctly says “that was the wrong decision” as she leaves the auditorium. Interesting. Now, Jessica Furney has the complete opposite reaction and throws a full-on tantrum when she’s eliminated, which takes up an unbelievable amount of time. She composes herself eventually and assumedly rejoins her former life on Earth.

The seven contestants chosen on Tuesday night to join the Top 24 are: Michael Lynche (despite now-debunked rumors he had been disqualified), Didi Benami, Katelyn Epperly, Casey James, Aaron Kelly (surprise!), Lee DeWyze (huge surprise!) and Todrick Hall.

On Wednesday, Janell Wheeler’s anxiety is relieved as she is the first contestant of the day to make it through. We next spend a little time with 70s dude Tyler Grady and get a glimpse of his final audition, where he sang Daughtry’s “Home,” but asked the judges not to take the lyrics too seriously (because he doesn’t actually want to go home, get it?). He’s sent through and does a super-lame fake out to Seacrest. Then, Seacrest says the weirdest sentence ever written: “For most, this is an overwhelming baptism of fire into the world of Idol.” What?! Direct quote, I swear.

Anyway, that’s supposed to introduce us to Lacey Brown, whom I’d forgotten I liked, and her lovely rendition of “Wonderful World.” It’s her second time trying out after getting eliminated at this point last year, and now she’s in the Top 24 after wisely agreeing with Simon that she needed a year to “grow,” or whatever. Yay for Lacey!

Also sent through: Ashley Rodriguez (saw that coming), Alex Lambert (SERIOUSLY?) and the person I’m told is named Joe Munoz. My girl Crystal Bowersox is next, and Simon tells her it was a unanimous decision to send her to the Top 24. Of course! Gee-whiz Katie Stevens also gets a green light, but it’s bad news for a few others, namely Maddie Penrose and her glasses, Nicci Nix and her alleged phoniness, and a couple of guys I think I recognize, but won’t miss.

Now Angela Martin is in front of the judges, and Kara squeezes herself onto her chair to put her arm around her and tell her she didn’t make it. I genuinely feel sorry for Angela, especially because this was her last eligible year to try out (she’s 28). I was furious with Kara’s patronizing at first, but at least there was some effort to let Angela down easy. Too bad.

Who’s left? To my delight, Lilly Scott makes it despite the alleged problems with her final performance, of which I found none. Next, Paige Miles, Siobhan Magnus, Michelle Delamor (little screen time thus far, but she’s gorgeous), Jermaine Sellers (I’m with most people who think the wrong Jermaine was cut) and John Park are all sent through.

Only one spot remains for the girls, and it’s between Tori Kelly and Haeley Vaughn. I wasn’t sure Haeley had it in the bag, but she wins out over Tori and I am confident it was the right decision. Lastly, Thaddeus Johnson gets cut and cries in a bathroom stall with his mother, and Andrew Garcia is the final contestant to reach the top 24…or is he? In the final introductory shot with Seacrest, Chris Golightly’s unmistakable hair is clearly visible among the Chosen Ones, but then in the ridiculous individual geek-a-thon at the end, Chris is missing and…it can’t be…TIM URBAN has taken his place! Augh! Apparently Chris had contract issues, whatever that means, and was disqualified at the last minute. Tim must have done something wonderful in a past life, that’s all I have to say.

Voting begins next week! I have no qualms admitting my intent to fill the airwaves with my own Pro-Bowersox movement. Top 12 girls perform on Tuesday, then the Top 12 guys on Wednesday. I don’t think there’s any argument the girls are incredibly strong this year, and AI is not only overdue for a female winner, but a female in the finals. Let the games begin!

The official list of American Idol Season 9 Top 24:

Michael Lynche, Didi Benami, Aaron Kelly, Ashley Rodriguez,

Paige Miles, Siobhan Magnus , Jermaine Sellers, Andrew Garcia,

Crystal Bowersox, Lilly Scott, Janell Wheeler, John Park, Tim Urban,

Haeley Vaughn, Alex Lambert, Joe Munoz, Katie Stevens, Todrick

Hall, Casey James, Lee DeWyze, Katelyn Epperly, Lacey Brown,

Tyler Grady, Michelle Delamor

For another take on this week’s episodes, check out Introducing Your Top 24 by Inisia Lewis.

Season 9, Episodes 11 & 12: Hollywood Round: Parts 3 & 4 (originally aired February 16 & 17, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.

American Idol: Introducing Your Top 24

I was giddy at just the idea of Hollywood Week after the tiring audition rounds and, so quickly, the Kodak Theater came and went. It was hard to for me to stay awake, this week, as Idol didn’t show much more than stressed out people biting their nails and/or fighting to hold back tears. The producers tried to jazz things up, allowing the contestant reveals to be held in the Kodak Theater instead of some non-descript, hotel ballroom. Yet, I still strongly believe we don’t need these last three hours of boring suspense. Thankfully, it’s not all a wash since I get the chance to rewatch performances from past auditions and even some new ones from their last solo attempts. But from the editing, it’s apparent who most of the contenders will be so I want them to battle already! Okay no more Idol whining, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t get right to the Top 24.

TOP 12 GIRLS
Janelle Wheeler has endured some of the most visible ups and downs. Her initial audition was lukewarm for me, but her riff on HWeek “American Boy” smoldered. I’m not so sure why she thought Swift’s “Love Story” suited her image or voice, plus it hurt even more since she was sick. But for a final chance song, her voice ended up seeming thinner than it really was, but thankfully the judges could look past that.

Lacey Brown is probably a nice, normal girl, but I can’t really remember much about her. She put out a powerful but tailored “Over the Rainbow” during the first audition but got shafted shortly thereafter. She’ll have to knock it out of the park to stay up on people’s minds, but once she makes them remember, I have a feeling she could be around awhile. And after not making it to the Top 36 last year, in her case, the second time is a charm.

Katie Stevens, at 16, is composed, sweet and talented. Her grandmother’s battle with Alzheimer’s endeared her a bit more, and her voice took on “At Last,” a big and classic song, with such power and confidence, and that totally sealed the deal. She barely took a wrong turn so this was a no-brainer.

Haeley Vaughn made Simon’s eyes roll more than once during this long process. Her high-pitched and sometimes nasally voice can be the best thing to happen to certain country songs, but also come off as grating or annoying. But her voice is what makes her stand out, and she definitely has good control over it. She’s a particular taste so not everyone will like her, but everyone will remember her. And, well, some will love her too.

Crystal Bowersox has definitely built up a following since her early Hollywood take on “Natural Woman”. She’s an earthy mama with a powerful voice, and I love that she’s hip to the fact that she may not exactly fit the Idol mold, but she’s still ready to rock the stage. The strong-voiced, rocker chick usually doesn’t win, but they usually go pretty far.

Didi Benami will forever be known as the pretty and folksy lady who made a Kara song sound like a gold record. Though the tears come quickly with this one, her megawatt smile and comfortable presence draw me in and make me want to befriend her. “Angel,” her last performance, was not her best, but the judges know a good thing when they see it.

Katelyn Epperly is still the girl who was engulfed by flames on the ceiling in episode one of Supernatural. She’s not FNL Tyra. I can separate those two, but I swear Adrianne Palicki and Katelyn are sisters from another mister. (Seriously, you can’t argue with this.) Those Hollywood good looks will help her advance, but she’ll need to start coupling her good voice with some exciting stage charisma.

Siobhan Magnus, so far this season, has been consistently “hinted” at by the editors, but rarely do we get to see this girl go all out. Ellen picked on her for her style-less ensembles which prompted her to jazz things up a bit. (Someone needs to tell her that cutoff, sleeveless jean jackets will never come back into style). She showcased crazy pipes with her final audition of “Living for the City.” Now, she’s got me watching.

Lilly Scott gets your attention with her platinum hair, but she kept mine with a unique vocal tone and folksy personae. I’m glad Ellen pointed out that she doesn’t have the best or biggest voice in the competition, but she’s special and that’s makes her worthy. But, sadly, we all know how far the distinctive contestants usually go on this show.

Michelle Delmor, Paige Miles and Ashley Rodriguez fall into the category of little seen and probably won’t be seen for very much longer. That’s not to say that any of these girls can’t come from behind with a strong Top 24 debut and make us forget that they were so forgettable. Ashley got some screen love by covering past winner Jordin Sparks’s “Battlefield.” When in doubt, try a song that kind of points to Idol’s success. I’m hoping one of these is the pocket Ace in the bunch and makes it for the long haul. I have a soft spot for the underdog.

TOP 12 BOYS
Casey James and Tyler Grady were both in the same boat to me. I had them pegged all wrong. I thought the judges wanted to use them to make us laugh. (Not that I usually do…) But instead Tyler channeled his 70s Idols and gave a sexy-ish “Let’s Get It On.” Hell, the vocal part was sexy for sure; the jury is still out on the dancing. And Casey went from mere sex symbol and Kara eye candy to full on musician with bluesy soul.

Andrew Garcia had it in the bag from the first time we saw him and the first notes of “Sunday Morning.” He’s stayed relevant, modern and cool this entire time. He made “Straight Up” a favorite song of mine again, and that hasn’t happened in a decade! He just kept getting better with his last-chance pick of “Chasing Pavements.” He has the most fire so far, but you know what they say about the top. There’s only one way to go from there. Let’s hope he breaks the rule like he’s broken the mold.

Lee Dewyze never faltered in his faith in himself and how he performed since the beginning. His final audition didn’t sound that great to me, though. (I actually thought he was one of the ones they would let go.) The judges harped on his low confidence, but from his interviews, we didn’t get that problem. He was confident as can be, and he’ll need that going forward. I vaguely remember good things from his debut, so my mind’s not made up yet.

Jermaine Sellers scared me during the group rounds with “Carry On Wayward Son”. He seemed to lose tune and over-embellish for no other reason than to fill space in that horrible routine, but I kept coming back to his rendition of Joan Osborne’s “One of Us.” As a gospel man, I felt that he meant every word and his voice mirrored his passion beautifully.

Aaron Kelly flubbed his lines during two separate auditions. I know he’s young, and he sounds great but that’s a little soft-handed to me. The first time we saw him, he reminded me of David Archuleta with his bashfulness and politeness. Not quite as adorable, but the tweens and rich voice could carry him at least until the top 12.

John Park needs a shout out for being a Northwestern student, my alma mater. He’s also a member Purple Haze, one of the most talented a cappella groups on the campus. (You can even see him in the group pic. You’ll also learn that he’s their musical director so maybe we’ll get to hear more of his voice as well as his ear.)  He’s still on viewers’ minds after the Shania “dirty mind” meltdown although he’s been absent for the week of horror. Time to see how well that “bottom end” has held up.

Todrick Hall started out with his own comical song based on American Idol, proving he could be cool and laid back, but those memories could be hindered by a horrible group performance of “Bad Romance.” His version of “I’m Yours” went from controlled restraint to an emotional growl and reminded me why he’s good but not exactly why he’s better than all the other contestants. However, look for the boy with the cocky attitude and big smile to sway voters with his swagger, at least for a little while.

Michael Lynche, I mentioned previously, has been singled out in the news as someone who has had some “Idol issues” heading into the Top 24. Again, I won’t be spoilery, but if you’re wondering what’s been happening, see here. Throughout the audition process, we saw a big guy with a good voice who’s unafraid to try out pop songs that may not seem, at first glace, to fit his style. He, personally, falls at the bottom of the list, but his UFC past and all the attention paid to his dilating baby mama got him oodles of airtime and fans.

Alex Lambert, Joe Munoz and Tim Urban kept being repeatedly thrown in our faces (the latter less so) and then not given the opportunity to show us anything more. I kept wondering if this Joe Munoz kid I kept seeing on my screen was just a figment of my Idol imagination. He wasn’t. Tim has been pretty understated so far, not really wowing anyone. It’s less surprising he made it once you figure out that Guarini-haired Chris Golightly was supposed to be there in the first place. It looks like these are the young, fun guys who have good voices but will need to grow leaps and bounds to keep up with the rest.

LOVE TO WATCH YOU LEAVE BUT HATE TO SEE YOU GO
Angela Martin got a special goodbye as the judges, but especially, Kara acknowledged her for being brave and beautiful and talented, just not a contestant. The girl has gone through so much heartbreak; I really wanted her to make it. Plus, where are the R&B, African-American queens? (That Paige girl might fit.) Idol is usually smart about covering all types and genres, but it looks like they missed the boat with this potential.

Thaddeus didn’t look like a star yet, but this young boy could sing with all the soul and passion of a full-grown man. It was hard to watch him take the news so badly since the judges really had no criticism for him, but at least his excited mother who’s been, very visibly, there to support him, was right there to comfort him too.

Jermaine Purifoy, was no doubt, an early favorite after his early, beautiful take on “Smile,” but his Hollywood Round “Brick House” was uneven and not sexy. He’s a fun-loving guy, but he should have picked something less retro. I was hoping the judges could overlook this one, but alas, he was sent packing.

I was never a huge Mary Powers fan, but after her tyrannous rule of the group rounds, I got a little satisfaction in seeing her go. And Jessica Ferney had no off button on her begging. It was torturous how long the judges let her drone on. Then again, when Simon did cut her off, she didn’t really shut up anyway.

WRAP IT UP
The audition process this season has been almost unbearably long, but I’m digging how these contestants are stacking up. Not to mention, this is the best looking bunch ever thrown on the Idol stage. Though I only have a few favorites, there’s a lot of potential in this bunch to make all kinds of different, but wonderful, styles of music. Note to producers: No one needs hours of reveal footage. If there was tension, I’d get it, but from the weeks of editing we’ve already watched, it’s clear who at least 18 of the top 24 were going to be. I say cut a good two-thirds out and get right to it. (Not that you’ll listen to me…)

Next week, the girls perform first, followed by the boys, and it’s usually the time where little-seen contestants break out and some clear frontrunners buckle under pressure. Thankfully, it’s also Hot 100 week and not disco. The real judging begins. TO THE PERFORMING BATTLEFIELD!

For another take on this week’s episodes, check out Not A Moment Too Soon by Erin Biglow.

Season 9, Episodes 11 & 12: Hollywood Round: Parts 3 & 4 (originally aired February 16 & 17, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.

Lost: Poker Face

Just who is manipulating whom here? (who? whom? it?)

So my biggest question this week is where did fake Locke (Flocke) come from and where is he trying to go? Let’s just jump right into the cave action because that was the biggest reveal of the week, attempting to answer why they are all on the island.

So, Flocke finds a trashed Sawyer in his Dharmaville house and gets him to follow him into the jungle. Drunk people will do anything. Sawyer didn’t seem that phased that Locke was dead, and noted that Flocke was different from John since he didn’t seem to have any fear. Again, maybe that’s a boozy observation but maybe Sawyer knows something is seriously amiss. They eventually (I’ll get to the weird barefoot boy in a minute) trek to a cliff with a ladder (Jacob’s Ladder? I’m not smart enough to really understand this reference) that descends into a cave (the Philosopher’s cave? I need a higher degree for this show). Now, is this cave really Flocke/smoke monster’s lair, or was it Jacob’s? Jacob seems pretty greedy with his real estate in cabins and in statues, so let’s assume it’s Flocke’s. If so, then why would all those names and numbers be Jacob’s scribbles, as Flocke claims? Also, I was a little unnerved by the whole white/black rock scale inside joke thing– if this all turns out to be a game like in the end of Men In Black, I’ll be pissed.

(Huge side note: for a hot second I was hoping/thinking that maybe JJ was pulling a huge throwback to the days of Felicity and all this crazy LOST nonsense was happening in Megan’s box! Any takers????).

Back on track: Flocke claims to be all about full disclosure, but I have a feeling he’s a big ol liar. He tells Sawyer that all those names and numbers represent candidates to take over Jacob’s role as protector of the island. He further claims that Jacob manipulated all of the “candidates” on his rock into coming to the island, nudging them and making them think that decisions were theirs when really he was controlling them. Theory: Oceanic 815 Universe represents a world where Jacob influences the Losties and Universe X is free of Jacob? Meh? I am so confused about Flocke and Jacob and which one represents destiny and who represents free will, because I guarantee this is a theme. Jacob seemed into telling the Losties that things were ultimately their own choice (telling Hurley he didn’t have to go back to the island in the cab, telling Ben that he didn’t have to kill him…), but then Flocke seems into letting the Losties live by free will too. Actually I take that back, Flocke is totally fatalistic based on that convo from the end of last season when he told Jacob that everything always ends the same way when Jacob brings people to the island. Sooooo why is Jacob bringing people to the island? What is the endgame? How did he and smokey get there in the first place? How did I get on this tangent?

This whole maneuver in the cave was for Flocke to convince Sawyer to leave the island with him (why does he need a chaperone?). He told Sawyer that the island doesn’t need protection and that it is just an island. Ok that HAS to be a lie. The island is clearly special with weird hippies all over the place, electromagnetism, time travel, smoke monsters, never aging people, etc. Also, remember way back in season 1 when Rousseau was leading the survivors to the Black Rock to get dynamite? The smoke monster had a cameo and she told the Losties that it was a security system protecting the island. Was she just misinformed? Is Flocke really protecting the island? Did he write all those names in the cave? Are the names on the rock the same as the the ones on Jacob’s lists? What’s with the numbers? Why wasn’t Kate’s name on the rock? Why is it a boy’s club? Woof. Sawyer says he wants to get off the island with Flocke, and I’m hoping that this is just another long con because I don’t want Sawyer to become infected or claimed or whatever. TBD.

Now let’s backtrack (as if this isn’t confusing enough) to that creepy boy in the woods. We first saw him when Flocke cut Richard down from the tree and told him it was time to talk. Out of the corner of his eye, Flocke sees this little blond barefoot boy with blood all over his outstretched hands. Cute. Richard seems to not see him, and Flocke looks freaked. Was this little Jacob? Zack of Zack and Emma from Oceanic 815? Later when Flocke brings Sawyer to the jungle, he sees him again and so does Sawyer. Flocke chases after him, and the boy (sans blood) tells smokey that he can’t kill him. Who is him? Is this a temple kid? Is he like Walt? Also, why did Flocke have a momentary lapse of cool with the whole “don’t tell me what I can’t do” rant?

Oh yeah, then there was that whole Universe X story line with John Locke. Oh Locke, I love you so. Locke X is in a wheelchair like pre-crash Oceanic 815 Locke, but his circumstances seem pretty different. He is still engaged to Helen, he has a good (or at least functional) relationship with his father (so how did he get in a wheelchair if he didn’t push him out a window? what does that mean for Sawyer if Cooper never conned his Mama?), and seems to have a more realistic attitude about his condition. He still has some moments like the old Locke, trying to get Rose (of course she runs the temp agency) to match him with a construction job to prove that he doesn’t have limitations with his handicap, but with some tough love from Bernard’s better half, he seems to be at peace with his situation.

This episode was titled “The Substitute,” which I guess is the antithesis of the Candidate. Locke’s body was the substitute for the smoke monster, which maybe he was destined to become since he played the role of a substitute in other ways– as the leader of the Others, as a teacher…that’s all I got so maybe not. So smokey needs substitutes and Jacob needs candidates. It all seems a little codependent for people (?) preaching about free will and choices.

I don’t even know where to leave off here because I felt like I was being lied to the whole episode… but I will say this, have we ended the days on LOST where Ben is the master manipulator? I never thought I’d see the day where Ben doesn’t have a plan but that might just be where we are. His eulogy for Locke was heartfelt and hilarious when he coolly admitted murdering John. But maybe he still has one trick up his sleeve since everyone thinks that Flocke killed Jacob, not Ben. Is this going to be important for anyone but Flocke?

Next week I hope we get into what the hell Claire has been doing for three years… hopefully picking up where Rousseau left off because she was tres entertaining, and I miss her dearly.

For another opinion on this episode, check out You Can’t Tell Me What To Do! by Bilal Mian.

Season 6 Episode 4: The Substitute (Originally Aired February 16, 2010)

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC and Mario Perez

Lost: You Can’t Tell Me What To Do!

This week on Lost John Locke tells us we can’t tell him what to do and a possible start of the apocalypse?

Tonight’s episode of Lost brings us a new Locke-centric episode. Awesome, I say! Locke is easily one of my favorite characters on the show with his mysteriousness and nonchalant attitude. Terry O’Quinn’s performances are so widespread that he has now shown us three different sides of his character and each one is terrific. We have island Locke, a man of faith, alternate reality Locke, a man of science, and Flocke, no idea who he is, but each one brings a whole new aspect to the character that I have grown to love.

So let’s start with Locke’s alternate reality where the theme seems to be what John Locke can and cannot do. Locke has been defined throughout the series as an adventurous free spirited man. Living confined to his wheelchair, Locke is sick and tired of wishing and wondering what his life would be outside of the chair. What if I could walk? What if I was free? What if I was normal?

In the alternate reality Locke is engaged to his love Helen with their wedding approaching in a few months. It’s nice to see Locke with someone who cares for him. After seeing him alone and taken advantage of by his father in the flashbacks, it brings a smile to my face seeing Locke have someone who’s there for him.

Helen finds the card that Jack offered to Locke for a free consultation and it becomes clear that this Locke is a man of science and his counterpart, Helen, is a woman of faith. Locke believes that it is impossible to be helped, even by Jack. Seeing Jack would cause false hope and more disappointment. Helen suggests that his meeting with Jack at baggage claim was destiny and Locke should go see him for a consultation.

At work Locke is fired for never showing up to the conference in Australia that work paid for. Poor Locke, that’s the last thing you want to happen before your wedding. Luckily for him he bumps into the owner of the company, Hugo Reyes. Oh snap! These Losties seem to be more connected than Siamese twins. Hugo gives Locke a number to call for a temp agency that he owns. Hugo promises that he’ll get Locke a new job. Hugo appears to be a lot more confident in this reality. To be truthful, he’s kind of a badass.

Locke heads over to the temp agency where he meets Rose. Now I find this encounter to be one of destiny. Rose, who suffers from cancer, was the only other person to be healed of a previous ailment on the island. Locke seeks a job at a construction site, but Rose makes him come to his senses by telling him he needs to stop thinking he can do what a normal person does. Rose wasted her life worrying about her cancer, but once she came to terms with it she got on with living. This leaves Locke with something to think about.

Back home with Helen, Locke admits to being fired. As he admits the consequences for his actions, the doorbell rings with Locke’s lost luggage. Locke tells Helen to look inside where she finds a collection of hunting knives. Admitting he went to Australia for a walk-about, but was rejected due to his handicap, Locke says he is sick and tired of imagining what his life would be without the wheelchair. “I can’t walk down the aisle with you. You shouldn’t hope for it,” Locke says to her causing my poor little heart to feel for the man.  Helen rips up Jack’s card saying that miracles do exist, but all she ever was waiting for was Locke.

The alternate reality sequences come to an end where it seems that Locke has accepted his condition, like Rose has hers, and moved on with his life. He has accepted a substitute teacher position for the school system where he is seen leading a gym and health class. Upon arriving at the teacher’s lounge for his break, Locke runs into none other than Benjamin Linus, a European History teacher. They share a moment causing a friendship to strike out between the two. Awkwarddddddd…..

The amount of people connected to John’s alternate reality is a bit freaky in my opinion. I still don’t have a full opinion/theory on what this reality represents. My personal theory is the alternate reality serves as an epilogue for the show. What happens if the island sinks and time itself resets. However, as much as I want to believe this theory, the on-island occurrences during this episode might possibly prove this little idea wrong.

The beach section was short in today’s episode. Ilana, Frank, Sun, and Ben bury Locke’s body at the cemetery the Losties created in season one. Ben decides to say a small speech. “Locke was a believer, a man of faith, a much better man than I will ever be, and I’m very sorry that I murdered him.” Frank sums up the scene really well with, “This is the weirdest damned funeral I’ve been to.”

The on-island portion with Locke and Sawyer starts off with a pretty awesome POV of the smoke monster. Smokie is traveling across the island, takes a stop at the Dharma village where he hears music playing, and finally heads back into the jungle where he turns into Flocke (fake Locke). He cuts down Richard from a trap as if he were a stockpile of supplies kept for safekeeping.

Flocke tries to persuade Richard to come with him and help out his cause. He tells Richard that Jacob never treated him well since Richard seemed to be out of the loop on everything that was going on around the island. Richard rejects the offer. To be honest, I don’t think this Flocke is a bad man. I feel as if he is just someone who is sick and tired of being on the island and wants to get off.  A gut feeling here, but I feel that Richard made a mistake in not going with him.

As Flocke is about to leave, a random boy appears off in the distance that only he can see. It seems to spook him. However, Richard was unable to see the child.

Flocke takes off back to the Dharma Village and finds a heavily drinking Sawyer not giving a damn about anything anymore. Hell, he isn’t even spooked to see Locke’s body walking around when he knows Locke is dead. Sawyer quickly picks up that whoever it is, it’s not the real Locke.  Sawyer remarks that John was always scared. Flocke isn’t.

Getting to the point Flocke says he can answer the most important question in the world. ”Why are you on the island?”

Sawyer’s response; plane crashed, raft blew up, and helicopter was one person too heavy, made me laugh and feel terrible at the same time. Never realized how unfortunate his luck has been since he landed on the island. Flocke says he’ll show Sawyer why he is here.

The two head off into the jungle, but soon encounter the little boy Flocke saw earlier. Unlike Richard, Sawyer sees him. Who on earth is this kid? A manifestation of the island? Maybe. I’m leaning towards it being Aaron. That boy has some scary fortune told about him in season one and that has yet to resurface.

Flocke takes off after the boy who gives him a message before he disappears. “You know the rules. You can’t kill him.” Who can’t Flocke kill? Jacob’s dead. Right? Is he talking about Sawyer? WHAT’S GOING ON? Flocke responds with Locke’s infamous line. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

While Flocke is off yelling at little boys, Richard meets with Sawyer telling him to run. Richard informs Sawyer that Flocke wants all of them dead. Flocke is heard approaching causing to Richard skitter off into the forest like a scared rat. When asked by Sawyer what happened to the kid, Flocke responds, “What kid?”

The odd duo continues to trek through the jungle when Sawyer makes a reference to Of Mice and Men’s ending. Thanks for the spoiler warning. Ruining the book and everything for me. Sawyer pulls out a gun and asks who Flocke is. Flocke responds that he is someone that has been trapped so long that he no longer knows what it means to be free. He knows all emotion and also has lost someone he loved. Who knows if this is true or not, but the man/god/smoke monster really knows how to connect with Sawyer.

Sawyer puts away the gun and the two continue to walk till they approach a cliff-side. After scaling the side they enter a cave at the base of the cliff. Inside Flocke shows Sawyer crossed out names and numbers that Jacob has written on the walls. The names left uncrossed along with their numbers -

4 – Locke

8 – Reyes

15 – Ford

16 – Jarrah

23 – Shepard

42 – Kwon (Either Jin or Sun)

Oh snap! The Numbers!

Flocke tells Sawyer Jacob died yesterday. Jacob spent his time meeting each person in his or her pre-island life and manipulated their lives in way that pushed them to the island. Each of the people selected have become a candidate. Jacob believed he was the protector of the island.

Flocke says that each candidate has three choices. One, do nothing. Two, become the new Jacob and the protector of the island. Three, Just go. Get the hell off the island and never look back. Flocke asks James if he is ready to go home and gets a hell yes from Sawyer to bring the episode to an end.

——

My Apocalypse Theory: Many of you might not realize, but the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 were part of the Valenzetti Equation. The equation is supposed to predict the time of human extinction. So my theory is if the candidates are all killed, then Flocke goes free and will be able to destroy the world. I believe he is not able to kill the candidates as the little boy stated, so he plans to cause a schism between two sides and lead them to kill each other.

Got a Theory??? Share it in the comments section.

For another opinion on this episode, check out Poker Face by Liz Cooper.

Season 6 Episode 4: The Substitute (Originally Aired February 16, 2010)

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC and Mario Perez.

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