Beyond Words: A Backstage Pass

Poptimal.com was lucky enough to nab an exclusive invite to the pre-press panel of Beyond Words, an event held at the Writers Guild Theatre in Beverly Hills, California.   The panel brought together the writers of 2009’s critical and box office hits, all nominees at this year’s Writers Guild Awards for a discussion with moderator Judd Apatow.

These are the talented writers that spend endless hours crafting the perfect scene, from the hilarious drunken montage of The Hangover to the gut wrenching domestic violence in Precious to the never before seen world of Pandora in the blockbuster phenomenon Avatar.

Among the many prestigious writers in attendance were Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner, writers of Up in the Air; the hilarious duo that brought you The Hangover, Jon Lucas and Scott Moore; Alex Kurtzman, one of the co-writers of the successful Star Trek reboot; Scott Neustader, one of the co-writers of the rom/com (500) Days of Summer; and Mark Boal, who wrote the gripping Iraqi war drama The Hurt Locker.

As the writers mingled, introducing themselves and celebrating an amazing year in film, I caught up with Geoffrey Fletcher, the extremely talented and gracious screenwriter of Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire who seemed thrilled to be there.

Using Sapphire’s novel as a blueprint, Fletcher crafted the heartbreaking story of a pregnant teenager abused by both her parents and struggling to break free, find love and acceptance. Fletcher was still taking in the success of his film. He said it felt strange to be there with some of Hollywood’s biggest and brightest.

“It’s odd,” he said. “I always think that these people exist primarily in a separate dimension, and then when I see that they’re real, it’s like I know they’re standing there and it looks just like them so it’s setting in slowly but in a nice way.”

Fletcher, who graduated from Harvard and New York University’s Tisch Graduate Film Program, had written several scripts but Precious was his first to make it to the big screen.

“This was the first one that really got a budget behind it and got produced on any kind of scale.”

No one was more surprised by the film’s phenomenal reception than Fletcher.

“I was surprised by just about everything on this journey with Precious,” Fletcher tells Poptimal. “Early on, the only thing I was sure about was that I cared about the character. I really saw a lot of possibilities for the way this story could be told cinematically, but beyond that I didn’t know if it would get made and if it got made, I didn’t know if it would be seen, and even then, I didn’t know how widely it would get seen.”

Scott Cooper, another new screenwriter to break through this year wrote and directed Crazy Heart, the tale of a washed up country singer forced to reevaluate his life after a failed relationship. Cooper is new to writing, having had a successful career as an actor. He even juggled his editing duties on Crazy Heart, while filming Get Low starring Robert Duvall, Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek; it’s scheduled to be released later this year. Cooper says he’s be an actor first and foremost, but this film, four years in the making was, “the most rewarding artistic experience of my life.”

Cooper said that casting Jeff Bridges in the role of Bad Blake was the key ingredient, and Bridges is  now the frontrunner for Best Actor in this year’s Oscar race.

“I knew when I got Jeff Bridges for the role that there was going to be some magic,” Cooper said. “But then the rest of it came together, so I’m surprised and I’m not surprised because I knew what I was getting in the dailies.”

Definitely not a newbie nor surprised by his film’s runaway success, is James Cameron, director of one of the most successful films of all time, this year’s Avatar. Cameron was happy to reminisce about his passion project that’s been almost ten years in the making.

He spoke about the evolution of his script from stage to screen. He said many characters had much more depth in the script but time constraints made it impossible to translate everything into the final cut.

“Sigourney’s character was more developed. She worked at a school and there was a massacre at the school.  It was all there. We shot it but it didn’t make it in.” Cameron explained.  “But you know, that’s what happens. And you know I’m sure there’s a lot of writers in this room who moan and whine and complain that their best shots ended up on the editing room floor. I can’t whine because I was also the editor.”

Cameron said this film was a test for him, as the director, to create the movie he believed in. He said it meant improvising daily on set and he talked about one pivotal scene that he wrote only a few hours before he shot it.

“I wrote it at lunch the day we shot it. It’s the scene where Jake’s in the comp shack before they go out to fight the battle and the others sort of feel like they’ve lost all hope and he (Jake) says, ‘I’ve got friends out there, two thousand warriors. We fly these mountains. They come up here and their instruments won’t work. Their missiles won’t work. They bring the fight to us and we have the home field advantage.’ That whole speech was written about an hour before we shot it. It showed the character being a leader. He was able to create hope for his comrades in arms. It made the other scenes fall away because you realized you didn’t need them anymore. That’s what’s good about having the writer right there with you,” Cameron said speaking as both the writer and director of the film.

Cameron’s last hugely successful film Titanic clocked in at over three hours, but he said that the draft he turned in for Avatar was 148 pages which he thought would be the perfect length for a two and a half hour movie. It wasn’t.

“I took 34 pages out of the script in the editing process and that’s a mistake I’m not going to make again. I’ve given everybody at Twentieth Century Fox absolute permission to shoot me in the head if I bring in a script over hundred and ten pages. That should track to two and a half hours. I call it Epic Light,” he joked.

A known perfectionist, Cameron praised the artists who brought his visionary film to life but said at one point he had to take the reigns himself.

“There was one creature they never got which I eventually designed myself,” Cameron revealed. “They got 98 percent, but I did have to get my hands in there and design the rest.  It was described as a shiny armored, six legged black panther and I got exactly that and it didn’t work or I got some dinosaur.”

Most times writers get no glory so it was an incredible opportunity to hear how these artists have been inspired and will continue to inspire audiences.

Fletcher offered words of advice for any Poptimal readers who they themselves aspire to be Hollywood’s next great scribe.

“Never stop writing, and try every door because you never know.  There are people in this industry you may know and they may not be able to help you for one reason or another. They may be trying to help themselves. And then sometime a stranger will give you a chance, and the only thing I’ve learned from that is to try everything. Just as important- keep writing because even if someone is in a position to help you, if you don’t give them a piece of material that is compelling, no one can do anything for you.”

Poptimal will continue to spotlight these talented scribes, so be sure to check back this weekend when we have in depth coverage of the Writers Guild Awards on both the East and West Coast.

Photos Taken By Simone Collins.  Copyright Poptimal.com

Jone Dome: Taylor Swift, Really? Where’s Kanye When You Need Him?

Season 2 Episode 11: Ference and Sebastian discuss the Grammy’s, talk about how bad Taylor Swift is, and why their Twitter Account was suspended.

Co-hosting this episode with Ference is Sebastian.

Show Credits:

Written & hosted by: Ference and Sebastian

Produced & Edited by: Zuberi B. Williams
Venue: Poptimal Studios (Silver Spring)
Intro: Stone Temple Pilots (Dead & Bloated)

Leopold Bros. Distillery

Subscribe to Itunes Podcast

(If the show does not play using the link at the bottom of the page, you can download it: Download|Podcast Alley)

Feature Photo date: 31 January 2010 Photo by Michael Caulfield – © WireImage.com – Image courtesy Imbdpro.com

T. Dubb is a lover of the arts and enjoys drawing, listening to music, and watching movies in her spare time. Originally from Los Angeles, she currently resides in Davis, CA.

The Bachelor: Facebook Ruins Lives.

If all those hours of your life that have been lost to stalking wasn’t reason enough to curse Facebook, now we know that it can destroy your chances at true love.

Just kidding! But really not. Ali (rumored to work for the networking juggernaut) whined her way into Bachelor weirdtown again this week when she called Jake and asked him to let her come back. Before we get into that (staged?) drama (does Ali live in a hotel?), let’s have a moment for Gia.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :{ (sad duck-lips face)

I’m heartbroken. I loved Gia. She was the nicest of the girls (sometimes I want to smack Tenley’s perky little bunny face) and the most normal, according to my sources (read: this week’s issue of US Weekly). At this point, I hope Jake does pick Vienna if he is stupid enough to let Gia go. She was so fun during their shopping date, and didn’t cringe at Jake’s Caucasian Rhythm Disorder (CRD) or that heinous necklace he bought her… which she turned into a bracelet– how resourceful! Even though Jake sucks and I hate him now, Gia was very classy (excluding her Forever 21 dress) during her exit and told Jake that she truly wants him to be happy. And of course she blamed herself in the limo confessional for not being more open. What is it about her self deprecating attitude that makes me love her more?! For reals though, I hope Gia becomes the next Bachelorette. I think she has the potential to be the next Trista… TristA, GiA… fate, I’m tellin ya.

For the other reject of the week, we have Ali. Apparently she was completely heartbroken and devastated after leaving Jake to go back to work. Conveniently, she had a camera crew in her San Fran home/luxury hotel to capture her angst and subsequent phone call to St. Lucia. She whines that she made a huge mistake and it is the biggest regret of her life, and wants Jake to let her come back even if it is just to put her on the plane straight back home. Denied! It was kind of painful to see Ali’s heart fall into her ass, but I guess it was the most responsible thing for Jake to do. He is so boring and earnest, oy.  Then Ali cried some more that she doesn’t want to be married to her job (relationship status: it’s complicated) and that a life without love is no life at all, wah wah. Will Ali be the next Bachelorette? I’m guessing she would have to quit her job, and by the end of the season the emotional toll would probably have her hair looking like an electrocuted troll doll, so I’m going to go with no. Wahhhhhhhhh, humph.

On to the final two: Tenley and Vienna. This sounds like a DC metro-area showdown. Let’s start with stupid ass Vienna because I hate her (I’m going to go feed the freezing squirrels and birds outside in the blizzard remnants to build up my karma after this).

Vienna: Well, there isn’t much to say about you that I haven’t already. Jake said he was excited to see V for Vomitface in St. Lucia because he wanted to see if they had chemistry beyond the physical stuff. He basically said that he only likes to make out with her, so what a perfect way to get to a deeper level by frolicking around in bathing suits all day and laying on one another. I got excited for a hot second when Jake pushed her off the pirate ship, but unfortunately he got in after her. Vienna just kept talking about how Jake is happy like her and bla bla trashy word vomit. If Jake is serious about marrying someone, I don’t know why he is so attracted to someone that he says stands out for her immaturity. He claims to like that side of her, which only reinforces my view that Jake is like a father figure to all these women. So actually, this is a match made in heaven for the both of them because Vienna is into daddy figures. And for future reference, white lingerie is not very illustrative of an elegant side, Vienna. Previewing your Big Love consummation on national TV in something other than your Hooters shirt does not a classy woman make.

Tenley: Oh, little squeaky Ten Ten. She was incredibly cute during her time with Jake in St. Lucia, but I could have done without the narration of makeouts. Bottom line: this is all too soon for her. It seems weird to go straight from one marriage into another, and if she doesn’t get picked, I foresee some troubled times for a woman already dealing with issues of betrayal. Tenley and Jake certainly seem like a better match, since they’re both sweet, on the verge of nauseating, and they seem to share very similar values. The dancing was pretty cute during dinner… I think Jake does better when there isn’t any music playing. I hope when Tenley inevitably doesn’t get the final rose, she dances out her feelings into the limo and never looks back. OR EVEN BETTER: she should tell Jake she just isn’t ready and saunter off. She should tell him, No. Please don’t. Because if you’re not going to offer me a rose, then I don’t want to hear it…and if you are…I might not have the strength to say no — and then I’d be spending my best dancing years in the back of a plane waving a rose back and forth, and I’m better than that. Aaaaaaaand I watched Center Stage way too many times growing up.

Next week the women tell all, and I can’t wait for the Enforcer to lay down the law with Rozlyn again, and for Michelle to update us on her current (hopefully adjusted) medication regiment. Let the sass start!

Season 14, Episode 7 (originally aired February 15, 2010)

For more on The Bachelor, click here.

Photographs courtesy of ABC and Greg Zabilski.

Burn Notice: Q&A with Matt Nix

This morning, I got to participate in a conference call with Matt Nix, the creator and showrunner of USA’s hit Burn Notice, now halfway through its third season. After enduring twelve minutes of listening to insipid muzak waiting for the damn thing to start, Matt came on the line (everyone called him Matt as if we were all longtime close chums) and the slightly creepy PhoneLand Moderator Automatons moderated all of the questions. Since technology has always hated me (I’m not a complete Luddite I swear), naturally I didn’t get to ask my question.

I was going to ask if there were any plans to do a flashback episode showing Michael when he was a globetrotting spy, before he got burned. I think that would be a really cool idea, because we’d get to see Michael operating out of Miami and in a very different geopolitical context. We’d get to see how he became the cool-fire, noble hero he is today. But I didn’t get to ask my question, so unless Matt thinks of it (or has thought of it) on his own, we’ll never see that episode. I’ll bet Matt has thought about it though, because he seemed like a really smart, savvy guy.

He talked about all the right things—thematics, character arcs, evolving relationships, plans for the future, etc. There’s a reason why every episode of Burn Notice always feels smooth and polished and that reason is Matt Nix. He wrote the right pilot (although his original concept for the show was much darker and was set in Newark I think) and put together the right cast and a great crew. Unlike a lot of show creators that soon hand off the major duties to writing teams and supervising producers, this guy clearly still plays a very active role.

Matt was also a good sport and answered all questions, including some very stupid ones. One guy asked if they cast Chris Vance, who plays baddie Gilroy, because he looks like Dougray Scott, the bad guy from Mission: Impossible 2 (he was also supposed to play Wolverine before Hugh Jackman but Mission: Impossible 2 ran over-schedule). Matt’s answer: um…no…Then, get this: someone, completely serious, asked if Sam and Michael’s mother Madeline were ever going to get romantically involved! I nearly wet my pants when I heard that. Madeline is twenty years older than Sam; she’s the mother of his best friend. No one in their right mind who watched the show would ever imagine them as a couple. Matt referred to the idea as really creepy. I think that’s an understatement. If I were Matt, I would have ended the call right then and there.

The rest was pretty much what you would expect. He promised some strong guest spots coming up and hinted that later on in the season, Gilroy’s relationship with Michael will change in a really unexpected way. Can’t wait for that. Hopefully I’ll get to ask a question the next time this thing comes around. If anyone has anything they’d like me to ask in case the opportunity arises, let me know below. Just try not to be a moron who asks creepy and insane questions.

For more on Burn Notice, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on USA

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Justin Stephens, and Joe Pugliese.

Booth and Bones – Forever Denied a Little Love?

The writers for Bones are backed into a corner. How will they get out? Can they get out? Maybe. But it will take some above average story-telling skills to keep the audience engaged. The corner is, of course, the endless will-they-won’t-they simmering romance between the main characters. Getting main characters together can often spell the kiss of death for a healthy series. Romantic tension keeps the audience coming back, week after week. On the other hand, too much teasing is irritating and more reminiscent of a daytime soap opera than a thriving primetime drama.

Last year’s season finale gave the audience a tease, let us see what it could be like if they get together. It was, of course, a ploy. The entire episode made of a coma-induced dream of Booth’s. The beginning of this season the references were overt. Long, lusty looks. ‘Accidental’ touching. Booth (swoon-worthy David Boreanaz) considering confessing his love, lingering from his vivid dream. Dr. Sweets (John Francis Daley) deciding not to publish the results of his research, because he concludes they are in love with each other. All of these pieces came together and made the audience think – this is it! They are going to kiss! Then…nothing happened. I suspect because, although the supporting cast is very good, the producers wonder if they will still have a show if they remove the sexual tension. As an avid watcher and fan of the show, I would tell them – I just don’t know. Watching their relationship develop, their feelings grown, has been one of the draws for me. I’m in the keep them waiting until the second half of the final season camp. (see also: Ross and Rachel on the final season of Friends) Others are not. Others are sick of the games and the dancing around, and would like to see the two of them hook up.

But…then what? Are we going to be forced to endure their relationship issues (come on, no way Bones (Emily Deschanel) is going to just turn normal), watch them argue, or even break up? I don’t want to see that, either. We’ve waited for so long, formed the opinion that the two of them would be great together, and now we don’t want to see the reality of their relationship. Which is why it’s best to keep them apart. Every relationship has problems, has a dark and ugly side. I don’t want to think about them that way.

The writers might agree with me, because the last several weeks have been focused more on the periphery characters and the cases, rather than the relationship between Booth and Bones. They’ve backed off the lingering shots, innuendo, and longing looks from him. I think they have to. If they hadn’t painted Booth as the upstanding, Catholic gentleman, they might be able to get away with a casual relationship. But, we wouldn’t have liked him so much. With other characters, a drunken fling or one-time slip up might be tolerated. With these two, it just doesn’t make sense. The show is in its 5^th season, and honestly I’m not sure how much longer it’s going to make it, anyway. The writers would do well to return to the case centered format of seasons 1 and 2, and let the romance and intrigue drift into the background. We won’t forget. It will be there, simmering, when it’s time to write those final episodes.

What do you think, fellow Bones enthusiasts? Should they or shouldn’t they?

For more on Bones, click here.

Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

The Wolfman: A Howling Bad Time

Now I haven’t seen the original 1941 version of “The Wolfman”, however I would be willing to bet it was better than this remake. Then again, don’t most originals trump their remakes?

The movie is set in England in 1891 and begins with – you guessed it – a werewolf attack. Turns out the victim was the brother of protagonist Lawrence Talbot, portrayed by Benicio Del Toro. Normally distanced from his family, news of his brother’s disappearance drives him home. News of his death drives him to find out who or what did it.

Lawrence takes a look at Ben’s body and finds a mysterious gold medallion that leads him to they gypsies and is otherwise insignificant. Though they linger on it for longer than needed. While visiting the gypsies, Lawrence himself is attacked and manages to escape with just a bite on his shoulder. The gypsies give the last bit of important information: only the one who loves him can release him.

*****Spoiler Alert!*****

Turns out the love of his life is his own brother’s fiance’ Gwen, played by Emily Blunt. Emily’s performance and character were pretty much forgettable. By the way, whether he’s dead or alive, going for your brother’s fiance’ is a no-no. You’d think a lesson in skipping stones across the water would be harmless but it’s quite intimate. But I guess they had to put the romance somewhere in the movie, right?

Forty-five minutes later we finally get the transformation we’ve been anticipating. Sadly it’s just a twitchy CGI change. Enter Hugo Weaving, the inspector, and his doubt of Lawrence’s monster story. He delivers probably my favorite line in the movie: “Rules are all that keep us from a dog eat dog world.” Get it? Dog eat dog? Because they’re…oh, nevermind.

A flashback of Lawrence and Ben (Simon Merrells) as young boys shows us Lawrence finding his mother’s body after another wolf attack. As luck would have it, Anthony Hopkins – his father, is to blame. Daddy’s a werewolf too? Who saw that one coming? Oh. Yeah. Pretty much everyone. He goes into a flashback or two – wait is that Gollum? Well, he is now AND he’s the one who turns out to have made daddy a were. (I bet the precious made him do it.) For fun, dad – in were form – decided to kill his wife and later on his son Ben. Gotta let the beast out, you know?

Lawrence soon finds himself in the mental asylum, yet again. They strap him to a chair and dip him into the icy cold water a few times and then decide to electrocute him, which seems to just trigger lots of delusions. After a trippy moment of hallucinations – there’s Gollum again – we get back to the plot.

The good ol’ doctor decides to prove to a room filled with men that Lawrence is just experiencing severe delusions. He is not, in fact, a werewolf nor is his father. And he continues to lecture ignoring the concern of the audience as Larry takes shape. Sorry, doc. You were wrong, and now you just led a room full of men to their untimely deaths. A little bit more gallivanting and killing, and some more Hugo Weaving, and we finally come to the not-so-climactic climax. Father and son share a fiery confrontation. No really, there’s fire. This was probably the best scene in the movie. The fight was pretty awesome and the father’s death was well done. On fire and decapitated? That’s just a bad day. But they’ll meet again shortly because Gwen manages to successfully kill Lawrence.

The movie is ultimately unimpressive with its twitchy transformations, predictable and otherwise boring plot and lack of emotions. The gore factor was present with a lot of unnecessary blood splatters and amputated body parts, so there is that. Now, with Hugo Weaving being bitten, should we expect a sequel? At least he’d be a badass werewolf…

The Amazing Race: Such that, in South Africa

Dating models?  Check.  Parent/child hoping to bond?  Check.  Phil Keoghan’s dry delivery? Check.  Half-eaten heart-shaped box of chocolates bought at 50% off from local drugstore to be shoved into mouth while sipping a glass of $12 Bordeaux as I write this review? Check, and check.

It’s time for The Amazing Race!

First, our teams:

Brent & Caite, “dating models from South Carolina”

So, there’s this.

Caite says that everyone thinks she’s ignorant, and she’s going to change our minds.  Sure, she may change my mind.  Or, she may also conform to my pre-conception of a South Carolina beauty queen in such a way that will make me feel comforted that all I know about the world is true and correct.  We’ll just have to see, won’t we?

Jet & Cord, “brothers from Oklahoma”

They are professional cowboys.  They are young and fit.  They wear big hats.  Their names are “Jet” and “Cord.”  Shouldn’t they be on the cover of one of these novels?

Steve & Allie, “father and daughter from Southern California”

He was a professional coach of the Philadelphia Phillies.  He’s trying to bond with his daughter, who says nothing whatsoever during their intro, or, much of anything when they wander into a stranger’s house later. (See below.)

Dan & Jordan, “brothers from Rhode Island”

They are very similar in ways, and very different in others.  Which is Dan’s way of saying he’s not gay.  Really.  And, in case you’re not clear, the gay one is the one in the bright yellow headband.

Dana & Adrian, “high school sweethearts, married 17 years”

They are happily married, even though he lost all of their savings in a business venture.  Perhaps he was going to make it all back by propelling them to victory on the Race?  Oops.

Jordan & Jeff, “dating long distance”

. . .and reality TV whores.  Met on Big Brother.  ‘Nuff said.

Jody & Shannon, “grandmother and granddaughter, both tri-athletes”

This season, the Race is going to try and give a septuagenarian an actual shot at winning by pairing one with her granddaughter.  Jody seems likable enough, but, c’mon, we all know she’s not winning.

Louie & Michael, “undercover detectives from Rhode Island”

Undercover?  Really?  Really?

Monique & Shawne, “best friends and attorneys”

Or, as they are determined to call themselves, “mompreneurs”.  Cause even though they are moms, they don’t just sit on their butts.  Get it?  GET IT???

Joe & Heidi, “married parents from El Segundo, California”

Heidi describes Joe as “very confrontational”, which I’m pretty sure is code for He’s Going To Yell At Me During Challenges In Ways That Make The Viewer Uncomfortable.

Carol & Brandy, “dating from Los Angeles”

Lesbians with short, impossibly cute haircuts.  Their intro shows them boiling lobsters and talking about shopping at Louis Vuitton.  Just in case you were worried lesbians meant gluten-free diets and ill-fitting knee shorts.

So, no cars this time around.  They’re in L.A., and they’ve got to use public transportation to get to the airport and take one of two flights to Santiago, Chile.  Right off, Carol interviews that public transportation to “us” is “not using the valet parker.”  Heh.  Shawne and Monique find a black person to get directions from.  (Did I mention that the mompreneurs are black?  Not that it matters, but that was kinda funny, cause I’d totally ask the black person for directions, too.)   Jordan, because he wears a bright yellow headscarf, knows immediately who Caite is and is psyched.  He then lets everyone else on the race know too.  Can’t really blame him for that.  His South Carolina teen beauty queen impression needs work, though.

Jordan is unsure of where Chile is.  Some people in our nation don’t have maps, such as South Africa. Okay, I’ll let it go.  I mean, it’s not like she’s running on a major presidential ticket.

The mompreneurs, Dana & Adrian, and Jordan & Jeff make the first flight, while the Louis Vuitton Lesbians get edged out.  Brandy wishes the flight bad weather and/or a major mechanical failure as we cut to break.  Well, apparently the gods of reality television are different than the one in the Old Testament, because Brandy’s prayer is answered, and the first flight gets delayed.   The first three teams choose to take the second flight, so everyone is on the same flight to Santiago.

In Chile, Jet & Cord learn that South America is made of many different countries, and they don’t all take the same currency.  So, the Brazilian dollars they exchanged their US currency for doesn’t so much work here.  They exchange again, but it doesn’t seem to slow them down in any meaningful way.

The first task in Santiago is a Road Block, requiring the teams to walk a cable 120 feet above the ground the length of a football field.  I did something like this in summer camp.  Only, it was 25 feet, and maybe 1/10th of a football field.  But I’ll take any cool, adventure-y points I can get.

Female Jordan and Caite make it across with few problems, being small, adventurous and generally good-natured about physical tasks.  The larger men who take it for their team do not fare as well.  In particular, Adrian falls off the rope and has to be rescued, i.e., someone has to go out and bring him back. He has to do it again.  He falls again. Also, Brandy shakes like crazy the entire way across.

Male Jordan (of the yellow headscarf) repeatedly yells “I love you, bro” to Dan during the task, which I’ve never heard any person say unironically.

Next task: Painted House.  No catch here; the clue calls for them to paint the exterior of a house, by matching paint in a paint can to the color of the exterior of a home.  Awesomely, Steve and Allie end up wandering to a random house, going indoors, and painting the interiors.  This leaves the workers already painting the interior a little amused.  But Steve and Allie figure it out soon enough.

In a triumph for fame whores everywhere, Jeff & Jordan take first, and Brent & Caite come in second.  However, due to an FTR (Failure To Read), the team takes a 30 minute penalty because they didn’t take a funicular to the second clue.  Monique & Shawne take second.  Jet & Cord take third (how did they catch up so fast?), Dan & Jordan would’ve been fourth but they lost a paintbrush, so Steve & Allie take fourth and Joe & Heidi take fifth. Carol & Brandy take sixth, Brent & Caite’s penalty runs out and they take seventh.  Dan & Jordan, eighth, Louie & Michael, ninth, and Jody and Shannon pull up the rear at tenth.

Which leaves Dana and Adrian to be eliminated.  Good thing their marriage is happy, huh?

Season 16, Episode 1: Nanna Is Kickin’ Your Butt (originally aired February 14, 2010)

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS.

Photographs courtesy of CBS, Monty Brinton, and Sonja Flemming.

Supernatural: Feed Your Cravings

Grab your forks and knives people, because this Valentine’s Day Supernatural is feeding all kinds of cravings. Food? You got it. Alcohol? Okay! Blood and flesh? Why not?

The episode starts with the epitome of cheesy as a nerdy couple, Alice and Russell, conclude what seems to have been a good date. Very quickly they go from humble to horny. Appropriately relocated to the kitchen, they begin clawing at each other’s clothing, and in a weird turn of events, skin. Blood spatters and it is cannibalism at its finest. We shift from night to day and Sam arrives on the scene only to learn the couple have eaten each other to death. (I will not make innuendos. I will not make innuendos. I will not make innuendos…) Creepy factor: Russell was still chewing when his body was found. Gross!

In another part of town, two men are in an office working late on a project, one badgering the other about how “whipped” his wife has him. Said wife shows up angry, wondering where he’s been. The man’s colleague starts to tease again but there will be none of that! One bullet shot and he’s dead. Psycho alert! The couple embrace, reflecting on how there will always be something that keeps them apart. Those darned things like work, family, and sleep. But there’s one way to be together forever. And another two bite the dust…

Well now that things are weird, Sam and Dean decide to investigate the body parts of the psycho couple. It’s Valentine’s Day, or as Sam says Dean calls it “Unattached Drifter Christmas”, so Dean playfully pushes the detached heart toward his brother: “Be my valentine?” Silly Dean. (I’ll be your valentine!) Upon finding angelic markings on the heart, Dean calls Castiel for help and he appears. No, literally. Indeed they are angelic markings, he says. They turn out to be marks of union. Cupids, which are actually Cherubs leave them. “You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?” Yes, Dean, that one. One must have gone rogue, Cas decides, so they go where anyone would go to find one – a restaurant. Dean suspiciously isn’t hungry whereas Cas is starved, but before he takes a bite he senses a Cupid.

Little known fact: cupid’s handshake is a hug. But no one likes it. He explains that he is just taking orders from Heaven. Apparently Heaven sets up certain couples to fulfill destines, i.e. Sam and Dean. As it turns out, it was not a cupid that was behind all the wackiness in the town. Back to square one. And another mysterious death pops up – man killed by Twinkie binge. That puts the stats at 8 suicides and 19 overdoses. Yikes!

After leaving the Twinkie man, Sam sniffs a demon and gets into a knife fight. He gains the suitcase the demon carried but unfortunately starts to crave demon blood. He brings the case back to Dean who utters the words of death before opening: “What’s the worst that could happen?” Don’t you know you never say that because then something bad WILL happen? I tell ya… After a blinding moment, Cas appears and tells them it was a human soul. He is now the angel with all the answers. The town is suffering from hunger. No wait, Famine, the horseman. His hunger seeps out and poisons the air with starvation for food, sex, attention, love, whatever anyone is craving at the moment and makes them “cuckoo for Coco Puffs”. (Love Dean’s witty one-liners.) When one is dead, he devours the souls of the victim. And Lucifer has sent demons to care for Famine until he is strong enough to march across the land.

Over in a bar we see our first glimpse of Famine – a weary old man who seems moments from death. Fitting, no? Since the demon Sam attacked lost the soul, Famine takes his. (Lost fans: Smokey is that you?!) Since Sam is too hungry for demon blood, they cuff him to the bathroom sink and put a closet in front of the door. Foiled again! Dean and Cas set out to find Famine and cut his ring off his finger. It worked for War, didn’t it? But why isn’t the hunger affecting Dean? “I’m well fed.” Show off. When Cas takes too long putting their plan to action, Dean follows only to get himself caught by the demon bodyguards.

Sam, meanwhile, fights against the cuffs to no avail. Luckily a few demons stop by to free him and he has himself a little snack. Then he takes a walk over to the bar to help his brother out. Before this though, Famine toys with Dean a little. With a touch of his hand to Dean’s chest, Famine discovers how broken Dean is inside. He can’t be compelled by Famine’s hunger because he is already dead inside. Luckily it’s Sam to the rescue. He uses his power to draw out the demons’ souls from Famine which consequently destroys him. Three cheers for Sam!

The episode concludes with Sam crying out for help in the other room, and Dean taking a walk outside to clear his head, and pray for help. As a girl whose tradition this particular holiday is to watch as much blood and gore as possible, I can honestly say my hunger has been satiated!

Season 5, Episode 14: My Bloody Valentine (Originally aired February 11, 2010)

For more on Supernatural, click here.

Thursdays at 9/8C on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW and Jack Rowand.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Dud

If there really were gods on Olympus and they were teetering on the edge of a war which would decide the fate of the heavens and the earth, this movie would totally screw us. And perhaps you think that it is ridiculous that gods would fight over such a stupid thing as an inconsequential movie. Then my dear sir or madam, such sound reasoning assures me; you are not meant for this film.

I really, really wanted to like this movie. When I was younger, I had this fascination with the Greek gods, which started around the movie Hercules (the Disney version, which by the way I still love.) So, perhaps as a remnant of that fascination I thought this movie had the potential to be really cool. Sadly, having potential and realizing it are two different things as this movie fails far into the latter boasting several archetypal storylines, with no original characters and no life of its own.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians is the story of a boy, Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman), who finds out the he is the son of Poseidon (Kevin McKidd), one of the three great gods of Olympic legend. Zeus’ lightning bolt has been stolen, so he calls out his brother Poseidon and threatens war because he believes that Poseidon’s son, Percy, has stolen it. Now why he would be so certain of that is uncertain; oh, yes it is, they want a story, no matter how thinly constructed. So, Percy now has two weeks to return the lightning bolt to Zeus (Sean Bean), but first he has to escape the demons chasing him, discover that he is a demigod (half-mortal/ half-god,) train (wait, no scratch that,) save his mom from hell and an assortment of nonsensical nothings. He is accompanied on his quest by Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario), the daughter of Athena, and his best friend/protector Grover (Brandon T. Jackson),  who is also a satyr.

The worse thing in this movie is the fact that nothing makes sense. Things just happen with no logical reason even within the confines of a movie. For example, why would you try to attack someone and show your true demonic self while you are in a public place? Seriously, you couldn’t have thought that one out a little more. Or, why does every demigod have to train to learn how to battle except for the son of the god of the sea? Now, I’ve never considered those two as being connected unless, of course, you’re a pirate, then I suppose that would be an advantage. But the point is this: the events of this movie don’t even try to make sense; they just jump along from one place to another and assume everyone is on the same fragmented memory bank that made this movie possible.

It’s sad when you’re in a movie, thinking about another movie; it’s even worse when you’re thinking about several other movies all of which happen to be better than the movie you’re watching. And this is what happened all through the Lightning Thief. Camp Nowhere, Vegas Vacation, Romeo & Juliet, Thelma & Louise; these are all movies that I couldn’t help thinking of while watching this film. Now before you think that I have ADD (which Percy has but that means he’s impulsive and crafty, but that’s completely undeveloped so don’t worry about it for this film) the reason that my mind kept jumping from film to film is that The Lightning Thief can’t decide which of these films it wants to emulate. It doesn’t know whether it wants to have the teenage lawlessness of Camp Nowhere or the ribald recklessness of Vegas Vacation; or maybe a forbidden love story like those of Shakespeare’s or a story of on the road outlaws. It just doesn’t know, and so perhaps to avoid deciding this, what we have is a mash-up adulteration of all these.

Now this wouldn’t be so bad, if this movie could move beyond that; if it could take these stories and craft them into something fresh and new. But alas, it doesn’t. This movie seems to rest only on the surface, offering nothing more. No engaging characters, no sense of reality, no intriguing wit; but really it’s the character thing that bothers me. This movie is greatly lacking in characters worth fighting for. Great performances can go a very long way in a bad film; unfortunately most of the characters in this movie seemed far from genuine. Everything in this movie felt forced. The whole I’m supposed to hate you thing, the ‘oh my gosh, they’ve found him’ thing. It is all so very contrived and most importantly, unpleasant to watch.

As far as performances go I’m going to call it a wash, no one was particularly brilliant so for the most part I’m going to let it go… with one exception. Catherine Keener as Percy’s mother gave by far the worse performance of the bunch. With the limited raw material she was given with her character it demanded a much stronger performance from her to compensate. So, even mediocre wouldn’t do. She didn’t quite make it there, and as a result the character was such a drag and that bummed me out.
Side note: The scene with the hellhounds was particularly awful.

All in all, waste neither your money nor your time on Percy Jackson and the Olympians. When Zeus comes calling you can say it’s wasn’t your fault.

-For additional reviews read The Lightning Thief : Lacking Electricity by Bilal Mian

Jone Dome: Book of Eli – To See, Or Not To See? That’s The Question

Season 2 Episode 10: Ference and Sebastian review Denzel’s new movie  The Book of Eli.

Co-hosting this episode with Ference is Sebastian.

Show Credits:

Written & hosted by: Ference and Sebastian

Produced & Edited by: Zuberi B. Williams
Venue: Poptimal Studios (Silver Spring)
Intro: Stone Temple Pilots  (Dead & Bloated)

Leopold Bros. Distillery

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(If the show does not play using the link at the bottom of the page, you can download it: Download|Podcast Alley)

T. Dubb is a lover of the arts and enjoys drawing, listening to music, and watching movies in her spare time. Originally from Los Angeles, she currently resides in Davis, CA.

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