American Idol: A Shockless Results Show

This week’s Idol eliminations weren’t much of a surprise. There have been so many sub par performances to pick from that any combination of A, B and C would do the trick of trimming the fat. I’m pretty certain that no matter how large the viewing audience, they must  as underwhelmed this season as I am.  But even if it was only a tiny step, the contestants definitely kicked it up this week and gave me hope a possible star might be in the mix.

At this point in the competition, the crooners I’m sweet on seem to be in the clear so I pretty much sat back and waited to see which of the worse would get the ax while ruminating over how strange the judging has been.

Simon looked like even more of a sourpuss than usual. He’s always been a harsh man, but he’s reached new heights this season. Kara is clearly trying to to prove she has the judging chops to take Simon’s place when he exits. It’s at the point where her critiques are  recycled Simon-isms. Ellen hasn’t proven yet she had more words in her vocabulary than great and hasn’t been as endearing as expected, although nice. And while Randy has toned back the dawgs, his constant booing of Simon when it has no relation to judging is just confusing.

It seems it may be a few more weeks before the judges settle into a groove, if ever, but I’ll take contestant improvement over judging improvement any day. Too bad for the few who just fell behind.

ELIMINATION STATION
If Jermaine didn’t go home, I might have boycotted the show, and this girl has never been one to jump on the bandwagon and scream bloody murder when my favorite show jumped the shark. Not only was he cocky beyond his talent, but he truly believed that his song renditions were just a certain flavor the judges didn’t get. Like bringing Simon to church with him could change the fact that when he sang he was shrill, off key, and over the top. I love gospel music because it usually makes me want to jump for joy and dance in the aisles, not run for cover.

John’s story is a sad one because he entered with such promise and his audition was extremely memorable. It left us with the impression that not only would he bring that sweet, baritone sound to our ears every week, but he could roll with the punches and be a little goofy. Unfortunately, we saw none of this. Every performance was dull and he never performed to the level that was expected of him. Though I did feel Todrick had yet to show that he can match John vocally, at least he always seems to enjoy being on stage.

I never really got Michelle, and I have the feeling that a lot of people didn’t vote for her for that exact reason. I never felt that she was the type of girl I’d want to be friends with, but mostly because she never seemed like the type of person who wanted to open up to you. And though her voice was pleasant, it wasn’t nearly strong enough to stand up to the competition, and this week’s song showcased that. Her voice was never as big as it was supposed to be.

Haeley never stood a chance once the judges conceded that she wasn’t ready for the completion. Her often shaky, nasally and high-pitched voice solidified their case. What she had going for her was a great (thanks Ellen) spirit and sunny demeanour, but that wasn’t enough to mask her inability to really connect with a song and make me believe she understood what she was singing instead of just belting a bunch of words.

IDOLS RETURN
Danny Gokey used to have soul, but this weeks return from last season’s third place fibusher gave us Danny the country artist, and one that didn’t excite me. Wasn’t there a time when I rooted for Danny? I kind of remember it. I think his performance has caused me to block out that happy time.

WRAP IT UP
I’m not quite sure that Idol has lit the fire under its butt yet, but I didn’t want to fast forward this week so bonus points on that front. I’m just excited that good singers are actually starting to sound…well…good. I don’t think the audience is asking for that much.

For another take on this week’s episode, check out We’ve All Gotta Feeling by Erin Biglow

Season 9, Episode 18: Two Male and Two Female Contestants Eliminated (originally aired March 4, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company, Michael Becker and IMDbPro.