American Idol: Less Rock, A Whole Lot of Roll

That’s strange. Was that a collective sigh of relief I just heard? I think it was because Top 12 night wasn’t a colossal failure! It is a sad, sad night when my highest expectations are for a two-hour long evening of singing to not turn out a total bomb, but that is the state of affairs as it applies to season nine. Overall, there were a few standout moments and few terrible moments, a handful of bum notes and a ton of awkwardness (but at least that‘s the norm with live Idol). Everyone commanded their Rolling Stones’ tunes, seemingly, with a higher level of confidence even if many of them played it safe.

It’s an adjustment going from that tiny room to the Idoldome. The screens are bigger, the lights are brighter, the judges are farther away and the audience is larger. It is for these reasons that I forgave many of the contestants who fumbled at the start of their performances. It’s SCARY! I will never downplay that fact, but I expect, next week, that each contestant will infuse their performances with a little bit more individuality. And can someone get them a better interview coach! If Ryan is going to go all off-book on them, please don’t make me watch or hear endless, mindless bumbling. (Not unless it’s attached to Alex Lambert’s voice.)

So let’s get to how our finalists pulled off their first night.

TOP 12 (personal rank)
12. Tim killed “Under My Thumb.” I mean murdered it. He beat it to death with a baseball bat wrapped in the flag of Jamaica. I felt some serious Jason Castro-channeling, except coming from Tim it seems completely alien and wrong. He made a song about some man dominating his woman…light and airy. Kara liked that he took such a huge gamble with his reggae-style flavor even if no one really liked it. But Simon pegged that “a lot of people who are Rolling Stones fans would be turning their television sets off at that point.”

11. Lacey likes to sit at the edge of stages when she sings. It’s very odd, but I’m glad Ellen called her out because it really plucked a nerve. I don’t change the channel to FOX every week to watch you do the same thing over and over again in different makeup and dress. The only feeling her performance of “Ruby Tuesday” evoked was hunger. Her voice has improved in the last few weeks, but it’s still shaky. And her biggest hurdle, with Lacey, I still don’t feel like I know any more than I did a few weeks ago.

10. Andrew is this season’s Titanic. It started out such a grand journey but sank hard and fast. “Gimme Shelter” is such a tumultuous power song that it overwhelmed his voice. He seemed to have a death grip on the mic stand and played it too safe by singing it karaoke-style instead of making me believe it was coming from his soul. The judges didn’t help him since Simon and Kara argued throughout his critique on whether Kara should be so literal when it comes to conveying the song lyrics.

9. Paige almost put me to sleep in her package and with her song. I liked the cheeky choice of “Honky Tonk Woman,” and her voice gets so sweet and big on those high notes. It’s clear she has talent, but she doesn’t entertain me in any way. Though, the way she sounded, I would never have known that she had laryngitis if Ellen hadn’t pointed it out which is a compliment in itself. The judges felt it was vanilla but once the illness came up they went light on her.

8. Katie made a good move by picking what I’d think is one of the more universally adored Stones songs (by non-fan fans at least.) Again, I don’t think she can pull off songs that start off in such a low register, but she nailed all the soaring notes that followed. All the judges applauded her for improving, and Simon said it was the only week she chose the right song before plugging that he’d recorded it with Susan Boyle. I still feel that she’s a little robotic, but I think that has a lot to do with her age and getting more comfortable in her skin. Something the next contestant is failing miserably at.

7. Aaron is another enigma like Paige and now a little less like Katie Stevens. I get that he has a really great voice, but he sounds generic to me almost every time he sings. It could be that “Angie” is my favorite Stones song so I’m more judgmental, but I didn’t feel the emotion that the judges felt, and I missed that haunting element of the song. Plus, he rocks back and forth oddly and has robotic arm motions which is a huge distraction. I get uncomfortable looking at someone else in the midst of their discomfort. Not a good set-up by any means.

6. Casey was one of the few to actually feel the spirit of the week and really rock out. “It’s All Over Now” is one of the Stones’ early songs, and I enjoyed his bluesy twist. It suited his voice well, and while Simon thought he didn’t do more than stand and sing, I agreed more with Kara who felt he finally wasn’t playing the part of a rocker. He just was one.

5. Big Mike gave an energetic though not magnetic performance of “Miss You.” He certainly gets points for his confidence and being in tune, but he didn’t fully connect to the extremely alluring sentiment of the song. It’s a surprise since he’s been connecting more than most contestants with his choices, but I don’t worry for him. The judges mostly loved it except for Simon who felt his dance moves were “corny.” I think they may just seem corny since he so large but jumps around like he’s light as a feather.

4. Didi shocked me in a good way. It’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for from the girl who caught my eye during the audition rounds. She’s seemed so scared up until tonight when she gave an intense, dark and moving performance. For about eight bars, she lost it but she didn’t miss a beat picking it back up. She didn’t finish too cleanly, but like Randy said, “For the first time, for me, in weeks, Didi, you were on fire tonight.”

3. Siobhan might be the contestant that I’m hardest on. I know she’s got a fantastic instrument, but there is something about her that just doesn’t grab me and make me want to love her and root for her. Tonight with a very dramatic “Paint It Black,” she swayed me a little. While the judges continued to gush over her theatrics and improvements, I still can’t say I think she has the best voice. She can nail a ton of big and/or high notes, which got her a Kara comparison to Adam Lambert, but the beginning, low start to the song was still off pitch in parts. She did look beautiful, though, even with her huge, dorky glasses.

2. Crystal got another shot at the pimp spot and brought down the house once more with “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” The performance left me with such a good feeling which should always be the goal of the singer singing it, but it wasn’t her best vocally. Her solid and uplifting performance, though, was overshadowed when Simon warned Crystal of not coming off like she “thinks she has it in the bag.”

1. Lee picked “Beast of Burden”. Like Ellen, I expected him to join Casey in the rocker club, but he chose to do an acoustic version which I thought would disappoint me, but I’m glad he didn’t. Kara just wanted to give him a pat on the back for having barely any pitch problems, and Simon pointed out that he needs to stop thinking others are better and to break out and show more personality because he has a great voice. He always looks like he’s going to faint at any minute, but he stood in there long enough to hear Randy compare him to a blend of Rob Thomas and Dave Matthews. I like the sound of that.

CURTAIN CALL
There were quite a few cough::Aaron::cough::Katie::cough::Tim::cough that I would have been okay watching leave. Tim caused Stones fans to revolt in the streets. Andrew might have deserved it more based on his weak performances, but Lacey never quite understood how to connect with a large audience or how to find some consistency when it comes to her vocals. Her version of “Ruby Tuesday” was more apple pie than angst, and her personality came across equally…sleepy. I wasn’t sad to see her go, and I loved to watch her leave. Is that mean?

She can take Ke$ha with her, who also performed last night along with Orianthi. I don’t get the broke Lady Gaga bit, but I’m digging Orianthi’s crazy electric guitar skills. And it was good to see David Cook, even if he’s trying a completely different sound that I’m not sure I like. I guess I didn’t buy his last album either so it doesn’t really make a difference, but he’s still cute and performs like the champ that he is.

Next week will be interesting with a Teen Idols theme (a first!) that may span from the Beatles to the Jackson 5 to tons of 80s faves to Britney and Justin before stopping at Miley and Justin…Bieber that is. I love when the possibilities are endless!

PARTING SHOTS
“For most women, their hearts are gonna start racing just looking at you, but for people like me………Blonds…” – Ellen

“You did it before; you like to sit on the edge of things. Don’t go to the Grand Canyon.” – Ellen

“What do you want him to do? Do you want him to come on stage with a tank?” – Simon

For another take on this week’s episodes, check out  by It’s Only Rock and Roll by Erin Biglow.

Season 9, Episode 22 & 23: Top 12 Performance: Rolling Stones & Top 12 Results (originally aired March 16 & 17, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.