American Idol: The Calm Before the Storm

At last, readers, we’re at the point in the competition where the number of contestants is few enough to nullify News Corp’s incessant need to stretch American Idol into a full-length miniseries every week. With only eight girls and eight guys left, Tuesday and Wednesday’s performance episodes were mercifully downsized into one-hour installments each. What does this mean for us, the viewers, exactly? Why, a stronger focus on the singing in this singing competition, of course! Even though I never got to say goodbye to the time-wasting showcase of insight into the contestants’ lives, something tells me I’d rather not know who moonlighted as their middle school’s mascot, or which adult contestant on the show still enjoys coloring books, anyways. Save for a shark-jumping emotional breakdown (Kara, I’m talking to you), the exhibition of the Top 16 consisted of one contestant performing directly after the other, with minimal comments from the judges in between. What a concept! Seacrest and Co. did their best to wedge in their feeble attempts at comic relief, but the whole spectacle breezed by so quickly, I almost didn’t have time to roll my eyes. Almost. On with the show!

Act One, Scene One: It wouldn’t be the start of an American Idol episode without dramatically dim, Soderbergh-esque blue lighting surrounding the contestants as Seacrest finds a new way to shuffle the same introductory words he repeats week after week (I can relate). This phenomenon reminds me of an old headline from The Onion that pokes fun at Taco Bell for rearranging the same five ingredients every couple of months to introduce a new menu item. There are only so many ways tortillas, ground beef, cheese, sour cream and lettuce can be presented before the consumer grows suspicious, after all. Tonight’s concoction? “Eight girls, one dream. This is ladies night.” And, yes, readers, this is American Idol.

The judges’ introduction is immediately an eyesore with Ellen literally nuzzling an aghast Simon, and Seacrest silently reminding himself of his makes-it-all-worthwhile beaucoup bucks. Simon says this is the worst week to get voted off, because the golden throne of placement in the Top 12 is within arm’s reach. To have it snatched away at this point, according to Cowellism, would prove torturous. Seacrest saves us all from the torture currently taking place as he quips, “Time is tight, let’s get going.” Yes, let’s.

Katie Stevens is up first this week, and it’s already clear she’s taking the judges’ advice to “go younger” as we discover she’s singing Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway. I have an initial prediction of promise for Katie, but my hopes are shattered as the first note makes its entrance into the atmosphere. Poor Katie is clearly trying hard, but she’s hopelessly off-key from the start and never regains control of her pitch. The first couple of measures also seem off in rhythm as the band scrambles to catch up to her cadence. It’s not a musical disaster along Haeley Vaughn proportions, but undoubtedly the biggest catastrophe for Katie so far, and I can hardly tolerate it. I sympathize with her discernible effort, but this might be awful enough to end her run on Idol in spite of her demographic likeness with the voting majority.

Amazingly, to me, the judges don’t specifically mention the cringe-worthy pitch, but rather dance around other ways of telling her it wasn’t good. Randy informs Katie it isn’t smooth to try and liken her vocals to Kelly Clarkson’s, Kara says she has no musical identity, Ellen thinks she had no connection to the song, and Simon states that she “sucked…the energy out of it,” with a surely deliberate pause between “sucked” and “the energy.” Jerk. Sorry, Katie. D

My co-favorite girl this season, Siobhan Magnus, is up next and not a moment too soon. She’s singing House of the Rising Sun this week, and explains to Seacrest that it’s a special surprise for her dad, who is in the audience. Dad, unsurprisingly, is a musician himself (his Sammy Hagar hair and beret speak for themselves – hee), and Siobhan says he is the best singer she has ever heard, while adding that he says the same about her, of course. Her rendition of Aretha’s Think last week certainly had the attention-grabbing Glory Note going for it, but I’m hoping this week echoes her performance of Chris Isaak’s Wicked Game instead. My wishes are granted as Siobhan starts a cappella, and it seems as though you could hear a pin drop in the studio. There’s nary a peep from me in my living room, that’s for sure. The band eventually kicks in with an appropriately modest accompaniment, and I decide what I like about Siobhan singing like this is that her performance is completely captivating without being too “showy,” even though she arguably has the showiest voice in the competition. She sounds clear as a bell and conveys genuine pathos as I find myself unable to imagine the Top 12 without her. Randy loves her risk-taking and her apparent lack of regard for the judges’ opinion. I second that. Ellen seems to be as big a fan as I am when she calls Siobhan “spectacular.” Kara digs the a cappella, but gives a backhanded compliment by marveling at Siobhan’s success despite her status as an “unlikely character” on Idol. Last I heard, kick-ass singers were the exact characters they were looking for. Simon departs reality for a moment and says he’s “under impressed” with the lack of “moments” in the performance, meaning he wants a Glory Note. Whatever. A+

Lacey Brown is up next, and if ever there were a moment to sing like her life depended on it, now’s the time. She wasn’t given much camera time during Hollywood Week, save for the brief reference to her unsuccessful attempt to make the Top 24 during Season 8, but what little we did hear piqued my interest. Unfortunately, a disaster performance of Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide two weeks ago set a low precedent from which to redeem herself. She didn’t show much creativity last week when she chose the exact song Kara had recommended, Kiss Me, although it definitely better suited her voice. I’ve been rooting for her, despite my disappointment in her execution thus far. This week, she’s singing Brandi Carlile’s The Story, a song I recognize once I hear it, but is definitely on the outskirts of my radar. Luckily for Lacey, it’s the best performance she’s given by miles, and the judges agree. Ellen tells her it seems the song was “written for her” and Kara says this is “the kind of record you should be doing.” Indeed. Simon goes so far as to say it sounded radio-ready, and Lacey’s cute parents are beside themselves in the audience. I’m wishing she had debuted with this song and could have avoided the stumbles leading up to this point. She may have saved herself a spot in the Top 12, but I wonder if this week proves too little, too late for Lacey. B+

I smile when I hear Katelyn Epperly is singing I Feel the Earth Move by Carole King, as it is a song I know well and is a favorite of my mom’s – Tapestry is a classic album, and I’m sure most kids these days are, sadly, beyond unaware of its influence or sheer existence, for that matter. Thus, my opinion of 19-year-old Katelyn swells a bit. She has an old-school Wurlitzer on stage with he and plays it standing up while singing. This idea is cool in theory, but actually proves to be one of the few times I’d rather not see an instrument on stage. I think Katelyn would be better off using the upbeat tempo of the song to complement a physical aspect to her performance, to allow her to “feel the earth move under her feet,” so to speak. Instead, she’s trapped in a confined space, and doesn’t bring much emotional connection to the song. She sings it well enough and is on key, but this song is supposed to make one want to do anything but sit still, and my foot is barely tapping. In addition, her use of the keyboard doesn’t contribute anything – in fact, she looks like she’s barely playing it, and I’m not the only one who notices this.  Kara says Katelyn seems like she’s just “going through the motions,” instead of really competing. To her credit, Katelyn justifiably says she was trying to be “less corny,” in reference to Simon’s criticism last week, but I personally think she’s created a self-fulfilling prophecy – by trying not to be corny, she appears even cornier. Simon is unbelievably condescending when he compliments her hair as the best thing of the performance (I agree with Randy – it looks very Carole King), and the song choice could have been a mistake. Despite this small misstep, I think Katelyn’s safe for now, and I give her a solid B.

Didi Benami is next, and I’m thrilled to see she listened to me (ha) and has brought her guitar! The past two weeks have been sadly disappointing considering her success during Hollywood Week, and I think it’s in her best interest to rely on what got her here in the first place – her sincere, singer-songwriter vibe. I’m a bit flummoxed as she begins Fleetwood Mac’s Rhiannon, but as the song progresses it becomes clear this is the Didi we’ve been waiting for. I’m pleased for her and it’s the best she’s sounded since making the Top 24, but I must say I’m a bit taken aback by the flooding of praise from the judges. I agree when they all mention her admirable resilience after being torn apart last week (Lean On Me? Yikes.), but Kara says Rhiannon was one of her favorite moments of the season so far. Wow. I find Simon’s acclaim a bit superfluous when he says it’s “head and shoulders above anything else tonight” (was that his stunt double listening to Siobhan?!), but I’m glad to say I’m confident Didi will stick around. B+

I find myself in agreement with the judges’ growing impatience with Paige Miles. Simon still touts her as the best female singer in the competition, but neither of her song choices so far have proved to be the right vehicle for her voice. This week she’s attempting Smile by Charlie Chaplin, and, for me, it’s a dud straight out of the gate. The song is an undeniable classic, but the arrangement seems fitting for a hotel lounge, and Paige has a sadness about her this week that doesn’t translate well in the performance. Just when I catch a glimmer of a bright spot, it fades just as quickly, and Paige seems on the verge of tears throughout. To borrow from the Simon Cowell book of adjectives, I find it rather dreary. So does Simon. So does Randy. And Ellen. Kara, too. Paige herself seems to know it isn’t working, and musters a weak explanation of having emotional sensitivity to the song. I wonder why she would choose to perform a song that apparently makes her cry. Needless to say, trouble is surely on the horizon for Paige on Thursday. C-

Thankfully, Crystal Bowersox is next to snap us out of the doldrums, albeit with a song I’m sure she could do in her sleep if needed, Tracy Chapman’s Give Me One Reason. I feel like a broken record saying she’s fantastic, and Ellen is in my boat, saying she needs more adjectives to describe Crystal’s performances. While I acknowledge my opinion of Crystal as obviously, blindingly positive, I will go so far as to say she is musically proficient to an empirical extent. Whether or not she’s your personal cup of tea, no one can deny her talent. That being said, I’m beginning to wonder what the varying themes of Top 12 shows will bring. Specifically, what is Crystal like without her guitar? While her understanding of her best attributes shows professionalism and prowess, it will be interesting to see how she handles, say, a disco song or hip-hop. I don’t foresee seamless versatility in Crystal like I can foresee it in Siobhan. I’m looking forward to Crystal stepping outside her comfort zone, since she is a lock for the Top 12. As Simon puts it, she is “one million billion percent” going to be here next week. Bravo, as usual. A

Rounding out the girls this evening is another of my favorites, Lilly Scott. She, like Crystal, has a specific genre she sticks with, adopts a demeanor she has branded her own, and makes it work for her every week. Tonight she’s singing Patsy Cline’s I Fall to Pieces, and my only real criticism is her uncomfortable-looking facial expressions, which may or may not be something she can do anything about. I’m liking the mandolin, and still liking Lilly in her abundant Lilly-ness, but for the first time I realize I can’t picture her winning. She’s another contestant whom I’m interested to see handle the musical themes upcoming shows will have (some more ominously ridiculous than others). While I admit Lilly may not be the next American Idol, I hope she stays long enough to increase her personal repertoire. The judges like Lilly’s Lilly-ness as well, with Randy noting she is “in her zone right now,” and Kara expressing disbelief that anyone could “make Patsy Cline seem current.” However, harbinger of doom Simon despondently says Patsy Cline may have been “a risky thing to do.” A-

All in all, more of the same from the girls this week merely tweaked my opinions toward the direction they were already headed. I’m glad to see Lacey and Didi back in the game, but I remain skeptical of Paige and Katie. Katelyn is middle of the pack, and I stand firm ground in my fondness for Lilly, Crystal and Siobhan.

Wednesday night brings another intimately lit, blue toned stage complete with contestant lineup, but Seacrest is a bit more personal with the guys, at least acknowledging their presence face to face as he announces their names. Hilarious facial expressions ensue during the melodrama, with Lee trying not to audibly groan and Lambert, Jr. stifling a giggle.

Stupefying allusions to the alleged sexual tension between Kara and Simon is next, despite her claim he is “leaning into her” due to the “separation anxiety” resulting from being away from his new fiancée. Lordy. My brain shorts out for a moment due to lack of adequate stimuli, and I snap back to reality in time to catch someone referring to someone as someone’s “binky,” and Randy shouting “Yeah!” to nothing in particular. Gross.

Ah, yes, the singing competition! Lee DeWyze is up first, and to my, um, surprise he’s singing Fireflies by that Postal Service-wannabe kid who calls himself Owl City. Really. I brace myself for the downfall of Lee, but he actually pulls it off – to the chagrin of his friends back in Chicago gaping in horror, I’m sure. In fact, I like Lee’s version better than the blippy Owl City original, despite my humble confession that I don’t change the station if that song comes on while I’m driving. It’s also the most assured Lee has looked and sounded on stage thus far, and I’m interested in the judges’ opinion. Randy says the song choice is “strange” (Kings of Leon, this is not) but he “made it work,” noting it’s a “softer” song than he would have picked for Lee’s “big” voice. Tactful. Kara also likes Lee’s version better, and Simon is glad Lee’s here. Me too. It’s nice to know I can still surprise myself. A-

The Ripe Banana himself, Alex Lambert, brings us Ray LaMontagne’s Trouble – not Coldplay’s, which I think could have been great. No matter. I think Lambert, Jr. keeps getting better, but needs to loosen up, pronto. We know you can sing, so just relax! He’s a cute enough kid, even with the mullet, but he definitely sounds better if I watch him with my eyes closed. His lack of performing experience still makes him seem uncomfortable on stage, thus making the audience uncomfortable despite his vocal talent. Alex gets a B+ from me, nevertheless. Ellen also notes his consistent improvement, but says he needs to maintain his innocence to avoid becoming a “cocky banana.” The only thing funnier than this statement is the look on Ellen’s face as she says it, but the humor is ruined when Simon makes a lame attempt to one-up the professional comedienne and suggest Alex imagine Randy in a bikini to loosen up. Moving on.

My ears perk when I hear the next contestant is taking on the late, great Jeff Buckley’s version of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, but the excitement deflates like an old mylar balloon when I realize the next contestant is Tim Urban. I’m trying to think of a nicer way to express my feelings than to say something along the lines of “he just doesn’t deserve this song,” or “he’s not worthy,” but I can’t, so I’ll have to brace the wrath of the tweens and leave my sentiments as they are. Imagine my surprise as Tim sings it, well, acceptably! Not great, but certainly the best he’s sounded to me so far, and I realize Tim’s ridden his swoon factor all the way to the Top 12, no question. Ellen milks it a bit when she actually runs on stage to hug him, but Kara admits a bit more grudgingly he’s “kinda in it now.” I’m with Randy: “Pretty good, dude.” B

I can’t decide if Andrew Garcia’s mind-numbing decision to sing Christina Aguilera’s Genie in a Bottle is his way of musically flipping off the judges, or a desperate ploy to revisit the peak of his hype during Hollywood Week with the cover we all know I’m referring to. Honestly, did he listen to the lyrics? He sounds like Andrew Garcia, which means he sounds good, but the song choice comes across as pandering, over-thought and, frankly, a bit…inappropriate? I would’ve preferred Baby One More Time, for crying out loud (which has been covered, for the record). All Randy can come up with is the fact they’re both wearing cardigans, Ellen thinks he has fans devout enough to keep him around, and Kara says it “just wasn’t great.” Simon says he has a “good voice” and is a “cool guy,” but echoes my feelings the song choice may be a bit desperate. I like Andrew enough to hope he stays around, but that was not great, indeed. He’s either trying way too hard or giving up altogether, and I worry this could be the proverbial, premature nail in his Idol coffin. C

Casey James is next, singing a Keith Urban song I’ve never heard. It’s nice to have a truly blank slate going into his performance – I have nothing to compare it to, so to me it feels like a Casey James song (no offense, Keith Urban fans). His vocals are much better than last week’s display of Guitar Hero machismo (relatively speaking), but it’s a bit dull and nowhere near his brilliant rendition of Bryan Adams’ Heaven two weeks ago. I think this style of song is better for him than the Gavin DeGraw ditty, though, and that’s coming from someone who is admittedly not a country fan. Randy thought it was too “safe,” and suggests Casey should cater to his “edge” more, which is confusing because I remember him being told last week he lacked the grit to show any “edge.” Kara says she’s “kinda back on the Casey train,” explaining that he’s headed in the right direction, but he’s missing “that spark,”  and Simon says he’s “second best.” I say he’s worth a B+ this week, and has absolutely secured a spot in the Top 12.

Aaron Kelly is next, singing the second song in a row I’ve never heard, Lonestar’s I’m Already There. This poor kid is the antithesis to Lambert, Jr. for me – he just keeps getting more hopeless every week. Although he finds a bit of a stride in the chorus, his shaky start and tenuous vibrato don’t convince me of any true Idol potential. Although I’m glad plenty of dorks have graced the Idol stage (Chicken Little himself, Kevin Covais, comes to mind), the concept of Aaron Kelly being the next American Idol just seems completely implausible to me. He really tries hard, though, and I can’t deny the tenacity in his effort. His final note is definitely solid, but, for me, the ends do not justify the means. C+. Ellen and Kara both think the subject matter of the song – a third-person narrative about a father calling his children – isn’t relevant to young Aaron’s frame of reference. However, I gotta give him props when he defends the choice, saying he considers himself the storyteller, not the story. Smart. Simon agrees with Aaron, and even calls Kara’s comments “rubbish,” but my opinion is not swayed. See you on the chopping block, Aaron.

Todrick Hall is singing Queen’s “Somebody to Love,” and I’m such a fan of this song I’m honestly a bit giddy. I immediately think it’s a great choice, and a good way for Todrick to blend all the conflicting criticism he’s received regarding his desire to be creative with the arrangements of what he sings, but also the need to stay true to the original artistry. Judging from the first couple of measures alone, he can rest assured no one will accuse him of being a dancer trying to sing ever again. His notes are spot on, his range is impressive, and I love the gospel-choir flair. It’s the performance I’ve been waiting for from him since his first audition (where I pegged him for Top 12), and I can’t imagine the judges not acknowledging this huge improvement. Randy starts shouting, which means he loves it, but Kara weirds me out when she says she “didn’t know whether to laugh at it or love it,” adding that it had a “Godspell” feel to it. Huh? Simon articulates what I think Kara was trying to say by telling Todrick he’s better suited for Broadway than the recording studio, which is certainly not a bad thing. Although it didn’t blow me away quite as much as I was hoping, it’s my favorite performance of Tod’s, and with that, I say A-.

Big Mike (or “my twin,” as Seacrest introduces him, ha) has the last slot tonight, and he’s belting out Maxwell’s version of Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work.” I think Mike’s really found his groove with this type of song. I like knowing he can strum a Maroon 5 hit on the guitar (helpful in the Top 12 revolving themes), but in order to bring the house down he needs to stick with the R&B. It’s clearly where he feels most comfortable – tonight, he’s gliding and strutting on stage like a seasoned pro. He lays it on a bit thick with a couple of his moves, but overall he kills it just like he did with the James Brown tune last week. Falsetto? Intact. Glory Note? Check. Randy is so excited he’s rendered himself completely unintelligible, Ellen says she feels like the show just began, and Simon calls it the best performance of the entire season. Unfortunately, Kara ruins the moment with a truly ludicrous display of tears – she’s trying to cry. I’m not made of stone, people, I would be genuinely moved if this were at all believable, but this woman can’t even pull off whacko improv tears like Paula. It really tarnishes the actual emotional connotation the song may have for Mike, whose wife is in the audience. Instead, Kara exploits the moment for him. Sad. A for Big Mike, Big F for Kara.

That’s all, folks! By the time you read this, our Season 9 Top 12 will have been revealed. My predictions? Trouble for Katie, Paige, Aaron, and Andrew. Possible surprises could be in store for Katelyn, Lacey, Alex and Todrick. Be sure to vote for your favorites – I am!

For another take on this week’s episodes, check out Boys Night Out by Inisia Lewis

Season 9, Episodes 19 & 20: Top 8 Female Semifinalists Perform and Top 8 Male Semifinalists Perform (originally aired March 9 & 10, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company, Michael Becker and IMDbPro.