American Idol: Two Idols Return While Four Hopefuls Exit

As Idol Week One draws to a close, I relish the fact that I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. It’s over. IT’S OVER! And from the looks of distress, anxiety, and/or boredom on the judges’ and contestants’ faces, they were happy it was over too. As I mentioned in my last Idol post, this week was definitely one of the most painful first weeks in the show’s nine season history, and it’s left me, and I’m sure many other viewers, wishing for the days of yesteryear. I’d take Sundance Head, Kady Malloy and Ju’Not Joyner over these foolios right about now, but I’m an Idol fangirl for life which means no matter how bad it gets, I’ll go down with the sinking ship. Still that doesn’t mean I can’t air my grievances, right?

First, I’d like to get some of what the judges are smoking because they seemed to go lightly on some of the more banal and technically inferior performances while they repeatedly beat down those who, while not at the top of their game, didn’t do as poorly as some of their peers. I repeatedly wondered if somehow the editors had incorrectly matched the performances with the judges’ critiques because I felt like I was watching a completely different show. This was more prevalent on Tuesday’s Girls’ Night than for the fellas, but I have a feeling some backlash prompted the producers to address the issue of Wednesday night’s show, where Ellen pointed out that it sounds extremely different live than at home, but that if it sounds really bad there, it’s much worse in your living room. This doesn’t really explain why what they saw as good = bad for me, but I’ll take it as a semi-acknowledgment of the issue.

Second, the judges flip-flopping advice really irked me. They chastised countless female contestants for not coming up with creative arrangements or making a cover sound original, and then they turned around and did the same to the boys who did step outside of the box and take risks. If a risk doesn’t pan out so well, the judges have to be careful to not be so hard on the contestant because a really bad tongue-lashing might scare others from pushing the limit.

Third, I happen to be a Ryan lover. After living in LA and listening to his radio show everyday, I came to depend on him as that easy-going, fun guy who could keep me from banging my head on the steering wheel due to all the inescapable traffic-related stress. But this week, he was pushier than normal with his TMZ-style ambush interviewing of the contestants, essentially putting them in awkward situations, and giving his own critical opinions without being asked. There’s enough talking as it is, and I’ve always liked him as a host, but this week he rubbed me the wrong way.

Fourth, fifth, sixth etc. can be attributed to 24 newbies overcome with jitters. There will always be a few bombs, but never has a week been so devoid of any “bringing down the house” moments. How many ways can the judges say, ‘Hey kid, you have potential, but that was just horrendous’? A million ways apparently. I wonder if the producers are kicking themselves over this season’s casting couch decisions. I still have faith; it’s just seriously waning right now. 

ELIMINATION STATION
Janell Wheeler certainly deserved to go home based on her last performance. Not only was her voice shaky, but her body was visibly shaking so it’s easy to see why America might not have had the most confidence in the blonde beauty. It came down to Janell and Katie, and knowing that Katie didn’t sound like a cat in heat during her performance made the choice evident. It did sting a bit, because she sounded so much better the second time around, but the song was still a bad choice.

Ashley Rodriguez, don’t let the door hit you on your way out. I don’t want to pass judgment on the girl because I don’t really know her and probably never will, but I was a little irked by how “over it” she seemed during her mini interview with Ryan before her encore song and all the kitschy pointing and kiss blowing after. I know that everyone responds to the overwhelming emotions of loss or failure differently, but I would recommend she take a cue from Janell who was so sweet and gracious. Thanks, Ashley, for making this goodbye easier.

Joe Munoz was the only person who was truly robbed. No other person, who left on the first week, put in a great, or even good, performance, but Joe did. He mumbled a little, and the song didn’t speak to who he’d be as an artist, but he surely exuded confidence and gave a solid and pleasing vocal. The look of shock on the face of Tim, who was the easy pick to go home, probably mirrored mine to the tee.

Tyler Grady was never going to win this thing, and he was a long shot to make it to the Top 12 but I did expect him to stick around a little bit longer. What did surprise me was that they devoted the pimp, b-roll spot to him, something they usually reserve to support their favorites. (Or at least, people who will still be sticking around!) How embarrassing to show Tyler in only a robe, tennis socks and boots during rehearsal, make him retell the story (I’m sure for the 15th time) and then kick him off. He was going to go down swinging, though, and called out the judges for not critiquing his retro swagger earlier. And in fact, they’d praised him until that point so I call (teeny bit) shenanigans. Still, he wasn’t going to get my vote either way.

IDOLS RETURN
I mean Idol Gives Back. Idols Return To Give Back! That’s it. Well, Allison Iraheta only returned to push her new single “Scars,” and she’s still as quirky and cutely odd as ever. Ryan announced Idol Gives Back would be…back and segued to Kris Allen, who traveled to Haiti to help in the relief efforts and hug and high five babies. He’s so darn adorable, and I’m still in love. Suck it, Kris haters! I will watch you and your Ford commercials gladly. His “Let It Be,” played to a montage of his trip, gave me chills, but mostly hearing both of these Idols back, sounding better than ever, makes me even sadder for the lot we have now. (If you buy the “Let It Be” single, available on iTunes, all proceeds will go to Haiti.)

WRAP IT UP
All this awfulness has already descended Idol into madness. Did you see the bleeping they had to do on Alex’s potty mouth when he realized he was through over Tyler? Simon, I’m sure, loves every moment as he’ll have more fodder for why X-Factor will be a more viable vehicle to discover talent. We’re down to 20, and I’m already dreaming of a wild card round, that will never happen, where Jermaine Purifoy, Angela Martin, or even Chris Golightly (given that enough time has passed to clear up any contract issues), could come back and breathe some life into my suffering TV show friend.

PARTING SHOTS
“If you lose it tonight or forget the words, your career is over.” – Simon
“Yikes!” – Kara
“On that fantastic chipper note, who’s ready to get it going?!” – Ryan

“Tomorrow results, and then Friday is Kara’s HR meeting…it’ll be a two hour live event.” – Ryan, regarding Kara’s critiques of Casey’s performance

“One thing I understand is that we both were cursed with good looks and somehow you have to manage the talent thing as well.” – Simon to Casey

“You were like a wind-up doll that never stopped smiling throughout that song.” – Simon, regarding Haeley James and her unique voice and upbeat personality

“I agree and disagree with all of them.” – Ellen

“I don’t know who was happier for that to end, you or me.” – Simon to Alex

“If it was a mess, it was a hot mess.” – Ellen

For another take on this week’s episodes, check out Now We’re Getting Somewhere by Erin Biglow.

Season 9, Episodes 15: First Results Show: Two Male and Two Female Contestants Eliminated (originally aired February 25, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company, Michael Becker and IMDbPro.