Chuck Vs. The Fake Name

If any one of the people who read my last Chuck review and dreamed of roasting me on a spit, save yourself the aggravation and stop reading now. Because the show hasn’t gotten any better and, consequently, I don’t have many nice things to say.

We open with a gratuitous shot of Ellie’s nimrod Significant Other Devon/Captain Awesome doing hanging sit ups while shirtless. They are having a conversation about why Chuck hasn’t told Ellie about Hannah. Okay, fine. But why do we have to gaze upon this shirtless monkey at the same time? Are we supposed to worship his abs? Are shirtless scenes written into this actor’s contract? Later on in the episode, we get to see Superman reject Brandon Routh shirtless and shower-steamy. Why? I guess because little Brandon is hunky and that’s why he was hired! Personally, I still think he looks like he’s about twelve years old.

Ellie goes to confront Chuck at his apartment. She lets herself in (I guess she still has a key since it used to be her apartment). She hears the shower running, so what does she do? She starts talking about Sarah and how she’s glad Chuck is moving on and all this intimate, personal stuff. Obviously, you know that Chuck isn’t really in the shower. So out steps Hannah. Cue the awkward conversation and meet-and-greet!

Honestly, if you have to talk about personal things with someone, who is going to just blurt it all out while that person is supposedly in the shower? No one would do that. A real person would wait until the other person got out of the shower, or leave and come back later. And, for the sake of argument, let’s just say I’m wrong. Let’s say someone would feel comfortable bringing up those things outside a shower door…Ellie, a grown woman, is going to talk to her grown brother about his love life while he is in the shower? Creepy. If my sister tried to talk to me about anything while I was in the shower, I’d turn the water off, get dressed, and punch her in the face.

This scene encapsulates my huge problem with this show. This scene only exists to develop the plot. It exists only so that Chuck can become aware that Ellie knows about Hannah and to set up more conflict. Ellie, as a character, acts the way she does in this scene to facilitate the plot. That’s not how it is supposed to work. Character should dictate plot, not vice versa.

Meanwhile, Sarah and Shaw are having lunch. She tells him that she doesn’t want to see him outside of work because she needs to break the pattern of getting involved with her spy coworkers. Okay, not a bad idea…but then why did she ever lead Shaw on in the first place? Again, to create conflict for the plot. Shaw takes it rather well, but lunch doesn’t end there, because the two of them are actually on a mission. They abduct a sniper assassin baddie named Rafe Gruber (a Die Hard shout out?).

Rafe was recently wired $1 million by The Ring to do some nefarious deed, and they want to figure out what it is. Because guys like Rafe stay out of the limelight, not many people know who he is. So they decide that the best way to figure out who Rafe’s target is is for someone to take his place. The perfect guy for the job is Casey (he even says so). But because Chuck is the lead character, he gets the gig.

Zachary Levi provides one of the only laughs through his imitation of Rafe’s gruff, tough guy voice. With his impression down pat and his hair slicked back, Chuck assumes Rafe’s identity and answers Rafe’s Ring phone. He gets instructions to go meet these hammy mob wiseguys, and they will tell him who his target is. Okay, if The Ring is this super-secret, super-powerful rogue’s gallery, why are they relying on middle-aged mafiosos? Why don’t they just tell Rafe over the phone who his target is? They’ve already paid him, so why…ugh. Never mind. It’s not worth it.

Even though the mob scene where Chuck has to convince that he’s Rafe isn’t logically justified, it is entertaining. Chuck brings Casey along as his associate, but one of the guys recognizes him as a sniper he served in the military with named Alexander Coburn (one of Casey’s previous aliases no doubt). Served with…this wiseguy has to have twenty years on Casey, when would they have served together? At any rate, Chuck has to pretend to beat up and torture Casey as the imposter that he is in order to save the two of them. It’s like the great opening scene of In the Line of Fire.

It’s interesting to see Chuck put into this precarious position, where he has to hurt someone he cares about in order to save him. It worsens the dilemma he is already having with Sarah. Sarah has been worried all season about seeing Chuck become a spy like she is. She doesn’t want to see someone so sweet and innocuous learn how to make a living lying to himself and the ones that he loves. That’s why she tried to get him to run away with her.

Pointless B storylines include the Buy More employees (minus Morgan, who is conveniently away for no reason) cooking gumbo in the store and Chuck inviting Ellie and her nimrod over for dinner with him and Hannah. The climax of the episode is affecting enough and reveals the secret of Sarah’s real name. Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski do fine work. Casey saves the day in the nick of time in a cool way that reveals something exciting about his character…and then he verbally explains what the reveal is after the fact. Just in case it was too subtle for viewers to understand. More cringe-worthy relationship woes follow. Color me disinterested.

Season 3, Episode 8: Chuck vs The Fake Name (originally aired March 1, 2010)

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Mondays at 8/7C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal.