American Idol: Another Idol Ushered Out

I’m happy to say this week’s edition of American Idol was far more reminiscent of its yesteryear heyday than it had been throughout the entirety of this season’s live shows.  Considering the dreck of Rolling Stones covers and Billboard hits the finalists offered up to this point, however, this statement almost seems to be a backhanded compliment. Frankly, after last week’s catastrophe in particular, there wasn’t anywhere to go but up. Nevertheless, Tuesday night provided my favorite performance episode yet of this season, which I didn’t expect considering one of my least favorite musical genres, R&B, was the central theme. Even more unexpected was the successful mentorship of contemporary R&B artist Usher, someone to whom I normally don’t give a second thought. While no performance was perfect, and most were far (FAR) from, I’d say the ratio of good performances to bad ones is the highest it’s been so far.

Now that we’ve reached the Top 10 and every contestant from here on out will be a paid singer come this summer (courtesy of the American Idol tour), it’s becoming more and more obvious who’s able to handle the pressure and who, sadly, is beginning to crack. Since the whole point of American Idol is supposed to be “the search for a superstar,” it seems fitting that those who figuratively don’t make the cut showcase their vocal incompetence more obviously each week before they literally don’t make the cut. On the other hand, contestants who truly seem to “have what it takes,” so to speak, simply continue to shine. Of course, there are exceptions to both loosely established rules, and this week wholeheartedly echoed this sentiment. For example, Tim Urban is still here, and one of my favorites shockingly and seriously choked – you’ll find out whom in mere moments. Which other contestants failed to impress and which ones pleasantly surprised? To quote Seacrest himself, “Dim the lights, please.” Let’s get underway.

We begin backstage with Seacrest among the lineup of contestants waiting for their cue. A few feet away are the judges, huddled into a cool-kid embrace Seacrest desperately wants to be a part of. He inexplicably gets Simon and Ellen to kiss, after egging them on with the most juvenile, junior high-worthy tactics possible. I don’t get it, either. Seacrest makes his way past the haphazard scaffolding holding up the set and onto the stage, where the shrieking crowd awaits both him and us. This whole scenario seems to be exhibited in an earnest effort to show the viewer what the contestants see when they walk out to perform. While I appreciate the first-person POV, I’m reminded there are still eight performance shows left this season (not including tonight); if they’re already taking us backstage, I’m wondering if the idea factory is beginning to shut down completely. What’s next? The craft service table? A tour of the judges’ dressing rooms? I certainly don’t need visual access to what’s behind the star on Seacrest’s door, thankyouverymuch.

The obligatory judges’ introduction is upon us, and Seacrest caps off this staple by asking the audience to collectively shout out the name of their favorite contestant. I’m hearing mostly a cacophony of gibberish and a “Lee!” here and there, but Seacrest decides to aggravate his tired “feud” with Simon by saying he heard his name (along with Clay Aiken’s – um, okay) bellowed in the crowd. Kara hops on this with fervor, squealing, “Simon said Simon! Simon said Simon!” Any relevance of this is clearly lost on everyone, except the producers and those immediately involved. Moving on.

Usher and his credentials are laid out before us courtesy of a montage narrated by Seacrest highlighting his admittedly impressive career (Usher’s, not Seacrest’s, ha). Usher tells the contestants he’s “going to be brutally honest and might hurt [their] feelings a bit,” but it’s only because he cares – aww. Seacrest sits down with Usher in the audience for a chat, and hilariously mimics his too-cool-for-school image by putting on sunglasses (We have yet to see Usher without them tonight. Who wears sunglasses to watch a concert? Indoors? Seriously?). Even Usher laughs at his own ridiculousness, and then informs us his new album is being released today. The coincidence is staggering.

Siobhan is kicking off the show tonight, and she tells us she’s “wicked nervous” to meet Usher. A bigger fan of his than I would have thought, she proceeds to gush at a surprisingly fervent pace. Usher’s advice to Siobhan focuses more on her personal style and wardrobe rather than her vocals – I admit, she does have a whole lot going on sartorially, but I’m hoping he isn’t telling her to compromise her unique image in order to flash a pair of leather leggings and Louboutins like every ingénue in Hollywood. My worries are squelched as Siobhan assures us she is taking the advice diplomatically, but “can’t just wear a dress and heels.” Tonight she’ll be singing “Through the Fire,” a Chaka Khan song I can’t say I’m terribly cognizant of. In rehearsal with Usher her voice sounds great, though, and I’m hoping for a fierce return to form from Siobhan. Instead, she gets off to a modestly rocky start and then just loses it during the chorus. Oh, MAN. I…I just can’t believe what I’m hearing. The performance reminds me of when the second Matrix movie finally came out after four years of anticipation (I know, nerd alert) and my friends and I simply could not admit it sucked. We were in the parking lot afterwards saying things like, “Um. Well. That car chase was kind of cool.” I’m older and wiser these days, but the ability to say this doesn’t make it any easier to accept: Siobhan sucked tonight. It’s true. Sob. The judges are equally flummoxed and focus on her prior awesomeness to let voters know this is her Get Out Of Jail Free card. Randy still admires her “courage” and “conviction,” while Ellen says Siobhan going first is like “dessert before the meal.” Kara frantically points out that she is “entitled to an off night,” given her domination of the stage with previous performances, but Simon isn’t fooled. He says she sounded like she was singing while running a marathon (kind of true) and that it was “by far [her] weakest performance” (completely true). The judging actually goes on forever, and Siobhan looks more and more defeated with each passing moment – if I were her, I’d be dying to get the hell out of there, too. C-

Casey James is up next, singing the Sam & Dave classic “Hold on I’m Coming,” a song never performed on Idol before. I like it already. Impressed, Usher notes that Casey’s guitar prowess gives him a “tool” to help aid his performance, and says forgetting the words (like Casey did during their rehearsal) doesn’t matter when you’re a rock star. My protest of that statement is halted when I realize how much truth it contains. A bluesman at heart, Casey says he is excited to perform the song because “you can’t get closer to blues than R&B.” I’m pretty sure blues is closer to blues than R&B, but I won’t nitpick. The arrangement is rousing and lively, and Casey’s clearly loving this moment in the spotlight. He makes a weird “I’m playing guitar” face here and there and smiles too much, but it’s the best song choice he’s had in weeks, and it finally matches his onstage energy and demeanor. Randy says it’s “another hot night” for Casey, Ellen liked it but thinks it was a bit “generic,” and Kara tells Casey she knows he has “more range” vocally than what he’s shown so far. Simon likes it the most (!), declaring this Casey’s “strongest week,” and that he’s “really impressed” with him. Casey tells Seacrest he’s going to play the guitar every show because “that’s what I do,” and I’m more than okay with that. B+

You heard it here first from the Seacrest Department of Redundancy Department: “He went with a love song last week; this week, he’s at it again.” Oh, he’s also making stupid faces and gestures to the camera before the commercial break. If you haven’t figured out who I’m talking about, you haven’t seen a single episode of Idol this season. Yup, it’s Big Mike, and guess what? He’s “Ready For Love,” which also happens to be the title of the India.Arie song he’s singing tonight. Okay, so I make fun of this guy every week for the same gimmicky cheese (cheesy gimmick works, too) he provides every week, but tonight I’m really forced to eat my words. It’s my absolute favorite performance of his, bar none. Why, you ask? For the first time since the live shows started, Big Mike brought his guitar on stage, sat down for the entire performance, and let the context of the song channel the emotion in his vocals instead of relying on over-the-top, Barry White theatrics. I agree with Ellen when she simply says, “That was beautiful.” Kara calls it “tasteful and lovely,” and Simon says it’s the first time he can “take [Mike] seriously as an artist,” and not a “silly little karaoke singer.” Usher gives his stamp of approval per Seacrest’s inquiry, and I’m hoping Big Mike continues using his guitar in this manner – it didn’t work quite as well for him via Jason Mraz or Maroon 5 songs, and this way he can juxtapose both pop and soul genres to his benefit. Well done, Mike. A

Seacrest continues bringing us earth-shattering revelations as he says “things got emotional when Usher met Didi.” Her signature over-sensitivity aside, I’m excited when I hear Didi’s singing “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted” because it’s a truly beautiful song in the most empirical sense. Per Seacrest’s warning, however, she seriously has a bit of a breakdown during rehearsal, leaving Usher a bit bemused. He tactfully observes it’s “a very emotional song for a very emotional young lady” as we’re led to believe her vulnerability is due to the death of her best friend. The subject is never actually addressed, thankfully, and I’m hoping Didi’s attachment to the song can be translated into a really powerful performance. Consider me among the confused when Didi only perpetuates the Vegas lounge singer act she got chastised for last week, complete with an underwhelming arrangement and quicker tempo that renders the song and performance anything but emotional for me. What happened? Randy begins his critique with a somber and gloomy ‘Yo.” Well, he must mean business. He tells Didi the performance “flatlined” for him, and Ellen doesn’t understand the dramatic approach, saying she “just didn’t get it.” Kara and Simon are wondering where the singer-songwriter they loved in Hollywood is. Me, too. Simon’s analogy is best when he says Didi’s “old-fashioned” performance was “like swimming in jelly.” Seacrest doesn’t help when he practically forces her to talk about her dead friend, and even the judges tell him to shut up. Oh, Didi, I’m afraid your identity crisis has seriously hindered your future on Idol. C

Here’s a sentence I never want to hear again: “Coming up, Tim Urban takes on Anita Baker.” For Pete’s sake, like Tim has any idea who Anita Baker is. I swear, there is absolutely no implementation of musical instinct taking place here. More specifically, there simply is no musical instinct. Seacrest asks Tim if he’s aware of the nickname bestowed upon him by the blogosphere, “Teflon Tim.” He is, and he’s also aware of its meaning – honestly, this kid cannot get kicked off the show. Even mind-blowing suckitude of the highest order won’t penetrate Teflon Tim. In fact, with such phenomena as Vote For The Worst and general Idol backlash (okay, the latter isn’t so phenomenal) I’m starting to believe the combination of Tim’s overwhelming lack of both star power and vocal prowess mixed with his palpable head of hair and omnipresent grin is what’s responsible for his continued presence on the Idol stage. He sings “Sweet Love,” admittedly on key, but he’s hopelessly devoid of any believable connection to the song. He’s devoid of believability, in general. I cannot believe the existence of Tim Urban. Usher tried to help during rehearsal by inventing an imaginary woman for Tim to sing to and then hiding behind a pillar to avoid distracting him, but no such luck. Like me, Simon has also given up, saying the song was wildly inappropriate but Tim “will smile, the audience will vote, nobody cares, and [he’ll] be here next week, so well done!” I’m afraid so. C-

Andrew Garcia is in dire need of a good performance. How’s that for stating the obvious? The poor kid knows he’s not living up to his own hype, and now he’s probably doubting the validity of said hype in the first place due to Simon’s criticism last week. This week, I cringe when I hear he’s singing a Chris Brown song (uh oh!), but at least it’s the one people associate most with a cute wedding video turned viral sensation, and not Chris Brown himself. He’s also wearing a retro-looking silver tux that, with his signature glasses, gives him a Buddy Holly look that really works for him. He’s nervous as all get out to meet Usher, who can sense the anxiety a mile away. Andrew must have done something right, because Usher proceeds to take off his sunglasses (gasp!) in attempt to help Andrew relax and show him how to connect with his audience. To put it bluntly, it works. I’ve had a soft spot for Andrew throughout this whole competition, and I’m thrilled to see him back where he needs to be to have a real shot at furthering his status in the competition. It’s a great song choice that works well acoustically (remember Miley telling Andrew to ditch the guitar last week? Blasphemy!) and the orchestral accompaniment is both subtle and welcome. His vocals are consistent throughout, but particularly strong during the bridge of the song, and the judges seem to have let out collective sighs of relief along with me. Kara says it’s “one giant leap in the right direction,” and Simon agrees, calling it “miles and miles better” than he’s been the past few weeks. However, Simon advises Andrew to work on his personality because he’s “boring.” I couldn’t disagree more, especially when Simon uses Tim, the most unexciting contestant on the show, as a basis of comparison. Blasphemy, indeed! A

Katie Stevens has clearly been taking notes on how to dress like the starlets, given her leather leggings and stilettos (seriously, all over L.A. I can’t imagine anything more uncomfortable than skintight leather pants in the 80-degree sun, but apparently that’s just me). Unfortunately, she also decided to take notes on how to dress like Paige Miles and threw on a pair of culottes over the ensemble. Whoever’s letting her perform in this is probably getting fired as we speak. All right, with the unadulterated snark out of my system (for now), we can focus on Katie’s performance of the Aretha classic “Chain of Fools.” In short? Eh. Her pitch is undoubtedly improved, but the pageant pouts are just as unbearable, and I’m fighting the urge to watch through my fingers like a little kid with a scary movie. Usher put it more nicely, saying Katie is “wise beyond [her] years.” I find few things grosser than forced “sass” and forced sass from Katie Stevens is like playing the worst game of “What’s grosser than gross?” ever. Wait, I stand corrected. Apparently, Randy Jackson telling Katie Stevens she’s like a young Christina Aguilera is the grossest example of what’s grosser than gross. Jesus, he really just said that. Ellen and Kara at least agree with me and want Katie to stop acting like a little girl playing dress up, and Simon refutes Randy’s grossness with the haughtiest scoff I’ve heard maybe ever, and calls Katie “robotic” and “cold.” Awesome. C+

Lee DeWyze is up next, and he’s singing “Treat Her Like A Lady” by the Cornelius Brothers. The snippet we hear during his rehearsal sounds promising, but Usher wants to make sure Lee “owns it” and stops being so critical of himself. “If you don’t believe it, they won’t believe it,” advises Usher. In print that statement may look like dialogue from a bad after school special (okay, it totally does), but in context of the show and the rapport between Lee and Usher, it actually comes across as heartfelt, sage advice. Usher says hearing Lee was a “special treat,” and I have a sense this is intentional foreshadowing that will prove its own merit. Indeed, to say it’s the best performance of the night is a given, but, more importantly, it’s the best performance of Lee’s. It’s a personal triumph for him, especially because he’s a contestant the judges have been insisting has unseen potential, which has finally been realized tonight. Lee’s version of the song is rhythmic and thrilling, his vocals have a gritty resonance, and his stage presence has finally come together to complete the whole package we’ve been waiting to see all season. I admit I was seriously skeptical about Lee circa Hollywood Week, but now he could be a serious contender for the Top Three, if not the finale. The judges can hardly sit still. Randy immediately commences his usual marble-mouthed declarations of greatness (“YoYoYeahTheBombDawgUnbelievableDawgDopeYoDawgBombYeah!!”), Kara says Lee “brought the song into [his] world,” and it “could have been on [his] album,” and Simon gives Lee one of the most (if not the most) seriously genuine compliments he’s given this season, telling him when he watches the tape of his performance he may realize this was “the moment [his] life changed forever.” Wow. A+

Hey, Crystal’s next? Crystal’s next! Now it’s starting to make sense why this is my favorite performance episode so far, yes? Yes. Seacrest toys with us by reminding everyone how Crystal toyed with us last week saying she had “big plans” when Kara asked her if she’d ever leave the guitar offstage. Seacrest pretends these plans of hers are to wear stilettos, which Crystal does indeed have on, and is proudly pointing to. We’ll humor this until the commercial break is over, Seacrest and Bowersox, but there’d better be actual big plans. We find out during Crystal’s rehearsal with Usher that she is indeed ditching the guitar, but the surprise is that she’s trading it for the piano. Okay, I’m loving this. The song? Gladys Knight’s “Midnight Train To Georgia.” Whoa. It’s clear from the start that Usher is talking to Crystal as though she is a potential star-in-the-making, and not a contestant on the world’s biggest karaoke contest. His attitude and comments reflect what an actual mentor would tell an actual protégé, and I silently (and surely temporarily) forgive the Idol gods for the infuriating anomaly of Tim Urban. The song is a perfect choice for Crystal, and while the performance isn’t quite as epic as I would have imagined in my fantasy world, the piano is a definite success and her voice sounds as good as ever. The true surprise comes when Crystal gets up and sings the rest of the song without any instrument, proving once and for all she doesn’t hide behind her guitar every week. My only real problem is the presence of cheesy backup singers next to the piano, whom Simon also wishes weren’t there. He expresses concern that Crystal is going to needlessly veer off her golden path after this performance (causing her to lose herself like Didi, I assume), but Crystal says she just wanted to showcase multi-faceted musical ability to the remaining skeptics. Kara can’t wait to see what she does next, and Ellen says it’s obvious she’s in it to win it. A

With the one-two punch of both Lee and Crystal knocking it out of the park, I almost forget poor Aaron Kelly and his opportunity to close the show tonight. He’s singing Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine,” a song Kris Allen famously revolutionized just last season, so this kid has some big shoes to fill. For such a grown-up, soulful song, he’s dressed as though he’s on his way to homeroom, and I wish for Aaron’s sake the stylists would have gussied him up a bit. Usher tells Aaron how to enunciate and effectively express the repeating “I know, I know” lyrics of the song’s climax, and it seriously aids his performance. As a whole I find it a bit snoozy, but still light years ahead of the Aerosmith monstrosity and the country tunes from weeks past. It might be my favorite performance of Aaron’s, in fact. The kid can sing, it’s undeniable, but MAN is he young. I understand Ellen’s relentless teasing – this week she refers to him as an 11-year-old. While it probably infuriates Aaron, he takes it well and seems to understand to a certain extent where these comments are coming from. The show must be running long, because the judges barely say a sentence each – Kara “liked it,” but “didn’t love it,” Randy invents the term “power note spot,” and Simon says Aaron is the “cupcake” to Lee’s “main course.” I can get on board with that. B+

There you have it, readers! To sum it up, best to worst: a true triumph from Lee, the usual greatness from Crystal with a twist, Big Mike toning down the schmaltz for his best yet, a return to form for Andrew, one of Casey’s best song choices, my favorite performance of Aaron Kelly’s, another episode of Little Miss Perfect Real Housewife from Katie Stevens, Didi committing identity theft on herself, Siobhan scaring the hell out of me (get it together, girl!), and Tim Urban loving every moment of success his mundane existence brings. I predict radical results for the bottom three, namely the presence of Didi and/or Siobhan. I’ll take either Katie or Tim, but both would be nicer. Andrew has absolutely redeemed himself, and the rest have always been unquestionably safe.

Wednesday night’s results show brought us the return of a slimmed-down Ruben Studdard, the debut of Diddy Dirty Money (Really? I’m still calling him Puff Daddy out of sheer rebellion, as are most people I know), an underwhelming, seemingly pre-taped performance from Usher (fantastic mentor, though) and will.i.am., and the invitation of (YES!) both Katie and Tim to the bottom three. Siobhan was safe (and rightfully relieved), and Didi, unsurprisingly, was the “shocking” elimination.

Until next week, where our Idols will take on the Lennon/McCartney songbook. If Tim chooses “Happiness is a Warm Gun,” or “Eleanor Rigby,” I won’t know whether to laugh or cry. Neither will he.

For another take on these episodes, read Ten Aim to Step Up Their Game by Inisia Lewis.

Season 9, Episodes 26 & 27: Top 10 Performance and Top 10 Results (originally aired March 30 & 31, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company, Michael Becker and IMDbPro.