The Real Housewives of New York: (insert witty song lyric about NYC here)

Here we are, another season.

New York has never held my allegiance with the Housewives. Why would you focus on borderline classy people when you have the likes of Kim from Atlanta, Tamra from the OC, and anyone from New Jersey? But with Project Runway on Lifetime and RuPaul’s Drag Race on Logo, I was starting to miss my Bravo TV lineup. So here we go: here is my rundown of these nutters for the season. I am looking forward to love hating them.

Bethenny: From what I have seen so far this season, Bethenny is going to be my favorite. She took a pregnancy test on camera with the bathroom door open. Enough said.

In case that isn’t enough to sell you though, let’s chat more about Beth (I’m calling her Beth because I think she spells Bethenny oddly, no?). I have not seen the whole season or the previous seasons, so these are just my initial thoughts…why does everyone hate her? Jill is super pissed at her, and Beth had one of the more awkward chats I have seen on this show with Ramona on the Brooklyn Bridge. Granted, I think Ramona might have a few screws loose or is tampering with a medication regiment, but that talk was crazy. Even crazier was the sneak attack Ramona pulled later to try and get Jill and Beth to chat at her house, which just turned into a tearful mess for Beth, a bitchy Jill, and a weird Ramona. Seems like no one is on Beth’s side. She keeps talking about her business that she is doing and how she is so busy with it, but what does she do? Unclear at the moment. What is clear was her preggers test though, which she took with the bathroom door open. WTF. She then sat on the floor of the bathroom and repeatedly called her boyfriend (name not important enough for me to remember right now since I have yet to see him on camera) and her friend who has kids. Call me crazy, but I don’t know if Beth here is ready for a bundle of joy. That kid is going to suffer a lot of embarrassment from TMI via mommy dearest. Also, I cannot figure out Beth’s age at all. Like, is she 40, 29? I have no clue. That’s black magic right there.

Ramona: What is she on? She is lacking severe social skills and has the craziest eyes I have seen in a while. So far I have seen her pick a fight (out of the blue) with Beth on the bridge, made Jill and Beth fight at her house, fought with Jill at Jill’s Kodak promotional gig for something that I’m pretty sure isn’t real, and then then picked a fight with Kelly at the same event. She doesn’t really seem bothered by her oddly aggressive behavior though because I don’t think she understands what is going on most of the time. Hands down the funniest thing I have seen from this season was Ramona’s cracked out runway walk at the Brooklyn fashion show. There are no words, only crazy eyes.

Jill: I’m kind of indifferent at this point. She seems to have issues with everyone, but she threw a private party for her friend circle at Saks Fifth Avenue so whatever. I don’t know where her money is coming from or why she has such thick bangs, but for now she is just kind of background for me. She is pretty bitchy, calling the Brooklyn fashion show so low rent and complaining that she was next to trash, but this snootiness is what makes this show great. I don’t want people praising hipsters or anything, they “ironically” do enough of that themselves. I kind of like that she is unapologetic about herself, so there are some points. I’m still formulating why I am going to love or hate her. Is she like the Vicki of New York?

Alex (&Simon): I just don’t know. They are both pretty weird but definitely seem the nicest out of the bunch. Since they live in Brooklyn, I guess they are the outcasts of the group or something? Or because they have a weird relationship? Because the Countess hates them? I think Alex is kind of cool and seems like a real person, so they are going to be my meter of normalcy on this show, which is weird because Simon seems like he is in his own world most of the time.

LuAnn: is ridic. I do remember her back a few seasons reprimanding someone for not introducing her as The Countess to a driver or something? This woman is nuts, I think. I also recently saw a clip of her at the GLAAD Media awards talking about how she is coming out with a single? Ok, now she is just trying to be Kim. She needs autotune.  Ironically enough, the song is about not being able to buy class. Woof. The Countess is now divorced though, so is it classy to keep the title when you are no longer with the Count? I feel like I am getting stupider by writing this paragraph.

Kelly: Was she a late add-on to this show? She just kind of seems to be there and smiling and kind of fighting with people and taking pictures of randos on the street and acting like she knows fashion. Her age is also very indeterminate. Why isn’t she friends with Beth?

Sonja: Who is this? A crazy friend of LuAnn’s that likes sex a whole bunch and lives on the upper east side and attends parties and charities? Sounds like a solid addition to the show. I think she and Kelly are both into a guy named Max? Should get pretty weird pretty quickly. I’m excited.

So this is looking good. Everyone is ridiculous in their own way, but they are looking– I’m temped to say –classier, than the OC chicks. I take back the classy remark but I can’t think of a better word. Better kept?

Get ready for commentary on the downfall of our civilization every Thursday!

For more on The Real Housewives of New York, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of Bravo and Ali Paige Goldstein.

The Amazing Race: Tranquil, at last.

From Singapore to Shanghai this episode, to a completely anti-climactic finish.  Look, I know it’s not the show’s fault that the CMAs were last weekend, but between the one-two-three week punch of the entirely personal ouster of the Mean Girls, then no show, and then a non-elimination, some of the momentum has been sucked out of the Race‘s last episodes.  Plus, none of the teams are really that good, y’know?  Although many of them definitely have moments of extreme likability, so I’ll just stop complaining right now.

So, after Jet & Cord inform us that they’ve left their respective loved ones home to travel the world, and Louie and Michael trot out some well-tread we’re-underdog tripe, and Caite issues a completely insincere apology to Brandy & Carol (who can now return to their original names á la the women on For the Love of Ray J upon not receiving champagne), we are off to the Singapore airport.  There, Louie & Michael badger Caite & Brent for details of the U-turn, which Caite is only too happy to recount.  Um, Caite, it was a U-turn.  No need for such excitement.  It’s not like you won a pageant or anything.  (Too soon?)

Jordan interviews that he thinks it was a mistake not to U-turn the cowboys, saying, “We’re all going to look back on that and question that decision.” Two things: 1) Foreshadow much, show? and 2) Dan, it wasn’t your choice who to U-turn at all, and if you wanted an opportunity to do so, you could have not done the Fast Forward.  You made the choice not to go for the U-turn at all, so if you look back on anything, you’ll look back on your decision not to try and U-turn the cowboys when you had the chance.

Anyway, all teams are on the same plane to Shanghai, where everyone gets a cab for Zhujiajiao, or the Venice of China.   Zhujiajiao looks like an incredibly cool place to visit, and inspires the following exchange between the Cowboys:

Jet: “It was a pretty place. I mean, it was neat, kinda tranquil.”

Cord: “Tranquil? What is that?”

Jet: “Like, peaceful, calm.’

Cord: “Oh, like tranquility.’

Jet: “Yeah.”

Cord: “Wow. [I gotta] write that down.”

Remember what I said about teams with extreme likability moments?  That was one of them.

At Zhujiajiao, teams have to make noodles.  Not exactly from scratch, but they do have to form noodles from dough, and it looks a bit frustrating.  The noodles stick to each other and are quite long.  They have to form enough noodles for one kilo, which didn’t seem like much until I realized how hard it was to form them.  Because Caite’s and Jet’s cabs knew where to go, they arrive first.  They are momentarily distracted by the world’s shortest man, He Pingping, who looks like what would happen if a normal-sized person got put in a dryer for too long.  It’s actually quite weird, cause he doesn’t talk while he’s there, and he can’t really move too easily.  Caite calls him “adorable”, because, of course, she’s Caite, and that is what Caite would say. (As of March 13, Pingping is no longer with us.  This is sad, but I am happy for whomever was the second shortest person in the world, because wouldn’t it suck to be the second shortest person in the world, and not get noticed because of this guy?  You’re just, really, really short for no reason.  But I digress.)

Making noodles is hard y’all.  Once Jordan and Louie finally make it there, Jordan gets frustrated and has a minor breakdown.  Of course, Dan then yells at him, cause when someone is frustrated and it’s getting in the way of his/her performance, the appropriate thing to do is to harangue him because that is motivating.  As if.  What actually happens is Dan gives him a hug, tells him it’s okay, and this helps Jordan to focus and regroup.

(By the way, Canaan?  This is how you get your frustrated partner to do something, in case it ever comes up again.)

As for Jet, he finished first, because he’s “magical with his hands” as Jordan puts it.  Since this really demands a further explanation, Jordan elaborates “I’m very jealous of whatever powers [Jet & Cord] have to just control things that we feel like we can’t control.”  That’s not the most elegant way to put it, but I totally get what he means.  And it’s why Jet & Cord, although obviously out of their element in foreign countries, have the best shot at winning The Amazing Race 16.  When Caite finishes, she kisses Pingping, which is really invasive and presumptuous, but totally something Caite would do, his being “adorable” and all.

Next task is in Shanghai’s fashion district.  The teams have to choose a model and put together an outfit with the correct clothing using only a sketch.  It’s not that hard, if you ask me, but, I am a female stereotype that way.  Jet & Cord make lots of we’re-manly-men-doing-fashion jokes, and a few predictable this-will-be-easy-for-Jordan-type statements (as do Louie & Michael).  Jet & Cord work it out, making one mistake as to the correct shirt (got the color right, but the texture wrong), and head out.  Brent & Caite (models, lest you’ve forgotten) finish promptly, and Louie & Michael get grey and black mixed up, which later stalls Dan & Jordan who need the black tights.

All teams end up at the Hongkou Football Stadium for a second Roadblock, the first second Roadblock ever for one leg on the Race.  It’s a cool one, too.  Teams have to assemble a 96-piece puzzle.  Once assembled, the pieces are distributed to a crowd in the stands, who flip them over to reveal the section, row, and seat number of the next clue.  Also whomever did not do the first Roadblock must do this one.

Both Cord & Brent lay out the puzzle pieces on the ground and start arranging them.  Cord has a pretty decent lead, but Brent is gaining. . .until a big gust of wind blows both puzzles, causing several pieces to scatter around the stadium.  And everything you need to know about why Cord’s got a better shot of winning than Brent is explained by their reactions — Brent gets frustrated and goes stomping after the pieces while Cord just immediately starts taking off his clothes (get your mind out of the gutter — his hat and belt, mostly) to use as puzzleweights.  As he put it, the wind was frustrating, but “throwing a fit and kicking and screaming wudn’t goin’ to help get my puzzle done.”  He’s absolutely correct, and the cowboys finish the leg first, winning their third trip, none of which they will be going on together. Brent & Caite finish second, with Brent looking pretty disappointed.

Dan & Jordan and Michael & Louie are in a tie for last at the stadium (which really can be traced to their bad cab drivers at the beginning of the episode — sometimes it really is all about cab karma, ain’t it?), but Dan & Jordan pull ahead, mostly because Michael is really, really bad at putting together puzzles.  He does this thing where he fixates on specific pieces rather than working from the outside-in, like you’re supposed to on jigsaw puzzles.  Anyway, the really cool thing about this episode is that when Dan & Jordan finish, Louie holds out his hand for a congratulatory slap, saying “Good job.”  He also had kind words for Jordan earlier at the noodle Roadstop, and when Brent finished his puzzle, Jordan jumped up and down with Caite in excitement.  These teams are just so nice to each other, and it’s great to see this air of goodwill amongst them during the competition.  I can never say for sure, but it does seem that Brandy & Carol really did contribute to a toxic atmosphere for these Racers.

Louie & Michael finish after nightfall, and know they are last.  Sad music plays.  But silly me, I totally forgot that the last four is pretty much always a non-elimination round.  Phil fakes them out before telling them they’re still in it, and we’ve got one more round left before the finale.

Season 16, Episode 10: I Feel Like I’m In, Like, Sicily (originally aired April 25, 2010)

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS.

House: Do. Not. Get. Married.

That’s the lesson I learned from this week’s episode of House. Truth be told though, in my case, the showrunners were preaching to the choir. Everyone on the show is dealing with crumbling marriages or the lingering effects of failed ones. In short, everyone is miserable all because of a couple of rings and some words spoken and some cake eaten.

Teaser: A woman fools around with some stud in a nice hotel room. There’s a knock at the door: it’s the woman’s husband! Oh no! Except the wife seems less horrified than puzzled, and the other man doesn’t hide under the sheets. Then the husband comes in and introduces himself amiably. He didn’t mean to interrupt, he just showed up because their daughter needs some form signed. Ah, it seems these people have one of those fabled open marriages, what Taub refers to as a mythical unicorn. But then the woman starts gasping in pain. See, you just can’t win.

The team runs the usual battery of tests, but everyone—especially Taub—is more interested in the kooky sex arrangement. Taub takes his wife out to dinner and just ever so casually starts discussing the patient and her arrangement. He tells wifey that he only brought it up because he thought it was interesting, but she sees right through him and knows that he’s trying to broach the subject with her. Taub reveals that he hasn’t cheated on her (this time), but he does have eyes for a nurse at the hospital. Even though he hasn’t acted on the attraction, is Taub  being unfaithful to his wife by having the desire to cheat in the first place? Is cheating part of his true nature, and is he denying his true self by artificially constraining himself from dalliances? I say yes to all. Taub is a short, balding weasel. Why the hell doesn’t the wife leave him? How could she possibly love such a human dildo?

House, meanwhile has to face that he has become the third wheel on the Wilson/Sam relationship rickshaw. Wait a minute…no he doesn’t! This is House. What he has to do is engineer their breakup through petty tricks like loading the dishwasher wrong, putting the milk on the door of the fridge instead of in the core, using up all of the toilet paper and not replacing the roll. He figures that Wilson will blame these annoyances on Sam, and he figures right. These petty habits break them out of the doldrums and get them screaming at each other to the point where they are discussing why their marriage ended a decade ago and why they can’t make it work now. Whether or not House went to these lengths for himself or out of concern for Wilson is up for debate (I think it’s both), but damn if he didn’t get the job done. Or did he?

Basically, all of the dysfunctional relationships on this show are cyclical. They don’t work, they’re full of compromise and resentment, but people keep coming back to them because they don’t know how to be alone and think that somehow they’ll be happier in crappy couples than in satisfying solitude. I don’t understand it, and I don’t think they do either. I think that’s the point that House is trying to make. Solid episode, nothing spectacular. I do, however, consistently find myself still smiling at how engaged I am by Hugh Laurie.

For anther take on this episode, read The Open Marriage Fiasco by Stephanie Jaar.

Season 6, Episode 18: Open and Shut (originally aired April 26, 2010)

For more on House, click here.

Mondays 8/7c on FOX

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and IMDbPro.

Gossip Girl: Dating Fatwas and Such

This week’s episode of Gossip Girl, “Dr. Strangeloved,” was a very busy one so let’s get right down to business.

It all began with Nate and that scheming wench, Jenny, making breakfast – he in pajamas, she in one of his dress shirts! Say what?! Luckily it was all innocent (unfortunately for Jenny) from a late night of Wii Tennis and Nate sleeping on the couch. And even though it’s safe to say she wanted more but failed, it is enough to plant the seed of distrust in Serena (on Squints’ suggestion) by letting her “find” Nate’s dress shirt hanging out of Jenny’s overnight bag.

At this point Serena still hasn’t explained her absence to find her father and Lily’s revelation (more on that later) so Nate is still mad about her secrecy and she’s mad about the Jenny slumber party so they immediately stop talking and Nate agrees to go to a party in Brooklyn with boozy Squints and Jenny. You can probably see where this is going.

At the party Nate gets annoyed and decides to leave early in favor of boozing back at home. Squints wants to stay at the party. Jenny doesn’t. Again, you can probably see where this going. Jenny tells him how wonderful he is and tries to kiss him just as Serena walks in. Luckily they talk it over and thanks be to the Baby Jesus that they discover Jenny withheld Serena’s whereabouts in order to make her look bad and Nate kicks her out. I kid you not – I started clapping.

As for Lily, it turns out she was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and has been away getting secret treatments from William, her ex-husband/father of Serena played by Billy Baldwin who has either become a full-on clone of brother Alec or is now at least dubbed by him. Rufus is peeved that he was kept in the dark about her illness (not unreasonable) and wants William gone but more test results come in showing that she isn’t cured yet so he will be sticking around to continue treating her and by the look of next week’s preview – it’s not gonna be pretty.

My favorite part of this episode though (other than Jenny getting majorly rejected) was Blair’s little storyline about trying to find a rebound guy and breaking down the “dating fatwa” that Squints has placed on her. She manages to find a super dreamy guy willing to make out with her but realizes that she doesn’t really need it and gives a great little speech about it to Squints followed by an adorable scene with Dorota. For the first time ever I am on Team Blair.

And finally, things came crashing down for Dan and Vanessa when she gets accepted into the exclusive Tisch writing program and he does not. Dan is actually really cool about it but an offhand comment to a psycho ginger girl starts off a chain of events that almost gets Vanessa kicked out of the program and she is none too pleased about it. I smell a breakup but I’ve also heard that Vanessa will be leaving NYC for a job so I guess that is to be expected.  I’ve also heard that Jenny will be leaving the city too…but that would be just too much to ask for, right?

Fingers crossed.

For another take on this week’s episode, check out Down With Jenny Humphrey by Trisha Huntsman.

Season 3, Episode 19: Dr. Strangeloved (originally aired April 26, 2010)

For more on Gossip Girl, click here.

Mondays at 8/7C, The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Giovanni Rufino

Merlin: Release the Wilderin!

There’s quite a bit to talk about for this week’s episode, both the good and the ugly, so a brief synopsis is definitely in order.

Morgana and her entourage are on a pilgrimage to her father’s grave site. Along the way, a group of bandits belonging to a man named Hengist capture Morgana and Gwen to bring back to their kingdom and hold for ransom. Unfortunately for them, Morgana is a fierce warrior who manages to run from her kidnappers but Gwen injures herself in the escape and sacrifices herself for Morgana.

Hengist’s men figure they have nothing to lose so they dress Gwen up as Morgana and pass her off as Uther’s ward. At Hengist’s castle, Gwen sees Lancelot again and he vows to help her escape. You remember – the Lancelot.  Anyway, Arthur is also on his way to save Gwen even though Uther already said he would not send anyone to save a servant. But this is, after all, Arthur’s one true love we’re talking about!

Hengist’s preferred method of killing people is by letting his giant pet rats do the trick – they’re called wilderin and they’re quite possibly the grossest creatures ever featured on this show. Ick!  He nearly kills Gwen and Lancelot with them until his own pet turns on him.

Love triangles and disgusting giant rats did not make this episode of Merlin a very pleasant one to watch. Gwen is completely infatuated with Lancelot. I think their relationship might be better described as lust than actual love, but maybe that’s just me. If I had to hear Gwen and Lancelot say another cheesy line of dialogue such as: “I would die for you 100 times over” or “you are everything that is right in this world” – I might’ve vomited.

Meanwhile, Merlin kept jokingly poking fun at Arthur for his crush on Gwen until he finally snaps and spills all his feelings to Merlin. It wasn’t exactly what Merlin expected, but it really made you feel bad for Arthur. Actually, this whole episode I was pining for the arrogant prince. How can anyone resist those pouts?! Bradley James really has the whole sad puppy face expression nailed down.

Because it was only Arthur and Merlin who went to rescue Gwen, they got some nice bonding time on their trip. There were a lot of pretty funny moments – it was almost like season one again! Those two together are really great and it’s what makes the show so enjoyable to watch in the first place.

All in all, it takes the skills of both Lancelot and Arthur to save them all from escaping Hengist’s castle. Arthur’s not a fool, though – he sees Gwen is pining for Lancelot; likewise Lancelot realizes how much Gwen means to Arthur. Definitely creates some awkward tension. So while everyone is asleep, Lancelot takes the high road and leaves to return to his life as a wandering sword-fighter. Gwen is upset, and Arthur pouts.

Season 2, Episode 4: Lancelot and Guinevere (aired April 23, 2010)

For more on Merlin, click here.

Fridays at 10/9c on Syfy

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and SyFy.

RuPaul’s Drag Race: The Diva Awards

The girls enter the workroom, and they all discuss how empty it is now that only four people are left.  Raven admits that she misses her friends.  Aw.  Might she have a heart?  Jujubee talks about how he and his mother don’t talk, so he has to rely on his drag mother.

The mini-challenge is a good one.  Each of the contestants must style and accessorize identical little black dresses, no cutting or gluing allowed.  The results are a mess.  In addition to a hodgepodge of jewelry, all of the girls put on wigs.  Juju even goes so far as to put on crazy ass makeup over her stubble.  Really, they all look broke down, but Tyra (“the other Tyra”) is the winner.  The fact that boy Tyra looks like half of the women on the Green Line on my commute to work surely didn’t hurt.

The main challenge is that all of the contestants have been nominated for THE DIVA AWARDS!  Ru explains that they will have to bring awards show “realness” for their challenge this week, as they have to prepare looks for three different award ceremonies:

1. Teen Diva Awards, where the contestants will have to dress as a “hot, teen queen;”
2. Diva D.C. Press Awards, where the contestants will have to serve “executive realness, Washington D.C.-style;” and
3. Diva Hollywood Extravaganza Awards, where the girls should “gag us with glamour and eleganza.”  Yes, eleganza.

From among all of the fabrics made available to the contestants, Tyra takes all of these fluorescent fake fur fabrics to assemble a gown.  Seriously, she is going to look like a crazy puppet from Sesame Street.  Tyra is sad in the workroom, though, because he is missing his son’s first day of school to dress up like a psychedelic muppet.

Tatianna says that she’s never made a red carpet gown before, so she’s going for “an expensive look.”  I grow concerned when she reveals that her “expensive look” will consist of three pieces of fabric and some hot glue.  The situation becomes more dire when Ru challenges Tati that now is the time that she should “pull something out of her ass.”

RuPaul informs the contestants that their guest judges tonight will be Tony winner Marissa Jaret Winokur and Oscar winner Tatum O’Neal, people who have actually “snatched trophies.”  Ru adds a wrinkle to the challenge this week because the contestants will need to perform an opening number for the Diva awards, and Tyra will be in charge because she won this week’s mini-challenge.

At the last minute, Tyra drops the fluorescent fur gown.  Smart move, girl.  While painting their faces, the girls discuss whom they believe will be the top three.  Only Tatianna believes that she will be in the top three.

Let’s jump to the main stage where Ru is working an INSANE gown with red petals.  She looks like a botanical garden.  Merle’s hair extensions look like they’re eating her head.

First, we see the opening number.  It’s pretty cute, and they all do a great job.  Only Jujubee seems to mess up when she forgets one of the dance moves.

Next up, the Teen Diva awards.

• Tatianna – Oh my, that’s a short zebra print dress.  Like I’m worried about seeing scrotum short.  On the positive side, the hair is cute, and she’s wearing one of those Mischa Barton/Phoebe Price headbands, which would seem appropriate for these awards.
• Raven – UGH!  It pains me to say this, but this is like a perfect teen awards look: a cute, short, ruffled dress.  The only negative is another one of those long, flat wigs that Raven favors.
• Jujubee – Juju has gone all hip hop in a black and leopard body suit with a hood.  She says she was inspired by Mary J. Blige, but Mary J. hasn’t been a teenager since The Cosby Show was on.
• Tyra – Hold the phone, bitches.  This look is even more perfect then Raven’s.  A cute, purple, ruffled dress with an awesome Mohawk wig.  It’s awesome.

Diva D.C. Press Awards time.  I must admit that I didn’t know what the girls would pull out for this award because I automatically assumed that everyone would walk the runway as Jonathan Capehart.

• Tatianna – She’s dressed like a skanky Sarah Palin.
• Raven – She looks like an older Hillary Clinton.
• Jujubee – An Asian Nancy Pelosi.
• Tyra – Michelle Obama with less muscular arms.

Finally, the EXTRAVAGANZA Awards.  This part includes a red carpet interview from James St. James, as well.

• Tatianna – Oh dear.  I love Tatianna, but I can tell this dress will seal Tati’s spot in the bottom two.  She was going for an “expensive look,” but this does not look expensive.  It looks like a sexy nightgown.
• Raven – [Through gritted teeth] Raven looks pretty.  She’s taken off those ridiculous piercings from her face and worn an elegant black beaded gown.  Flat hair again, though.
• Jujubee – She looks like she walked off of the set of Slumdog Millionaire.  I don’t get it at all.
• Tyra Sanchez – Beyonce could take notes from this look.  It’s a long, light mint green sequined gown.  Tyra really makes such a pretty woman, that it’s almost an unfair advantage.

On the main stage, each of the girls has to give an acceptance speech.  Tyra’s is the best, then Raven’s, then Tatianna’s, then Jujubee’s (who was too over the top and actually kind of creepy when talking about her mother).

There’s no real suspense here.  Tyra and Raven are the top two, and Tyra pulls out the win.  Tatianna and Jujubee must lip sync (I know, some weeks I spell it “sync” and others “synch.”  Get over it, spell check says that both are correct.) for their lives.  The song is Aretha Franklin’s version of “Giving Him Something He Can Feel.”  It doesn’t take long to see the writing on the wall.  Juju tears up the stage, while Tati is lip syncing the back up parts instead of ReRe’s lyrics!

Shante, Juju stays (for the third week in a row).  Tatianna must sashay away.  RuPaul does a funny little play on Tatianna’s “thank you” before she leaves the stage.  Aw, I liked Tatianna.  I’m glad that she made it to the final four.  She’s probably got some growing up to do, but so do most twenty-one year olds.

Next week!  The FINAL EPISODE!

Season 2, Episode 9: The Diva Awards (originally aired April 12, 2010)

For more on RuPaul’s Drag Race, click here.

Mondays at 9pm(est) on Logo

Photographs courtesy of Logo Online and Mathu Anderson.

The Losers Review: Almost a Winner!

There’s no doubt in my mind that there will be a ton of reviews that compare The Losers to the upcoming A-Team or make some kind of pun on the title, but if you went into the theater not expecting much, then I’d think you’d be pleasantly surprised. Based on the DC/Vertigo comic, there’s a ton of fun action, a sleek, sexiness to film and some good laughs. However, if you expected Losers to take the rag-tag, “band of brothers” caper-style to the next level or be a literal comic book adaptation or even be something original and unique, then you’ll be sorely disappointed.

Written by Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights) and James Vanderbilt (Zodiac) and directed by Sylvain White (Stomp the Yard), The Losers centers around a special-ops team, burned by the CIA and hellbent on clearing their names, reclaiming their lives and exacting revenge on the evil man behind it all. Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) leads Roque (Idris Elba), the big tough guy, Jensen (Chris Evans), the funny tech, Cougar (Óscar Jaenada), the silent shooter, and Pooch (Columbus Short), the “transpo and special weps”. No, seriously. That is what flashed on the scream during his introduction. So you can see why I breathed a sigh of relief as I was justified in not having to take the film too seriously.

After the motley crew’s insane and fickle handler Max (Jason Patric) betrays them, ordering their assassination in an effort to further his own nefarious plot, the boys are presumed dead. Stuck in Bolivia, they are later propositioned by Aisha (Zoe Saldana) who promises that she can get them home if Clay’s team takes out their common enemy. And so the story really begins.

The movie has all the makings of a summer blockbuster with a hip cast, endless explosions and a high-octane ride, but that’s also the big problem. The movie comes off feeling just like every other A-Team, G.I. Joe, Inglourious Basterds, and Lethal Weapon. While some in that genre will be able to differentiate themselves and make their mark, others will just blend in with its companions to form this indistinguishable, action-flick blob. Losers happens to fall mostly into the latter category.

Fortunately, it’s the humor, light tone and cool cast that saves the film from being a total washout. Add in White’s funky directing-style and editing tricks to enhance the comic book feel, and I can see something more than just a cheesy, action flick. Also, the actors definitely elevate the material they were given and really look like they‘re enjoying themselves. In my opinion, it’s the script and story that’s keeping the film from being something special.

Evans, especially, shines due to his “on” comedic timing and as the guy who can make a pink t-shirt and finger pistols look cool. Morgan is just plain gruff, hot and the glue that holds the film together, straddling that line between bemusement and sincerity. And Patric is in another league with his oddball, villainous turn. And though I enjoyed myself, I just wish that I was having as much fun while I was watching as the cast of characters did on the big screen.

Photo by Courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures – © 2010 Dark Castle Holdings, LLC. ™ &DC Comics

The Back-Up Plan Review: Naturally Charming

What if you meet Mr. Right, right after you decide you didn’t need him? This is Zoe’s problem and the premise of the new film The Back-Up Plan. Jennifer Lopez makes a triumphant return to the big screen, in a film that is both charming and natural. With a great cast and compelling characters this movie is a definite must see.

The Back-Up Plan stars Jennifer Lopez as Zoe, a single woman who after giving up on ever falling in love and getting married, decides to skip two steps and have a baby. This is her back-up plan. Her plan goes awry when, right after she is artificially inseminated, she meets Stan, Alex O’Loughlin, the Mr. Right she’s given up waiting for. At first reluctant to get involved, Zoe begins seeing Stan and while the two have promise, it isn’t long before Zoe realizes that she’s pregnant. After the initial shock, Stan and Zoe commit to the relationship and to raising the child. But as the months pass, both discover they might not be as ready as they think.

The greatest thing about The Back-Up Plan is that everything seems genuine. The main relationship, between Zoe and Stan does not feel forced. It develops very naturally and this is pleasant to watch. When Lopez and O’Laughlin are together on screen it just works. At part teasing, at tunes seductive, this relationship seems solid and it is easy to root for them. The characters are true for the most part. Stan and Zoe both have their issues that they need to work out. And watching them face their demons goes a long way in making these characters relatable. The shining moment of this film is between Zoe and Mona (Michaela Watkins), her best friend. When Zoe verbalizes why, in spite of all of the nay-sayers and lack of support, she wants to have this baby my heart breaks for her. This moment is both pure and vulnerable. Brava.

The Back-Up plan has great casting from the two leads as well as the supporting cast. Lopez is quirky as Zoe, and O’Loughlin is charming as Stan. Supporting cast includes Danneel Harris as Olive and Eric Christian Olsen as Clive, friends of Olivia. Linda Lavin is Zoe’s grandmother, Nana, and Tom Bosley is Nana’s 22-year long fiancé. Melissa McCarthy ably takes the helms of a kooky motherhood group. Standouts in this film include Michaela Watkins as Mona, Zoe’s best friend and captain of the Don’t Have a Baby Brigade, and Anthony Anderson as Stan’s random fatherhood mentor.

The Back-Up Plan does have its flaws. At the end, the movie slips into the clichéd wrap up that was just lazy. Also, the single mother’s group that Zoe joins feels completely forced. A sort of Island of Misfit Moms, Zoe’s inclusion seems to only point out that she is not one of them. The fact they offer her no real support undercuts their reason for being. They are more of a writer’s tool, than actual characters and this is unfortunate.

With that being said, I strongly recommend seeing The Back-Up Plan if you like romantic comedies or good looking guys riding tractors. Either way, it doesn’t disappoint.

POPPIN THE “CON”: DC POP CULTURE GURUS GEARING UP FOR WHAT MAY BE THE LAST COMIC-CON EVER! . . . IN SAN DIEGO

DC Metro Area – April 26, 2010 – All the passes have been sold out.  All hotels within a seven (7) mile radius booked.  The countdown to geekdom has begun . . . and Poptimal.com is gearing up for front row seats.  Making its second appearance at the largest convention in North America, Poptimal.com plans to send many of its writers and their infectious audio podcast The Jone Dome to Comic-Con in San Diego, CA.

“Last year we just had a couple writers attend the convention and while our coverage was good, we missed out on a lot of the celebrity sightings and panel discussions.  This year, we are gearing up to get it all, especially since this may be its last year in San Diego,” said Zuberi Williams, Editor-in-Chief.   Since it’s debut in 1970, ComicCon has grown tremendously in popularity. By some estimates, over 140,000 people attended last year’s convention.

The conference is not just for comic book enthusiast, it has morphed into a Hollywood celebrity fest, with most of the hottest actors, directors, and producers promoting their new movies or television shows.  Fans in attendance get to be up, close, and personal with their favorite celebrities.  Last year’s attendees included: Zachary Levi (Chuck), Johnathan Galecki and Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory), Tyrese Gibson (Legion), Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes), Mila Kunis and Justin Bateman (Extract), Seth Green and Breckin Meyer (Robot Chicken), Rebecca Romijn (Eastwick), Peter Jackson (District 9), James Cameron (Avatar), Robert Downey, Jr. and Rachel McAdams (Sherlock) and Denzel Washington (Book of Eli), just to name a few.

“We have really been gearing up all year, by covering the WGA Awards in New York and Los Angles and WonderCon. We also plan coverage of NBC’s press day outside L.A.”

Poptimal.com is still accepting sponsorships for those advertisers interested in a potential audience for 140,000 and even more over the web.  For inquires, contact editor@poptimal.com.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

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The Office: Secretary’s Day

I didn’t even bother to look at what the actual title of this episode was, and I’m not going to. After watching it, I’m that confident it’s “Secretary’s Day.” Anyway, this is the first show back after about a month on hiatus, and it’s quite solid.

The two core storylines of this episode consist of a) the first chinks are put in the boundlessly cute, precious armor of the romance and subsequent relationship between Andy and Erin, as Erin learns about Andy’s past relationship with Angela from Michael; and b) Kevin’s struggle to put an end to an office-wide, episode-long laugh-fest over the similarities between his voice, and that of the Cookie Monster.

The a) storyline takes off when Andy has everyone bombard Erin with gifts, since it is in fact Secretary’s Day. He then bestows her with the ultimate gift for any secretary, lunch with her boss, over which Michael of course lets it slip. I had to give pause here. Really? This whole thing is set in motion because we’re supposed to believe that (even in the zany, wacky world of this series) a joyous treat for any self-respecting secretary is to have lunch with her boss? I swear, these people who put together this show are freaks. That preposterous concept as a key plot point, in even slightly less capable hands, would’ve been disastrous (aside from the usual 100% committed performances, we also had writer Mindy Kaling and Director Steve Carell to thank; sometimes I wonder why they ever use anyone out of house to do those jobs at all, at this point).

As for the b) storyline…well, I suppose it’s not much of an actual storyline anyway. More of a running gag. But a really funny one. Which, oh yeah, that’s why you should watch this episode of The Office. It’s pretty funny.

Season 6, Episode 21: Secretary’s Day (originally aired April 22, 2010)

For more on The Office, click here.

Thursdays, 9/8C on NBC

Photograph courtesy of NBC Universal, Byron Cohen, and Mitchell Haaseth.

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