The Real Housewives of New York: (insert witty song lyric about NYC here)
April 28, 2010 by Liz Cooper
Filed under Feature, Television
Here we are, another season.
New York has never held my allegiance with the Housewives. Why would you focus on borderline classy people when you have the likes of Kim from Atlanta, Tamra from the OC, and anyone from New Jersey? But with Project Runway on Lifetime and RuPaul’s Drag Race on Logo, I was starting to miss my Bravo TV lineup. So here we go: here is my rundown of these nutters for the season. I am looking forward to love hating them.
Bethenny: From what I have seen so far this season, Bethenny is going to be my favorite. She took a pregnancy test on camera with the bathroom door open. Enough said.
In case that isn’t enough to sell you though, let’s chat more about Beth (I’m calling her Beth because I think she spells Bethenny oddly, no?). I have not seen the whole season or the previous seasons, so these are just my initial thoughts…why does everyone hate her? Jill is super pissed at her, and Beth had one of the more awkward chats I have seen on this show with Ramona on the Brooklyn Bridge. Granted, I think Ramona might have a few screws loose or is tampering with a medication regiment, but that talk was crazy. Even crazier was the sneak attack Ramona pulled later to try and get Jill and Beth to chat at her house, which just turned into a tearful mess for Beth, a bitchy Jill, and a weird Ramona. Seems like no one is on Beth’s side. She keeps talking about her business that she is doing and how she is so busy with it, but what does she do? Unclear at the moment. What is clear was her preggers test though, which she took with the bathroom door open. WTF. She then sat on the floor of the bathroom and repeatedly called her boyfriend (name not important enough for me to remember right now since I have yet to see him on camera) and her friend who has kids. Call me crazy, but I don’t know if Beth here is ready for a bundle of joy. That kid is going to suffer a lot of embarrassment from TMI via mommy dearest. Also, I cannot figure out Beth’s age at all. Like, is she 40, 29? I have no clue. That’s black magic right there.
Ramona: What is she on? She is lacking severe social skills and has the craziest eyes I have seen in a while. So far I have seen her pick a fight (out of the blue) with Beth on the bridge, made Jill and Beth fight at her house, fought with Jill at Jill’s Kodak promotional gig for something that I’m pretty sure isn’t real, and then then picked a fight with Kelly at the same event. She doesn’t really seem bothered by her oddly aggressive behavior though because I don’t think she understands what is going on most of the time. Hands down the funniest thing I have seen from this season was Ramona’s cracked out runway walk at the Brooklyn fashion show. There are no words, only crazy eyes.
Jill: I’m kind of indifferent at this point. She seems to have issues with everyone, but she threw a private party for her friend circle at Saks Fifth Avenue so whatever. I don’t know where her money is coming from or why she has such thick bangs, but for now she is just kind of background for me. She is pretty bitchy, calling the Brooklyn fashion show so low rent and complaining that she was next to trash, but this snootiness is what makes this show great. I don’t want people praising hipsters or anything, they “ironically” do enough of that themselves. I kind of like that she is unapologetic about herself, so there are some points. I’m still formulating why I am going to love or hate her. Is she like the Vicki of New York?
Alex (&Simon): I just don’t know. They are both pretty weird but definitely seem the nicest out of the bunch. Since they live in Brooklyn, I guess they are the outcasts of the group or something? Or because they have a weird relationship? Because the Countess hates them? I think Alex is kind of cool and seems like a real person, so they are going to be my meter of normalcy on this show, which is weird because Simon seems like he is in his own world most of the time.
LuAnn: is ridic. I do remember her back a few seasons reprimanding someone for not introducing her as The Countess to a driver or something? This woman is nuts, I think. I also recently saw a clip of her at the GLAAD Media awards talking about how she is coming out with a single? Ok, now she is just trying to be Kim. She needs autotune. Ironically enough, the song is about not being able to buy class. Woof. The Countess is now divorced though, so is it classy to keep the title when you are no longer with the Count? I feel like I am getting stupider by writing this paragraph.
Kelly: Was she a late add-on to this show? She just kind of seems to be there and smiling and kind of fighting with people and taking pictures of randos on the street and acting like she knows fashion. Her age is also very indeterminate. Why isn’t she friends with Beth?
Sonja: Who is this? A crazy friend of LuAnn’s that likes sex a whole bunch and lives on the upper east side and attends parties and charities? Sounds like a solid addition to the show. I think she and Kelly are both into a guy named Max? Should get pretty weird pretty quickly. I’m excited.
So this is looking good. Everyone is ridiculous in their own way, but they are looking– I’m temped to say –classier, than the OC chicks. I take back the classy remark but I can’t think of a better word. Better kept?
Get ready for commentary on the downfall of our civilization every Thursday!
For more on The Real Housewives of New York, click here.
Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo
Photographs courtesy of Bravo and Ali Paige Goldstein.
Just one correction to A Star: It is Ramona who is married to Mario,not Bobby, who owns a religious articles store. Bobby is married to Jill and he owns a high end fabric store. Ramona drinks Pinot Giorgio like it was tap water which accounts for most of her “insanity” as she attacks everyone around her than passes it off as her “telling it like it is”. And she loves to dance which she often does in the streets of NY after an evening out of partying!
The hysterical part of our attraction to this show is that these ladies are so shallow and unimportant yet we cannot look away. With the exception of Bethenny, whom I happen to love, there is not one woman on that program I would want for a friend. I am sure there are many more out there who think the same way. Perhaps Alex, but the rest are just plain pitiful. And they themselves are unable to see it.
Bitching, moaning, whining, shreiking, sniping, backstabbing, hypocritical nobodies who “entertain” by behaving like shrews. Awful.
Okay. In my rant there are a couple of errors:
The second Ramona should say Jill. Romona is not married to Bobby that is Jill’s husband who had cancer. That entire paragraph is about Jill and Bobby.
Before her divorce from the Count, LuAnn wrote a book on good manners (whatever…). She was a true snob…..
I need to vent so I will gladly fill you in:
Bethenny: Business woman and former BFF with Jill. Bethenny is a former Chef and single. When she was single and vulnerable Jill and Bobby were there for her. She then started a healthy line of food and promoted the brand last season. The more her business developed grew and she became popular, she and Jill began to clash. The had a huge falling out at a promotional event hosted by Jill and Bethenny was there marketing her brand…Jill was pissed. They have not spoken. Bethenny has written a couple of books (and book tours and met Mr. Right. Meanwhile Bobby developed cancer and Bethenny was not around for Jill. She sent an email and Jill did not think it was appropriate. Jill was criticising her and Bethenny told her to “get a hobby.” Jill hasn’t recovered since. They still don’t speak. The Countess got dumped and became best friends with Jill. When Bethenny tried to apologize (twice) Jill refused to talk to her (she had her sidekick LuAnne with her). It was really awful and hard to watch. Especially since we women know that “we argue and fight” but good friends stick together. I think the friendship is over. Now Jill is starting to realize what a “bitch” she was being but its too late. Wow…. That’s it in a nutshell (a big nutshell….but Bethenny is my FAV). I hope there is not a word count limit….
Ramona: Has many issues but is mainly pretty shallow. She had a troubled childhood but so did a lot of people. She has a mean streak…
LuAnn: Let her marriage to the Count go to her head. She criticized all her friends for their lack of manners and aksed to be addressed as “Countess whatever” and then her husband asked for a divorce. Before the manners book comes out. Ouch! She is such a snob….
Kelly: Is insane. She is so lost in her own world that there are no words to describe her. She was a model who married a well-known photogahper and got a divorce and now she’s a celebrity. Oh yeah….. she recently was on the cover of Playboy. I don’t think she’s very attractive. But that’s just me.
Ramona: She and her husband Bobby (he’s a very nice guy) have a high-end furniture (?) store in New York and he is uber-wealthy. So Romona buys very expensive everything and loves and hangs with the elite (like Countess LuAnn) and others.
Alex and Simon: Very ….different. Some say strange. Simon was accused of being gay when they first arrived. He loves fashion and dresses rather flamboyantly. He and Alex go everywhere together and they were criticized for it. Example…they had a girls night for dinner and Alex showed up with Simon. He was the only man there and did not want to leave. Ramona and Jill were very upset with Alex and the love/hate relationship was on.
Ironically Jill dissed Betheny, Alex was there for Bethenny. To their surprise they have become genuine friends (even though there has been tension in the past) and I really like Alex and Simon. They may not be typical New Yorkers but they have two adorable little boys and are very good people and parents. The biggest difference with them is they are really down to earth.
And that is where we are…………..
That was very cathartic!
1. Bethenny founded “skinnygirl” which features a new Margarita drink. She also wrote a few books on eating healthy. She is 39yrs old, newly married, and is expecting a baby. She has never made a secret of using the show to promote her business. That is has succeeded drives Jill over the edge. Used to be friends but Jill cut her off when Bravo offered Bethenny her own show.
2. Jill is the viper in this cast of characters. Whiny, moaning, bitching and driving the knife clear through her “friends” at any opportunity. She felt that she should be the “star” but that happened for Bethenny which is the cause of most of the dissension.
3. Ramona has a problem. Possibly her love of Pinot Grigio which loosens her tongue and she insults at random. In her world, this is “telling it like it is”. In mine, it is a liter of wine.
4. Kelly is suffering from “vacancy”. Her role in life is to attend as many events as possible in one night but staying only long enough to get her parking validated. This is to suggest that she is really popular in NYC and no event is worthwhile unless she graces it by her appearance. This one is clueless on every level.
5. Lu Ann is pretentious to the extreme. She spends most of her time expecting everyone to be as impressed as she is with the “countess” title and is intent on keeping Jill as her BF so she slams Bethenny at any opportunity. Not a very nice lady.
6. Alex and Simon, a.k.a. Silex, are as close to normal as this show will allow. Parents of two boys they seem to bring some sort of balance to the show because of their low key style. They appear inseparable which drives the other nuts.
7. Sonja is the latest addition (slotted in to replace Bethenny) and has yet to make a full imprint. However, she seems pretty much self absorbed with her plastic surgery and liposuction, not to mention her sexual activities, so stay tuned.
Hope this helps to some extent.
Ms Cooper,
You must go to the Bravo website and watch a few videos from season 2. Your questions about all of the girls will be answered and the dynamics of the friendships and fighting this season will mean more to you. This season it’s been hard to for me to watch Jill and Beth get a BFF divorce. You won’t understand the love for this once BFF couple until you watch at least some of season 2 (and maybe some from season 1).
Keep writing your thoughts on the show. I enjoyed reading your take as a newbie to the show.