The Vampire Diaries: And Now Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Shirtless Torture Scene

This week’s episode, “Let the Right One In,” starts off with a tip-of-the-titular-cap to arguably the best Swedish vampire movie ever, which bodes well. All in all, it’s a solid episode, wrapping up a few threads from earlier in the season, killing off Goateed Vamp and bestowing upon the viewers an entirely gratuitous Shirtless!Tortured!Stefan! subplot (if you’re into that sort of thing). Even better, both of the mortal storylines–Matt/Caroline and Jeremy/Anna–are entirely watchable, with multiple scenes that actually advance the plot and introduce new(ish) information.

Storm’s a-brewing in Mystic Falls this week, which means all the vampires who don’t have magic rings are shambling out of the woodwork to take advantage of the daylight hours. Goateed Vamp disobeys Pearl’s no-revenge policy and ambushes Stefan while he’s stalking squirrels in the woods. Stefan’s brought back to Mrs. Gibbons’ Halfway House for Wayward Vampires, where plenty of stabbing, bondage, monologuing, and wincing ensue. Enjoy.

Damon and Elena enlist Alaric’s assistance in rescuing Stefan with a baldly transparent lie about helping him find Isobel. He’s either stupider than I thought or has his own reasons for helping the Salvatores, because he busts out his utility belt of vervain-tipped stakes after a few minutes of token resistance. All Damon needs is a mortal to get him in the house, since Mrs. Gibbons has been instructed never to invite him in. Elena wants to help, but Damon reminds her that unless she’s an undead superhero or in possession of a ring of immortality, there’s not a whole lot she can do, except maybe cross her arms and smolder. Which she does.

At the Mystic Grill, Jeremy tries convincing Anna to give him a pity turn, since he doesn’t “have anything else” to live for. She counters that there’s only four good reasons to make someone else a vampire: to have someone to do your dirty work, to get revenge, because you’re bored, or “the obvious.” Come again? “When you love someone so much that you’d do anything to spend all of eternity with them.” Close your mouth, sweetheart, you’re leaking desperation.

At the Center for Delinquent Exsanguinators, Alaric does a credible friendly stranded motorist and dusts a few vamps before bringing Mrs. Gibbons to the door, where Damon is waiting. She still refuses to let him in, so Damon insists she step out on the porch, asking if she has any children or family members living in the house. When she says “no,” he snaps her neck and tells Alaric to take care of the body. Heh. Damon Rambos his way through the rest of the house, since no one seems to be noticing that members of the house keep disappearing whenever they go into the kitchen, and the only vampire guarding Stefan is listening to his iPod. Hasn’t he literally been living under a rock for the past 150 years? They’re not even allowed to leave the house; where is he picking up Apple products?

Rain. Car. Pretty white girl. You know the rest–Caroline skids out, tries to make a call, slides down a hill, finds a body, screams. Commercial.

Pearl arrives at the Mystic Grill and is less than pleased to see her daughter making cow-eyes at Jeremy Gilbert, “whose family is the reason I was in the tomb” or whatever. Anna snaps that Jeremy already knows who she is and likes her anyway, and you can’t tell me what to do, Mom. Pearl hauls off and slaps her, so Anna runs off and texts Jeremy “I’ll do it.” It’s a shame, because now that Jeremy knows, their friendship was actually getting kind of fun. Of course, this is the CW, where angst eats fun for breakfast. Still, it was nice while it lasted.

Elena and Damon rescue Stefan from the most poorly guarded torture basement ever (seriously, there were twenty vamps upstairs playing pool and ONE GUY downstairs), then split up, Elena rushing Stefan out to the car and Damon finishing off the other vampires inside. Goateed Vamp follows them out and stabs Stefan for about the seventh time, going in for the kill when Elena stabs him from behind. Stefan’s all dead-face, so she forces some of her blood down his throat. It works, but not without totally freaking her out: Stefan revives instantly, takes out Goateed Vamp, and snarls. He’s out of control!

So the body Caroline found turns out to be Vicki Donovan, town tramp-turned-vampire and Matt’s sister. Stefan staked her a few months back and it’s nice to see a little nod to continuity. Shock and mourning ensue. Matt tells Caroline he just wants to be alone, then throws himself into Elena’s arms the minute she walks through the door. His sister just died–or at least, he just found out about it–so I’m giving him a free pass this time. Anna realizes that Jeremy only wanted to become a vampire because he’d been holding out hope that Vicki was one, too, and that he’s been in love with Vicki the whole time. She leaves, and it’s actually rather affecting.

Stefan and Elena argue over whose fault it was that Stefan vamped out. Blah blah blah self-recrimination brinkmanship. Damon sidles up to Alaric at the Mystic Grill bar and they toss back a drink. “That was fun,” Damon says, while Alaric does a double-take and reminds Damon that he, like, totally hates him for turning his wife into a vampire. Damon does a great half-drunk stage whisper of “everyone hates me” and maintains that the two of them were totally badass. Alaric punches him and leaves. That sound you just heard was a thousand slashfics being born.

Back at home, Stefan’s helped himself to the bags of the blood in the fridge, which is apparently a sign that he’s off the vegetarian wagon. Damon looks shocked. Stefan just looks messy.

For another opinion on this episode, check out Falling Off the Wagon, Vampire Style by Matt DeGroot.

Season 1, Episode 17: Let the Right One In (originally aired April 8, 2010)

For more on The Vampire Diaries, click here.

Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW and Bob Mahoney.