The Bachelorette Review: This Time Around, Extensions.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The Bachelorette is back!! While The Bachelor is amazing because the women are inevitably crazy and easy to make fun of, I also enjoy lusting after the contestants on The Bachelorette and picking on the girl. Sorry, it is just too easy to do.

Let us start with Ali to establish just who we are dealing with. Ali was on Jake the Pilot’s season (last season, the turnarounds are so quick now) and she left because she was going to have to quit her job in order to stay. With her hair totally disheveled, tons of whining and a questionable dress, Ali jumped ship to go back to Facebook…and it didn’t even matter because now she quit her job to find a man full time. I think it is really weird now that all the guys admire her for leaving the show for her job (indicating a strong, independent working woman), but then at the same time praise her for having her priorities straight (showing a girl who follows her heart and knows that a life without love is no life at all).

So already I’m annoyed because she did something for herself leaving Jake, and then she said she had to re-prioritize her whole life because she lost the man she loved. I have a few issues with this: 1. She doesn’t seem to be that broken up about losing Jake. I don’t need her to live in the past, but she seems to care less than I do, which makes me feel crazy and I don’t like that. 2. She is what, 26? Why does she need to re-prioritize her whole life? If she loved her job and life minus a man, just chill the eff out, live your life, work at your job, I’m sure boys saw the show and kind of recognize you and can look beyond your hair and think you are cute enough to ask you on a date now. I am still bitter than it is Ali and not Gina as the Bachelorette, but hopefully I will be over it in a few episodes.

Except I definitely won’t because Ali is totally annoying. This was the first time that when the men got out of the limo I felt like it was truly awkward. Maybe this group of boys is just crappy, but I felt like everyone was straining for conversation/English words to just say “hello, this is my name, nice to meet you.” Maybe everyone was trashed? I just felt like Ali wasn’t making them comfortable or something? Also I hated her dress (little bunny butt tail on the back?) and she doesn’t know how to walk in heels. Let’s not even talk about her hair.

So right now, I’m not too crazy about Ali with the whining and thinking everything is awesome and the total lack of diversity on the show. I am assuming that a producer or something must go up to her and say “Ali, how would you feel about being in an interracial relationship? How about a foreigner? How about a short person?” Her response must have been something like “No thanks, I would rather just have guys who are from Canada, have brown hair, are taller than me, and are generally boring and temperamental.” Woof.

On to the boys! I’m going to run through the ones that left a lasting impression/ I like a lot or not at all. It is hard to tell sometimes because they all look/seem exactly the same.

Shooter: I don’t care what his real name was. Ew. When Shoot Shoot got out of the limo (who I can only hope was three sheets to the wind) he introduced himself as Shooter, and told Ali that he would tell her where he got that nickname later. I was scared. And for good reason. Shooter basically told Ali that in college he had a little problem arriving early. WTF. When is that EVER okay to tell a woman? When is that ever funny? I never knew premature ejaculation to be a pickup, and it definitely wasn’t for our little ragamuffin Ali. He was let go, and kicked himself in the pants later for sharing that little walk down memory lane.

Justin: He was the cage wrestler in a boot. He was also from Canada, which would have been enough to identify him in previous seasons, but not this time around. Maybe the producers had some kind of new-found affinity for Canada after the Olympics? He broke his foot a few weeks before the start of the show, and for some reason all the boys hated him. In the whole, here is a box write who you hate most and think “isn’t here for the right reasons,” the clear winner/loser was Justin. Boo hoo. Clearly he wasn’t going home, and Ali had the option of giving him a rose or heeding the warning of the other men and sending him on his way. She kept him. Stupid move? Or are the boys just stupid and weird about the cage wrestling? Unclear.

Roberto: I guess he counts for the “diversity” in the group? I don’t know why this is bothering me so much. I don’t expect the bachelors to seem like an advertisement for the United Colors of Benetton, but give us something! But really, I can’t tell if Ali’s batch is worse, or contestants who send all the token minorities home on the first night. Anyway, he charmed the bobbypins off of Ali with his name and little dance moves, so he got the first impression rose for being sexy. Thank goodness he had an “o” at the end of his name.

Kasey: Has reserved me a spot in hell. What is going on with his voice? Is he channeling Kermit? Does he have a speech impediment? Is he deaf in one/both ears? Is his tongue too large for him to enunciate? Did he have voice box surgery? According to the ten minutes of previews at the end of the show, Kasey goes effing bat shiz crazy over Ali. They made it seem like he gets obsessed and tries to cut his wrists? Pretty serious stuff for a Muppet character. I’ve now dropped to the next circle.

Chris L: I like this guy. He used to work in New York, then left his job to move home to Cape Cod to take care of his sick mom. So cute. She passed on, so sad, and he just seems like a really nice guy and he and Ali can talk about the Red Sox and say “wicked” every other word. I thought it was a good move when he said his parents were still together rather than mentioning right off the bat that his mom died. I think some people might think that was weird, but I think it was a good move to not get so serious on the first night. Plus, Ali was so drunk by that point she probably wouldn’t have remembered that heartfelt story in the morning or would have gotten bear tears really bad or something. See, he is so good at reading situations!

Kyle: The Woodsman. I don’t think he had showered or read a book since 1993. Luckily he was eliminated on the first night so he can go home and kill more deer to make Bambi burgers. I think Ali got TB from that hook he gave her.

Jonathan: This was the weatherman. All the guys thought that they had to look out for Justin because he would only be here to further his career, but I think Jonathan would be the one to do that. He annoyed me, and had tiny hands.

John C.: Might like the company of gentlemen. I don’t mean that as a bad thing, but I just think he won’t be buying what Ali is selling.

Steve: I don’t remember anything about him other than he is cute and got a rose. But I think he is really cute. Like seriously cute.

Frank: I like him. He reminds me of a crazier Reid (who I am still completely in love with). He is from Chicago and seems funny and jumped out of the roof of the limo. Points for being interesting/a fun drunk. His glasses are nice.

These people are champions. They have to marginally keep it together to be on camera, but are marathon drinking and making small talk all night long. I was pretty surprised that the exit interviews were against the backdrop of a rising sun. Oy. I can’t wait for this season to get going and for the bachelors to stop looking so much like one another. Ali gets to pretty much go around the world with her terrible hair, and it looks like things get weird in the episode where she is wearing a plaid shirt. She gets betrayed? Someone has a girlfriend? Secret agenda? Who knows. Can’t wait to see Chris Harrison next week.

Season 6, Episode 1 (originally aired May 24, 2010)

For more on The Bachelorette, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Bob D’Amico and Rick Rowell.

Survival of the Dead Review: Another Lifeless Sequel from George A. Romero

More than four decades after his directorial debut, Night of the Living Dead, set a brand new standard for horror movies, patriarchal auteur George A. Romero may have to carve a new niche for himself in the genre he helped create. While vampires have enjoyed the bulk of the walking undead’s recent surge in popularity, Hollywood’s particular fascination with zombies has also held steadfast over the years. Both Night and its equally classic follow-up, 1978’s Dawn of the Dead, remain two of the strongest cultural barometers upon which modern horror films are based, yet Romero can’t seem to keep up with their contemporary counterparts. While the stylized efforts of director Danny Boyle helped 2002’s fantastic 28 Days Later make zombies scary in ways no one had ever seen, 2004’s Shaun of the Dead and last year’s Zombieland each brought a satirical, slapstick zing to Romero’s formula. Meanwhile, Romero’s lackluster Land of the Dead in 2005 and flat-out disastrous Diary of the Dead in 2007 seemed to poorly imitate his own motif and pitifully try to keep up with the joneses – Diary, in particular, unwisely jumped on the bandwagon propelled by Cloverfield and attempted a single-camera, mockumentary approach. With last Friday’s opening of the latest addition to his franchise, Survival of the Dead, Romero’s movies have officially begun to shuffle into theaters as dutifully as their flesh-eating antagonists.

Survival of the Dead begins “six days after the dead have begun to walk,” following a small gang of rogue militia led by chain-smoking Sarge Crocket (Diary’s Alan Van Sprang), whose dexterity with firearms has kept them alive as the plague of undead spreads like wildfire across the country. A tag-along teenager (Devon Bostick) informs the group of “Captain Courageous,” a gruff Irishman who has been notifying the public via the Internet about a remote refuge for safety. After determining they ultimately have nothing to lose, the crew decides to pack up and head for the mysterious “Plum Island.” Turns out, Captain Courageous is actually Patrick O’Flynn (Kenneth Welsh), whose family has been sparring with rival Plum Island natives the Muldoons for generations. The outbreak of zombies has brought the feud to a head, as the survivalist O’Flynns believe anyone infected is beyond redemption and should be killed on sight, while the fundamentalist Muldoons, led by evangelical slime-ball Seamus (Richard Fitzpatrick), believe the undead should be kept alive, restrained, and trained to dine on non-human flesh in case a cure is eventually discovered. Sarge and his cronies are caught in the middle of this familial warfare, made all the more resonant because every remaining ghoul on Plum Island is related to one of the squabbling kooks.

Romero’s slick ability to juxtapose shrewd social commentary within his plotlines has been evident throughout his career. However, some efforts have been more successful than others. While the statement about America’s rampant consumerism in Dawn of the Dead was biting and fresh, Romero’s attempts to dissect the politics of war and satirize the euthanasia debate in Survival seem rather out of place and banal given the lazy screenplay and inert production quality. The acting is cringe-worthy, the editing sloppy, and plot holes run as amok as the zombies themselves. However, the biggest film-making crime is the complete lack of any suspense or sense of fright throughout the movie’s entirety. In cases where a “scary” movie isn’t actually scary, one would hope the result could evoke laughter in lieu of shrieks, but Survival of the Dead isn’t even unintentionally funny the way a camp-ridden romp should be. Instead, Romero has created a haphazard, often nonsensical series of unconnected ideas seemingly slapped together over a long weekend.

The most relevant use of imagery arrives at the end of the film in which Plum Island’s last zombies standing find a way to exhibit a new way to “beat a dead horse,” so to speak, which sadly speaks volumes about both the movie and Romero’s diminishing significance in the same cinematic domain he helped create. I viewed this final sequence optimistically, however, since Romero at least seems to be in on the joke.

Friday Night Lights Review: A Very Sweet Sort of Homecoming

Friday Night Lights turned in yet another stellar episode, one filled with high tensions, a touch of persecution, a hint of sadness and shotguns. It hasn’t exactly been easy adjusting to so many new characters and so many new storylines, but almost every second this week, despite the clutter, was a TV tutorial on how to make a great drama with great, extremely dimensional characters whom the audience can’t help but love.

“A Sort of Homecoming” further established what this season is about. We’re not dealing with State Champions anymore, this is a team of underdogs. They’re underdogs in school and they’re underdogs to their community. And the difference couldn’t have been greater than seeing Coach struggle to foster some sense of pride for the team from the community of footballers who came before them. Though last week the Lions didn’t win, we’d hoped that a touchdown would, you know, show that they understand the game. But I loved the realism that when Coach was back at school on Monday, Principal Levi Burnwell couldn’t care less. It was only one goal in one game, and a lot more would have to be done to change the school’s perspective.

Then came a revelation during practice. Coach saw, hidden behind some ivy, a 1983 State Champions banner, and a new plan had revealed itself. He started working on bringing together that team in hopes of inspiring his own and showing them that there was more to the Lions, a legacy they could be a part of. It wasn’t an easy process. He invited a few of them over for dinner, one that Tami cooked quite quickly for them after her own hard day with nary a complaint (but more on that later). These men were not easily convinced. They know what their community’s problems are and don’t like some young buck from across town coming in and trying to point them out. I wanted to scream, ‘Well, how do things change then!’ But then Buddy Garrity came in, and once again, we were proven why he isn’t just a nuisance.

At the end of last episode, Buddy had basically turned his back on his beloved Panthers, and in reality, most had already turned their backs on him. Still he doubted that he could help Eric in his usual “booster” role for a team he had no love for. But at the end of the day, he was there for Coach, and when those old rival football players saw him, they greeted him like an old friend. You can say what you want about Buddy’s faults, but he’s a likeable guy, and he puts people at ease. And Coach had found his way in with a little help from his friend.

So with some support, Coach’s brilliant pep rally idea was almost complete. He tracked down Jess’s dad Virgil, who was also on the winning team, to ask for his cooperation and inquire about holding the rally at his BBQ joint. Steve Harris, in this intriguing role, is pure gold. His (almost) one word answers and avoidance to Coach’s questions were so painful, but I was left wanting to know more about his story. Some prodding from Jess (who was also great in this scene), telling her dad that she understands he doesn’t like football but that she and her brothers do and want to be a part of that community, finally got Virgil to offer up his BBQ joint. Yet, he still didn’t allow himself to get up on that platform with the others. Though from the looks in the kids’ eyes and Coach’s eyes and even Virgil’s, at the end of the episode, the pep rally did a lot more than just bolster pep.

Many other characters had growing pains of their own. The other half of the heart of FNL, Tami Taylor, dealt with Dillon talk radio lambasting her, yet again, for shipping Luke out. (Don’t they understand it would be seen as favoritism if she didn’t go by the rules!) Then, the Mayor rejects her proposal for an improved Library, something he said last year would be tabled until this year. He made it clear that her choice in sending Luke to East Dillon has severely hurt her. As she left his office, she was confronted by her own graffitied car. She was so distraught, it was almost unbearable to watch.

Vince and Luke came to blows again when Luke’s wallet went missing after practice. And no matter what Coach does, if these two can’t come together as leaders, the team will never succeed. Vince denied having any idea where the wallet is, and Luke is certain Vince had it. This fight escalated until the two ended up in jail. And Coach proved, again, that he cares by being the one there for them and getting them out of jail. Ultimately, Luke apologized to Vince, and Vince admitted that he did steal the wallet, as the two shared a moment walking home together.

Matt also struggled with having stayed in Dillon for Julie and watching her apply to schools like Berkley, UCSB, Brown, Amherst, Mount Holyoke, and NYU. (At least, she left UT Austin as her sole safety.) He escaped by going hunting with Riggins, which provided the lighter storyline of the week, only to be slapped in the face at the end of the episode when Julie gave him the news that his father was killed in action.

SIDELINES
There are a few storylines that don’t quite make the full recap cut, and this is an example of the clutter I was pointing to earlier. There are a few too many characters and a few too many interesting storylines that were introduced but have yet to be developed at all. I fear they won’t get the due diligence they would receive if FNL had a full 18-22 episodes, but the writers haven’t failed me yet so we’ll just have to wait and see.

Devin, Crucifictorious bassist and Julie’s old friend, resurfaced and asked for Julie’s support as she goes to her first gay club. There Julie runs into Assistant Coach Stan. Who would have thought?! When she tried to smooth things over, hinting that his secret is safe with her, he acts like he has no idea what she’s talking about. Then, there’s Riggins and Becky. I don’t care how darn cute it was to see him in a dress store, supporting her when her flaky mom had bailed on her for pageant shopping, she’s still super annoying. And after getting pointers from Jess on kicking last week and being invited to a party this week, Landry, the “Opie-looking” kid, makes a move on Jess which did not look unwanted.

So sound off! What’d you think about this week’s episode. Same show. Same time. Same place next week.

Season 4, Episode 4: A Sort of Homecoming (aired May 28, 2010)

For more on Friday Night Lights, click here.

Fridays at 8/7c on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Bill Records.

Prince of Persia Review Part 1: An Action Packed Journey

Before seeing The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, I really didn’t know much about it except that it was based on the video game and was created by the team that brought us the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. To be honest—I wasn’t sure what to expect. I can now say that The Prince of Persia takes you on a magical and entertaining adventure back in time to the world of the Persian Empire.

Our hero, Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) was a young orphan living on the streets and in a brave and selfless act saved another boy who was being beaten up. King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup) witnessed this and decided to adopt Dastan into the royal family, which included two brothers, the eldest Tus (Richard Coyle) and Garsiv (Toby Kebbell) plus an uncle, Nizam (Ben Kingsley).

Fast forward fifteen years—Prince Dastan and his brothers invade Alamut, a holy city that was rumored to have been sending weapons to their enemies. Street-smart Dastan, disobeys orders, and attacks the East gate of the city, instead of straight on like his brothers, and gains entrance, which allows the rest of the Persian army to take over the city. During the battle, Dastan won a peculiar dagger. Afterwards at a celebration, Dastan is introduced to the exotic and beautiful Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) of the city of Alamut. However, Dastan is forced to flee with the Princess after the king mysteriously dies and Dastan is accused of his murder.

On the run and determined to prove his innocence, Dastan discovers that the dagger is a mystical weapon that can turn back time which only the holder of the dagger is aware of. Dastan and Princess Tamina, who do not get along at first, constantly fight over the dagger. She finally opens up more about the story behind the dagger and the destruction it could cause if it falls into the wrong hands. The rest of the film follows their wild ride and has plenty of twists and turns as Dastan and Tamina strive to protect the dagger.

The Prince of Persia is a riveting film filled with fast paced action scenes featuring sword fights, explosions and jumping off rooftops. Practically every scene which included Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) was filled with parkour stunts—I was exhausted just watching him! Not only did Jake Gyllenhaal look gorgeous but also he easily wins the support of moviegoers as action hero, Dastan.

The movie was entertaining plus sometimes amusing. Dastan and Tamina butt heads throughout and other quirky characters quip with one another with one-liners reminiscent of the Pirates of the Caribbean films.

Another impressive aspect in The Prince of Persia was the attention to detail—the costumes, cities, palaces, and even saddles on horses were detail-oriented and elaborate. These little touches definitely added to the grand scheme of the film and made you feel like you stepped back into the Persian Empire.

I really enjoyed this adventure and would recommend everyone take an action packed journey with The Prince of Persia!

Photo by Jonathan Prime & Andrew Cooper, SMPSP – © Courtesy Disney Enterprises, Inc. and Jerry Bruckheimer, Inc.

So You Think You Can Dance Review: NYC & Miami Auditions

Summer is once again here, signaled by the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance season seven. It’s that time of the year where we can celebrate beauty, storytelling, form, art, expression, growth, passion and discovery. SYTYCD can be popcorn fun, but it’s also a show that makes me think, makes me cry or send me down memory lane. I really do love it, if you couldn’t tell, and I’m super excited for another season, especially after the failure that was SYTYCD Fall 2009.

Things will be a little different this year with only half of our usual contestants making it to the big stage. Instead of 20, 10 contestants will make it to the finals. Those 10 finalists will then be paired with 10 past alums, who have no stake in the competition besides exposure and a nice payday. SYTYCD has never shied away from shakeups. Hey, Mia Michaels was out, and now she’s back as a judge! So it’s not surprising to see them take a new direction. However, I still haven’t made up my mind how I feel about it. I’m happy to welcome my favorites back to the stage, however, I can’t help but believe that their return will steal some thunder from the nubile dancers we hope to discover and watch grow. These returnees will also have some part in skewing votes. There’s a lot to think about, but auditions are barely underway so let’s get back to the dancing. First up is New York, where Mia and Adam Shankman join Nigel Lythgoe, followed by Miami with Jason Gilkison and Sonya Tayeh.

VEGAS RED-EYE
Sarah Brinson, 22, a Charlize Theron look-alike and a full figured dancer who used to be ashamed of her body and now rocks each and every inch of it. She has beautiful musicality, form and strength, though she could probably work on her arms and hands to make them appear more graceful. Giselle Peacock, 28, and Henry Byalikov, 24, must have gotten a call from Mary Murphy, another shakeup since the judge will be leaving the panel and doing some choreography. Both come from Burn the Floor which might count against them. You know we like our undiscovered dancers. However, they were so hot, sexy and flawless, how can you not root for them?

Teddy Tedholm, 18, returns after not making it through the Vegas rounds last year. Nigel couldn’t help but recall his disappointment after seeing him fall short, but his talent is undeniable. You either love it or hate it, and if you don’t process interpretive dance, then you’ll really hate it. Mia said, “You remind me of the unpopular kid, the one that was always laughed at or made fun of. To me that’s what you represent.” It might seem like a backhanded compliment, but it’s true. For someone so young, he channels his emotions and pain into a whimsical expression of movement. And I think it’s beautiful.

Michael Petr, 30, has come from far and away, inspired at 11 years old by Patrick Swayze and Dirty Dancing. Ballroom is the hardest for me to critique, but Jason thought he was delicate with his feet while managing to be a strong partner which he said was very hard.

Tyrell Rolle, 24, can make his father cry which makes me cry. He has a desire to get out of the hood and do something beautiful with his life, and I felt that desire with every turn and lift. The judges didn’t need to see him dance for long. He was one tall glass of chocolate milk, especially only training for seven years.

Henry Rivera, 19, was dubbed the best dancer in Miami. Yet! He was powerful and masculine, definitely not the impression I got from his interview. Right there, you know he can perform. He had gorgeous lines and, as Sonya pointed out, meaningful movement.

FLASH IN THE PAN
There are always some I wish we could see more from. There’s Briana De Flaco, 20, a gorgeous ballerina, Daniel Baker, 21, a “powerhouse of perfection,” Anthony Burrell, 29, a muscular and majestic contemporary dancer. Megan Davis, 24, another beautiful contemporary dancer. All were sent straight to Vegas, though we didn’t really get to see very much of why.

CHOREOWORTHY
Courtney Galiano, season four, and Jason Glover, season five, were back to teach choreography but we only got to see them for about 10 seconds in total.

Wadi Jones, 23, loves street running and the freedom it allows him. I don’t think he’s the best dancer or B-boy, but parkour has definitely prepared him to be light on his feet and do amazing flips. His major problem is that he can’t give performance face, and he doesn’t make it past choreography.

Edward Spots, 20, spent some time with us last year, but didn’t make it, though he did get a professional fellowship with Alvin Ailey. His father never supported his dream until he saw his talent on the TV screen, and now all that has changed. The judges noted how much he’s grown and matured, and he definitely has the body, look and determination for the show and for a fruitful dance career. I was shocked to see him put into choreography but not surprised to see him sail through.

Megan Carter, 18, is a large girl who can dance beautifully. I was a little put off by how surprised the judges acted. How long have you been in the business, guys?! Is this the first big girl you’ve seen dance!?! Adam said, “You just blew every single stereotype so far out of the water…I think I hold stereotypes sometimes too. And I’m so happy you just schooled me. You just schooled everyone out there.” Mia cried because it recalled her memories of not being able to get jobs because of her size, and Nigel pointed out that’s the reason she turned to choreography. Not exactly hopeful information, especially since she struggles in choreography and doesn’t make it any further.

Ami Aguiar-Riley, 27, was called a static dancer by Nigel, which I thought was funny given the very static song choice in “District Sleeps Alone Tonight” by Postal Service. Ami is a mother who has decided to dance for herself instead of for other people. She was powerful and aggressive, though not the most engaging dancer I’ve ever seen. She fared much better when given choreography so I’m happy to see her in Vegas.

Jose Ruiz, 21, brought the B-Boy fire, claiming he could smash last season’s Legacy in a battle anytime. (They happen to share Miami as a hometown.) From what I saw from him, that’s highly possible, though I think Legacy has him on energy and performance. And those bellymills, windmills on your stomach, were ridiculous. He didn’t seem to impress them as much as they’d expected during choreography, but he still got that ticket.

CURTAIN CALL
So surprise, surprise! Very few bad dancers were exploited this week, so I was happy to do exactly the same. If New York and Miami, to an extent, are any indication of how great the talent will be this year, then whittling our numbers down to 10 will be extremely hard.

For another take on this week’s episode, check out I’m So Excited! by Trisha Huntsman.

Season 7, Episode 1: Auditions 1 & 2 (originally aired May 27, 2010)

For more on So You Think You Can Dance, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

SUNDAY, 30th (Week of May 30 – June 5)

NATIONAL MEMORIAL DAY CONCERT: It takes a guy like Lionel Richie to officially kick off summer. (8pm/PBS)

MONDAY, 31st

DAD CAMP: This sounds like something MTV passed on. Shouldn’t it be the dad spin-off of 16 & Pregnant? (10:30pm/VH1)

TUESDAY, 1st

HELL’S KITCHEN: Why not just hire Gordon Ramsey to take Simon Cowell’s place on American Idol next season. It’ll be like Simon never left! (8pm/FOX)

WEDNESDAY, 2nd

ARE WE THERE YET? : I hope they get wherever they’re going soon. Series premiere. (9pm/TBS)

THURSDAY, 3rd

BURN NOTICE: It’s only been three months since the last season finale. Must be nice not having to wait so long between seasons! I’m not bitter… (9pm/USA)

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