American Idol Review: The Top Four Are Ready For Their Close-Up

The premise of this week’s American Idol presented itself as one designed for paying tribute to great achievement in cinematic music as the contestants were given songs from movies as their template. With countless memorable soundtracks in the film industry’s catalog to choose from, it should have made for an excellent opportunity to cross the generational gaps Idol themes often stumble with (last week’s Sinatra-centric episode comes to mind). With a dual referential basis working in its favor, a great song from a great movie is often able to retain a memorable, timeless quality more easily than a great song on its own. That being said, the actual execution of this seemingly promising theme ended up producing disappointing results as the Top Four inexplicably chose uninspiring, redundant and downright strange songs. Granted, contrary to what we’re led to believe, the Idols don’t have a scroll of endless tunes at their disposal – the actual list they had to work with is downright bizarre given the potential for vast opportunity (“Gangsta’s Paradise,” “Ghostbusters” and Slumdog Millionaire’s “Jai Ho” are a few of my favorite bewildering examples). Plus, with Season Nine now drawing to a close, it’s clearly become harder and harder over the years to wow the crowd (and the judges) if previous contestants in past seasons have already dominated the Idol stage with now-legendary performances of songs from the same list. Katharine McPhee’s beautiful “Over the Rainbow” in Season Five, Fantasia’s stunning “Summertime” in Season Three, and Kris Allen’s haunting “Falling Slowly” just last year have forever tarnished future contestants who want to attempt those songs themselves. Nevertheless, one or two moments of near-greatness were still achieved on Tuesday, making the night as a whole marginally worth the price of admission. Action!

The night begins with Seacrest introducing the Top Four with dramatic finesse so corny even he can hardly stifle his giggles. With Casey, Mike, Lee and Crystal initially facing away from the camera as Seacrest enters his obligatory spiel, they simultaneously turn their necks to set a fixed gaze on the viewers at home just in time for Seacrest to exclaim “… is American Idol!” I half expect them to add Zoolander-esque Blue Steel looks to accompany their stares, but Crystal, in particular, is having a hard time keeping a straight face at all. I don’t blame her  – the bit is so lame, I begin to wonder if my next-door neighbor heard my involuntary groan of disapproval. Keeping up with his required tendency to restate the obvious, Seacrest informs us that, as viewers, we’re “in control” of the contestants’ fate, as though there might be people out there who still aren’t aware of the voting process. He then scarcely redeems himself by referring to Simon as “Lord Cowell” before reminding us who this week’s mentor is: the insufferable Oscar winner Jamie Foxx.

I have no problem acknowledging Foxx’s talent as an actor, but I personally find his brand of derivative, redundant R&B music nearly as intolerable as his smug public demeanor. According to Seacrest, Foxx’s appearance this week is apropos considering the “theme fit for a star” – a statement upon which we’re treated to a corroborating view of Foxx receiving his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and his Academy Award. The montage, apparently designed to illustrate Foxx’s “career without boundaries” (Seacrest’s words, not mine), is given an old school, sepia-toned film quality to give us the impression the contestants will be singing classic songs from classic movies. Boy, are we in for a surprise. Foxx gets the award for the most banal statement of the night as he says the contestants really need to “up the ante” because (ready?) “music is the soundtrack to our lives.” Deep stuff.

Before we get to the performances, Foxx squeezes in more camera time for himself as he confuses everyone by explaining his method of handing out one of two possible t-shirts to the Idols during rehearsals. One says “Contestant,” the other says “Artist.” After he explains the “Artist” shirt is meant for those whose albums we can imagine buying and whose concerts we can imagine attending, Seacrest remarks how the “Contestant” shirt must, therefore, be the undesired prize of the two. “Not necessarily,” quips Foxx. Oh, for crying out loud.

Lee’s up first, singing Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose,” a song I wholeheartedly admit my 13-year-old self was obsessed with when it was featured in 1995’s Batman Forever. During rehearsal, Lee says Foxx was “kinda up in my face,” but, according to the footage, it’s beyond “kinda.” Foxx can probably see directly up Lee’s nose as he earnestly plants his mug about six inches from Lee’s, apparently in some attempt to evoke Lee’s deep-rooted spiritual connection to the song. Good grief. Foxx’s over-the-top theatrics right off the bat cause me to fear what cataclysmic event will occur when he encounters Big Mike. Those two drama queens in the same room could create some kind of melodramatic wormhole, creating the opportunity to ham it up together in an alternate universe. As for Lee, although he’s the proud recipient of an “Artist” shirt from Foxx, he sadly executes his worst performance in weeks. He gets off to a rough start vocally, as his out-of-tune murmurs don’t lend a helping hand to the tedious arrangement. The melody and key signature aren’t altered to fit Lee’s range, and he has problems hitting notes in his upper register. It isn’t a total catastrophe, but is definitely underwhelming to say the least, considering Lee’s steady improvement over the course of the competition. As Lee wraps up, the words “mediocre” and “karaoke” make a distinct appearance in my thought process, and my lack of response to the performance in general inadvertently speaks volumes.

As for the judges, Randy laments Lee’s lack of innovation, complaining he “did nothing with the song,” and says he should have sung Bon Jovi’s “Blaze of Glory” (which, upon further research, I discover is not on The List), or something else more akin to his “rocker” vibe. Ellen also wishes Lee would have “done more” with the song, but assures him he’s still “so good.” Kara says he “got lost” but is “still great,” while Simon echoes my thoughts and tells Lee it was “verging on karaoke” and says he would have, based on that performance, given Lee one of Foxx’s “Contestant” shirts. Indeed, despite Lee’s rather inarticulate mea culpa (i.e., cop-out) that he kept the arrangement straightforward in order to adhere to the integrity of the song, I’d agree there wasn’t anything remotely artistic about his performance this week. Sorry, Lee. Every rose has its thorn. C

Big Mike’s next, and we learn before the break he’s singing a Michael Jackson song. I begin testing myself on the MJ soundtrack inventory, and the only song of his from a movie that I can think of is the tune from Free Willy, which is precisely what Big Mike is singing. Prior to the performance, he tells Seacrest he set a goal for himself last year to make it to the Top Three in order to get the riotous homecoming parade he’s been verbally fantasizing about as of late. Since tonight is the penultimate episode before finding out if his goal will be fulfilled, Mike says the pressure is definitely on, remarking “I feel the weight of the night.” His meeting with Foxx is actually rather anti-climactic considering I had braced myself for some kind of egotistical apocalypse. Foxx, however, does hilariously try to create a hands-on, existential mentoring session like he’s the musical Mr. Miyagi as he asks Mike to punch him in the hands “a couple of times.” The result is a jammed finger for Foxx and a “Contestant” shirt for Mike. Heh. This song should work for Mike, especially given the staircase-descending gospel choir backing him up, but for reasons unbeknownst, it never quite reaches its potential. All the winning elements are present but strangely unfulfilled. I think to myself if my television were on mute and I only witnessed the visual depiction of the performance, I would assume Mike had secured a victory. He carries himself well on stage and the dramatic antics can work for a cinematic theme, but once the actual sound comes into play the end result is rather disappointing.

Randy is underwhelmed, saying Mike “started rough,” and should have picked an R&B song. Whatever, dawg. Ellen, like me, had high hopes for the gospel choir, saying “you can’t go wrong” with such a reliably moving accompaniment, but tells Mike she thought it was “predictable,” and that his goal should be to “win this thing” and not come in third place. Kara was looking for the “goosebumps” Mike’s renditions of “This Woman’s Work” and “Ready For Love” gave her, but is sorry that he “played it safe” instead, adding that he could have “done this in [his] sleep.” Personally, I think he might have been doing exactly that. Simon doesn’t know what Free Willy is, which causes a widespread digression into third-grade jokes about willies and such. Sigh. B-

Speaking of digressions, the time-filling segment coming up next is wisely devoted to the first of two duets among the Top Four (I’ll take this over another Ford commercial or mentor-fluffing in a heartbeat). It’s Lee and Crystal singing the Oscar-winning “Falling Slowly,” one of the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful songs in years from one of the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful movies in years, Once. As I mentioned earlier, Kris Allen killed it with this song last year and, in my opinion, solidified his spot as a real contender for the win. Nothing against the nice-enough Lee or the kick-ass Crystal, but I’m dubious they can reach the magnitude of Kris’ triumph – the stultifying start to the evening doesn’t help my expectations. Thankfully, the duet proves itself worthy of a spot in Idol legend, as it turns out to be one of the (very) few actual “moments” of this season the producers may wish to refer to in the future. Lee’s voice is well suited for the song and almost makes me forget his unfortunate appearance earlier this evening. He and Crystal sound great together and create some beautiful harmonies while playing their respective guitars. The performance is successful enough to jump-start the previously lackluster evening and wake up the previously sleepwalking judges (and reviewer).

Randy says the duet “could be a hit right now,” Ellen endearingly teases Lee and Crystal, dubbing them “the new Captain & Tennille,” Kara says it’s “one of [her] favorite moments of the entire season,” and Simon concisely calls the song and performance “fantastic.” I’ll be concise, too: A

Next, “the pride of Cool, Texas,” as Seacrest refers to Casey, is next, singing the only truly classic song of the night, Simon & Garfunkel’s  “Mrs. Robinson.” During rehearsal, Foxx takes a page from the Usher Raymond book of Idol mentoring and tells Casey to “seduce” him. “Act as if I’m a woman,” declares Foxx, adding, “if you can get past me looking in your eyes and asking you to seduce me, you can really perform that song.” Uh huh. Casey obliges, and Foxx proceeds to gaze at him as dreamily as a schoolgirl. Mission accomplished. One “Artist” t-shirt later, Casey is crooning the same tune to a sea of actual schoolgirls on live television, but, strangely, seemingly fails to “seduce” anyone. Despite his deft mandolin playing and competent vocals, his rendition of “Mrs. Robinson” lacks any of the pathos Casey’s other subdued performances, like “Jealous Guy” and “Don’t,” had effortlessly created. Foxx initially mentioned Casey lacked “focus,” which may be cause for his detachment tonight. Everything is musically complete in a technical sense, but devoid of any emotional relatability. I have no idea why he picked this song or what it may (or may not) mean to him, and Casey himself doesn’t seem to know, either.

Randy clearly has an idea, as he decides to declare Kara the target of Casey’s song choice, which should disgust everyone in the audience, but disgustingly doesn’t. Ellen unfortunately jumps on the bandwagon and calls Kara “Mrs. Robinson” to her face. Kara does a piss-poor job pretending to be annoyed by all of this before telling Casey she thinks the performance was his way of “fighting to stay in the competition.” Simon, as usual, is dead on, saying he “didn’t think it had the substance required” at this stage of the game, adding it “could have made more of an impact.” Could have, and should have. B

Just when I think tonight’s song choices couldn’t get weirder, Seacrest announces that Crystal is singing “the classic song from Caddyshack.” There was music in that movie? Apparently so, as Foxx explains the “classic song” in question is none other than Kenny Loggins’ “I’m Alright.” I’m certainly not all right upon hearing this news, but my confidence in Crystal never wanes, especially while rehearsal footage sounds promising and Foxx makes yet another exaggerated, nonsensical statement: “It’s not a song, it’s a testimony.” Well, all right, then. No disrespect to the hilarious Caddyshack or Kenny Loggins, but I’m relieved as Crystal’s version of “I’m Alright” renders the film’s virtually unrecognizable. Foxx’s grandiosity actually holds some water (!) as Crystal belts out the lyrics, which, along with the powerhouse vocals she’s kept hidden the last couple of weeks, do actually create an almost empowering tone of testimony. I wonder if Loggins ever imagined a young woman singing his song this way, and, if he’s gotten a chance to hear it, he’s as impressed as he should be. Crystal’s solo performance showcases more artistry than the other three combined, as she’s managed to revolutionize the theme song from an 80s comedy and turn it into a modern folk anthem.

Randy shouts a few sentences without actually saying anything, Ellen says the song got “Crystal-ized,” and made even better, Kara agrees, barking “Artist! Artist!” and Simon tells Crystal she’s “back in the game,” although everyone knows she was never really gone. Nevertheless, it’s good to have you back, Crystal – even if your rhythmically challenged boyfriend wears American flag Zubaz on national television. I get the feeling he’s seen Caddyshack a few times. A

Casey and Big Mike’s duet is next, and all we know before the break is it’s a Bryan Adams song. The only two Bryan Adams movie tunes I know of are the pleasant ballad from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and the abysmal “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” from Don Juan DeMarco. I remember Adams being dressed as a makeshift Zorro of sorts in the supremely lame video for the latter and thinking, for no particular reason, it was the stupidest thing I’d ever seen. Vehement detest for such things seem rational to a 12-year-old. When it’s made clear which Bryan Adams soundtrack song from the 90s Casey and Mike will serenade us with this evening (take a wild guess), I can feel my mind narrowing despite my best efforts. Thankfully, my historically negative connotation with this song has officially changed for the better upon Casey and Mike’s interpretation. Like Crystal and Lee, Casey and Mike are both playing acoustic guitars, but the comparisons end there as the guys are dressed to the Don Juan nines to fashionably accompany their song choice. Casey’s opening vocals are a bit worrisome, but he finds his footing quickly and his guitar work is virtually virtuoso from the start. Big Mike’s smooth tone helps balance Casey’s gravelly grit and the duet as a whole helps me hate “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” a bit less.

Randy thinks Casey and Mike worked well together, with Mike’s stronger voice and Casey’s stronger instrumentation creating a balance that made for a successful duet. Ellen answers the song’s question and tells us she has, indeed, really loved a woman, while Kara and Simon agree the duets tonight outshined the solo performances by miles. With the exception of Crystal’s Caddyshack cover, I wholeheartedly agree that tonight would have been a stinker of epic proportions if not for the merciful addition of the wholly enjoyable duets. A

With Aaron Kelly back in the glee club where he belongs, Wednesday’s results show was, for me, the most nerve-racking yet as I prepared myself for the departure of any of the Final Four. I don’t actively protest the continuing Idol existence of any of the remaining contestants at this point, and wouldn’t be terribly shocked upon anyone’s departure, even Crystal. Notorious fourth-place finisher Chris Daughtry performed with his namesake band, and I was reminded of past front-runners who were prematurely booted in Idol’s history. Daughtry was voted off at this point during the same season Taylor Hicks won, for Christ’s sake, while eventual Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson came in seventh (SEVENTH!) during Season Three. I’m probably psyching myself out, but I feel I have to accept, for the sake of my sanity, that Crystal isn’t a sure thing. After a “Bittersweet” appearance from Fantasia and her new teeth, Seacrest at least alleviates the tension for Casey, deeming him safe and restoring his ability to exhale. The other three are cruelly forced to sweat through a horrendous Bon Jovi performance in which a delusional Richie Sambora thought he had become the lead singer, and the tolerably benign rawk of the aforementioned Daughtry. Also, Crystal slips on a geisha dress, Lee wears an Indian kurta and Casey dons lederhosen in the whirlwind tour of Earth’s varied cultures, otherwise known as this week’s Ford commercial. In the second round of light-dimming, Seacrest informed Lee he’s “going back to Chicago,” but not for banishment to anonymity, but for his Top Three homecoming parade. Sneaky Seacrest! Crystal and Big Mike remained, while Seacrest felt the need to remind us several times that the results are “in no particular order.” I suppose, then, when Big Mike was eventually given the ol’ heave ho, we were supposed to infer that Crystal wasn’t in the bottom two. Big Mike handled his departure remarkably well and sang better than he did on Tuesday, despite coming up just short of his Top Three goal. His visibly devastated wife, on the other hand, did her best to not break out into complete hysterics while holding their adorably oblivious infant daughter. Stay tuned for next week as the three remaining Idols head home to meet their mayors and be given keys to their hometowns – somewhere among the festivities, they’ll surely find the time to sing for us, too.

Not enough American Idol for you?  Read Inisia Lewis’s review of this episode here.

Season 9, Episodes 38 & 39: Top 4 Performance and Results (originally aired May 11&12, 2010)

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Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.