American Idol Review: Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad

The end is nigh, readers, as this week’s American Idol showcases the finale before the finale, with the three remaining contestants vocally duking it out for the coveted two spots left in the competition. Personally, I feel the end of an era, not just the season, is truly upon us as the widely accepted opinion seems to be that Idol as a whole is on a downward spiral, sure to become official once Simon makes his exit. With the exception of two or three thrilling moments for yours truly – Siobhan’s “Paint It Black” and Crystal’s “People Get Ready,” in particular – among this season of dutiful, karaoke-worthy offerings, I find myself more than eager to crown a winner and move on with my life. Perhaps I’ll follow Simon to X Factor out of morbid curiosity, but unless Idol introduces a revolutionary new judge, I simply can’t stomach the fact that Randy Jackson will be the seasoned voice of criticism remaining on the panel come next year – no offense, dawg. Plus, Seacrest seems to be growing more intolerable as his omnipotence increases. As a Los Angeles resident by way of the Midwest, I have to say he’s even harder to avoid here in Hollyweird than in the real world. The man is seriously everywhere. All the time.

Speaking of my Midwestern roots, the producers (and that darn Seacrest) have decided to use the contestants’ homecoming festivities as the de facto theme this week in lieu of a celebrity mentor and corresponding music. Tuesday night’s performance episode kicks off with Seacrest verbally listing each Idol’s hometown instead of their name as he stands eerily close to each one. “Elliston, Ohio,” he declares in Crystal’s ear. “Mount Prospect, Illinois,” he proclaims before jokingly reminding Lee to smile. Lee does so, but only in attempt to not punch Seacrest in the face, I assume. “And Cool, Texas,” he affirms, before taking a step above Casey in order to appear equally tall. Casey does not acquiesce to Seacrest’s height insecurities and takes a step up, also. Heh. “This is the fight for the finale,” Seacrest crows. “And this is American Idol,” the contestants obediently recite in unison. Oh, boy.

We meet the judges again, as usual, with Kara mouthing “Thank you!” after her introduction (“For what?!” I actually reply. Out loud. Alone in my apartment. Thank God this is almost over.) and Lord Cowell giving a solemn salute after his. Next, we’re informed that the Top Three will be singing two songs each; one they chose for themselves and one selected for them by the judges. Interesting. Apparently, this is going to make for a tight schedule as Casey is shuffled on stage almost immediately with his song of choice, Eric Hutchinson’s “Ok, It’s Alright With Me.” As somewhat of a stickler for correct grammar, I have a hard time typing that title in its intended form (was “Okay, It’s All Right With Me” just too conformist, Eric?). Crystal’s Caddyshack tune (Kenny Loggins’ “I’m Alright”) was hard enough, but two Alright vs. All Right battles two weeks in a row is too much for me to take lying down. Listen, kids, it’s never all right to use “alright.” Never. I digress.

I’m faintly aware of this Hutchinson kid and his unassuming folky pop, and am surprised Casey isn’t trying something a bit showier for such an important night of the competition. He says this tune is “a good representation” of “some of the stuff” he writes in real life, though, so I’ll take his word for it and give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s off to an unfortunate start before he even utters a note, however, due to his astoundingly awful shirt. Heads up, Casey: Jimmy Buffett called, and he wants his wardrobe back. As for the performance, it’s as modest as Casey’s humble personality. The poor guy just doesn’t have a ruthless bone in his body and can’t muster the audacity to slay the stage with the kind of showstopper he needs to garner the votes to go to the finale. While he sounds perfectly adequate and has clearly established himself as a person with undeniable musical talent, I get the feeling Casey may be so shocked he’s made it this far the possibility of winning has never really occurred to him. In fact, I suspect winning may not even be a real priority. Based on this performance it seems Casey is going to sing what he wants to sing, regardless of whether or not he thinks it’ll propel his Idol career to the next level – an observation that, frankly, makes me respect him more than ever, but also quite certain he’ll be headed back to Texas sooner rather than later. There’s never a glory moment where the crowd squeals with delight, and his awkward point towards the audience during the last note solidifies the mediocrity of this performance for me.

An unimpressed Randy says the title of the song made sense because the song was “just kinda all right” with him, while Ellen is a bit despondent, telling Casey she wishes he had “brought it.” Me, too. Kara notes the difficulty of performing a lesser-known song, saying it’s hard to “take it to the next level and make it your own” if it’s the first time most of the audience has heard it. “This isn’t going great, is it?” asks Simon. “Not really,” retorts Casey. No kidding. Simon continues the ho-hum judges’ response, telling Casey it was a “dud” song choice and akin to “the salad” portion of dinner service. “Hopefully something more substantial is coming,” he adds. “It’s a two-course meal,” Seacrest pipes in, reminding us Casey does have another shot tonight to bring down the house. Regardless of the outcome, I think “it’s okay, it’s all right” with Casey in the long run. B-

Crystal’s next, and she’s singing Melissa Etheridge’s “Come To My Window,” a choice which seems to please the cheering crowd. “It’s a song about passion and love and things like that,” says Crystal when Seacrest inquires about the reasons behind her decision to perform it. The two decide tonight’s mantra is “have fun and get votes” before Crystal “moseys on over” to the stage. While I championed her Dylan-esque harmonica holder earlier in the season, tonight it seems superfluous and almost distracting as the harp is only given a few halfhearted toots at the very beginning and end of the song. In between, it seems to just get in the way of her physical performance and actually block our view of her face. While the song itself is definitely a good choice for Crystal from a musical perspective, her voice sounds uncharacteristically strained and the arrangement is a bit speedy and unorganized. She pulls it off on an overall level, but marginally so, considering what we know she’s capable of. The performance as a whole needs to be tighter – it almost seems as though she hadn’t rehearsed enough.

Randy “didn’t love” the arrangement, either, but says Crystal’s vocal “rose above” and “made it work.” Ellen tells Crystal “Melissa would be very proud,” while Kara agrees with Randy that she seemed to be “fighting” the arrangement. While I initially concur, Kara then tells Crystal the song would have worked better acoustically because she doesn’t have the “tone” or “rasp” that Melissa Etheridge does. I, ahem, beg to differ. In fact, instead of “Come To My Window,” I would have chosen a real Etheridge anthem, “The Only One,” for Crystal precisely because she does possess the required vocal quality. So there! Simon doesn’t think it was the “most stunning version” of the song, but respects Crystal because she hasn’t “compromised herself as an artist,”  adding that it was “an honest performance.” For me, it was honestly disappointing. B

Lee DeWyze’s trip back to Chicago was a game-changer for him, as he tells us he wanted to “bring the energy” of his homecoming back to the Idol studios with him to secure his spot in the finale. He’s singing Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Simple Man,” a choice he says he made because “every lyric speaks true to me.” Zen master Lee then adds, “When you understand something,, you can perform it better.” How profound. And simple. What a profoundly “Simple Man” you are, Lee. He definitely has more performance swagger than ever tonight, moving on stage with the effortless confidence that seemed lost on him mere weeks ago. You certainly have accomplished a great deal, young grasshopper. The song itself isn’t a showstopper for me – I liken it to album fodder rather than a hit single – but Lee certainly has a better command of the stage than Casey (tonight, anyway) and an attention-grabbing presence goes a long way on Idol, regardless of a bum note or two.

The judges prove this sentiment true as all four of them are practically drooling by the time the applause dies down. Randy says “Simple Man” was a “brilliant song choice,” and teases that “somebody in here is feeling like they could win!” Indeed, Lee seems pretty convinced of his skyrocketing stock in the competition, and I’m beginning to really believe he might win this thing, too – especially after Crystal’s worrisome turnout thus far tonight. Ellen marvels how Lee started as “a little lamb,” and is now a graceful, galloping “gazelle, or an impala.” Impala? “Jaguar!” Randy offers. “Round One goes to Lee,” declares Kara, after telling him he “showed us everything [he’s] got” in regards to “dynamics” and an emotional connection to the song. Simon informs  Lee he “just crushed the other two” contestants and calls “Simple Man” an “absolutely on the money” song choice. This is feeling less and less like a contest by the minute. B+

We’ve reached the second half of tonight’s performances, where the Idols will perform songs chosen for them by the judges. We’re treated to footage of the contestants learning which song they’ve been assigned as they each stand in front of an adoring crowd at their respective local AT&T store. Are they drinking Coke, too? While driving away in a Ford? Subtlety certainly isn’t one of Fox’s strong suits. Casey informs his hometown fans and us that Kara and Randy have chosen John Mayer’s “Daughters” as his sophomore effort this evening. While I’m aware many people have banished John Mayer from cultural relevance and their iPods due to his big mouth, I have to admit I think this is a sublimely written song that could end up a home run for Casey. Past performances of subdued, emotionally driven songs have really worked for him, a la “Jealous Guy,” “Don’t,” and even his Bryan Adams duet last week with Big Mike. Unfortunately, while his effort is discernible and it’s certainly better than the first performance, “Daughters” never takes off the way I’d hoped and the fact I can hardly think of a thing to say about Casey’s rendition pretty much sums it all up. It just isn’t captivating in the least, nor does it create a lasting impression. Nice knowing ya, Casey.

Randy, however, really wants to believe in his own awesomeness as he tells Casey the song “fit [him] like a glove” and presents a musical direction he should follow. Ellen tells Casey “a lot of daughters, mothers, and, who knows, sons” will be voting for him after that performance, and Kara (as equally unable to admit defeat as Randy)  tells Casey “Daughters” showed his “more artistic side.” Really? Casey’s strongest artistic skill is playing guitar, and, as Simon points out, the climax of “Daughters” is a “rather limp guitar solo.” While I believe this performance would have been perfectly acceptable early in the season, as a finale clincher it just comes up short. Simon can hardly contain his giggles after the crop dusting of B.S. from Kara and Randy and manages to collect himself enough to tell Casey there wasn’t any “wow factor.” God, this show is going to tank without him. B-

After a cute cutaway shot of Ellen and Crystal goofing around before the commercial break, we’re shown video of Crystal in Ohio (at the AT&T store!) announcing Ellen’s song choice for her: Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed.” Ellen tells Seacrest she wanted to give Crystal a chance to “show some range” and “surprise everyone.” While I am surprised, it’s a pleasantly surprising song choice, and I’m feeling optimistic as the performance gets off to a gorgeous start. Crystal is also completely devoid of any instrument for only the second time this season, and her resulting uneasiness is still noticeable as her movements around the stage are a bit stiff. However, her voice simply cuts through the air like buttah. We’re hearing her hit notes she’s never attempted on the show before and she’s wailing exactly the way Kara said she couldn’t a mere few minutes ago. For the first time in the competition, Crystal’s voice is her true instrument and I’m pleased that Lee may not have this as wrapped up as the producers would like to think. As a side note, I do notice that Crystal chose not to change the gender-specific lyrics, belting out “Baby I’m a man” enough times that I shudder at the thought of various idiotic media blowhards having a field day with this, but I commend her for respecting the song and singing it as it was written. I’m forced to recall Paige Miles’ switcheroo with “Honky Tonk Woman,” and we all know how well that worked out for her. Further props to Crystal for keeping it real.

Randy’s back on team Bowersox, shouting, “Great song, great vocals, and, America, I think we’ve got somebody else in it to win it!” I’m thrilled Crystal is showing more of a competitive side, as well, due to her doubted tenacity earlier in the season. “I couldn’t have asked for more,” declares a satisfied Ellen, while Kara offers curiously backhanded compliments such as, “You did a lot of risky things tonight, and I think it paid off.” Simon tells Crystal she will probably be “thanking Ellen for putting [her] in the finals,” adding that this performance proved she’s “got soul.” Amen, brother. A

With two contestants and three judges down, process of elimination tells me Simon is picking Lee’s final song tonight, conveniently scheduled to close the show. The Idol execs have clearly operated with the discretion of a foghorn for nine years now, but the lack of subtlety is only beginning as we learn Lee will be performing none other than Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” a guaranteed tear jerker if done properly. Poor Tim Urban and his attempt at this song only weeks ago (not to mention Jason Castro’s version in Season Seven) has clearly been forgotten about already, despite Simon’s disclaimer that “we’ve heard this song before, but I don’t think we’ve heard it the way Lee’s gonna do.” Indeed, the manipulation machine has kicked into high gear as the budget for Lee’s performance seems to be about five times that of Casey’s and Crystal’s. From the angelic lighting to the timpani drums and the emerging choir, Lee’s rendition of “Hallelujah” is indeed moving and beautiful. Too bad I feel completely exploited as a viewer. This blatant agenda exhibition on Idol’s part would enrage me if I were a member of Casey’s family, or even Crystal’s. The treatment given to Lee is so beyond favoritism, I feel I’m being directly instructed who to vote for as though Big Brother were watching.

Of course, Randy says he’s “been waiting all season to see who’s going to throw down the real gauntlet and try to win the whole darn thing,” calling Lee’s performance “unbelievable, man, unbelievable!” Ellen continues the pattern of repetition, saying it was “stunning, just stunning,” while Kara tells Lee he’s “what this show is all about.” A corporate money machine thinly veiled as a talent show? I can practically see the dollar signs flashing in Simon’s eyes as Kara adds that Lee is “the heart of this show … you just owned the entire night.” Simon, of course, is “very proud” of his new project and Lee smartly takes the time to thank him. Personally, I do think “Hallelujah” is one of the best songs ever written and Lee did a fine job given all the help handed to him. However, Casey or Crystal would have been just as successful (in Crystal’s case, maybe more so) if either one had also been given the opportunity to close the show with the production value of an off-Broadway musical. The only thing not working in Lee’s favor at the moment is the seemingly impossible task of topping himself during next week’s finale (let’s face it, folks, he’s in like Flynn). A for the overall performance, but a big, fat F for the patronizing ulterior motives.

I don’t feel an overwhelming need to discuss who the likely final two are, but I do feel a pang of fear for Crystal, given the fact that Casey’s dreamy-as-ever aesthetic could win him an underdog spot. During Wednesday’s results show, before Lee is declared safe, of course, we’re treated to Seacrest pretending to be Oprah as the longest interview  in the history of American Idol is conducted on stage between he and the contestants. For such an overblown segment, an alarmingly few number of complete sentences are actually spoken. Somebody named Travis Garland confuses everyone with a seemingly lyric-less “song” called “Believe.” Garland’s main endorser, a much slimmer Perez Hilton, claims this guy is better than Justin Timberlake, which is like saying Ke$ha is better than Lady Gaga. The strange phenomenon known as Justin Bieber also lip-syncs his way through a performance no one managed to stampede, and the extent of my bewilderment over the craziness for this kid knows no bounds. However, I’m now beginning to understand the extended stay of Aaron Kelly on this season of Idol. In a normal universe, this Bieber kid would be the biggest dork in school. In this universe, he’s a millionaire. Keep the dream alive, Aaron. After extended footage of the contestants’ homecoming parades, Casey is indeed set free from his life on Idol (except for the upcoming tour, of course), and his departure and corresponding swan song are the classiest yet. Prepare for next week, readers, as the ultimate, inevitable showdown between Crystal and Lee officially takes place and American Idol as we know it is put to rest forever.

For another take on this episode of American Idol, read Fat Lady, Just Sing Already! by Inisia Lewis.

Season 9, Episodes 40 & 41: Top 3 Performance and Results (originally aired May 18&19, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.