American Idol Review: Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner!

Kris Allen sang “The Truth,” and I was just happy he got the stage to himself. I love “Live Like We’re Dying” (and don’t care that he stole it from The Script), and I’m liking the continued angst in his new single. And, of course, still gorgeous. A-

Aaron and Siobhan must of gotten a hoot after kicking it with the Bee Gees and singing “How Deep Is Your Love”. I have nothing to really critique but nothing to get excited about. Snooze. C+

Mike joined Michael McDonald for a rousing rendition of the Doobie Brothers’ “Takin’ It To the Streets”. McDonald’s voice is as smooth as ever, but the song was a teeny bit out of Mike’s range. B

Cristina Aguilera got to promote her new CD Bionic with two of her best oldies but goodies. The Top 6 girls sang “Beautiful” before transitioning to “Fighter.” The solos were pretty good, and Paige showed those rare vocal chops. But when they all sang together, I immediately realized why they don’t let them sing live for group numbers. Thankfully, we got to end with Christina flying solo on “You Lost Me.” The boys didn’t fare much better with Hall & Oates’ medley of “I Can‘t Go for That,” and “Maneater.” Andrew managed to suck the life out of his solo, and Aaron just seemed out of place. At least, we got another true artist rescue with “You Make My Dreams Come True.” Contestants: C Christina and Hall & Oates: B+/B

I’d been dreaming about Crystal covering an Alanis Morisette song, but I got something better in duet form. Crystal started with “Ironic” and jumped to “You Oughtta Know” when Miss Morrisette stepped out. Does Alanis age? She looked and sounded fantastic. The pairing was genius (minus all the weird stage crossing.) But Crystal blended well while managing to shine. B+

Carrie Underwood, does she ever disappoint? “Undo It” certainly didn’t. Great voice? Check. Great song? Check. Great energy? Check. A

Casey kicks off “Every Rose Has It Thorn,” and I’m flabbergasted. Brett Michaels is actually performing, after almost dying about five times. Seriously, this guy is fearless. And he must be truly be sweet after sharing so much of the song with Casey. B

Lee just loves to bring every instrument possible on stage with him. He had a full jazz band this time, but at least he had a reason. It’s Chicago! The Band! Musically, they’re obviously top notch, but vocally, the two didn’t mesh well. At least, Lee looked like he was in heaven, mouthing words when it wasn’t his turn to sing. C

I think American Idol ruined General Larry Platt’s “Pants On the Ground” for me. A genuinely funny moment ruined FOREVER! It now stands as the perfect example of how the Hollywood machine corrupts with its glitzy, professional dancers and fancy stage lights. William Hung didn’t help. Still a tiny, unsoiled part of the memory makes me chuckle a little. D+

The Top 12 sang Janet Jackson to the stage with “Nothing,” and she pretty much took it from there. It’s crazy how much she sounds like her brother Michael. I could have fallen asleep with the mellow, old-school J, but she came back with a vengeance on “Nasty Boy.” B-

The performances concluded with Lee and Crystal teaming up with Joe Cocker and “With A Little Help From My Friends.” Rarely does a radically different cover prevail, but this Cocker version of the Beatles song still holds strong decades later and so does the man who’s got soul to spare. Lee didn’t fit so well, but Crystal was right at home. A

FAREWELL COWELL
All the Simon nostalgia got to me. I still can’t imagine the show without him. And the clips of Simon at his best, when he’s meanest and rudest, reminded me of the carefree days of Idol when expectations weren’t so high. Oh, I miss the good ol’ days.

In remembrance, Dane Cook performed a lame song supposedly based on all the mean things Simon said. I found him funny during my college days, but the real excitement came when people, from the most memorable “bad” auditions, flooded the stage. One of ’em stole Dane’s mic, then wrestled with Tatiana Del Toro attempted to rescue the show. (I assume with some doubt.) Oh, and he was ranting about taking Simon’s job while screaming “nobody cares about you” to…who? I’m not sure. It seemed like Dane, but then he started screaming it at everyone. Cut to commercial! A

Paula got a lot of screen time, getting some of cute jabs. “Is Simon a flirt? Yeah, if you’re a mirror.” And, “After eight years of sitting between two guys that have bigger boobs than me, I’d had enough.” Oh and, “Ryan, where’s Ryan? You’re so cute, and I want my lip gloss back.” I, firmly, believe we’ll see her work again in the world of singing competitions. ::cough::X-Factors::cough:: And she got a hero’s welcome when she appeared on stage, looking quite dashing in a little pink number and soaking in the moment. Though her parting tribute seemed a little loopy (which just added to the nostalgia) and was less funny than it should have been, the video tribute had me howling with laughter.  

Don’t get me started though, because they so cleverly followed a hook with a jab by bring out past winners for solos and then filling the stage with past contestants for “Together We Are One.” Kelly, Ruben, Fantasia and Taylor joined Kris and Carrie among many, many others. It was the first true Idol reunion so I‘ll get over the fact that it sounded a little off, and I got to see far too few of my favorites sing. A+

In the end, Ryan asked Simon to come on stage where he thanked everyone and said all the hoopla about his replacement shouldn’t matter because America’s the judges, and we’ve done well so far. Nicely said, Cowell. I’ll see you in a year! 

AND THE WINNER IS…  
While so much of the night was supposedly about a new winner, so little actually was. With all the fanfare for Simon, this year’s final two definitely got the shaft. But maybe that’s karmic retribution for a snoozer of a season. Less than 2% separated Lee and Crystal. What a small painful margin. Crystal was all smiles and serenity, and Lee looked like he wanted to puke. It pretty much represented how they’ve been this entire season. But you know what can always clue you in to who the winner is? (No, I don’t mean being taller than Ryan.) The crowd. The roar and applause, and Lee was clearly the winner. When his name was read, I was just happy to see his release and watch he tension leave the room. It was just icing on the cake to hear him tackle U2 and succeed this time (when he wasn’t crying.) And once again, our Idol season has come to close. It’s been fun!

Need more Idol? Read Guess Who DeWinner Is? by Erin Bigelow here.

Season 9, Episodes 42 & 43: Top 2 Performance and Finale: Winner Revealed (originally aired May 25 & 26, 2010)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro.