Gossip Girl Review: Bring Your Kleenex…and a Puke Bucket
May 18, 2010 by Trisha Leigh
Filed under Television
I don’t recall the exact quote, and I went into such a distraught state at the end of the finale I deleted the episode. Let’s just say Blair referring to Chuck as “Basshat” was a moment of brilliance in an otherwise devastatingly written finale. I felt, for the most part it was written with the sole intention of shocking fans and viewers, but with little thought to any developing plotlines, character arcs, or common sense in general.
September is far away. FAR AWAY, but that is how long all of us Gossip Girl fans have to wait to find out how the writers are going to extricate themselves from this quagmire.
The episode revolves around Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen), or as someone on Twitter referred to her, the Antichrist. It shall be her new moniker as far as I’m concerned. Oh, and let me say upfront that Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg) is back during this episode. I’ll get back to her crazy ass at the end.
If you recall, last week left us with Dan (Penn Badgley) and Serena (Blake Lively) together, Nate (Chace Crawford) and Jenny together, and Chuck (Ed Westwick) giving Blair (Leighton Meester) an ultimatum. Nate and Jenny wake up together, but we are immediately reassured nothing went awry and they are still “friends.” At least, Nate is. Dan and Serena awake and…it seems like something has happened between them. Eventually we find out they talked, snuggled, and KISSED. I, for one, support a Dan and Serena reunion.
Oh yes, but I forgot to mention the Antichrist took a photo of them asleep together and sent it to gossip girl. Nate is upset with S, obviously, but even when she and Dan insist it was only a kiss and it meant nothing, he sees right through them. S and Dan start to wonder if maybe there WAS something to it. In the meantime, Nate emails Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) to rat Dan out and she stops taking his calls. Boo Hoo. Not.
Blair tries to resist the lure of a future with Chuck, even dragging Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski) with her on a date with Columbia boy to stop her from going to the Empire State Building. In the end, she decides to go just as Dorota’s water breaks and she goes into labor. Blair rushes to meet Chuck after she gets her maid to the hospital, but he’s gone. She finds a bunch of pink peonies in the trash.
Chuck is, of course, brokenhearted and drinking alone when who should show up with her usual bad-perfect timing? The Antichrist herself, looking for a shoulder to cry on after her father informed her she’ll be spending the summer and following school year in the country with her mother. Instead of leaving, she decides to have a drink with Chuck.
Which is when, for some reason, he kisses her. I gagged. I threw up in my mouth a little. She. Is. Disgusting.
This is the only part of the episode I thought was well written. We, as the viewers, know Blair has changed her mind and is probably on her way to Chuck’s apartment right then. He doesn’t, though, and expects never to have a chance to be with Blair again, so why should he care if he has sex with the nastiest piece of vermin on the show? For us watching, the tension is unbearable as we mentally beg Chuck to just WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE NEXT COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Chuck deflowers Jenny and then Blair arrives and tells him she loves him and doesn’t want to be without him. Jenny hears everything and then leaves, bawling her eyes out. I don’t feel bad for her. She knew what she was doing. Chuck gave her more than one opportunity to leave. Jenny knows who Chuck is; he’s never lied about that or tried to play the nice guy.
Eric (Connor Paolo) finds the Antichrist crying and looking more terrible than usual, and she tells him she slept with Chuck. When he asks why she would do that, the Antichrist replies “He was sad, I was sad.” Which is actually honest, so…why would anyone get mad at Chuck?
Eric informs Dan of what happened, and Dan arrives to punch Chuck in the face right as he is about to propose to Blair. Blair realizes what happened, tells Jenny never to return to Manhattan or she’ll…I don’t know what, but if I were Blair I wouldn’t hesitate to call in a mafia hit on Jenny after last night. Then Blair tells Chuck to forget the entire night ever happened, she hates him again, all that jazz.
I have no idea why anyone is angry with Chuck. He’s Chuck. He’s heart broken over losing Blair, and desperately hopeless regarding his future, so he clung to the woman in front of him. It was disgusting, don’t get me wrong. It’s making me reach for my puke bucket again now, thinking about their lips touching. But…he thought Blair didn’t love him.
So how can she dump him? It doesn’t make sense. I might have thrown a pillow at my television.
The season ends like this: Jenny leaves for her mother’s, S and B decide to take a girls’ trip to Paris, Chuck is off to Prague, Nate is having a threesome with hookers, and Dan makes a last minute decision to follow Serena to Paris instead of trying to make things right with Vanessa.
Enter Georgina Sparks, who arrives at Dan’s loft…super pregnant. She says it’s his.
Oh, and then Chuck gets mugged, and when he tries to save the huge and gorgeous engagement ring he bought for Blair, he gets shot.
Is it Dan’s baby? Is Chuck going to die, or will his near death experience bring him and Blair back together? Dan and Serena?
It’s going to be a long four months.
XOXO.
For another take on this week’s episode, check out Everything Explodes by Matt DeGroot.
Season 3, Episode 22: Last Tango, Then Paris (originally aired May 17, 2010)
For more on Gossip Girl, click here.
Mondays at 8/7C, The CW
Photographs courtesy of The CW, Giovanni Rufino
Seriously loving the comments, guys. I am so happy to know I am not the only person who despises Jenny Humphrey.
Kim – I totally agree with you. The episode did nothing to change my perception of Chuck or Jenny. I still love Chuck with an unnatural ferocity and hate Jenny with the fire of a thousand suns.
Mari – Thanks for the compliment! I’m glad you enjoyed them. Also, thanks for sharing how you found my reviews. The fact that you googled “I hated Jenny Humphrey” and found them seriously made my life.
Bea – I have no idea what the writers were thinking. Jenny and Chuck are an abomination.
See you all in Sept!
The Jenny/Chuck thing should never have happened. Not all plot twists meant to shock are good ones. What was anyone thinking???
I agree with you; I hate Jenny! I read an interview with Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage in which they said that the purpose of this episode was to turn everyone’s preconceived notions around, to make viewers think twice about disliking Jenny and liking Chuck. It had the opposite effect on me! Ugh. Jenny is just gross. And what’s up with her nasty extensions?
At least Vanessa wasn’t around, so there was one good thing about this episode!
Oh, and, I’m with you, I like Serena and Dan together.
So I found your gg reviews when I googled (I still google, I refuse to bing anything) “I hate jenny humphrey”, because I do, I really do and I just wanted to know if I had gone crazy watching too much gg or if other people agreed that jenny is the most worthy of hatred. I sooooo agree with you, why the heck were they blaming Chuck for that little conniving b….s actions. The antichrist (perfect nickname, after all she really is) dealt drugs, tried to ruin Nate and Serena’s relationship, tried to help William, sent that picture of Dan and Serena to Gossip Girl risking not only Nate and Serena’s but Vanessa and Dan’s relationship as well, and all of a sudden she’s the innocent little girl who’s been wronged by the big bad wolf? Give me a break. I’m really hoping Jenny has left for good.
I absolutely LOVED your gg reviews!
Your comments about the Antichrist says it all…wish I had seen the episode, but this is the next best thing!
Your comments about the Antichrist says it all…wish I had seen the episode, but this is the next best thing!
You basically said what I was thinking. I was not only left disgusted with the finale I was also left like I was toyed with, a lot of stuff didn’t make sense over and over. One, I think the Chuck/Jenny thing was unnecessary mostly because he nearly raped the Antichrist a few seasons back, something I feel like the writers are nodding happily about in their own sick twisted contrived plotted minds. I also cant get out of my head the Antichrist changing the bloodied sheets which I cannot tell you how over the top that was. And seriously Chuck and Blair were broken up, he could’ve had an entire Japanese harem there and it wouldn’t have mattered since the HUGE plothole of the night was the fact that Blair seemed without a phone. Two episodes ago she had time to text Chuck to thank him for Columbia, and now when she knows he’s going to give up on them she can’t text “RUNNING LATE, CAN TRU LUV BE FOR AROUND 8PM? THX!” ? That was a huge plot hole to me.
I was a Jenny fan until this episode, I didn’t feel bad for her and I was waiting for Blair to go all Jerry Springer on her nasty ratty hair.
Dan and his moral stick up his butt is just unbelievable in this episode, not only does he cheat on his girlfriend with his ex-girlfriend, betrays his friend (Nate) but he has the Brooklyn-sized balls to forget he’s walking the moral thin line and attack Chuck when he knows full well his sister is a ho-bag. Dan can go back to his corner and write poetry about Serena’s shiny hair as he hugs his dolly.
Then enter Serena, a more stupid person cant be found in New York, she has me at my witt’s end with first her daddy issues and now, when they’re apparently solved, she’s bounced into boyfriend issues. I dont really understand what all the build up was for Nate/Serena this season if it was going to be trashed in 2 episode. I’m not their biggest fan, I thought they lacked development in previous seasons, but even I realize Dan/Serena came out of left field. That’s the outer left field. Season 4 is a predictable quadrangle from hell.
Georgina was a breath of fresh comical air. At least she’ll keep Dan occupied so he doesn’t spend his time chasing girls. Now he’s got to find a way to get rid of them.
Chuck’s character regression was ridiculous and just juvenile. I honestly feel that sometimes they bring in new sets of writers who have not been told what happened in the previous episode to write a new one. One shift ends and another begins. Having him shot and bleeding in the streets of Europe is not redemption, it’s a cheap cop out and I dont buy it, I also dont buy the ring angle. They’re 18!!! @#$#$@# I’m also not left on the edge of my seat because I know he doesn’t die. Chuck Bass is Gossip Girl and any attempt to traumatize me with this is insulting. This is not a show known for the poor kid uttering “I’m Dan Humphrey”.
This character Cameron for Blair was a waste of screen time that should’ve been devoted to the regulars. Who writes this?
But it’s not all bad in the finale. Some things I just loved and adored:
- the fact that Dan’s “love” for Vanessa was as short lived as a republican president’s approval rating
- the fact that Vanessa, it seems, is gone to Haiti to possibly never come back. The last few episodes I forgot there was even a character named Vanessa and that made me immensely happy, I’ve never encountered such a bland character in all my years watching TV
- the fact that the antichrist is now gone from New York hopefully forever and ever (and if she comes back knocked up I will officially watch this show for laughs)
- Serena/Blair in the end, besties for life… or until Chuck is found in a coma in a mediocre European hospital and Blair runs to her beloved to hold his limp hand
- Dorota is just screen gold, I love that woman
- Eric. I still fail to see how Vanessa is a series regular and Eric is not. I fail to comprehend that thought and the more I try to understand it the more confused I get. I also fail to see why the one gay character is just usually shoved around and never given a decent storyline or perhaps some awesome scenes with Chuck to make up for one of the many things missing.
- The writer’s ridiculous interviews right after the finale smells blatantly of damage control. People didn’t get your storyline or like it? REALLY? The shock! You have to *explain* it to people so people would understand it? I’m shocked to death, my friends.
Will I tune in next September? Who knows, perhaps I’ll wake up with amnesia like Chuck (since we’re now in daytime TV storyline territory or have we forgotten about the monosyllabic love-child of Rufus and Lily?) and hopefully forget this disjointed and forced storyline all together. That would make me SO HAPPY!
Tabula Rasa!