Lost Review: The Last Recruit

WTF, ABC?

Call me nit picky or catty, but wasn’t LOST supposed to be ALL new episodes until the finale??? Imagine my horror last week when we didn’t get a new episode. Devastation set in. But I had another week to let “The Last Recruit” sit with me.

“The Last Recruit” made for a cluster-Flocke in Oceanic 815 world, and the hospital and the police station became the hot spots for Universe X losties. Let us begin with the less dramatic (or was it?) Universe X sideways world:

Locke has been run over by Desmond. Sun has been shot by Mikhail. Both are rushed to the emergency room and Sun slips back into consciousness for a hot second to freak out over the sight of Locke. Did she make a psychic connection to her Oceanic 815 self where she knows that Flocke is bad news? TBD. Locke is lookin a lot like he did right after his dad threw him out a window in Oceanic 815 world. Except this time instead of Jacob placing a hand on him and telling him everything will be ok, it’s Dr. Linus. All Locke can muster the strength to say is that his name is John and his next of kin is Helen, his fiancee. Oy.

Meanwhile, at the LA police station, Kate and Sawyer have some witty (or was it?) banter in their leather jackets. Sawyer thought it was pretty cray cray that he would end up arresting Kate after their run in at LAX. Kate, in her annoyingly I’m-too-cool demeanor plays coy and says she isn’t a murderer and thinks that the only reason he let her go was because he didn’t want anyone to know he was in Australia. I was pretty bored with this whole exchange. Mostly because…ugh Kate just pisses me off sometimes. Good thing Miles got some security footage from the Keamy crime scene and officers Strom and Ford are on the case!

Ok, how the hell did they know how to track down Sayid? Whatever. Looks like it’s too bad Sayid sold his soul in Oceanic 815 universe to be with Nadia because he disappoints her by hurting people no matter the universe. Maybe. Sayid tries to flee the scene and make a run for it, unfortunately Sawyer is a bad ass with a hose and catches him as he makes his move to escape.

If you weren’t in police or medical custody this episode, you were at some office building that houses an adoption agency and Ilana the lawyer (mysteriously sans accent). Desmond is weaving his master plan of alternate universe enlightenment (weaving…like Jacob…ooh) by getting a little family reunion going with Claire and the Shephard clan. Desmond gets creepy with non-Crazy Claire at the office building and convinces her to go see this lawyer that he just happens to be going to, because adoption contracts can be tricky. What does Claire know, she’s Australian, so she takes him up on his offer and meets Ilana, esq., who just happens to have been trying desperately to track down a Claire Littleton! Bah!

Jack and his son David arrive at the lawyer’s office (ps, could David and Jack be cuter together? no, they could not) and are shocked to see Claire (in a terrible wig btw, come on LOST!) and she says that Jack’s dad was her dad too. So, in alternate Universe did Claire know Dr. daddy Shephard? Did she just find out? She didn’t seem too shooked over the whole thing so who knows…and we won’t know for a while because Jack gets a call from the hospital that there is a dural sac situation and the hospital needs the doc stat. So David and Jack take off (and look even cuter, yes it was possible, as they walk down the corridor totally in sync) and Jack is shocked to find that his patient, that he needs to save, is the one and only John Locke from the Oceanic flight he was on. Boom!

I was slightly bored with the whole Universe X this week, so onto Oceanic 815! All the losties (except Jin) are now the Flocke. Danger! Jack and Flocke have a little chat in the woods. Jack asks what he is, Flocke says Jack knows what he is (not helpful) and Jack (in an uncomfortable looking squat on the ground) asks if Flocke was his “father” when he found water. Flocke answers in the affirmative. Now, was this the writers’ plan all along? Or did this just fit the storyline enough (like the effing whispers?). Unclear, but I did feel a little let down with that too, even though I suspected it. Flocke tells Jack that he looks like John now because he was a sucker, believing he was important enough to have a purpose with this island. Ouch. Crazy Claire followed the pair in the woods, because Jack is her brother (creepster) and then she bitches some more about how Flocke was all she had when they all left her. No, crazy, you ran away in the middle of the night with a smoke monster. You are in the wrong. Woof. She also, creepily of course, tells Jack that whether he likes it or not, he is now with Flocke, and he has been since the moment he let him talk. Uhhhh ok?

Next, annoying Zoe shows up with a walkie and tells Flocke that they took something (Desmond) that Widmore needs, and unless he returns Des (unnamed) that the team of geophysicists is basically going to blow them up. Not very diplomatic, Zoe. She leaves the walkie with Flocke and he smashes it to basically tell her it’s on. Sidenote: remember when Ben took Locke to see “Jacob” in the cabin? And he noted how Jacob doesn’t like technology? Then the fake Jacob went ape shiz on the two of them and Locke heard him say “help me”? Do we think Flocke had been in the cabins? And that he really doesn’t like technology? And that he was the one that told Locke to move the island? Over thinking it, oops.

Making moves, Flocke sends Sawyer and a buddy of his choosing (Freckles) to get his boat and meet the rest of them at some point on the island to go and get on the plane. Sawyer has a con of his own, and tells Jack to bring Hurley, Sun and Frank only and meet them at some dock. He says Sayid and Claire aren’t invited. Fast forward to Jack actually listening, and bringing them to the boat, but then Crazy shows up, pissed again that they are leaving without her. Kate plays peace keeper and says she isn’t going if Crazy isn’t so both hop on board. Crazy warns that Flocke is going to be mad when he finds out they are gone…

Jump to Jack losing his mind (or is he?). He tells Sawyer it feels wrong leaving the island, and if Flocke wants them to be gone so badly, he is scared to do just that. So Sawyer is pissed and Jack is conflicted, so Jack plays the martyr once again, apologizing for killing Juliet and jumping off the Elizabeth to go back to Flocke. Oops?

Oh man I totally forgot about Sayid’s story. Ok, Flocke sent Sayid off to kill Desmond, because…unclear. Sayid gets to the well and Desmond basically talks him out of it by asking Sayid what he is going to tell the woman he loved and lost when she asks what he did to get her back. Is Des the new Jacob? If you let him talk to you is it too late? Blah why is everyone so easily manipulated! Myself included, damn these charismatic characters! Later we see Sayid meeting back up with Flocke, claiming to have killed Des, and Flocke can check it out himself, but I think he really didn’t. But he is still wearing a black shirt, meaning he is bad news, so maybe he did. Ah.

Ok, the Elizabeth team moves into Widmore’s beach and I TOTALLY FORGOT about Sun and Jin being long lost loves until they saw one another. FINALLY. I had a momentary panic thinking they were going to be electrocuted from the pylons, but no. Too bad they were held up at gunpoint quickly after their embrace by stupid Zoe, telling Sawyer the deal is off. I hate her, get a pony tail holder.

“The Last Recruit” ends with Flocke and company getting blown up by Zoe & Co. Flocke saves Jack (why are the recruits important for Flocke?) and tells him not to worry, Jack is with him now. Cue the worrying.

Season 6, Episode 13: The Last Recruit (Originally Aired April 20 , 2010)

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Tuesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC and Mario Perez.