Robin Hood Review: Prince of Fun-Sucking

In the annals of fictional characters there is probably not one who has graced more books, movies, cartoons, and childhood fantasies than the great Robin Hood. His story has become so prevalent in our culture that you’d probably be hard pressed to find a child in the English speaking world who couldn’t tell you that Robin Hood robbed from the rich and gave to the poor, lived in Sherwood Forest, constantly evaded the evil Sheriff of Nottingham, romanced the lovely Maid Marion, and found camaraderie with his loyal band of merry men. The story and characters are in our blood. We’ve seen it countless times before and I will personally take it in again no matter how many iterations of it appear.

But therein lies the problem with the latest incarnation of Robin Hood. It really isn’t Robin Hood at all. It is something else entirely. And while I’m always one to support a new take on a classic story, what director Ridley Scott has delivered to us in Robin Hood is something that isn’t even deserving of that title.

When I first heard that the great Ridley Scott would be bringing a new version of the legend to the silver screen I could only think, “Okay, cool!” The guy has a track record for quality historical epics, good action scenes, and strong production values, so what could go wrong?

I became even more intrigued when I heard that star Russell Crowe would be portraying both Robin Hood and his arch-rival, the Sheriff of Nottingham. It sounded like Scott was genuinely going to bring something interesting to the table but then plans changed. The role of the Sheriff became a bit part and the film’s story skewed more to a prequel by fleshing out how Robin became the legend that he is today.

Prequels and origin stories seem to be all the rage nowadays. It’s worked spectacularly well for Batman but not so well for Star Wars and sadly Robin Hood ends up being closer to the latter.

Instead of seeing Robin Hood lead an armed revolt against the overly taxing King John, this story sees Robin Longstride returning from the Crusades with King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston) as they pillage their way through France to collect as many riches as possible before returning to England from a disastrous war. But when the King is killed in battle, Robin takes it upon himself to return his crown to the new King John as well as the sword of a fallen knight named Sir Robert Loxley.

Robin assumes Loxley’s identity and travels to the man’s homeland of Nottingham where he meets Loxley’s wife Marion (Cate Blanchett) and father, Walter (Max von Sydow). Marion initially doesn’t trust him but Walter immediately welcomes him with open arms to take his son’s place and oversee the land of Nottingham in a time when fear of taxation from the new king reigns over them like a dark cloud.

Traveling with Robin through all of this are a trio of his fellow soldiers from The Crusades who’s names you may recall: Little John, Will Scarlet, and Allan A’Dayle. And don’t forget the boozy Friar Tuck who lords over Nottingham with his sermons and bee-keeping. All four of these characters attempt to give them film a little comic relief with their drinking and attempts to seduce women but still, the proceedings are pretty grim and make you long for the days when Robin Hood was a singing fox.

One of the more enjoyable performances in the film belongs to Oscar Isaac who plays the immature but eager King John. At times he is over the top but in a way that is what this film needs to give it a bit of actual life. Most of the movie’s villainy belongs to a character named Godfrey who is played Mark Strong in what must be his 103rd villain performance this year.

As one of the king’s advisers, Godfrey plays the role of tax collector but also harbors a secret alliance with the King of France and pushes England toward a civil war so that the French can easily conquer England in the aftermath. Naturally, this all occurs as Robin learns that his father was an author of the sort of rough draft Magna Carta, which prompts him to unite the warring factions of England and lead them in an epic battle against the French on the shores of the English channel. SPOILER WARNING (wink): The French are repelled.

The film then wraps up with a very abrupt ending that shows Robin being declared an outlaw and happily retreating to Sherwood Forest with his men, Marion, and some feral children. We are then told with a title card: “And so the legend begins.”

If only that were true. With all of the efforts to make the legend realistic and gritty, the filmmakers sucked away every notion of fun and mystery from it. Neither the character Robin Hood (in any iteration) nor this Robin Longstride existed as a real person so the effort that was made to jam the legend into historical fact does a disservice not just to history, but to the legend itself. Robin Hood is a myth and like all good myths should exist purely on a different plane of existence than history. We don’t need an exact year as a setting or the stake of the whole country on the line. We just need a brave man out in the forest fighting the haves for the rights of the have-nots. We need to see him irritate the hell out of those trying to stop him and see him woo the lovely Marion. We need the romanticism of a time and place that never really existed and the swashbuckling smile of Errol Flynn! Hell, at this point I’d even settle for Kevin Costner.

There are only scant notions to any of those things in Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood and frankly, the film suffers for it. Technically, the picture is superbly made and the performances are fine but what’s missing is life and the joy that this story should never be without. I want to say I respect Scott for trying something new but in this instance it would be a lie. He missed a real opportunity here to create something special that could have been pure cinema magic but instead we got a false history lesson that will be forgotten by June. Luckily, the real legend lives on.

Grade: C

Photo by: David Appleby – © 2010 Universal Studios