My Life on the D-List Review: Kathy Griffin + Toddler Beauty Pageant = Brilliance

I have been to heaven and back and it was in the form of Kathy Griffin at a toddler beauty pageant. Yeah, you read that right. If you missed this week’s episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List someone actually invited Kathy to judge a toddler beauty pageant in Ontario, California, where hilarity ensued and Kathy did her best to bite her tongue at the ridiculousness of it all. Guess what. She failed.

But before we get into all of that, Kathy has made the decision to completely renovate her house after being inspired by her interior design-obsessed friend, Lara Spencer, host of TV’s The Insider. So like any wannabe A-lister, Kathy brings in designer to the stars, Kenny Davis, and orders him to update the house so that it can someday be Dakota Fanning’s first house…when she’s 14.

Kenny easily matches his reputation as an extravagant designer by coming up with a plan for Kathy’s house that, according to Kathy, will be good enough for John Mayer to do a certain something to Taylor Swift on the furniture. The one problem though is that Kathy wants it all done in the span of ten weeks while she housesits at her friend’s house but Kenny’s designs are a little too ambitious for that to be possible. So how does she solve this problem, you ask? She gets some guys to start knocking down walls without a proper design plan in place. This is apparently where her improv skills will come in handy.

But rebuilding the house has to wait because not long after walls start coming down, Kathy and her mom, Maggie, head up to Ontario to judge the beauty pageant at the Ontario Hilton. This location prompts Maggie to ponder “Will Paris be there?”

I firmly believe that Maggie Griffin should be granted sainthood.

Not minutes after arriving at the pageant do the wisecracks start coming along with the disturbing images of extremely young kids looking like freakish whores. I, like most rational thinking human beings, find pageants like this creepy and uncomfortable to even think about so it was reassuring to have Kathy there lampooning the event with her questions and comments to the contestants and their deranged parents. I especially liked Kathy’s response to the mother who states that her daughter will start acting lessons at age one – “You’re going to wait until she’s one?!”

But by far the funniest thing I’ve seen on any show in years was the scene where the pageant goes into its bathing suit competition with each contestant looking like a little mini stripper. Kathy’s facial reactions to the various girls were enough to get me laughing so hard that I must have missed half of them. I actually admire her for holding it together so well when you know she must have been holding back a goldmine of comic gems that we will sadly never get to enjoy.

After judging a number of rounds and feeling jealous that she never got to compete as a toddler, Kathy decides to go get glammed up with some spray tanning, horrid outfits, and advice from a handful of little girls who give tips on makeup, walking, and flirting. Kathy’s apt reaction: “I got some pretty good advice from my bitches. They hooked my ass up!” And they actually kind of did – Kathy looked great in her bathing suit, cheesed it up properly, and had a great bio read by the emcee including the line, “When she grows up, Kathy wants to be just like Paula Abdul!”

Sadly, all good things must come to an end and Kathy and Maggie head back home where the house is in complete disarray due to construction. Maggie mourns the loss of the house bar while Kathy assigns the duties of redesigning the house to her hapless assistants, Tom and Tiffany. This is clearly going to be a season-long storyline and it should be interesting to say the least. But more importantly, next week Kathy travels to Alaska for a date with Levi Johnston. I have a feeling this season will only get better with each episode.

More random hilarious moments from this week:

• Kathy on Kenny Davis’ love of decorating: “Kenny has a hard-on for decorating and wants to F*$% the S#^* out of my house. Let’s get the lube.”
• One pageant contestant gives her age: “I’m 4 right now but I’ll be 5 in a couple years.”
• When receiving training on how to judge the pageant, Kathy is told that she’ll be seeing a lot of hair on the girls to which she replies, “And not necessarily growing out their heads…”
• Kathy likens the baby round of the pageant to “judging a meatloaf with a bandanna on.”
• Kathy and Maggie leave the pageant with a bottle of wine tightly in hand.

Season 6, Episode 2: Toddlers and Remodelers (originally aired on June 22, 2010)

For more on Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, click here.

Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of Bravo and Jaimie Trueblood.

True Blood Review: When Werewolves Attack!

Let’s start with some good news. True Blood has been renewed for a fourth season! Now on to the recap of Season 3, Episode 2!

I don’t know about the rest of you but this week’s True Blood left me bored with the slow progression of all the various character plots. Granted it is only the second episode of the season, my prayers for True Blood’s swift return to glory after season two’s messy ending have gone unanswered. While the episode was not terrible it did leave me impassive.

Let’s see, where shall we start?

Bill

Seems like werewolves are at the bottom of the mythical food chain as Bill manages to kill three of them and bite the ear off a fourth before vampire royalty strolls in on a white horse to save him. All hail the King of Mississippi! Turns out the werewolves were working for the King. When the King learns that the wolves drank Bill’s blood, his Majesty grows angry and shoots the werewolf missing an ear in the head. Bill is then ordered to ride with him back to the Manor.

At the manor we meet Talbot, the King’s friend/lover/husband/vampire friend with benefits? I’m not really sure who he is to be honest. He seems to have this really odd fetish with the bed in the guest room. Talbot must have mentioned the bed at least five times within a three-minute span.

At dinner Talbot serves chilled carbonated blood. Apparently the blood comes voluntarily from a donor that only ate tangerines for a week. Don’t any of these vampires live normal lives? Remember Eddie, Lafayette’s V source in season one? I swear aside from being a vampire he lived the most normal life out of anyone on the show. Anyway I digress.

The King offers to make Bill the sheriff of Area 2 in Mississippi. Bill questions that Louisiana and Mississippi state lines won’t allow it causing the King to reveal his plans to marry the Queen of Louisiana. Ooo Vampire Royalty marrying each other for political gain. Unfortunately for his Majesty, the Queen has denied the proposal, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking it will eventually happen.

The King seems to imply that Bill has other motives, via Queen Sophie-Anne, for returning back to Bon Temps. The King offers to make Bill sheriff in return for the Queen’s secrets. Bill denies all and rejects the offer. The King threatens Sookie’s life causing Bill to bare his fangs. Poor Bill. His emotions for Soooookieeeeee always seem to get the best of him. Luckily, Bill is a grade A actor.  It turns out Bill is hiding an entire dossier of information on Sookie under a fake bottom drawer in his house. This is revealed when a mysterious visitor breaks into Bill’s house looking for information.

Lorena, Bill’s maker, walks into the room immediately turning Bill’s mood sour. I swear her only purpose on the show is to force Bill to do things he doesn’t want to. Bill sure is glad to see her as he hurls a lantern at the woman he loathes, setting her aflame. Burn baby burn! Sadly chances are we will see her again next week as no one ever seems to die on a cliffhanger-esque ending.

Lafayette and Tara

Lafayette, I hate you. Okay I lie. I love you, but did you really have to go and save Tara’s life? No offense to the actress, but Tara’s character needs to 1) Figure out her emotional problems ASAP, 2) Not date any more guys named after food, and/or 3) Die.

Ok I might be a bit harsh. Yeah her character has been through a whole lot, but is there anyone out there that isn’t sick and tired of her constant bickering and moaning. I’m hoping Arlene gets a chance to slap her at least once this season. Anyway, back to the recap.

Lafayette breaks down the bathroom door and saves Tara’s life. GOD DAMNIT! He grabs Tara and carries her to the car to take her to the hospital. Tara’s mom tries to help out, but Lafayette tells her off. You go Lafayette! I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that Lafayette and Tara’s mom are going to be at each other’s throats all season.

On the ride to the hospital Tara convinces Lafayette she’s okay since she threw up all the pills. Lafayette decides to bring her to a nursing home. At the “nut house” as Tara calls it, Lafayette reveals his mother has been admitted there for the last six months. Showing her what could possibly become of her, Tara takes in what she has seen of her aunt and leaves with Lafayette back to Merlotte’s. Lafayette also mentions that there is a ”darkness” within their family. The line seemed very foreboding.

At the diner Tara meets a Vampire who happens to be wearing the same shoes as the person who discovered the hidden Sookie dossier in Bill’s house. Out in the parking lot Tara starts a fight with two drunks who are defiling the spot Eggs was killed at. The new vamp arrives and helps out Tara as she pummels one of the guys for an apology.

I like this new vampire, whoever he is. I see potential in him. He could possibly kill Tara. Okay okay. How about turn her into a vampire? Imagine Tara as a vampire! Emotional RAGE! Talk about destructive force of nature.

Arlene and Terry

Arlene is suffering morning sickness due to her pregnancy causing her to throw up all the time. Terry still hasn’t caught on that he knocked her up. Silly Terry! You definitely aren’t the smartest one on the show. I’m still juggling who’s slower, Jason or Terry.

At the request of Sookie telling him to man up, Terry creates a hilarious list of reasons why Arlene can trust him with her kids. My favorite – I have a diploma….in anger management.

Sam

Sam wakes up to a shotgun in his face as his younger brother Tommy herds him inside his parents’ house. After meeting his parents for the first time Tommy and Sam go out back where a competition of who has the shittier life takes place. The two decide to take a fun run as dogs through the woods. Tommy stops in front of a truck, turns into a bird, and flies away all in the process of nearly getting Sam killed. Jealous little brother much? Pretty uneventful for Sam’s story this week.

Jessica

The lone vampire is still dealing with the dead body in her bedroom. After a trip to Fangtasia with Sookie, Jessica asks Pam what she would do with a dead body. Looks like lil old Jessica is gonna get her hands on a chainsaw. Pam also teaches young Jessica a nifty trick of when to stop sucking on a human for blood to avoid killing them because, you know, a dead body is no fun.

She also rejects Hoyt who brings her a case of Tru Blood. Come on Jessica! He even remembered you like it B-positive. Give the big ol’ teddy bear a chance!

Jason and Andy

For two characters that hated each other they really are awesome together. Andy is being recognized at a press conference for killing the town murderer when Jason arrives to ask him if he could help find Bill. The two go to the diner to talk. After leaving the diner a call comes in for a raid on a meth lab. Andy runs into the house. Jason waits patiently in the car until he sees a blonde girl standing in the forest up ahead. Jason runs after the girl, but stops after she runs off into the woods. Turning around Jason sees a meth junkie running away from the house. Jason tackles and subdues him as the police arrive behind him.

True Blood has delivered the Jason and Andy buddy cop portion of the show that I always wanted! THANK YOU!

Eric and Godric

Hooray Godric is back! Sadly my favorite vampire’s return in this episode is via flashback to World War II where Godric and Eric pass off as SS officers. Eric and Godric appear in a cabin after a naked woman turns into a werewolf and kills a soldier. Eric stabs her in the arm, pinning her to the wall. Eric asks who her master is. The woman asks for his blood in exchange for the information. After feeding she reveals that her master is one of them. I’m taking that to be a vampire. I wonder if she means the King of Mississippi since he seems to have a legion of werewolves of his own in modern times. After the naked woman has her fill of vampire blood she attacks Eric, but Godric comes to his rescue by snapping her neck. Godric turns to Eric and says, “A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions. He dominates them.”

Soooookieeeeee

Sookie visits Eric at Fangtasia to inquire about any information concerning Operation Werewolf. Eric denies any knowledge of such information. LIAR! Sookie tries to guilt Eric into helping her find Bill by mentioning her involvement in rescuing Godric. This strikes a cord with Eric, who denies her any help. Eric tells her to be quiet about the werewolves. Last thing she should do is tell everyone about them.

The next day Sookie heads to work and finds a man standing in the woods staring at her. Sookie runs off into the woods looking for him (because that’s the smart thing to do) as Terry follows. They find footprints of the man that turn into wolf prints. Sookie mentions werewolves to Terry…. Does this woman ever listen to anything she’s warned against doing? Inside Merlotte’s Terry gives her a gun to protect herself in case any danger arises.

At home that night Sookie is visited by Eric who requests permission to enter like a gentleman. “You’re going to invite me in so I can protect you or have passionate, primal sex with you.” I swear I heard members of Team Eric and Sookie scream around the world at the deliverance of that line.

Eric’s werewolf senses tingle and he asks to be allowed in again. He bursts inside and leaps at the werewolf. Sookie fires the gun in her hands, bringing the episode to a close.

Questions

What does the King want with Bill? Why does Bill have a detailed dossier of Sookie hidden away in his house? Does Bill even love Sookie or is it part of a job? Will Lafayette continue to be awesome? Will Tara finally get over herself? Can Sam fit in with his family after being away for 34 years and what should we expect from them? Will Jessica dispose of the body? (I still think its going to turn into a vampire.) Whose the girl Jason saw in the woods? Whose this new mysterious vampire that breaks into Bill’s house and now helping Tara? What did Eric and Godric learn about Operation Werewolf during World War II? Whose the werewolf tracking Sookie and what does he want?

That’s a whole lot of questions. I think that’s why True Blood is able to bring viewers back every week. The amount of questions it delivers is insane and unlike Lost, mostly all of them are answered. It was a slow episode branching out character’s plots. It’ll be interesting to see how all this comes together and wraps up. Slow episode, slightly boring, but interested enough to see where it goes.

Best part of the episode – Sookie imitating Bill saying Sooookieeeee.

For another opinion on this episode, check out Something To Sink Your Teeth Into by Erin Biglow.

Season 3, Episode 2: Beautifully Broken (originally aired June 20, 2010)

For more on True Blood, click here.

Sundays at 9pm on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO and IMDbPro

True Blood Review: Something To Sink Your Teeth Into

The third season of True Blood is officially off to a rollicking start as the frantic pace of last week’s premiere showed no signs of slowing down. In fact, Sunday night’s sophomore installment kept the brisk bedlam so remarkably intact, it seems things may even be speeding up towards further frenzy. Episode two proved to be another jam-packed, frenetic freak show of cheeky hilarity and grisly discord. Bursting at the seams with the show’s signature technique of implementing endless exposition, the methodical madness clearly seems designed to set up what looks to be a potentially groundbreaking season.

To wit, Alan Ball and his writing team seem hell-bent on introducing as many new characters and plot developments as possible, taking the show to creatively dizzying heights. One hour almost doesn’t seem to be enough time to properly exhibit the amount of pure showmanship True Blood manages to divulge in each episode. The harried structure of every scene transition has given me, as a loyal viewer, the constant feeling of trying to catch up with each storyline as they whoosh by with the focused speed of a Bon Temps vampire – leaving only a faint, blurred streak of evidence they ever existed, but also an undeniable, robust curiosity as to what just happened, and what could possibly be coming next.

Sunday night’s festivities begin with a rejuvenated Bill wreaking single-handed havoc on the team of strung out werewolves who had abducted him hours earlier. Bill’s quest for both vengeance and a justifiable display of unadulterated machismo come to a head as he uses his fangs to rip off the ear of one of his lycan abductors. The victim, along with most of his cronies, is back to human form, naked and writhing on the ground in agony.

“You’re next,” growls Bill to the remaining lone wolf of the bunch, the wild-eyed, assumed leader of the pack. Before further species-transcending testosterone can be demonstrated between Bill and his hairy, teeth-baring opponent, a regal-looking fellow trots into frame atop a majestic white horse and interrupts the carnage.

“Your majesty,” Bill exclaims with surprise, letting the audience know the impromptu visitor is undoubtedly an important figure we’ll need to remember. The mystery dignitary surveys the scene and chides the chief wolfman for letting the situation devolve to such extremes.

“I said escort him, not hunt him like an animal,” the visitor clucks with disapproval. Bill’s subsequent facial expression, as does mine, illustrates an understandable “?!?” upon this revelation. We learn the party crasher is none other than Russell Edgington, Vampire King of Mississippi (Denis O’Hare), and he’s pretty desperate for a chat with Bill. So desperate, in fact, he had enlisted the help of the maniacal werewolves to bring Bill over to his palace for an explanatory dinner. Realizing this strategy hadn’t exactly worked out according to plan, the King curtly scolds Bill’s nemesis, apparently named Cooter (yes, really), for both crudely feeding off of Bill and resorting to such carelessly violent tactics without managing to complete the assignment. Both King Russell and Cooter (yup, still funny) are surely going to be seen on a regular basis, thus bringing this episode’s New Important Character count to a total of two so far – and we haven’t even reached the opening credits yet. I can already tell I’m lagging behind! Let’s get down to business.

Back in Bon Temps, Lafayette proves himself Best Cousin Ever as he forces his fingers down a grief-stricken Tara’s throat, attempting to rid her of the couple dozen or so pills she impulsively swallowed. Tara’s well-meaning but criminally ignorant mother warns her she could “go to hell for this,” causing an increasingly exasperated Lafayette to inform Mom she’s lucky Tara hadn’t offed herself earlier, considering the exemplary parenting skills she was raised with (zing!), and whisks Tara off to the ER.

Still frantically searching for the missing Bill, Sookie has again sought the advice of Eric upon her discovery that werewolves are responsible for the abduction. When she inquires about the puzzling symbol branded on one of the kidnappers’ necks and its Nazi connotations, Eric says he’s never seen it before and warns Sookie about the dangers of the crew she’s investigating. “They’re territorial, vicious, pathologically secretive,” he declares, causing Sookie to rightfully point out the existence of the same characteristics in certain other creatures of the night. Sensing tension in the room, an intuitive Pam (a delightfully deadpan Kristin Bauer) asks Jessica to follow her to the ladies’ room so they can “stare at [themselves] in the mirror.”

Jessica uses this as an opportunity to ask for Pam’s advice about the trucker she accidentally killed and the subsequent pesky corpse rapidly decaying on her property. When Pam tells Jessica she can listen to a human’s slowing heartbeat as a feeding gauge, Jessica admits she doesn’t think she’s able to stop– even if she knows her victim is dying. “I think about crying children with soggy diapers,” offers Pam. “Also, maggots.” Well. That oughta do it.

As for Sookie, her level of anxiety over Bill’s abduction and the revelation about werewolves’ involvement bring her to tears in front of an uncomfortable Eric. “Please don’t do that,” he implores. “It makes me feel disturbingly human.” Hee. This statement cues one of two incredibly revealing flashbacks, the first of which shows Eric and Godric, his ill-fated maker, as S.S. militia in wartime Nazi Germany. Whoa. The two encounter a female werewolf, who has just fatally mauled an American soldier, and confront her. Even though she insists they’re “on the same side,” Eric spies the same puzzling symbol on her neck that Sookie had asked about, and declares, “No, we’re not.” Clearly, this symbol signifies a particular strain of werewolf set apart from their assumedly less-threatening counterparts, and Eric doesn’t want Sookie to know the gory details about their existence and his obviously thorough knowledge concerning, well, all of it.

Once again, Sam Merlotte and his quest for identity nearly became an afterthought until he pops up on screen just in time to let us know he’s still on the search for his birth parents. Last week, after discovering Tommy (Prison Break’s Marshall Allman), a younger brother he never knew he had, Sam had followed him home in the hopes of discovering where his shape-shifting ability may derive from. Instead of knocking on the door, however, he slept outside in his truck and was abruptly awakened by a furious Tommy, demanding to know what he’s up to. Finally, Sam gets his chance to go inside and confront his real parents for the first time, who have kept fellow shifter Tommy in the dark about his existence. Turns out, Dad is a regular joe but knows what’s going on, Mom can shape-shift, and they both look like they belong in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Or Deliverance. You get the idea. Tommy is immediately resentful of Sam’s thunder-stealing visit and faux-charms him into going for a cathartic run as their canine alter egos. The joyous romp ends with Tommy’s blatant attempt to get Sam run over by a truck. Basically, Tommy’s a brat with a serious case of Only Child Syndrome.

Moving right along, Merlotte’s clueless sous chef, Terry Bellefleur, helps Sookie track down a werewolf attempting to harass her outside the restaurant. Genuinely spooked, Terry gives Sookie a gun for protection, sweetly saying, “I’d miss you if you got killed.” Poor Terry will probably be the last to find out Arlene is carrying his baby, but his prospects as a future father look endearingly bright as he tells Arlene she should trust him with her tweenage kids because he has “a diploma from anger management” and once nurtured a baby armadillo back to life. Despite these adorable anecdotes, Arlene still can’t fess up.

Meanwhile, the ever-fantastic Lafayette bypasses the hospital and instead opts to take Tara on an educational visit to see his mother – a spiteful, bigoted loony bin resident played by the magnificent Alfre Woodard. Aside from the brilliant casting, this scene provides some serious character development as the audience begins to learn more about the Thornton/Reynolds history of mental instability. Lafayette’s intentions are to show Tara that they need to stick together and keep their lives in order if they want any hope of avoiding the pattern of psychological turmoil in their family. Tara gets his point, and is also humbled when Lafayette reveals he deals drugs to pay for his mother’s stay in the clinic. This is the first scene in the episode that takes its time to really begin giving true depth to a character who could have turned out as one-note comic relief. Lafayette (along with Nelsan Ellis’ riveting portrayal) is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters and I find his developing storyline one of the more emotionally resonant aspects of the entire show.

Making sure not to completely abandon the campy froth that also makes True Blood such a guilty pleasure, we’re next given an update on Bill and his forced visit to King Russell’s brazenly ornate palace. Attempting to woo him with a hilariously decadent, multi-course blood “dinner” consisting of such delicacies as blood bisque infused with rose petals and blood sorbet for dessert, Russell reveals his master plan. He tells Bill he wants him to become Vampire Sheriff of Louisiana, and asks him to help arrange an impending marriage to Queen Sophie-Anne. Taken aback, Bill tells Russell he’s “got the wrong vampire,” and that living a less-publicized life in Bon Temps is how he imagined spending the rest of eternity. Russell, however, is intent on marrying Sophie-Anne to expand his reign and wants Bill to be a right hand man of sorts to help him reach his goal. When Bill tells Russell he can’t accept his offer to become sheriff or help him convince Sophie-Anne to agree to the marriage, Russell begins to show his true colors and threatens Sookie’s well being if Bill doesn’t comply.

Elsewhere, Jason and Andy continue solidifying their unexpected friendship as Jason still battles ongoing guilt over the murder of Eggs, and Andy gives him a series of pep talks. One in particular consists of telling Jason he needs to “apply himself” in life because he’s “prettier than most girls” and has too much potential to throw everything away by turning himself in. I’ll agree Jason does make for rather shameless eye candy, but as far as “potential,” he’ll only get by on his looks for so long. Jason still has trouble coping and ends up getting so drunk Andy won’t let him drive home and has him tag along to a meth lab bust outside of town. Jason doesn’t stay in the car where he belongs, of course, and ends up following the mysterious Crystal (Lindsay Pulsipher, apparently promoted to series regular) into the woods and nabs himself a tweaker to boot.

After a mysterious glimpse of an unknown trespasser sifting through Bill’s desk (finding an interesting case file on Sookie and the Stackhouse family tree – hmm), Jessica’s dilemma with the trucker reaches an all-time high as she comes home with the chainsaw she just rented (with cash from the trucker’s wallet, yeesh) to dismember him and discovers that the body is gone. Uh oh. Whether or not we’ll find out the identity of the snooper in the next episode or the season finale, I definitely think the same person who looked through Bill’s stash also rid Jessica and the house of her victim’s body.

Eric, defying his usual arrogance, next confronts Sookie to confess he had lied to her about his knowledge of the werewolf symbol and his connection to its roots (he even admits he “owes” Sookie the truth considering her past assistance to him). Cue Nazi flashback number two, which leaves off with Eric and Godric in Germany during WWII in conflict with the lady werewolf they just encountered. After spying the symbol in question branded on her neck, Eric lets her feed off of him in exchange for the identity of her master. Godric isn’t having any of this, however, and kills her before she can respond, citing an adherence to vampire integrity as his priority over pertinent information. “A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions. He dominates them,” he declares to a sheepish Eric. To sum it up for Sookie (and us), Eric simply says, “These are not ordinary werewolves.” No kidding.

Tara has gone back to work at Merlotte’s in a limp attempt to maintain some sense of normality, but tells her only customer she’s not particularly invested in serving anyone this evening. The customer is a visiting vampire named Franklin Mott (The Tudors’ James Frain) and judging from the lingered camera shot on his familiar-looking cowboy boots, I’m guessing he’s the Compton house intruder from earlier. Despite Tara’s initial disinterest, the two have a pretty intense moment minutes later as they tag team a couple of rednecks giving Tara a hard time about the murder of Eggs.

Finally, back on Sookie’s porch, Eric is trying to convince Sookie to invite him in so they can either talk about the Nazi werewolf situation or “have passionate, primal sex” – the man gets straight to the point, I must say. The unglamourable Sookie finally agrees when she and Eric hear a suspicious noise coming from inside the house and Eric demands to be let in to investigate. Upon entering the house, both his fangs and ferocity immediately emerge as a bloodthirsty werewolf is discovered roaming the living room. Just as the intruder is prime to pounce on Eric, Sookie fires Terry’s gun in its general direction – see, Arlene, he is a thoughtful protector! Cut to black.

While this episode primarily served as a shameless set-up to introduce the community of new characters entering Bon Temps, I remain relatively unfazed by the whirlwind structure of the show and its harried attempt to squeeze in as much story as possible. Perhaps once introductions have settled and the viewers are more comfortable with the new characters and plot lines, the overall demeanor will quiet down and there will be a bit more breathing room to focus on the primary situations. Personally, I enjoy the comic relief provided by Jessica’s constant learning curve and Jason’s continuous, dopey haplessness (his inquiry into the existence of Santa upon learning that werewolves have arrived was a high point, humor wise), but I’m ready to sink my teeth into the real problems at hand.

For another opinion on this episode, check out When Werewolves Attack! by Bilal Mian.

Season 3, Episode 2: Beautifully Broken (originally aired June 20, 2010)

For more on True Blood, click here.

Sundays at 9pm on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO and IMDbPro

TUESDAY, 22nd (Week of June 20 – 26)

WIPEOUT: Oh, happy days! Wipeout is back! I guess it’s going to have to be good enough since ABC canceled “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” (8pm/ABC)

WEDNESDAY, 23rd

AMERICA’S GOT TALENT: I’ve actually found myself genuinely interested in the show this season. Could it be the lack of Hasselhoff? (9pm/NBC)

THURSDAY, 24th

BOSTON MED: Grey’s Anatomy has got nothing on these real life doctors! Sorry, McDreamy. (10pm/ABC)

FRIDAY, 25th

THE JACKSONS: AN AMERICAN DREAM: It’s already been one year since the death of our beloved King of Pop, and there seems to be no end with people milking his death for all its worth. Not cool. (11 a.m./VH1 Classics)

SATURDAY, 26th

SUPERBAD: This is going to play like a silent film if FX ends up bleeping out all the f-bombs (8pm/FX)

OPENING THIS WEEK: KNIGHT AND DAY

Are you ready to take Tom Cruise seriously again in an action flick? Or any film for that matter? In theaters nationwide June 25th.

OPENING THIS WEEK: GROWN UPS

We really don’t need an entire film to tell us Adam Sandler and his buddies are a bunch of immature grown-ups. But if this kind of comedy is your cup of tea, catch it in theaters nationwide beginning June 25th.

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