Glee’s Greatest Hits

Don’t lie. You know you’re going through some Glee withdrawal. Sure, there’s frolicking in the sun with an optional beach or pool thrown in there, but even that can’t take all the edge off. So to ease you in to the next few months without harsh, Sue one-liners, tuneful covers, angst-filled hallways and high school shenanigans, here are, in my opinion, some of the best Glee performances from its debut season.

15. Halo/Walkin’ On Sunshine
Episode: Vitamin D
Sung By: New Directions ladies
Original: Beyonce / Katrina and the Waves
It’s a tough choice between #15 and “It’s My Life”/”Confessions”,  Glee’s two inaugural mash-ups. The boys were pitted against the girls and then practically spoon fed uppers, which provided an energy level in the performances only matched by those Vocal Adrenaline automatons. And while I loved Artie’s smooth vocals during the boys’ turn, I could have left Finn’s overly spastic dance moves. On the other hand, the girls mixed sweet vocals with sass while combining two completely different styles and sounds seamlessly.

14. Bad Romance
Episode: Theatricality
Sung By: New Directions ladies and Kurt (Chris Colfer)
Original: Lady Gaga
Really, those outfits say it all! Rachel’s imitation of Gaga’s Kermit the Frog outfit as a collection of beanie babies. I can just imagine Rachel, at the age of 7, totally obsessive and engrossed in that fad. So many of the others had near-perfect recreations in an eye-popping ode to the trend breaker, and the cover was so true to Gaga‘s eccentric style and dark, kooky vibe.

13. Defying Gravity
Episode: Wheels
Sung By: Rachel (Lea Michele) and Kurt
Original: Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth in Wicked
Lea Michele can sing any cast member under the table. Well, almost always. I believe Kevin McHale and, especially, Amber Riley, can give her a run for her money. But Kurt stole the show by truly connecting his feeling of alienation and rising above though the lyrics. (Even if he purposely botched that last note.)

12. Poker Face
Episode: Theatricality
Sung By: Rachel and Shelby (Idina Menzel)
Original: Lady Gaga
I think dysfunctional relationship more than mother-daughter when I hear this #1 electropop single, but somehow Glee turned a mysterious dance track into an intimate, bonding moment. Sure, it was a little odd to hear Menzel utter the words “I’m just bluffin’ with my muffin’”, but otherwise, I could listen to these two go back and forth all day.

11. Run Joey Run
Episode: Bad Reputation
Sung By: Rachel, Puck (Mark Salling), Finn (Cory Monteith) and Jesse (Jonathan Groff)
Original: David Geddes
It’s those beautifully rare moments where Glee is allowed to be completely fantastical while having to be strapped into reality. (Oh, who are we kidding! That’s Glee’s motto.) But more specifically, there are either real performances or “inside your brain” fantasy numbers. So this “music video” revitalization of “Run Joey Run” was completely hysterical because it was so choppy and amateur. Something a real high schooler could have definitely created. Throw in appearances by Santana and Brittany as angels and Sandy as the “Daddy” with a gun (that shoots out the ‘bang’ flag when fired…classic!), and there’s the cherry on this delicious sundae.

10. Don’t Stop Believing (#2)
Episode: Journey
Sung By: New Directions
Original: Journey
Ryan Murphy was smart to go back to the song that started it all for New Directions’ final sectionals number, and with more members than before, new solos and, oh, that key change, there’s no question it deserves a Top 10 spot. But let’s be honest, whenever you hear something on Glee for the second time you can’t help but think what they could have done with something new.

9. The Safety Dance
Episode: Dream On
Sung By: Artie (Kevin McHale)
Original: Men Without Hats
Rarely does one of the more minor characters get such an elaborate number, and though Artie’s solitary, emotional turn in “Dancing with Myself” may have transformed him from Wheels to someone I actually care about, this routine really put that emotion into perspective. To see Artie get down (and he can get doooooown), and then be right back in that chair at the end of his daydream, pulled my heartstrings in a completely different way.

8. Keep Holding On
Episode: Throwdown
Sung By: New Directions
Original: Avril Lavigne
Pregnancy drama certainly ran amok this season, but when Quinn was outed by Sue in front of all the school to see, her old friends and new glee kin rallied around her. It was an early tearjerker, especially watching Quinn break down onstage. And no matter how much you wanted Rachel and Finn to be together, you had to love him even more for his devotion to the girl he thought was having his baby.

7. Bust Your Windows
Episode: Acafellas
Sung By: Mercedes (Amber Riley)
Original: Jazmine Sullivan
First, how cute of Mercedes to fall for a gay man, destroy his windshield and end up getting his car privileges revoked. Second, I always knew Mercedes could sing, but the girl can dance with best of the Cheerios. Third, this cover could be on the radio, and I would have no idea it wasn’t an original. That is how well Amber pulled this early solo off.

6. Rose’s Turn
Episode: Laryngitis
Sung By: Kurt
Original: Ethel Merman in Gypsy
Kurt, to me, has become the heart of the show. He can be bitingly funny but wear his heart on his sleeve, and more than anyone this season, he’s grown and matured and started to find himself. So when he vented about Finn and his father’s recent closeness through song, it was the perfect venue to showcase his frustrations. Plus, Chris Colfer was told he couldn’t sing this exact song in school because it was a female song. In your face, individuality suppressors!

5. Like A Virgin
Episode: The Power of Madonna
Sung By: Emma (Jayma Mays), Will (Matthew Morrison), Santana (Naya Rivera), Finn, Jesse and Rachel
Original: Madonna
This song was the one that made me realize Glee could be about more than just a select few vocalists. Everyone so seamlessly blended while getting their own moments.  Santana got to really shine for the first time, and we heard more from Emma. Then, there was the synchronized choreography which was…well…very un-virginal but, oh so, sexy. Ryan Murphy and team did this Madonna number justice.

4. Regionals Mash up (Faithfully & Any Way You Want It/Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’)
Episode: Journey
Sung By: New Directions
Original: Journey
Did anyone else catch that “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’” made an appearance earlier in the season when we met Darren, Finn’s mom’s boyfriend who also inspired Finn to sing? Loved the subtle flashback. I loved that we got three songs with barely room to breathe, and it turned out to be a back-to-back musical orgasm. Sectionals gave us the best of Rachel/Finn duets and the best of mash-ups.

3. Don’t Rain On My Parade
Episode: Sectionals
Sung By: Rachel
Original: Barbara Streisand in Funny Girl
If you doubted that Lea Michele or Rachel Berry were born to be stars, than I double-dare you to say that after watching this dramatic number. With each audible inhale, it was obvious Rachel was singing for her life and for New Directions’ opportunity to compete another day. Lea, on the other hand, doesn’t have to worry about where she’ll be for the next two years at least.

2. Don’t Stop Believing (#1)
Episode: Pilot
Sung By: New Directions
Original: Journey
I, honestly, still doubt my choice to place this song at number two, but I think, if it hadn’t been first it wouldn’t stand up to the following song. But that aside, all you have to do is listen to the lyrics to understand how this ’80s song became all that symbolized the fledgling, but talented, club.

1. Somebody to Love
Episode: The Rhodes Not Taken
Sung By: New Directions
Original: Queen
It’s not easy to do Queen. Hey, it took Jesse St. James and all those dancing Vocal Adrenaline banshees to pull of “Bohemian Rhapsody,” yet somehow Finn and Rachel, with the help of all the other glee members and a star note from Mercedes at the end, make this not the best choreographed or best autotuned, but the most memorable.

I also set out to find the five worst Glee numbers, and though there are a few I didn’t care to download or didn’t fully appreciate their execution, it’s hard for me to truly discount them. “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World” was a little odd with all pregnant dancers who moved way too nimbly. It was hard to suspend disbelief and really enjoy it, but just getting to hear Quinn introduce the group as The Unwed Mothership Connection made up for it a bit. Then, Will has done some dubious rapping, but it’s his “Thong Song” to Emma—a lady who is about to get married—that really creeped me out. “You Can’t Touch This,” performed by some of the “less sinful” glee members to raise that profile, felt like a wasted opportunity for some of the lesser seen members to get into some good ole’ high school tomfoolery. No kid, no matter how uncool, would think that the most rebellious thing they could do would be to sing in a library. And “Hair/Crazy In Love” will go down as the worst Glee mash-up ever. We know there are at least two more seasons to dispel that fact, but let’s hope they never retry that odd recipe.

Still, there are so many songs that were wonderfully done. When it comes to choreography, I was awed by the total Wheelchair dedication of “Proud Mary,” the fantasy of bed hopping (the schoolgirl in me) in “Jump,” Michele and Groff flexing their classical training in “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and the emotional dance trip down memory lane with “My Life Would Suck Without You.” And guest stars have put in some of the best numbers with Neil Patrick Harris and “Dream On,” Idina Menzel with “I Dreamed A Dream,” and Kristin Chenoweth’s “Alone.” Groff excited me in almost everything he sung. (Let’s just put Olivia Newton John’s “Physical” or the overuse of Chenoweth with “Home” in a corner somewhere.)

Yet overall, the highlights massively outweigh some of the sub-par performances. (You see, I still can’t call them horrible.) And there’s usually something artistic to appreciate, whether it’s the vocals, the choreography, the musicianship or the direction. But what I appreciate most is that Glee isn’t just a story about inspiring kids, but also a show that inspires me. Next season (and another slew of albums) couldn’t come fast enough.

For more on Glee, click here.

Thursdays at 9/8c pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro