Get Low Review: Oscar Contenders Make the Magic

Folks: this isn’t just makeup.

Some of Hollywood’s stalwarts are fast approaching the prime of life…Man.

Get Low is the directorial debut of contemporary “Mad Men,” Aaron Schneider.

Schneider hits the filmic pavement hard with a shortlist of some all-time Oscar-worthy heavyweights that may, honestly, leave viewers longing for whatever Golden Age there is to speak of this side of 1970. The nostalgia brims at the sight of a very aged Robert Duvall, who plays lead character, Felix “Bush” with no less grand austerity and composure than in his “Godfather” heyday.

The real life “Bush” is responsible for the 1930s kick-the-bucket legend set in rural Tennessee. According to the tall tale, “Bush” emerged from his self-appointed solitary confinement after 40-plus years to throw himself a funeral party. What begins as a strange request from an unknown (therefore frightening) enigma becomes the event of the century.

The nostalgia nearly runs over when Bill Murray appears, exquisitely pictured by Schneider’s DP, and gracefully aged: the latter point proving the soberest moment of all. Wasn’t yesterday just “Groundhog Day”? Murray plays Frank Quinn, funeral home director whose dead business ain’t booming. “Everybody loves to die in Chicago.”

Lucas Black plays the very reluctant and noble-hearted Buddy Robinson—partner to Quinn and the conscience of the Quinn Funeral Home. When “Bush” brings a wad of balled up money to the town minister as a down payment for his funeral request, Robinson happens to overhear the rejection…and witness the legend in action: Duvall’s character pummels a heckler…with his mule.

After a sales pep talk from Quinn and the spotless execution from the well-seasoned Murray—Robinson goes cavorting to Bush’s front door, just barely missing the bullet that flies through the front window. (Yeah. Bush is something like an old-fashioned Madea if Madea were an ornery old man minus the punch lines, the dress…the melanin…I guess…)

But the tenderhearted Buddy convinces Bush to buy his funeral fiesta from the Quinn service—a moral dilemma choice Quinn has no problems overseeing for the sake of dollar signs.

Sissy Spacek arrives on the scene as former flame—and oh-what-a-flame—Mattie Darrow. The hottentot elder who has moved back to the Tennessee town is newly widowed, and searching for answers that may or may not lie in the relationship she and the ballyhooed Bush once had.

*Spoiler Alert!* The truth that has everyone vested in their own rumor mills is buried in the opening scene. The people closest to Bush–the only “funeral guests” who haven’t supported the gimmicky $5 raffle for his land–come to find out that his chosen seclusion is all the result of deeply-ridden shame. Bush had an affair with Mattie’s sister while the two were an item–and while the sister was married. On the night they planned to run away together, Mattie’s brother-in-law put up an awesome fight leaving the house in flames, and leaving no one but Felix to tell the tale.

Not surprisingly, Get Low wins at every well-acted turn. Schneider can’t lose with this quality cast, and, oh, by the way: cinematographers, stand up.

While the setting may seem to lend itself to the muted color scheme of the countryside, prepare to be astounded by just how beautifully photographed this movie is. If you’re anything like me, you’ll pride yourself in watching a not-your-average Hollywood picture, and you’ll, likely, brush your shoulder off one’mo’gain for collecting yet another ticket stub from your local indie theater. But let’s be serious. There is something missing here.

Like how Bill Cobbs, who plays Rev. Charlie Jackson–Bush’s only willing eulogizer–manages to sneak into the BACKWOODS of RURAL TENNESSEE in the 1930s (read: that is, the FORMER PART OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY) without an explanation. (In case you’re lost, the better portion of the 20th century did NOT, repeat, DID NOT, fold out so gently for Black people. Please refer to Jimmy Crow.)

There’s also the matter of how and why this love affair constituted a good enough reason to become the kind of hermit that draws folks like a haunted house tour. Bush is a complex figure, but we don’t get a real chance to understand him as his critics do.

Nevertheless, Schneider’s flick is worth your watch. These O.G. actors may remind you of pending supernovas, but Aaron Schneider is a rookie well on his way toward the same beautiful destiny.

Mad Men Review: Things You Can Accomplish While Drunk (or Nude)

It is poetically fitting that on the same night Mad Men won its third consecutive Emmy for Best Drama, Don Draper took home a Clio Award for an ad produced by the firm. The series and its creators certainly deserve the accolade, but does Don? Sure, he probably pitched the idea and massaged the client through the creation process but we learn that Peggy was actually the brains behind the campaign. And what thanks and applause does she get? A crappy assignment with a new art director who happens to be a lazy asshole. This girl just can’t catch a break.

The art director in question (named Stan) is by and large a pure misogynist who’s biggest claim to fame is an election ad for Lyndon Johnson that never aired. He works at a snail’s pace and talks down to Peggy like he owns the place. And while you would think she could get a little support from Don on this one, he is unsympathetic to her plight and chalks it up to her lack of management skills. Don then drunkenly (more on that later) forces them to lock themselves in a hotel room until they can complete the assignment. It is in this hotel room where Stan happily lounges on the bed reading Playboy and claims to be a nudist.

And this is where for the second week in a row Peggy became my hero. She boldly calls him out on his nudist claim and strips down to nothing to do their work in. He sheepishly follows suit and Peggy mocks his erection until he finally submits and gets the assignment done. In my opinion, Peggy is the definition of cool beans and I really hope she can start getting a little respect like Rodney Dangerfield.

In addition to getting stuck with a lousy work partner, my hero was also denied the pleasure of attending the Clio Awards ceremony, which Don, Roger, Pete, and Joan attend to both claim victory and seek out new clients. Pete and Joan manage to stay sober enough to run into and talk to old coworker Ken Cosgrove whose friend spills the beans and makes a comment about the “old gang getting back together.” Pete is immediately suspicious of a merger but has to wait to talk to anyone about it because Don and Roger are already properly shit-faced.

After winning the award (where Don acts like a little boy on Christmas morning) the four are called back to the office for a meeting with Life Cereal that had earlier been postponed. Keep in mind the fact that they’ve been drinking all day long when you imagine how this meeting goes down. It starts with a “victory lap” around the table followed by a wonderfully slurred project pitch speech from Don. I’ve honestly heard better public speaking from crazy homeless men but the guys from Life Cereal eat it up (they are also drunk) except for the slogan. But rather than schedule a later meeting to pitch new slogans – Don starts riffing on the spot and pulls “The Cure for the Common Breakfast” out of his ass and the client loves it!

But there is one problem. Don didn’t really pull it out of his ass. He actually stole it from a young guy (Michael Yurchak) that he and Peggy interviewed earlier in the day who used the same slogan on every type of product in his portfolio. At the time they mocked the kid but here now was drunken Don using the idea much to the approval of the client. Peggy is furious about the whole thing but Don is oblivious and heads out to the bars for more celebrating where he picks up a chick for his Friday night and wakes up on Sunday morning with someone else and no recollection of Saturday. For the 111th time this season Don has hit rock bottom and even he seems a little disturbed by it. I take this as a slightly good sign but Peggy still has to show up at his doorstep and remind him that he stole his new Life Cereal slogan from the inept interviewee who Don then feels forced to hire.

What makes this all the more potent is the fact that throughout this episode we were treated to flashback scenes of Don meeting Roger for the first time when Don was hustling fur coats to the rich and trying to make the jump into advertising. We see Don throw his portfolio in with a nice mink stole that Roger gives to Joan but Roger has no interest in the coat salesman whatsoever. After some persistence from Don they meet over drinks (in the morning) where Roger gets wasted and mistakenly tells Don, “Welcome aboard,” so Don shows up at the office the next day to start his career as an ad man. Funny how things work out like that.

Is all of this a sign that Don is on his way to becoming just like Roger – a bitter alcoholic who spends his time recording memories for his memoirs rather than doing any real work? It’s hard to argue with that assessment but I think we all hope that that’s not the case. Don’t get me wrong – I adore Roger Sterling but losing Don to frivolous antics would be a crime against ad reading humanity.

One last nugget of information that this episode gave to us is the impending return of Ken Cosgrove! After running into him at the ceremony and suspecting a merger, Pete confronted Lane about it and learned that they’re actually hiring Ken instead. Long-time viewers of the show will remember the bitter (mostly just from Pete) rivalry between Pete and Ken over the years so it’ll be nice to have the evil, paranoid version of Pete back. Let the games begin.

For more on Mad Men, click here.  Follow Poptimal on Twitter here.  Friend us on Facebook here. 

Season 4, Episode 6: Waldorf Stories (originally aired August 29, 2010)

Sundays at 10PM/9C, AMC

Photographs courtesy of AMC and imdbpro.

Pre-Emmy Excitement (Red Carpet Rollout & Sublime Primetime Writer’s Panel)

Poptimal.com was invited to some of the Pre-Emmy excitement and to hang out with Jimmy Fallon, John Shaffner, and Don Mischer.

If that was not enough, the Writer’s Guild of America (West) invited us to their Sublime Primetime writer’s panel event.  This year’s Emmy-nominated writers in attendance were: moderator Carlton Cuse (Lost), Rolin Jones (Friday Night Lights), Mindy Kaling (The Office), Robert King & Michelle King (The Good Wife), Steven Levitan (Modern Family), Bruce C. McKenna and Robert Schenkkan (The Pacific), Ryan Murphy & Brad Falchuk & Ian Brennan (Glee), and Andy Richter (The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien).

Be sure to check out our writer Erin Biglow’s Emmy articles and her photography below:

The 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards: Fallon Ready For His Close Up
A Starry Night For Emmy Attendees At The Governors Ball

John Shaffner (Television of Arts & Sciences Chairman) Jimmy Fallon (host) and Don Mischer (Executive Producer) out the Red Carpet . . . Maybe for Poptimal.com? Nah! John Shaffner (Television of Arts & Sciences Chairman) Jimmy Fallon (host) and Don Mischer (Executive Producer) out the Red Carpet . . . Maybe for Poptimal.com? Nah!	Writer Ryan Murphy (Glee, Eat Pray Love) providing his thoughts about writing for GLEE Writer Ryan Murphy (Glee, Eat Pray Love) providing his thoughts about writing for GLEE	John Shaffner (Television of Arts & Sciences Chairman) Jimmy Fallon (host) and Don Mischer (Executive Producer) out the Red Carpet . . . Maybe for Poptimal.com? Nah! John Shaffner (Television of Arts & Sciences Chairman) Jimmy Fallon (host) and Don Mischer (Executive Producer) out the Red Carpet . . . Maybe for Poptimal.com? Nah!
Outside the NOKIA Theatre L.A. LIVE in downtown Los Angeles Outside the NOKIA Theatre L.A. LIVE in downtown Los Angeles	Writers Carlton Cuse (LOST), Mindy Kaling (The Office), Bruce C. McKenna (The Pacific), Robert Schenkkan (The Pacific), Rolin Jones (Friday Night Lights), Steven Levitan (Modern Family), & Robert King (The Good Wife) Writers Carlton Cuse (LOST), Mindy Kaling (The Office), Bruce C. McKenna (The Pacific), Robert Schenkkan (The Pacific), Rolin Jones (Friday Night Lights), Steven Levitan (Modern Family), & Robert King (The Good Wife)	Robert Schenkkan and Bruce C. McKenna from The Pacific posing with their dates Robert Schenkkan and Bruce C. McKenna from The Pacific posing with their dates
The beautiful & talented Mindy Kaling (The Office) posing for Poptimal.com The beautiful & talented Mindy Kaling (The Office) posing for Poptimal.com	Television of Arts & Sciences Chairman John Shaffner at the Red Carpet Rollout Television of Arts & Sciences Chairman John Shaffner at the Red Carpet Rollout
Jimmy Fallon (host) and Executive Producer Don Mischer Jimmy Fallon (host) and Executive Producer Don Mischer	Jimmy Fallon (host) chatting it up with our writer Erin Biglow at the Red Carpet Rollout Jimmy Fallon (host) chatting it up with our writer Erin Biglow at the Red Carpet Rollout	Writer Ian Brennan (GLEE) hanging with our writer Erin Biglow at WGA's Pre-Emmys panel Writer Ian Brennan (GLEE) hanging with our writer Erin Biglow at WGA's Pre-Emmys panel
Writers Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan, & Ryan Murphy (The Glee Guys) Writers Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan, & Ryan Murphy (The Glee Guys)	Writer Erin Levy (Mad Men) at the Pre-Emmys writing panel Writer Erin Levy (Mad Men) at the Pre-Emmys writing panel	Writer Erin Levy (Mad Men) gracefully poses for Poptimal.com Writer Erin Levy (Mad Men) gracefully poses for Poptimal.com
Erin (Mad Men) & Lawrence Levy Erin (Mad Men) & Lawrence Levy	Executive Producer Don Mischer at the Red Carpet Rollout fro the Emmys 2010 Executive Producer Don Mischer at the Red Carpet Rollout fro the Emmys 2010	Writers Carlton Cuse (LOST), Mindy Kaling (The Office), Bruce C. McKenna (The Pacific), & Robert Schenkkan (The Pacific) Writers Carlton Cuse (LOST), Mindy Kaling (The Office), Bruce C. McKenna (The Pacific), & Robert Schenkkan (The Pacific)
Carlton Cuse, Executive Producer LOST hanging with Poptimal.com at the Pre-Emmy festivities Carlton Cuse, Executive Producer LOST hanging with Poptimal.com at the Pre-Emmy festivities	Brad Falchuk (Executive Producer/Writer Glee) poses for Poptimal.com's cameras at the pre Emmy festivities. Brad Falchuk (Executive Producer/Writer Glee) poses for Poptimal.com's cameras at the pre Emmy festivities.	WGA's Writer's Discussion panel (Pre-Emmys) WGA's Writer's Discussion panel (Pre-Emmys)
Andy Richter (Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien) speaking with Poptimal.com at the WGA's Writer Panel Andy Richter (Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien) speaking with Poptimal.com at the WGA's Writer Panel

Top Chef Review: Oxidation, Skewers, and Ballparks

This week’s episode was titled, “Making Concessions”, fitting for the elimination challenge, and the team work necessary to make it work, as Tim Gunn would say.

Before we get to that, let’s look at the quickfire. Padma and guest judge and Top Chef Masters alumnus Rick Moonen had the chefs pick a food-related idiom to base a dish on. (Don’t know what an idiom is? It’s an expression, word, or phrase that means something other than the literal meanings of the individual words.) Some of the choices included “sour grapes”, “the big cheese”, and “hot potato.”

The big winner is Ed who took “hot potato” and made herb and roasted garlic gnocchi, spring vegetables, and mushroom fricassee. He gets to have his food added to the frozen section aisle courtesy of Schwan’s.

Meanwhile Angelo still appears off his game. Before they get to the Hilton, we get Amanda sniggering during an interview that Angelo listens to Anthony Robbins books and chants to himself. Now that Alex is gone, are we being told that we’ve got a new weirdo in the competition? Early in the season Angelo was made out to be this super intense guy who was arrogant and appeared to have the skills to back it up. Now that he’s taken a nose dive to the bottom, we learn that as a child he had a shrine to famous chefs and he’d pray to them. Let’s not forget his Russian fiancé whom he proposed to in Paris, but has only seen a few times. How is that information relevant to this competition? Oh it’s not, but it just sets up his shadiness given all his flirting with Tameka.

But let’s get back to the relevant stuff. During the elimination round, the chefs learn they will be running a concession stand at Nationals Stadium where they’ll serve upscale food for ballpark goers. Here’s where the title comes in, “making concessions”, concession stands, get it? And that they have to learn to really work together as one unit because the kitchen is such a tiny space.

The night before Angelo steps up after no one else does to be in charge of taking orders. When they get to the concession stand though, he freaks out a little and starts handing out order pads. Kevin gets up in his face and tells him that’s not going to work. They have a little tiff and eventually Ed volunteers to cook Angelo’s dish so that the other is free to take orders. In Angelo’s defense I understand that when you are in a situation where no one wants to give in (because they are all thinking of themselves), you might feel pressured enough to volunteer. Kevin’s reason for getting pissed off, that Angelo shouldn’t have said he’d do it if he wasn’t up for it, is pretty lame. Why didn’t he step up then?

Everything goes smoothly and the lines begin to form. Most of the orders are for Tiffany’s meatball sandwich and Kelly’s crab cake BLT. They also get to feed three players from the Nationals who are big fans of the meatball sandwich and Ed’s shrimp and corn risotto fritters with jalapeno aioli. But what really matters is what the judges think.

Ed wins this round again. He may have lost the trip to Paris but he can take his girlfriend to Australia with this latest victory.

What the judges didn’t like, though, was Amanda’s grey tuna tartare and she gets eliminated for it. For the most part I agree with Ed’s sentiments that she’s been lucky to have made it this far. I think she made lots of mistakes in execution and also lacked the creativity to create new innovative dishes if last week’s French onion soup told us anything.

It came down to her, Kevin, Kelly, and Angelo. Kelly’s crab cake was good, Angelo’s beef was tasty but the bread got soggy, and Kevin’s shoe string potatoes got soggy as well and his little piece of chicken on a big skewer was dangerous. The judges made the right call to send Amanda home.

I predict Kevin will get kicked off next week. Tune in to see if I get it right for a third time or if I strike out and someone else gets let go. Either way I’m still hoping for a double elimination. Anything to make this season go by faster.

For more on Top Chef, click here. You can follow Poptimal on Twitter @poptimal.

Season 7, Episode 11: Making Concessions (originally aired August 25, 2010)

Wednesdays at 10/9C, Bravo

Photographs courtesy of Bravo and David Giesbrecht.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Review: Team Caroline Meets Final Frontier (Joizy-Style)

So basically…

The moral of the story is this:

There’s this full moon that keeps popping up.

Meant to indicate the passage of oh so much time—it fails to distract us from the fact that there’s nothing else to say and nowhere else to go with this season except to another fancy schmancy eatery!

At least there we’ll find fine china and spotless tablecloths to potentially break and soil in this blessed final episode of RHoNJ.

But be ye not deceived. iTunes is not mocked.
I may be hating on this final frontier, but somewhere in America, a demo is entertained to the point of purchase. And repeat purchase at that.

Perhaps, it was Danielle’s revelation in the last few weeks that she would search for her birth mom. Or maybe all of Bravo’s (absolutely 1000 per cent) contrived MacGuff-ing paid off.

Early in the season, Jacqueline came to the conclusion that she, too, was done with Staub.

Alas! This proved a major problem for story structure, as there would soon be no more reason to bring the warring factions to a scripted head—the highlight of the NJ branch of this franchise. Not too many episodes later, Dina Manzo decides to make good on her commitment to free her life of Staub, so she leaves the show. And the show is left swerving to find a purpose.

But it does! (Sort of.) The new plot: Incite confrontation at all costs and to the repeated detriment and humiliation of Supervillain Staub. (Good thing she’s paid.) Thanks to a dear, sweet child in need of rehabilitation—and a sister-in-law duo prepared to run this town—RHoNJ manages to keep drawing audences (como yo) using shameless antics to get ‘er done.

Danny and double-Kim? Bravo better be rewarding your moonlighting efforts.

If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have a missing weave to speak of, Kim D.

If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have a hearty laugh at your two-facedness, Kim G.

And if it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be able to contemplate just how clinically crazy Danielle might actually be, Danny.

So, all the machinations so diligently wrought in the cover of night by the Bravo enterprise bring us to this final moment. (Hallelujah!)

Team Staub faces off with the Don(na): Team Caroline.

While the real Mrs. Manzo probably does give a hoot about Ashley’s misfortune per the family curse, I have trouble believing the finale face-off was anything but coached.

In the end, the hype is unnecessarily…well…hyped.

Just a week ago, Caroline was playing babysitter to Giudice’s litter in the peaks of Italy, simply wanting some R&R with Papa Bear Manzo but unwillingly suffering given Lady Teresa’s itinerary. (Which, might I add, was rather selfishly conceived, no…? The hills were flooded with Giudice. But not hating…just saying…)

Then this week, Caroline chooses to bear Jacqueline’s burdens thanks to Ashley’s decision to put her hands on Danielle?

Sorry.

I’d still want a vacation.

Caroline texts Danielle on the spot during a regular check-in with the fam at your above average, not-so-local or everyday high end fine dining establishment. Laurita, Giudice and Staub are equally confounded–and I’m certain that it’s less by the actual idea of a showdown and much more by the fact that Caroline just called this woman like she was a speed dial BFF!

I smell a production assistant.

There may be a side of drama still to come too in the form of a rather enlightening reunion episode. Will Bravo show its innards ‘round the coffee table convo with Andy? We shall see.

We shall see.

Season 2, Episode 16: The Heads of Family Will Roll (originally aired August 23, 2010)

Mondays at 10/9c on Bravo

For more on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, click here.

Photograph courtesy of Bravo.

A Starry, Starry Night For Emmy Attendees at the Governor’s Ball

This Sunday night, courtesy of Sequoia Productions, West Hall in the Los Angeles Convention Center will be transformed into the largest formal dinner in the United States for the 13^th year in a row. The annual Governor’s Ball, scheduled directly after the Emmy Awards, is set to be catered by famed L.A. restaurant group Patina, and will be decked out with meticulously sweeping grandeur courtesy of award-winning art director Dwight Jackson. I had the fortunate opportunity, on behalf of Poptimal, to sneak a preview of this year’s soiree on Wednesday afternoon, which included a sample of the decadent menu and a visual survey of the impressive site.

The concurrent themes for both style and atmosphere in Sunday’s ball are “Starry, Starry Night” and “Celestial Heaven,” including an ongoing nod to astrology throughout the décor. While this may sound like a high school prom, in actuality the scope of the artistry involved to transform a standard-issue convention hall into such a dazzling spectacle proves beyond impressive. Jackson himself was on hand to elaborate on the staggering detail and overwhelming visual presence the room has in person.

The focal point of the room is the massive, nearly thirty-foot-in-diameter sun surrounding a giant, revolving mirror ball hovering over an elevated dance floor. In the center, a spiral staircase leads up to a towering Emmy award statue live musicians will perform beside, giving them an aerial view of the 3,600 guests below. Additionally, 3,000 smaller mirror balls will suspend from the West Hall ceiling throughout the room to accompany silver table linens and thousands of lighted “stars” twinkling on the carpeted black walls. While an enormous sun and disco ball may seem huge sitting, say, in one’s garage, said Jackson, one needn’t worry about such flamboyant decorations overwhelming a room that’s larger than a regulation-sized football field – 124,000 square feet, to be exact.

“It’s an interesting design problem that doesn’t often occur in film and television – it’s more like a scaling problem, which is what makes this job fun,” Jackson mused, talking about the arduous task of outfitting such a glamorous event taking place in such a cavernous locale.

While I enjoyed admiring the truly remarkable design and decorative aesthetics this year’s Governor’s Ball has to offer, my main interest, as usual, fell squarely on the food and beverage portion of the evening. Patina Executive Catering Chef Alex Lestr presented the evening’s menu, consisting of a first course of a summer vegetable salad with avocado mousse, salsa verde, and heirloom tomato water gelee, a main course of lamb chops with dried fruit crumble, chickpea puree, and basil marinated grilled eggplant with summer vegetables and rosemary juice, and (excuse me while I wipe my drool) a Duncan Hines-partnered dessert course of “dark chocolate decadence” with smoked fleur d’sel, coconut pineapple cupcakes, caramel apple spice cupcakes, and brown butter toffee blondies.

In case you were wondering, I did indeed sample every one of these goodies, and, I must say, tasting the mouth-watering cuisine while immersed in the tremendously ornate surroundings gave me eye-opening, admittedly envious insight into how the other half lives. Did I mention Grey Goose vodka, Beaulieu Vineyard winery and Vitamin Water are sponsors of the event?

Chef Lestr explained the menu has plenty to do with the earlier date of the Emmys this year, in addition to his own  instincts as an esteemed culinary artist. “The Emmys has been moved from September to August, which really changes us from the beginning of fall to the middle of summer,” he began. “So, wow, heirloom tomatoes are just incredible right now, and we also have squashes and zucchini blossoms … we really designed the menu around that … We just came up with food that was delicious, that was seasonal, that we would be able to do very well for 3,500 guests in a short, 2 ½ hour period of time.”

Cheryl Cecchetto, founder of Sequoia Productions, thanked a seemingly endless list of people for assisting her in successfully executing such an impressive event year after year, but put her overall objective into plainly succinct words. “What we love about this venue is that we have the space to be safe and to mingle — and to socialize, and to drink, and to eat – and, as you can see, to dance,” she said.

Governor’s Ball co-chair Russ Patrick, on the other hand, couldn’t keep his composure as under wraps as Cheryl, as his wide-eyed stance rightfully accompanied his statement that surely mimicked what everyone else on the committee was thinking. “We look at each other and say,” he said, gesturing to the extravagant environment, “‘What in God’s name are we gonna do next year that can top the previous year?’” Judging by the bar set at this year’s Governor’s Ball, I’m glad I’m not responsible for answering that question.

For more coverage of The 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards, click here.

The 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards: Fallon Ready For His Close-Up

Emmy week officially kicked off with a literal kick as this year’s awards host Jimmy Fallon, telecast executive producer Don Mischer, and Academy of Television Arts and Sciences chairman John Shaffner were on hand at L.A. Live Wednesday morning to roll out the red carpet for television’s biggest night. First time Emmy emcee Fallon expressed genuine gratitude for the opportunity to host this year’s salute to primetime programming by acknowledging the “team of geniuses” on hand to support his maiden voyage. A humble and gracious Fallon recognized the rollout as what “makes this all real” for him, before declaring the Emmy production crew and behind-the-scenes staff as “the best at what they do.” In true Fallon fashion, however, the SNL alum kept the gushing to a minimum and cranked up his trademark winking humor by drolly delivering a fictionalized account of past Emmy shenanigans.

“Hopefully this rollout will be better than last year,” Fallon deadpanned, “when we rolled [the carpet] out and Paula Abdul was found … She’s fine, she’s fine, just a little dehydrated.” Not one to miss an opportunity to self-deprecate, Fallon continued, “Even after that, she’s still a better dancer than I am, which is sad.”

Adding to the early morning hilarity was Fallon’s succinct preview of the glamorous celebrity eye candy viewers can surely expect on the red carpet. “Beautiful women, beautiful men,” Fallon began before pausing to include  “…[and] Seacrest,” as both a perfunctory afterthought and good-natured dig to the omnipotent airwave presence.

After the ice was broken, Fallon got down to the nitty gritty of what will make this year’s Emmys special, excitedly announcing viewers’ opportunity to participate in the telecast via Twitter as they watch at home. By visiting www.nbc.com/emmys/imontheemmys/ and clicking on the “tweet about the presenters” link, anyone’s comment deemed worthy of on-air recitation can be used as an intro to a presenter’s appearance during the show.

As Fallon put it, “If you have a good intro or a good joke, or if you just want to say, ‘My grandma has a crush on Jon Hamm,’ that could be what we choose [to use] at the Emmys.” Fallon continued, eagerly musing that the Emmys’ new partnership with the social media craze “…should be fun. It’s something interactive, it’s something a little different. It just gives all the viewers at home … a chance to be part of the Emmys.”

To include further enticement, Fallon dictated an alluring scenario to aid viewers’ desire to participate. “If you feel like [introducing] the presenters, if you have something you want to say, you can just type it in, and it can go on live television, live on the Emmys. So you could be sitting at home in your sweatpants, drinking a milkshake, and be on the Emmys.” Fallon then used a common exchange heard on the red carpet to illustrate his point that even the coziest of couch potatoes will be given the Emmy treatment: “‘Who are you wearing?’” Fallon mocked. “‘Snuggie.’”

While Fallon had the entire press line in stitches, both Mischer and Shaffner were on hand to keep a tone of seriousness alive amid the palpable mirth. Aside from Twitter’s involvement, both men agreed that a general theme present in this year’s Emmys is an intent to acknowledge the television industry as a whole instead of focusing on the elite nominees. “We are really trying to take a broad look back at the television season,” said Mischer. “We are focusing not just on shows that are nominated, but also on other things that may not have been eligible or did not in fact get [a nomination] … A lot of things have happened that are funny, interesting … powerful and poignant … and we’re really trying to represent that, but we have to do it in a way that’s going to be fun.”

Shaffner echoed this sentiment, adding, “We’ve always struggled with, ‘What is the awards show?’ I think you have to pay attention to what the content is, and I think we really focused … on celebrating the whole year in television — not just the Emmy-nominated programs, but all the programs … Just because a show doesn’t get nominated doesn’t mean there aren’t great moments from that show, so we really made our show about the year in television and that makes a big difference to the audience at home.”

Even Fallon had to take a break in his signature levity to ponder the gravity of his upcoming gig — for a moment. When asked what his preparation plan was for Emmy morning, the comedian shifted back to his funnyman ways:  “Wake up. Maybe throw up a couple of times — that’s more to lose weight, not because I’m nervous – then I gotta put my Spanx on … and then have breakfast with Snooki and come right to the stage.”

No self-respecting television junkie should miss Jimmy Fallon hosting the Primetime Emmys this Sunday, August 29, 2010 at 8 p.m. EST on NBC.

White Collar Review: Suits Go Rogue

FBI Agent Peter Burke is a straight and narrow, by the book type of individual. But this week, the book is thrown out the window when the suit goes “rogue” and on the run to help a fellow FBI agent.

We join White Collar on a Saturday morning breakfast with Mr. and Mrs. Burke (welcome back El!). Not a relaxed Saturday morning, because both are on their cell phones for work and must rush off, but they plan a date later for a movie, bottle of wine, and Peter’s famous pot roast.

On the way to the Bureau, Neal, who is not thrilled about working on the weekend, tells Peter about an art exhibit, “White Bored,” that he wants to go see. Peter declines an offer to go but says that Neal can go to the exhibit, which is out of his radius, if he finds an FBI agent escort.

At the office, they discover their bosses’ boss Bancroft (Joe Morton) and the U.S. marshals, including a cocky and uncooperative Marshal John Deckard (Max Martini), are there to bring in Peter’s team on a case. It involves Peter’s former white collar colleague, Agent Jack Franklin (Jeremy Davidson), who is a fugitive and suspected of revealing locations of federal witnesses, some of which have been murdered. Franklin was demoted from the white collar unit for having an inappropriate relationship with his CI (confidential informant). Peter is determined to find Franklin before the Marshals because he is “one of us.”

Peter and Neal decide to question Franklin’s CI, Rebecca Vidal, who sells luxury cars. Peter and Rebecca go for a test drive in a hot Ferrari, where Peter reveals that he is with the FBI. Rebecca insists that she hasn’t seen Franklin and doesn’t know where he is. Trying to appeal to her, Peter says, “my CI is who I turn to when I need help,” and explains that he would be willing to listen to Franklin if he contacts Rebecca. Meanwhile, back at the car dealer, Neal, posed as Nick Halden, sells a car, and gets into Rebecca’s computer and learns that she took one of her aliases out for an hour and a half test drive the day before. Neal and Peter suspect she was actually with Agent Franklin.

Back at the FBI office, Diana found the actual case file Franklin was working on before he was transferred. Inside the file, there are surveillance pictures of witnesses plus Marshal Deckard and a defense lawyer, Stan Volker. But why? Deckard quickly shows up at the bureau because he is tracking Neal’s anklet. Peter doesn’t share the latest discovery and goes home to work and start his “date night” pot roast.

At the Burkes’, Peter’s cooking is interrupted by Franklin who is willing to talk. Franklin explains that Marshal Deckard is the one who was selling the witness locations and working with Volker. Franklin can prove it because there is a hard copy of the evidence in Volker’s office.

Meanwhile, Neal makes a quick pit stop at his apartment where Mozzie is working on the cockpit tape. Moz discovered the phone number that Kate called but it was a store bought burner cell phone.

Peter and Franklin rush to Volker’s office only to find Deckard, who is there destroying evidence and starts shooting at them. Agents Burke and Franklin get away from Deckard with some help from their CIs by commandeering Volker’s Lamborghini. A victorious Peter tells Franklin, “my CI beat your CI.” They later meet up with Jones and Neal, who disables the GPS on the Lamborghini. To clear Agent Franklin’s name and expose Marshal Deckard for the crimes, he and Peter go on the run.

Neal arranges for help—Mozzie to the rescue as he provides a hideout, his “Tuesday” safehouse, “somewhere no suit has ever gone,” for Peter and Franklin. Mozzie’s “Tuesday” is amazing—an abandoned warehouse but decorated with Buddhist décor including a Zen sand garden. Peter asks, “Mozzie, how would you like to participate in a government sanctioned con?” Mozzie replies, “Involving a dirty marshal, Stan and one of his prized Lamborghinis? How about yes.”

So the government sanctioned con begins…Mozzie visits El for date night to explain about Peter being on the run but also that he is safe. They also share a bottle of “vino.” Meanwhile, Neal and Jones, who are keeping tabs on Deckard, are in a surveillance van outside the Burkes’ home. Neal discovers that Deckard has a key to his anklet, which he later lifts.

Deckard, Neal and Jones tail Mozzie as leaves the Burkes’. Mozzie heads to the luxury car dealer. Mozzie tells Franklin’s CI, Rebecca, to pretend that she knows him to help clear Franklin’s name. Diana shows up with the defense attorney, Volker, who believes they are there about his stolen car. Outside, Neal receives a phone call with both Peter and their boss, Bancroft, on the line telling Neal to run a “prisoner’s dilemma” on Deckard and Volker. Their plot is successful—they get Volker to rat on Deckard and arrest them both. Later, good news for Franklin…he has been cleared of all charges and reinstated into the white collar department.

While the rest of the agents leave the bureau, Mozzie calls Neal to tell him he knew who Kate called: Agent Garrett Fowler. Neal, while holding the key to his anklet, says, “now I need to find him.” But before Neal can leave, in a surprising twist, Bancroft asks Neal if he wants to attend the “White Bored” exhibit with him, which Neal has been dying to see.

The episode closes with Peter, on his cell phone with El, going to “Tuesday” to bring a new rake to Mozzie but when he arrives, Tuesday is empty except for a note that says “J. Edgar Hoover was here” in the sand.

Another week and another superb White Collar episode. At this point, I expect nothing less. White Collar had many fantastic elements in this week’s episode including the return of Mrs. Suit. To quote Mozzie, “it was nice to see you, Mrs. Suit.” I was thrilled to have Elizabeth back in this episode. Hooray for no more green screens! The cast just felt complete with her back.

We were also invited into Mozzie’s home, “Tuesday,” which he frequents on Wednesdays. How Mozzie-like! And what a change of pace for Agent By The Book Burke driving hot cars around New York and being on the run. Plus, this episode was overflowing with what I like to call Mozzie-isms, i.e., “mi casa es suit casa.”

The voice behind the Mozzie-isms, the White Collar writers, deserve plenty of recognition for their topnotch writing and creative banter that they entertain us with each week. Kudos and keep it coming!

I can’t believe it but only two White Collar episodes left this summer. I guess what they say is true, time flies when you’re having fun.

Season 2, Episode 7: Prisoner’s Dilemma (originally aired August 24, 2010)

For more on White Collar, click here.  You can follow Poptimal on Twitter @poptimal.

Tuesdays at 9/8c on USA Network

Images courtesy of David Giesbrecht and the USA Network.

Pop Culture Gurus Meet High Heeled Social Butterflies

Our writers and management team were invited out to an exclusive Happy Hour with DC On Heels at the Park at 14th in downtown DC.  It was a great time.  Check out our photos from the event below.

Poptimal.com's DC Team with Vanessa and Markett Poptimal.com's DC Team with Vanessa and Markett	Our Founder Zu Williams with DC On Heels co-founders Vanessa and Markette Our Founder Zu Williams with DC On Heels co-founders Vanessa and Markette	Writer Alana D. (center) enjoying the club atmosphere w/ girlfriends Nyema (left) and Sonia (right) Writer Alana D. (center) enjoying the club atmosphere w/ girlfriends Nyema (left) and Sonia (right)
Writer Alana D. (center) enjoying the club atmosphere w/ girlfriends Nyema (left) and Sonia (right) Writer Alana D. (center) enjoying the club atmosphere w/ girlfriends Nyema (left) and Sonia (right)	Writer Alana D. (center) hanging out w/ DC On Heels co-founders Vanessa (left) and Markette (right) Writer Alana D. (center) hanging out w/ DC On Heels co-founders Vanessa (left) and Markette (right)	Our Manager of Movie Content Jamal Henry kicking it with his wife Nyema Our Manager of Movie Content Jamal Henry kicking it with his wife Nyema
Our founder Zu Williams w/ DC entrepreneur Ramone Penny Our founder Zu Williams w/ DC entrepreneur Ramone Penny	Writer Mighel Jakson w/ girlfriend Sonia Writer Mighel Jakson w/ girlfriend Sonia	Jone Dome Regular Sebastian (center) hanging with Manager of Movie Content Jamal Henry (left) Jone Dome Regular Sebastian (center) hanging with Manager of Movie Content Jamal Henry (left)
Poptimal.com writers Matt DeGroot and Linda S. with Markette, Vanessa, and Wende Poptimal.com writers Matt DeGroot and Linda S. with Markette, Vanessa, and Wende	Poptimal.com witers Matt DeGroot and Linda S. w/ Friend Wende Poptimal.com witers Matt DeGroot and Linda S. w/ Friend Wende

True Blood Review: I Smell A Rat

Greetings, loyal Truebies, as we inch one step closer to the imminent Season Three finale set to occur in a mere two weeks.

After we were left hanging with Russell’s epically shocking behavior involving both a declaration of war between humans and vampires and the spine removal of an unfortunate newscaster – on live television, to boot – I had predicted a more relaxing episode this week, hoping Alan Ball and company would have the good judgment to prevent viewers from suffering complete sensory overload from another mind-blowing development. Indeed, “I Smell a Rat” followed suit with my expectations and toned down the theatrics, serving as a meditation of sorts on the aftermath of last week’s shocking shenanigans. Some would say this means the episode was boring, but I found it strangely reassuring to watch the characters at least attempt to make sense of the messes they’re in, both collectively and individually, and try to assess the extent of the havoc wreaked upon the residents of Bon Temps.

Of course, this is True Blood, so the hour was by no means devoid of an eye-opening backstory and game-changing developments that could thwart the trajectory of multiple characters’ storylines by the end of the season. Sticking to business as usual, a few impulsive decisions were still made that ended up essentially negating any otherwise promising progress rational behavior would have secured.

We start things off with an attention-grabber, as the first line of dialogue spoken in Sunday’s episode is Sookie’s incredulous response to Bill divulging her identity: “I’m a faerie?!” she scoffs. “How f—in’ lame.” While this piece of information may have been one of the worst kept secrets ever as far as most viewers are concerned (I silently echoed Sookie’s sentiments to myself, verbatim) and gave the anticipated disclosure a rather anti-climactic feel, Bill’s subsequent statements certainly made my ears perk up.

After explaining that one of Sookie’s ancestors had been forced to procreate with a faerie long ago, establishing the supernatural bloodline in the Stackhouse family tree, Bill tells Sookie that her appeal to Russell, Sophie-Anne and Eric lies within the fact that faeries’ blood is “delectable and intoxicating” for vamps. Bill assures a skeptical Sookie his feelings for her are genuine, however, and not inspired by his instinctual drive to suck her dry. Whatever you say, Bill. The opening credits are then cued by perhaps the most pertinent piece of information in the entire episode: Faeries, as a species, are generally believed to be extinct, annihilated at the hand of hungry vampires. Hmm. No wonder that Sookie Stackhouse is such a hot commodity.

Outside Merlotte’s, Jason and Tara are processing his impromptu slaying of Franklin – a character I’m sad to see go, frankly. He and Russell could have had dueling insanities for seasons to come, and I’d have stayed glued to my seat. Jason is immediately reminded of both his secret slaughter of Eggs and vampire Eddie’s brutal demise months earlier at the hands of his then-girlfriend Amy, and begins to go a bit crazy himself. While practically rolling around in Franklin’s stringy remains and simultaneously experiencing the five stages of grief in record time, Tara snaps him out of it and instructs him to “DIG!” He and Tara do a rather shoddy cover-up job of the guts and speed off in Jason’s truck to burn Franklin’s clothes.

Hats off to the editors for smoothly cutting to another careening pickup, as Jesus, Lafayette, Crystal and a bloodied Calvin hightail it to the hospital to mend Sam’s brutal handiwork. Instead of the ER, however, Lafayette stops at his house to give Cal a drop or two of vampire blood, healing his mangled mug almost instantly. While Crystal cries with delighted relief, Jesus is shocked and intrigued by the effects the V had on Calvin’s injuries. Calvin, meanwhile, is horrified at Crystal for letting a couple of gay guys feed him “fangers’ blood,” an apparent double-whammy to a hillbilly’s ego. Crystal tries to point out that his life has been saved, but Calvin’s pride is too damaged and he focuses on the fact Crystal has ditched Hotshot and her birthright to have Felton’s children (corrective side note: I’ve been calling Felton “Fenton” for the last couple of recaps. Apologies.) to shack up with a human. “We ain’t supposed to mix,” Calvin sneers at Crystal, who doesn’t help matters by declaring she doesn’t love Felton. Calvin charmingly informs Crystal, “You ain’t supposed to love him. You just gotta lie under him.” Touching. As Calvin runs off and a more-pathetic-by-the-second Crystal chases after him, Lafayette utters the best and most succinctly accurate character assessment of the season: “Them f—ers is a whole new dimension of trash.” Hee!

Calvin’s miraculous recovery is unbeknownst to a guilt-ridden Sam, who’s using whiskey to aid both the physical and psychological ramifications of his sudden attack of brutality at Merlotte’s. After pondering a series of unsupportive voices from the past, Sam takes an ill-advised trip down memory lane to ripen his already looming self-destruct. It’s flashback time, to 2003, where we see a clean-shaven, suit-wearing Sam, hair slicked back, enter a hotel room with a comely blonde. He and his lady friend are all over each other and drooling over the contents of the bags Sam has brought with him. As fistfuls of expensive jewelry tumble out of the sacks and the blonde’s eyes widen with glee, it’s become apparent Sam has not always used his shifting abilities for the greater good. As he begins to project a future of bar ownership and good-looking kids with his girl, a sleazy-looking fellow with a pistol sneaks around the corner and holds the barrel of the gun to Sam’s temple. Turns out, poor Sam was taken for a chump by both the blonde and her real boyfriend as they run off with Sam’s loot and he’s left on the floor of the hotel room with empty pockets and a broken heart.

Meanwhile, back at Fangtasia, a seriously spooked and seriously screwed Eric is frantically getting his affairs in order in the likely case a vengeful Russell decides to show up and rip out his spine. As a lawyer recites the terms of his will, Eric reveals he intends to leave his entire estate to Pam (or, Pamela Swynford de Beaufort, a name almost as fit for a Southern belle as Scarlett O’Hara). Yvetta, serving as a legal witness, is upset she isn’t being considered in Eric’s life beyond the “job and good sex” he promised her. Eric isn’t in the mood for whining and shouts a handful of offensive obscenities in Yvetta’s direction until she flees the room in tears. A disgusted Pam clearly isn’t impressed and calls Eric a “cold hearted bastard.”

Back in Bon Temps, Bill is watching perennial TV talking head Nan Flanagan desperately try to spin the PR disaster Russell’s homicidal tirade had on the AVL’s cause back in her favor by likening him to Jeffrey Dahmer – the horrific acts of one person, she claims, shouldn’t create a backlash against their entire species. There certainly wasn’t an anti-human movement after such monsters as Dahmer went on their killing sprees, were there? Nice try, Nan, but Russell’s outburst has spiked the fundamentalist fear-mongers’ motivation through the roof and anti-vampire sentiments are saturating through society like a wet sponge. Case in point? Arlene, watching TV at Merlotte’s, is transfixed by the smug return of Steve Newlin and his Fellowship of the Sun movement as though it were the Second Coming. Newlin states to his audience that if he weren’t such a good Christian, he’d say, “told you so!” regarding the allegedly proven unforgivable evil of the vampire race. Between this and Jessica’s discovery of a burning cross in her front yard, I could write a thesis about the wry symbolism True Blood uses to parallel vampires’ plight for civil rights to our political climate in real life, but the transgression could distract me for pages. And pages. While I love me some shirtless Eric as much as the next gal, my love for True Blood as a show lies directly in its cutting satire of society and its ongoing bigotry throughout history, and scenes like this only rekindle said love and make my heart aflutter. Sigh.

As Nan continues, Eric interrupts and announces to a startled Bill that he, too, knows what Sookie is (thanks, Hadley) and asks Bill if the rumors are true — can faerie blood actually neutralize a vampire’s aversion to sunlight? Bill scoffs at Eric, asking him why he’d bother revealing any information to Russell’s “butt boy” (Bill’s uncharacteristically crude words, not mine). Eric informs Bill rather plainly that his standing with Russell was destroyed as soon as he killed Talbot. Bill sarcastically thanks Eric for single-handedly setting vampires’ cause back 1,000 years at the whim of a madman, and then admits that faerie blood only makes a vamp able to stay in the sun for a few minutes and smolder more slowly than normal — but smolder nonetheless. This question had apparently been of particular interest to Sophie-Anne, as Eric mentions she’ll be “disappointed” upon this news. Eric then cryptically warns Bill that he’ll “tell Sookie the truth” if he loves her. Before I can ask, Sookie appears and takes the words right out of my mouth, inquiring, “what truth?” Bill, the predictably bad liar he always is, says the “truth” they’re referring to is the remarkably un-earth shattering news that Sookie’s a faerie, which is a glaringly lame cover but somehow suits Sookie just fine. What is Bill hiding? Why is Sookie so frustratingly dumb when it comes to this guy?

After an increasingly creepy Tommy hits on Jessica at Merlotte’s, again, and hilariously assures her he isn’t too good for her (I’m howling – what an idiot), Hoyt is seen enduring yet another painfully awkward date with the painfully eager Summer. Poor thing – both of them. Hoyt can’t take it anymore (can’t blame him) and heads to Merlotte’s to declare his love for Jessica, much to Tommy’s raging chagrin. Jessica is dumbstruck at Hoyt’s gesture and responds by citing her history of doing “terrible things” as a vampire as the reason behind her unworthiness for Hoyt’s affections. Hoyt and his broken heart slump out of Merlotte’s where a pesky Tommy tries to be a smart ass and rightfully gets clocked in the face by a morose Hoyt. Tommy then shifts into a pit bull and tears a serious gash in Hoyt’s arm before Jessica shows up, tosses Tommy (still in pit bull form) into the woods (another guffaw-inducing moment), and tells a profusely bleeding Hoyt, “I love you, too. Now drink my blood.” Aww.

Back at Jason’s house, Bill and Sookie have been hiding out and are greeted by a Franklin-covered Jason and an unhappy Tara, still targeting much of her residual anger at Bill for his disregard for her safety while she was being held hostage at Russell’s. Sookie begins to protest Tara’s vehement disapproval of Bill’s reappearance in Sookie’s life when Tara finally explains what Franklin had done to her and that Bill hadn’t “lifted a finger” to help her. Instead of being horrified that her boyfriend had treated her best friend this way, Sookie chooses the sympathetic route and gives Tara a hug. Oh, Sookie. Bill, meanwhile, has asked Jason to make sure he has adequate weapons to protect Sookie from the impending werewolf attack should it happen during the day when he can’t be there. Jason assures Bill he has it all under control, which I would find the least-assuring statement possible, coming from Jason Stackhouse.

The next morning, Jesus and Lafayette are discussing the previous night’s events after Lafayette discovers Jesus rummaging through his stash of V with visible curiosity. After a convincing campaign from Jesus, they each take a taste and embark on a hallucinogenic trip so deeply vivid they share the same visions and catch a glimpse of each other’s paranormally inclined ancestors. From Lafayette’s great-grandma Winnie using a magic powder to protect her from her abusive owner to Jesus’ sorcerer grandfather who practiced “black arts,” it seems my assumption that the relationship between Jesus and Lafayette wouldn’t involve any supernatural activity was dead wrong. I remember Ruby Jean’s mysterious mumblings about Lafayette’s “power,” but I had assumed any further exploration of this tenuous subplot would either go completely ignored or remain untouched at least until next season. As a fan of Lafayette, Jesus and their intensifying romance, consider me intrigued.

Sam braves surely one of the worst morning afters of his life and quietly steps into Merlotte’s with a visible, albeit quivering, resolve. It’s immediately clear the entire staff is terrified of him after they all witnessed him beat someone to a pulp the night before, but Sam announces that Lafayette had called to tell him “the guy’s fine” and everyone can go about their work and “pretend to be normal.” Ha! The mysterious Holly hands Sam an, ahem, herbal remedy she says curbs rage, defending her nosiness with the assertion she’s a practicing Wiccan. Sam raises his eyebrows and informs Holly there are two rules at Merlotte’s: no dancing, and no religion. All right, then. Tommy tells Sam he was “proud” of his “big brother” for his testosterone-drenched demonstration the night before, a statement to which Sam replies, “Yeah, well, you’re an idiot.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Meanwhile, Terry has snuck out back for a smoke and Arlene corners him to  finally fess up about the baby being Rene’s. She explains she wants to “get rid of it” because the spawn of someone so heinous couldn’t be anything but evil, but Terry responds all kinds of adorable and insists he’ll raise the child as his own and the loving household they’ll provide will insure the kid is a relatively normal human being — under Bon Temps standards, anyway. Despite this amazing declaration of devotion from Terry that would turn most women into a helpless puddle of goo, Arlene asks Holly the self-proclaimed witch about her alluded-to “other ways” to end the pregnancy.

Back at Stackhouse central, Sookie and Jason are discussing Jason’s murder of Franklin, an act that, combined with his guilt over the deaths of both Eddie and Eggs, has culminated into a grief so profound Jason can barely speak without wailing in despair. Sookie is confident Jason did the right thing, considering Franklin’s monstrous treatment of Tara, but recoils in horror when Jason admits to his role in Eggs’ death. Sookie insists Jason tell Tara the truth because “people always find out anyway and it’s 10 times worse.” She has a point, but Jason says he’s kept the truth about Eggs from Tara to protect her. Sookie is dubious, saying Jason isn’t protecting Tara, he’s just lying to her. Those two things, says Jason, “ain’t so different.” Besides, says, Jason, Sookie’s opinion is unfairly biased because no one can lie to her – no one, that is, except vampires. Duly noted.

As Sookie naps on the sofa, she dreams about a visit from Eric in which he insists, “you know you have feelings for me.” Although Sookie responds with a tart “Ew,” the predictable dreamland sexytime commences anyhow. More importantly, Eric tells Sookie, again, that she “can’t trust Bill,” and the consistently cryptic, increasingly  maddening, loose end of this plotline continues to drive me crazy. What does Bill have up his sleeve, if anything? Considering the amount of heavy-handed foreshadowing devoted to this exact topic, it had better be something. Eric begins to munch on Sookie’s jugular and she wakes up with a jolt. Jason has taken Tara breakfast in bed, slowly working up the guts to spill the beans about the murder of Eggs. Tara derails his intentions by batting her eyelashes and gushing how Jason has “been saving [her] since [she] was a little girl,” and they actually kiss for a few seconds before Tara realizes she’s made a mistake and begins to run out of the room with embarrassment. Before she gets too far, however, Jason blurts out rather impulsively, “I shot Eggs,” and Tara’s stunned silence evokes a deeper level of anguish than the loudest shriek ever could. She seemingly tries to keep her eyes from popping out of her skull, and runs out of the house. Jason begins to chase after her, but then makes the unfortunate discovery that Sookie has skipped town, leaving a completely uninformative note regarding her whereabouts.

While Jason begins to frantically look for Sookie, we find out she’s headed to Fangtasia to confront Eric about her dream and demands to know why she can’t trust Bill. Yeah! Before I can get too excited, however, Eric all but avoids the question and launches into a soggy proclamation about his imminent execution at the hands of Russell, and his inability to live with exiting the world without ever having really kissed Sookie Stackhouse. Whoa. Sookie tries her best to pretend she didn’t completely fall for that (nice try), but the kiss happens anyway, and it’s actually quite glorious in terms of fluffy True Blood anticipated romantic interludes. Pam, however, interrupts as her fabulous self walks into Eric’s office, drolly stating, “Blah, blah. Vampire emergency. Blah,” as her reason to lure Eric away from Sookie. An incredulous Pam is miffed Eric is purposely bypassing the opportunity to relieve himself of Russell’s ire – if Eric just handed Sookie over to Russell’s captivity, he would no longer have to fear for his life. Eric vehemently denies this option as a viable possibility, which hurts Pam’s feelings because she can’t believe Eric has such deep-rooted feelings for a human that would make him choose Pam, and his life, second. Sniff.

As for Russell, he’s separating himself farther and farther from sanity as we catch him propositioning a male prostitute in a dirty alleyway, Jar ‘O Talbot in tow. The young escort looks dubious at the glass urn of guts his prospective client is carrying with him, but seems to overlook all warning signs as the many faces of Benjamin Franklin are waved in his face. As Russell and his new companion lie next to each other in a seedy hotel room, Russell is clearly hallucinating the young man as Talbot, and talking to him as though he were still alive. The escort looks visibly, and understandably, terrified, but we then see him through Russell’s eyes as Talbot himself looks back and Russell says his final goodbye and stakes him through the heart. Yikes.

Despite his put-together appearance at work earlier in the day, Sam clearly hasn’t sorted through his issues, as he drunkenly stumbles through the woods and continues to reminisce his past. A return to 2003 is shown where the conniving blonde and her pistol-toting boyfriend are counting Sam’s stash by a campfire while a cute, inquisitive beagle looks on from a distance. As the pistol is set down on a tree stump, the beagle rushes toward the campfire and shifts into Sam (was that supposed to be a surprise?), then grabs the pistol and demands his money back. Bonnie and Clyde don’t acquiesce as quickly as Sam would like, and he begins to beat the real boyfriend within an inch of his life, showing similar lack of control as he did with Calvin. As the blonde screams for him to stop, Sam has no restraint and accidentally shoots her in the chest. Horrified, Sam feels he has no choice but to also kill the boyfriend, demonstrating a pattern of impulsive rage he’s clearly had problems processing for years. Turns out, Sam has more Mickens in him than we previously thought.

Back at Jason’s, Bill is livid Sookie has gone missing under Jason’s watch. Jason reminds Bill he knows as well as anyone that she’s going to do whatever she wants regardless of what her boyfriend or brother say – and, oh yeah, how dare Bill give him a hard time when he’s the one who almost killed her with his own two fangs. Tired of Bill’s nagging and using the opportunity to vent his pent-up frustration, Jason revokes his invitation to let Bill in the house, forcing him by the vampire code to back out the front door until Jason says otherwise. Jason, having a Suck it, Bill! look of satisfaction on his face, hears a strange sound in his bedroom and discovers a gorgeous (albeit glaringly CGI) black panther intently staring at him. Stunned, Jason’s only response as the panther shifts into Crystal (I’m glad this is finally getting somewhere, but again, was this supposed to be a surprise?) is a meek, whispered, “Mama.” My level of interest in Crystal has increased a hair, but will only remain on the up and up if most of her screen time is spent in panther form.

Back at Fangtasia, Eric has apparently found a new spring in his step after his conversation with Pam as he marches back into his office where a pouting Sookie begins to shout how he can’t just keep her prisoner if he feels like going somewhere without her. “Oh, yes I can,” Eric tartly replies as he flings her over his shoulders and chains her up in the basement. WHAT?! Oh, now I get it: “I Smell a Rat.” Indeed. Cut to black.

While I agree Eric’s change of heart is founded upon good timing now that Russell’s energy is surely focused on revenge after paying final respects to Talbot, I have to wonder what his motivation really is. His devotion to Pam is surely a factor, but one mustn’t forget he does have a deal with Nan and the AVL to kill Russell or he’ll have far bigger problems than a telepathic waitress in his basement. With only two episodes left in the season, so many loose ends remain I can’t imagine how everything could possibly be tied up in a couple of weeks. I’m anxious to see which storylines will be given the axe and which ones will be carried over into what is shaping up to be an intense Season Four. Villains don’t have a good track record on True Blood, given Rene’s death in Season One and Maryann’s long overdue demise in Season Two, but I’m hoping Russell Edgington breaks the pattern and sticks around Bon Temps for a while to come. With the paradigm between vampires and humans shifting so profoundly in the True Blood universe, I can’t imagine the character most responsible being killed off just as things get rolling – but, as we know, stranger things have happened in Bon Temps.

Season 3, Episode 10: I Smell a Rat (originally aired August 22, 2010)

For more on True Blood, click here.

Sundays at 9pm on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO and IMDbPro

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