Dancing with the Stars Review: It’s Never Too Early to Panic

Len gave us new words to live by last week, and I have found a new hero in Florence Henderson.

Dancing with the Stars is back!! I couldn’t be more excited for three reasons:

1. Tom Bergeron is the best. host. on. TV. Ever?

2. Brooke Burke is the worst host on TV ever, and it never gets old to laugh at her/cringe at the awkward silences between her and the stars.

3. This gives me a reason to shamelessly judge celebrities, which is sadly one of my favorite past-times anyway, but now I feel justified because they are literally performing in front of judgmental people. OK, maybe they are “judges” and get “paid” to do that, but I think that gives the rest of us free range, right?

Right.

So here are the high lights and the low lights, and who you should be rooting for this season:

The Hoff is Off: I couldn’t resist, and was anyone really surprised? David Hasselhoff made me uncomfortable during his performance and I don’t think he could see through his post plastic surgery eye balls. At least he can still say he is huge in Germany, even though I don’t really know why or how. The man’s got to have something.

Bristol Palin: Ohemgee. Where to begin. Shouldn’t a Family Values coalition be freaking out and picketing ABC for this? Call me crazy, but dancing without pants on national television doesn’t exactly scream “I love abstinence, and so should you!” to me. I hope everyone else died laughing when she learned about her song choice (see: tongue and cheek) and was all “OMG that is so my and Levi’s song!” Honestly, what is Bristol doing here? The judges gave her credit because she isn’t a celebrity or a performer, which begs the question why she is appearing on a show with “Star” in the title (and not as in the magazine).

The Situation: Bla. Just, bla.

Florence Henderson: Why hello, dark horse! Who knew Mrs. Brady was so funny and had the mouth of a truck driver. Flo admitted that she has wanted to be on the show since season one, so hats off for making things happen. She was so charming and delightful and can really move for an aging woman. If I were to actually vote on this show (and I never will), Flo would definitely have my vote; she’s the new Betty White (love her, but I am over the Betty White hysteria. Find your crown and turn it in, Mrs. White).

Audrina: Just as boring and forgettable as on The Hills.

Jennifer Grey: Had the best dress and best dance of the night. It took me a hot second to realize why she was getting so emotional over dancing to a song from Dirty Dancing, and then I had an “oh duuuuuh” moment. I guess it was really touching to dance to a song that meant a lot to her and Patrick Swayze, and I do keep forgetting that he is gone. RIP Pat, and here’s to a long run for Jennifer (I realize that sounded really morbid– I meant a long run on the show. But also applicable to life).

Rick Fox: Marry me.

Margaret Cho: I feel like she got way more flack than she should have for adding humor into her routine. Even though I could have done without the slapstick, I thought she did a pretty damn good job. She is a personal fave of mine, and is partnered with Louis Van Amstel, who I want to be real life BFFs with, so look for me to fall more and more in love with this pair each week.

Kurt and Kyle: Who are you? I really don’t know who you are. Someone explain.

Michael Bolton: Was a good looking hippie in his younger years, which I think is going to serve him well in the competition because it looked like he was dancing with bricks in his feet. Can only ride that train for so long, Mr. Bolton.

Brandy: I saved Brandy for last because I truly dislike her. Ever since she faked her marriage when she got pregnant then had that questionable hit and run and then appeared on every VH1 show… downhill express. I think she will stick around because everyone loves Maks, but I was over her before she stepped on stage. Watch for it, and I bet she will annoy the hell out of you when you see her mug on screen. I think she should have had a Behind the Music show dedicated to her before appearing on this DWTS, then maybe I could forgive all her for her phase (read: life) and move on to judge her more objectively. While dancing at least.

So this is what we have, team! Let the opinions fly and the critiques of the critic begin.

No matter how into this show I get, which is a lot, I know I will never actually call/text in to vote, so here’s to influencing the masses! Dance on.

For another opinion on this week’s episodes, check out “Dancing With the Stars” is Back for Another Round of Cheese by Kelley Lynn.

Season 11, Week 1: Round 1 Performances and Results Show (originally aired September 20 and 21, 2010)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c, Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey

Jone Dome: Biglow’s Badass Celebrity Breakdown

Season 3 Episode 3 – Jone Dome: Listen to our newest addition to the Jone Dome family as Poptimal.com writer, Erin Biglow, breaks down the latest socio-political-celebrity news.  Erin is not a woman to be trifled and she knows her sh*t.   Welcome to the Jone Dome!

In this episode: Rally to Restore Sanity/Keep Fear Alive, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Lady Gaga & Gay Rights, Joaquin Phoenix. (Available on iTunes)

If you have trouble with the above player, use this one below: [display_podcast]

 

Show Credits:

Written & hosted by: Erin Biglow
Produced & Edited by: Poptimal.com
Venue: Hollywood, CA
Intro: Serendipity (by Amani Starnes)

 

 

 

(If the show does not play using the link at the bottom of the page, you can download it: Download|Podcast Alley)

T. Dubb is a lover of the arts and enjoys drawing, listening to music, and watching movies in her spare time. Originally from Los Angeles, she currently resides in Davis, CA.

 

Check out our Pics from that night:

Jersey Shore Review: A Gross Group

When we last left our gang of guidos, Pauly was having a romantic date with Rocio and Vinny was being stood up.  Angelina reluctantly told Jose about her hook up with Vinny, and it appeared that he had forgiven her.  I completely agree that it is a woman’s prerogative to decide if and when she will become intimate with a man.  I’m not saying that Angelina owes Jose anything for the gifts he has given her.  But she has quite dubious judgment.  If you are going to get your rocks off, why not with a guy who is sweet and actually likes you?  Instead, she continues to hold out on him and hooks up with a guy who cares nothing for her.

We finally meet JWoww’s boyfriend Tom when he comes to visit.  The lovebirds aren’t happy for long after Tom finds the phone number of a guy that he told Jenni not to take down before she left.  She wrote the number down anyway, but never used it.  Tom gets angry and threatens to leave, saying that she blew it.  After several minutes he cools down and they lovingly pick each other’s noses.  I guess that’s how they make up.

Let’s get back to Angelina for a second.  She’s easily the most disgusting girl on the show.  Aside from having sex indiscriminately, she appears to be going after Snooki’s sloppy seconds.  First Vinny, then another guy that Snooki met at one of the clubs.  She instigates conflict with the other housemates and constantly does things to alienate herself from them.  Her friend Gina comes for a visit and the two cruise the beach for guys.  Angelina meets a cute guy and invites him back to the house.  Unbeknownst to her, while she was at the beach Mike was back at the house cleaning up.  The kitchen is in a perpetual state of filth, so he cleans up most of it and leaves the dishes for Angelina.  When he goes to clean the bathroom he finds a used feminine product on the floor.  It belongs to Angelina, and Mike places it under her pillow.  She’s a pig, or what is commonly known as a “trifling” female.  I mean these kids really make themselves look bad, they are all disgusting!  When Angelina comes back home with Gina and her new friend, she is embarrassed to discover the “item” in front of them. The guy doesn’t say anything, he just laughs nervously.  When Mike comes home he and Angelina go at it, with the Situation telling her just how nasty she is.  The episode ends with her attacking him.

Pauly is still smitten by Rocio, the girl he went out with.  He explains that he wants to take it slowly so that he doesn’t mess anything up or turn her into a stalker.  It’s nice to see a different side of him and to see that he is capable of being respectful towards a girl.  Vinny is still hurt by being stood up, but maybe that’s a bit of karma for his past actions with the opposite sex.  The Situation tries to hook up with a girl in the bathroom at the club, but gets busted by security.  Angelina lied to everyone and said that she had birthday sex with Jose, so they will stop harping on her about it.  Her lie backfires because it just makes the housemates think that she is even more promiscuous by sleeping with one guy on one night (Vinny) and a different guy the next night (Jose).  Angelina’s a loser, and Mike totally aired her out in front of her friends.  That’s why she went all Jerry Springer on him.

Next week it looks like Angelina and Snooki will battle after bumping heads about dating the same small pool of guys.  By season’s end I expect all the girls to have fought with each other and for Angelina to have slapped each guy at least once.  Jersey Shore is worse than any season of Real World, which means great ratings for MTV.  Next week’s episode promises to be even more explosive than the last.

Season 2, Episode 9: Dirty Pad (originally aired September 23, 2010)

For more Jersey Shore, click here.

Follow Poptimal on Twitter @poptimal.

Images courtesy of MTV.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia Review: Love and Marriage

At 7:30 a.m., on a Monday, in Philadelphia, newly married Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton) is quietly sneaking out of his apartment to avoid waking his bride, high school sweetheart Maureen Ponderosa, whom he impulsively married in last week’s sixth season premiere of the FX comedy It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. As Dennis points out to an unfortunately stirring Maureen that he’s left cab fare on the nightstand for her (“We’re married,” a clueless Maureen reminds an exasperated Dennis. “I’m already home, silly!”), he can barely conceal his increasing desire to strangle her with his bare hands.

Appropriately titled “Dennis Gets Divorced,” the sophomore installment of this season of Sunny explored the disintegration of three rather unwise relationships between the cast members and their chosen partners, all rooted in varying degrees of silliness but equal levels of narcissism. In other words, it’s just another typical day at Paddy’s.

Charlie (Charlie Day) and Frank (Danny DeVito) had decided to engage in a civil union in spite of their mutual heterosexuality in order to enjoy the financial benefits marriage has to offer (Charlie’s particular need for health insurance was a key factor) but their wedded bliss has already given way to the standard-issue bickering witnessed in an old couple together for decades – except weirder, of course. Just as Charlie is explaining how Frank duped him into signing a prenup (“You told me it was the phone bill! Of course I signed it!”), Dee (Kaitlin Olson) strolls in with a strut of satisfaction, eager to share the news that her married suitor, Maureen’s brother Bill, has gifted her with a brand new set of wheels. The guys couldn’t care less, and instead focus on Dennis’ request for a belated bachelor party, for which he points to Mac as his de facto best man and unofficial chairman.

The quickie wedding caused Mac (Rob McElhenney) to be thrown out of his room in he and Dennis’ apartment on a whim, so while soaping up his armpits with water from the bar sink, now his makeshift bathtub, he begins to protest having to organize the bash with little result. Dennis is eager to head to the strip club, and Frank’s enthusiasm quickly catches up. After enduring an exhausting partnership with Charlie for all of one week, Frank quips he’s “gotta get [his] hetero on.”

While the guys embark on a scintillating adventure at a neighborhood titty bar where much of their time is devoted to theorizing the amount of money it takes to “make it rain,” Dee is faced with the repercussions of her affair. Bill has confessed his infidelity to his wife and needs a place to crash, preferably Dee’s apartment. Dee finds this proposal rather repugnant, but grudgingly obliges due to Bill’s guilt trip about his lavish gift. “You’re gonna jam the car in my face, huh?” Dee incredulously sneers as she dutifully opens her front door.

Meanwhile, Dennis and Mac arrive home after the bachelor party with the unmistakable, obnoxious noise only impossibly drunk people can make, angering an awakened Maureen. When Dennis offers her a shot, she bitterly reminds him she doesn’t drink with perhaps the funniest line of the night. “I think it makes people look ugly,” she remarks with succinct dejection. Funny, alcohol seems to have the exact opposite effect for everyone else. As Mac makes the horrific discovery that his former bedroom is now Maureen’s “craft studio,” a haven for the multitude of hilarious sweatshirts she makes with faces of cats emblazoned on them, Dennis realizes he’s had enough and screams “DIVORCE!” at the top of his lungs.

Admitting his complete intoxication but insisting “my mind is sober,” Dennis unleashes his pent up fury to Maureen’s widening eyes, calling her “annoying and strange,” and points out her “dead tooth” to add insult to injury. Maureen, growing more awesome by the minute despite the sweatshirts, responds by threatening to call the cops and filing a domestic abuse claim. When Dennis begins to scoff at her lack of evidence, Maureen begins to – get this — slowly thump her chest with her fist to give herself an incriminating bruise, a la Mark Wahlberg in Fear, causing Dennis and Mac to quickly realize the morbid depth of Maureen’s wackiness. I don’t blame them. As a card-carrying member of Gen Y, I know Fear sure blew my eighth-grade mind to smithereens back in 1996. I thought the chest-beating reference was spot-on and showed the writers’ acute awareness of their target demographic. Kudos.

Back at Dee’s, Bill’s all but trashed the place as he makes himself at home, lounging on the couch in his tighty-whities in front of the TV, surrounded by his own filth. Dee announces she’s had enough and demands he take a hike, after loosely establishing she can keep the car, of course. A despondent Bill asks her to drop him back off at home as one last favor, and she complies with an irritated eye-roll. As she pulls up to the house and Bill asks her to wait a moment while he sizes up the situation, he comes bolting out of the house moment later with his two children in tow, ordering a shocked Dee to drive off.

The guys are gathered at Paddy’s, with Charlie and Frank hashing out the details of their impending divorce, and Mac and Dennis (now also bathing in the bar sink as a result of last night’s shenanigans) discussing Dennis’ legal freedom from Maureen. After a reminder that their go-to lawyer has a restraining order on the whole gang, Charlie offers his uncle as their new legal representative, a sniveling, moustached milquetoast with a bizarre hand fetish.

As Charlie and Frank begin to verbally divide their assets, Uncle Lawyer convinces them to just agree to an annulment and negate the need for such frivolous matters as deciding who gets to keep the hot plate. Dee then comes rushing in to inform the gang of her unintentional role in kidnapping Bill’s kids. Everyone goes outside to investigate when Bill is seen arguing with another woman Dee assumes is his wife, but is actually his other mistress who is under the impression Dee’s new car actually belongs to her. Then, Bill’s actual wife really does show up to rescue the kids and assumes Dee is a prostitute. When Dee corrects her, Bill’s wife tartly responds, “Congratulations. You’re the only other woman he didn’t have to pay to have sex with him,” adding, “Good for you!” with dripping condescension. When she watches the mistress drive away in the shiny BMW, Dee realizes she’s back to the drawing board.

Mac, Dennis and Uncle Lawyer arrive back at the apartment to serve Maureen with divorce papers only to discover she’s already found a lawyer of her own, a man of strapping stature and well-constructed hands who captures the awe of Uncle Lawyer on the spot. Enamored, the uncle and Maureen’s new lawyer reach a settlement in seconds, deciding Dennis can keep the apartment but must take on Maureen’s $90,000 debt in addition to providing alimony payments. Bummer. Uncle Lawyer then asks for a picture with the new lawyer displaying his impressive set of hands as Dennis poses with his mouth agape. “It’s for the website,” Uncle Lawyer explains. “We’re lawyers!”

I was completely on board with Sunny during its first season but my interest admittedly waned once DeVito joined the cast and, in my opinion, the shark jumping subsequently ensued. However, the crisp writing and reliably deft efforts of the cast in Thursday’s episode reminded me that the formula for this irreverent cult favorite is still a winning one. Here’s hoping the gang can keep offending with the continuing sense of witty derision and complete lack of social grace that gave Sunny its rabid fans in the first place.

Season 6, Episode 2: Dennis Gets Divorced (originally aired September 23, 2010)

For more on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Project Runway Review: The Show is Finally Cancelled

The pressure has never been higher than on this week’s Project Runway. At stake are not only the bragging rights for one more week, the challenge winner for this task will walk away with an unprecedented $20,000 prize (read TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!) If that doesn’t stoke your desire for victory, than nothing will. And I suppose I should say the win is its own reward, but that’s not going to get you a miniature pony now is it April?

There are two challenges this week for the designers. The first challenge is to create a high fashion look inspired by L’Oreal Paris’ Studio Secret eye shadow. The winning garment will be featured in an ad for L’Oreal Paris and the designer of said garment will walk away with $20,000.

All of the designers are psyched about this prize and they list off all the things that money can give them. While some designers are blinded by the silly things this money could buy (Gretchen wants to pay off her credit card debt), other designers keep their feet firmly planted on the ground (April decides to buy a miniature horse, a plan which garners my full support. After all, you have all your life to pay off a credit card, but there’s only one chance to splurge on a tiny horse you haven’t a chance of supporting in the long term. Yay Phillip! {That’s what I named the horse.})

Anyway, the designers are determined to go all out and really push the boundaries for this challenge. Mondo is inspired by a kaleidoscope, and hopes to play up the shifting colors for his design. This idea is very true to Mondo’s aesthetic as we have seen in the past. As Mondo says, ‘why play with crayons if there’s only one color.’ Ivy is also taking inspiration in color. This comes as a shock but Ivy wants to prove to the judges that she’s capable of muted colors. She takes inspiration from Hawaii and tries to imitate the waves. For her colors, she chooses two awkward shades of blue that spark neither interest nor contrast. It becomes clear fairly early that Ivy may be taking the wave thing a little too literally. But at this point, it’s make it work time. Andy decides to go warrior with his design, making a very structured suit for his model. After last week’s close elimination Andy is determined to prove to the judges that he belongs in the competition. Gretchen makes this kimono style top that Tim cautions looks like a robe. Michael C. plans this elaborate gown of a color similar to Gretchen’s. Gretchen’s too busy harping over this to see even though the color is similar, their designs are worlds apart. Whereas Gretchen’s is stately, Michael’s design is way over the top.

Just when the designers all believe they may have found their stride, Tim comes to completely knock them off their feet with a second challenge. Hours before the challenge is due to end fashion mentor Tim Gunn reveals that there is a second challenge to this task. Along with the avant-garde design designers must create an accompanying ready to wear look. And even though Tim says he is devastated to spring such unwelcome news on the designers, he’s getting mighty comfortable doing so.

The designers are all in a tailspin about having to create another design, especially since most of them are nowhere near finished with their high-fashion look. Valerie takes this task the hardest. A day and a half into the challenge and Valerie still has no design to show for it. Having thrown away her first design, Val is left half a day to create two designs. She is totally freaked and basically working to just put her model in something.

On the Runway, designer Naeem Khan serves as guest judge.

The designs on the Runway were cute, but twenty thousand dollars worth I’m not quite sure. April’s haute design was nice. It had the look of a ringmaster at some sort of twisted circus. Both of Mondo’s looks were statement pieces, his ready to wear was the most striking as it looked like his model was run over by a car, but in a nice way. Ivy’s is just an ugly blue dress. Michael gave his model a train as long as the dress; this dress is as extravagant as his ready to wear is skimpy. Andy achieved the warrior thing that he was going for, with a nice clean black suit that definitely made a statement. Christopher’s look was reminiscent of a silent screen film goddess. Gretchen’s girl looked like a woodland hippie and Valerie’s looks were beautiful but nothing special.

In the top three this week are Mondo, Gretchen and Andy. The judges loved the techniques of Andy’s piece, especially how he made the pants into boots by having his model wear her shoes under the sculpted feet. This an amazing detail, really above par. The judges liked Gretchen’s look, but thought it had more detail in the front than in the back. Mondo’s look was a big hit. The judges loved both his gown as well as the hat he made for his model. Michael Kors called his look very glamorous. Mondo pulls out a win for this one.

In the bottom three are Ivy, Valerie, and Michael C. All of the judges believed that the bottom designs had a bridesmaid/pageant problem. Ivy’s undersea bridesmaid suffered from poor color choices and a bad fit. Nina questioned Valerie’s taste after seeing her wacky pageant dress. And though the judges praised Michael on his construction, they felt that his ballgown was not modern enough and found the train to be ridiculous. In the end, it was the Ivy show that was cancelled.

Season 8, Episode 9: Race to the Finish (originally aired September 23, 2010)

For more on Project Runway, click here. You can follow Poptimal on Twitter @poptimal.

Thursdays at 9pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime.

Supernatural Review: Family Reunion Let Down

Oh how I missed the Winchester boys and it was certainly a treat to see them back on screen. At the end of last season, Sam and Adam fell into the cage with their respective angel and fallen angel (Michael and Lucifer) neatly inside them. Dean had been beaten to a bloody pulp and after watching both his brothers get swallowed up in hell, he follows Sam’s last request of him and lives a normal life with Lisa and her son Ben.  Of course the very last scene actually shows the younger Winchester watching his older brother inside Lisa’s house and we’re left wondering what the hell happened.

The new season starts with domesticated Dean. He gets up at seven am, makes breakfast for Ben and Lisa before heading off to work as a carpenter. They have backyard barbecues with the neighbors. You might take the hunter out of the hunt but you can never take the hunt out of the hunter. Dean still looks out the windows, checks every door every night and keeps a shotgun under the bed.

He is also still very guarded about his past, not that you’d talk about hunting demons with the regular folk admittedly. After grabbing beers at a local bar with a neighbor one night, Dean hears a scream and decides to investigate with a flashlight and handgun with him. He enters a building being renovated and at first you think he’s just imagining things but then there is a claw mark and blood smeared on the wall. He goes home and does a little investigating on the phone but comes up with no leads.

Dean’s spidey senses are tingling. Something doesn’t feel right and as he is about to leave for work, he sees the claw mark again on a telephone pole. It is too much of a coincidence so he decides to check the house behind it and sees another claw mark on the door of a tool shed. Dean opens the door and a small terrier is sitting inside! Not exactly a demon. But then his neighbor startles him by asking if he was carrying a gun and was he about to shoot a dog. Dean quickly explains that as he had been a pest exterminator he thought the dog had been a possum with rabies. Good one.

At the last second though he notices sulfur at the bottom corner of the tool shed’s doorway. He makes his way back to his own garage and loads weapons into a duffel bag from the trunk of the Impala that’s been sitting unused. Lisa suddenly appears, asking him if everything was okay because she just ran into the neighbor who told her that Dean was about to shoot a dog. He explains that he’s probably just being paranoid but suggests that she and Ben go out to a movie and to The Cheesecake Factory while he investigates just to be thorough. After he leaves, Azazel appears, saying that he was brought back. The demon is choking the elder Winchester when Sam  shows up and stabs it with a syringe.

Dean wakes up and is reunited with his brother. It turns out that he had been poisoned by a djinn and none of what he had seen was real. Sam drinks salt water and cuts himself to prove that he is indeed himself and back. He just doesn’t know how he got back or why. We find out that Sammy has been hunting for a year now and he hasn’t been doing it alone.

Surprise their grandfather Samuel Campbell was brought back too! Oh and now there are other Campbell family hunters including Parker Lewis, I mean Corin Nemec (he plays their cousin Christian Campbell). Samuel explains that he doesn’t know how or why he was brought back either, but he gathered up his little troop to do what he does best, kill monsters.

Dean of course is absolutely confused and pissed off that Sam had been back a year and didn’t contact him. The younger Winchester explains that he wanted a normal life for his big brother and that he deserved it. When Dean finds out that the djinns have been gunning for him and Sam (Sam had been poisoned first which prompted him to finally go to Dean) he realizes that Lisa and Ben might be harmed. They race back to the house to find one of the hunters watching over his house poisoned.

Lisa and Ben are unharmed because they were at the movies. Dean takes them to Bobby’s and he learns that Bobby had known that Sam was back too. He gets pissed off again because he had basically been grieving for the past year. The elder hunter though was with Sam, he wanted Dean to get out of the hunt and have a chance at a normal life.

Dean and Lisa have an intimate conversation where he apologizes for entering their lives because he believes that he has put them in harm’s way. He says that the past always catches up to you. Lisa calls him an idiot because she had the best year of her life with him in it. He was being a father figure to her son and that’s what she had wanted the most.

The Winchesters are set up as bait to lure the djinns to them. It works and after a scuffle Dean gets poisoned again where he imagines Lisa and Ben about to enter the house where Azazel is waiting. Sam manages to kill one of the djinns but is about to be outnumbered when grandpa Samuel comes in to save the day. He tells Sam to get Dean (who had been trying to help his neighbors who had been djinn victims). Samuel doesn’t kill the last djinn though and instead has Christian place a bag over her head ominously telling the younger man to take her away before the boys get back. Cue mysterious borderline evil look from actor Mitch Pileggi.

At the end Dean decides that he’s not going to join Sam and the Campbell family hunters after all. He wants to protect Lisa and Ben because he feels responsible for their safety. He offers his brother the Impala, but is turned down because Sam had his own black rebellious car now. Ouch.

Overall at first I felt kind of disappointed with the episode. Maybe since both Sam and Dean had been brought back from hell already that it seemed so unsatisfying that he was just back. The same goes for grandpa Samuel and his little band of hunting misfits. How the heck did Samuel find Sam? I know that this is just the beginning of the season with a completely brand new storyline but having so many new things presented makes me feel a little uncertain and suspicious. In fact I’m sure this is how Dean is feeling.

What I did like though is how the brothers have flipped roles where now Sam is the one who’s been hunting voluntarily and Dean is the one with a “normal” life, where at the beginning of the series the situation had been reversed. Both characters are still themselves but they have grown based on the experiences of the past year. Sam is now less emotional and when Dean asks him if he wants to talk about hell he declines, totally reminding me of how Dean had been when he had first been brought back. Speaking of the elder Winchester, it was great to see a new side of him, from turning away waitresses, to declaring himself unavailable. It’s totally new for Dean to be tied to a whole new life that he has with Lisa and Ben.

This season is a fresh start for the series with Eric Kripke no longer being the show-runner. I hope the series continues to be creative and well written as it had been in the past because this first episode just wasn’t doing it for me. Having the djinns attacking the Winchesters just for petty revenge over the death of their father seemed kinda weak. But then again maybe battling Lucifer is just a hard act to follow. In any case here’s hoping grandpa Samuel and his merry men don’t turn out to be lame. My spidey senses are tingling though that something doesn’t feel quite right yet either.

Season 6, Episode 1: Exile on Main Street (original air date Sept. 24, 2010)

For more on Supernatural, click here.

Fridays at 9/8C on The CW

Photograph courtesy of The CW and Michael Courtney.

The Vampire Diaries Review: Eatin’ Bunnies and Freakin’ Out

Things are getting hairy on The Vampire Diaries and I mean that literally. The mystery of the hunky Lockwood family is deepening and as most viewers have figured out for themselves long ago, they are none other than full-blown werewolves out to make life hell for our vampire heroes. The Salvatore brothers first became suspicious of the Lockwoods last week but have now brought out the big guns by calling up Alaric (Matthew Davis), the trusty History teacher of Mystic Falls and fighter of all things supernatural, to get to the bottom of it. And though he seems like a good guy, that new Ken Doll haircut he’s rocking just doesn’t work.

If you remember, Alaric used to be married to the evil Isobel who in addition to being the mother of Elena was also an expert in all local folklore including our favorite vampires. So in order to figure out the mystery of the Lockwoods, Damon and Elena convince Alaric to show them Isobel’s research and what they learn is more than enough to scare the tight pants off of Damon and Stefan. According to Isobel’s research, werewolves are in fact real and their bites can kill a vampire! Dun, dun, duuuuuun!

While the others are off doing research Stefan stays behind to help train Caroline in the ways of the vampire. After convincing Bonnie to put on the spell that makes it safe for Caroline to go in the sunlight, he teaches her how to hunt and eat small woodland creatures, which was actually pretty humorous. I have to admit that I despised the character of Caroline but more and more she is becoming a highlight of the series for me as she tries to adjust to her new status as a vampire. Her reactions as she learns more about it are priceless so I’m grateful to Producer Kevin Williamson for turning her and look forward to seeing her progress.

My love of vampire Caroline though doesn’t mean she isn’t without complications. She still has her regular human boyfriend, Matt, to deal with and after a day of vampire training she wants to spend a little time with him. Like any good teenage relationship this quickly leads to making out. The only problem is that making out is still a little too sexy for her in vampire mode so she loses it and goes to town on his neck with those new fangs of hers. Before she can suck him dry though, Stefan swoops in and pulls her off to warn her that a werewolf could be hunting them and right on cue, Mason Lockwood in wolf form pounces and tries to bite off Caroline’s face.

It is then that Tyler Lockwood (who stumbled upon the action after getting turned down by a girl who actually wants Matt) yells at the wolf and immediately calms it down before it runs away. Stefan and Caroline wipe the memories of Matt and Tyler clean but a little bit of damage is done on both ends. Tyler still manages to find Mason stumbling out of the woods buck naked and covered in dirt (big clue!) and Matt ends up dumping Caroline for all of the dramatic mood swings she’s been going through. And just when things couldn’t get worse, Caroline wakes up the next day with evil Katherine at her bedside looking to make friends and get into some mischief. Will my new favorite character sink so low as to team up with Katherine to do bitchy things?!?!

God, I hope so.

I can already tell that this season will have more dramatic twists and turns than the first season and I think the only way it will be able to sustain watch-ability is if it kind of goes over the top without apologizing for it. They’re already venturing into territories where taking themselves too seriously could be deadly and easily jump the shark so they’ve got to just throw more and more at us hoping that something will stick. For instance, what was with the episode-ending kiss between Alaric and dowdy Aunt Jenna (Sara Canning)? Could there possibly be two other characters that we care so little about but still get screen time for an out of left field relationship? Didn’t think so. I think we’ll see a lot more like that as the year goes on. After all, they’ve got 19 more episodes to fill and I already foresee a struggle to fill them. So bring on the ridiculous, Vampire Diaries writers! If I don’t see the headless horseman or Frankenstein’s monster by the end of the season, I’m going to be terribly disappointed.

Season 2, Episode 3: Bad Moon Rising (originally aired September 23, 2010)

For more on The Vampire Diaries, click here.

Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Bob Mahoney

Grey’s Anatomy Review: Picking up the Pieces

It’s that familiar time again of year again, when I must keep the Kleenex close at hand.  A new season of Grey’s Anatomy begins in the aftermath of a shooting rampage that left several people dead.

Everyone is hanging by a thread.  Each doctor must be cleared by a psychiatrist before they are allowed to return to surgery.  Most of these type A personalities are trying to give off an air of normalcy, especially Alex and Meredith – but they are all suffering mightily.  Tragedy affects people differently, and everyone has a unique coping mechanism.  Derek’s near-death experience has left him filled with zest and adrenaline, almost as if he has a new lease on life.  They are all experiencing some form of Post-Traumatic Stress, especially the great Dr. Bailey, who looks as if she’s one second away from a break down.  Her blossoming relationship with Ben comes to a screeching halt because she unfairly blames him for not enduring the tragedy with everyone else.  He had the day off and was playing golf while Bailey cradled a dying Dr. Percy in her arms.  It’s not his fault that he wasn’t there, but our emotions don’t always make sense.  Bailey is broken and wounded, and the tragedy she endured brought her closer to her co-workers.  Ben was not there, so he can’t understand her pain, nor does she have the energy or ability to give him what a relationship requires.

Alex has been cleared for surgery, even keeping the bullets in his body as a badge of honor.  And because chicks like stuff like that.  Arizona thinks Callie is going to start pressing her about children, but it turns out that Callie just wants to move in together.  This relieves Arizona, because even though she relented on the issue of kids, she’d still like to take things slowly.  Meredith hasn’t told Derek about her miscarriage, and she is lying to the psychiatrist about what happened.  He can tell that she’s holding back, and that’s why she has not been cleared for surgery.  Cristina has not been cleared either.  Everyone who hasn’t been cleared must meet for group therapy sessions to work through their issues, and I suspect that this shrink will be around for several more episodes as everyone tries to put their lives back together.

Perhaps the most significant new development of the season is Owen and Cristina’s marriage.  Their union was clearly impulsively borne out of tragedy, so maybe that is why Meredith opposes it initially.  She finally comes around after looking at the big picture.  Owen is a good man and Cristina can still find happiness, even though she had to be cut out of her last wedding dress.  They have a simple ceremony at Meredith and Derek’s home.  “Death-wish” Derek has been racking up speeding tickets, because he’s turned into an adrenaline junkie after surviving the shooting.  His reckless driving lands him in a jail cell (again), so Meredith leaves him there to teach him a lesson.  I thought that was kind of messed up, since he was the best man.  She could have made her point another way.

This was a great first episode that sets us up for what’s to come.  I hope the season isn’t all gloom and doom while everyone tries to recover from what happened.  Such a character study would be fascinating, but a bit of a downer for a series already known for its tear-jerking abilities.  There was at least one very funny moment of the last episode, when Derek’s newfound impulsivity causes him to step down as Chief, returning the position to Richard.   Webber was so excited that he danced for about five minutes in his office: his own private victory dance.  The kind you do when no one is looking; it was cute.

I’m excited for a new season of one of the best shows on television.  Get your Kleenex ready!

Season 7, Episode 1: With You I’m Born Again (originally aired September 23, 2010)

For more Grey’s Anatomy, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC

Photos courtesy of ABC and Peter “Hopper” Stone

You Again Review: Jackass for Women

There comes a time when you must put away childish things, apparently that’s true everywhere but Hollywood as the new film You Again proves you’re never too old to act a fool. Kristin Bell, Sigourney Weaver and Jamie Lee Curtis take a trip down memory lane and rediscover their kindergarten years. The result is, as you can imagine, terrifying.

You Again stars Kristen Belll as Marni, a successful PR exec who wasn’t always so successful or beautiful, or even noticeable. After an absence of several years she returns home to discover that her brother is marrying Joanna (played by Odette Yustman), the girl who made her high school years a living hell. Unable to reconcile the new saintly Joanna with her high school tormentor, Marnie vows to stop the wedding and show her brother his soon-to-be bride’s true colors. Things become worse when Marnie’s mother Gail (Jamie Lee Curtis), learns that Joanna’s doting aunt Ramona (Sigourney Weaver) is none other than her own high school terror. So begins 105 minutes of petty one-upmanship and juvenile hysteria that is not so much funny, as sadly pathetic.

You Again is going for quirky comedy; unfortunately it manages neither as this film gets sadder and more disturbing as it progresses. The desperation of the characters taint every aspect of this film; turning great actors and a good story into child’s play.

There is promise in the premise of the film: a young woman struggles to reclaim her life against the interference of a childhood tormentor. There is enough substance here to make an adequate film, instead juvenile antics and petty squabbles detract from what could have been a deep and meaningful story.

You Again reeks of desperation. The putrid dripping ooze of adolescence angst ferments into a bitter and bile-filled balloon and I just got socked in the face. This movie is beyond comprehension. These are supposed to be grown women and they’re acting like six-year old children. How in the world is anyone supposed to relate, or even sympathize with that? At one point, after a particularly shameful public food/water fight between Gail/ Marnie and Ramona/Joanna, patriarch Mark (played by Victor Garber) sits his family down for a schoolyard scolding. The resulting scene in which Bell and Curtis pout and squirm under censor is smack your head stupid. You’ll be begging for them to grow up, the problem is that they never do. There is no point where the characters grow up see their faults. For all this angst there is no payoff.  I know we all have issues, in fact I believe all characters should.

The one grace of this film is also its curse. You Again has a powerful cast; Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis and Kristen Bell have all proven themselves to be fine actresses in their various works. Why in the world this film would want to take these great artists and transform them into such trite caricatures is completely beyond my understanding. Perhaps this film could have benefited from lackluster talent; as it is all the actors threw themselves completely into their roles. This does them no credit as said characters are seriously flawed. The great Betty White plays Marni’s Grandma Bunny…this is where I’m going to make a few enemies.

In general, I don’t see why Betty White is hot again. I think at this point, people just want her in their movies/show because her name is hot right now. Unfortunately, the roles that I have seen White in since her reemergence are a let-down. This is just another to add to the list. Betty White has a lifetime of comedic works that assures her place in its history, so to see her now reduced to snarky one-liners and classless clichés is the biggest affront to comedy that I have ever seen. She is capable of so much more than that. I want to see her do more than that. In You Again, White plays a wannabe cougar, maybe? She’s not quite committed to the script; there is a disconnection there and I take this as a sign of her intelligence. Even with her skills, she can’t fake that she’s buying this tripe. But unfortunately the job is to sell it to us; and that’s a fail. It’s not all her fault. Her character has no development whatsoever. Her character is written as a series of one-liners that might have worked if she were also senile. This character is supposed to be funny, but isn’t.

You Again fails on so many levels. The foremost of which is it manages to make every single actor a fool. Honestly, it’s like Jackass, stupid people doing stupid stuff; but unlike Johnny Knoxville and crew they don’t know they’re being foolish.

You again also stars Kristin Chenoweth as Georgia King the epic wedding planner, James Wolk as Will, Marnie’s brother, Kyle Bornheimer as Tim, Joanna’s unstable ex, and Sean Wing as Marnie’s crush Charlie. A gorgeously handsome athlete makes an appearance near the beginning of the film as an air marshal. I won’t tell you who because if you see this movie, you’re going to need something to look forward to….

But if you’re impatient I’ll go ahead and tell you.

It’s Dwayne Johnson, and he is magnificent.

Smallville Review: The Beginning of the End

I can hardly believe I’m saying this but after nine years of watching the adventures of a young Clark Kent, I have finally seen the last season premiere of Smallville ever. It all began back in my senior year of high school when I optimistically thought a show like this would maybe last two or three seasons, but here we are entering the tenth and final season of a series that has seemingly refused to quit. Sure, there may have been bumps along the way but like me, Smallville grew up and it matured into a show that offered an enduring level of entertainment value that never wavered thanks to a great cast and the iconic characters that they portray. And although it saddens me to think that one of my favorites will be taking a bow at the end of this season, I take heart in the fact that the show’s producers are going out on their own schedule and have a whole year of surprises planned leading up to what will surely be an epic and unforgettable finale.

Last season ended on an extremely high note with Lois (Erica Durance) finally figuring out Clark’s (Tom Welling) secret just as he steps up to become the hero he’s always been meant to be with an act of great sacrifice that banished the evil Zod from Earth. But this particular act of sacrifice (like any great act of sacrifice) was not without a great chance of death. With a blade of blue kryptonite (which takes away his powers) plunged deep into his chest, we last saw Clark falling gracefully from the heights of Metropolis’ skyline to an uncertain fate on the ground. And this is exactly where this season’s premiere picked up.

After landing with what we can assume was a pretty resounding thud, Lois stumbles upon Clark’s lifeless body and removes the blue kryptonite as we get a glimpse into Clark’s mind where he teeters on the edge of afterlife where the mysterious shape of Lex Luthor lingers. But instead of tussling with him there Lois’ removal of kryptonite brings Clark bouncing back to life. The catch is though that he doesn’t realize it was Lois who saved him which leads to some adorable banter between the two of them later on. Now that Lois knows I think she’s definitely going to have some fun with it before she shows her cards.

Another cliffhanger from last season’s finale to deal with was the mysterious attack on Oliver (Justin Hartley) that lead to his disappearance. Chloe (Allison Mack) is on the case though on two fronts. One includes sending Clark off to investigate a leftover Luthor company called Cadmus Labs while the other includes putting on Dr. Fate’s helmet. We met Dr. Fate and his helmet in last year’s great “Absolute Justice” episode and therefore know that it can help one see other people’s fates. The downside is that it also makes you a little bit crazy and it really puts Chloe through it. But despite going a little wonky she sees that something is going down at Cadmus and sends Clark there to the rescue.

But before Clark gets there we are introduced to Cadmus Labs via Tess Mercer (Cassidy Freeman) who wakes up there completely healed from her near death experience and is surrounded by defunct clones of Lex Luthor who seem to exist for the purpose of harvesting body parts for the real Lex. One fully grown one (looking mighty ugly) goes renegade, ties up Tess, destroys all of the others, and then rushes off to Smallville where he kidnaps Lois and ties her to a scarecrow post much like we saw Clark tied to in the series’ very first episode.

In true hero mode, Clark finds the busted Lex clone who poses the classic superhero conundrum of saving the girl he loves over stopping a bomb at the Daily Planet building. And again, like all superheroes he is able to accomplish the feat with an amazing display of speed and what appears to be just a tiny bit of flying…finally. Feeling pleased with himself afterwards it appears that he is about to put on the classic red and blue suit that his mom gave him at the end of last season (putting me on the verge of freaking out) but instead he gets sent to the Fortress of Solitude where Jor-El (voice of Terence Stamp) bitches him out for being cocky and basically says it wasn’t his decision to help Clark get back from the dead. Talk about a kick in the face.

And if that wasn’t bad enough we then learn that Lois has peaced out to Africa to work with Perry White, Chloe has saved Oliver only by giving herself up as a hostage to the mysterious baddy instead, and Tess is now raising the sole surviving Lex clone as if it were her child. Things end slightly more optimistically with a visit from the ghost or spirit…or something of Jonathan Kent played by John Schneider who we hadn’t seen since way back in season five. The scene is touching and brought back a lot of memories but also hinted at the looming darkness that Clark must face this final year in the form of villain Darkseid. All in all things are going to get wild.

There was a lot going on in this season premiere episode to a point where a casual viewer would probably be turned off or confused but I think it is relatively safe to assume that things will calm down a bit in subsequent episodes. While not the best episode the series has ever produced this is an honorable start to the tenth and final year and I’ll be looking forward to each Friday night with relish as we finally see the closing chapter of Clark becoming Earth’s greatest hero!

Season 10, Episode 1: Lazarus (Originally aired September 24, 2010)

Fridays at 8/7c on The CW.

For more on Smallville, click here.

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Jack Rowland.

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