“Dancing With the Stars” is Back for Another Round of Cheese

If you want the ultimate in cheese-fest television, you have come to the right place.  From the unintentionally hilarious title (stars? really?) to the ridiculous looking costumes that make even RuPaul stand up and shout “Now that’s GAY!”, to the insanely tacky, yet coveted, mirror-ball trophy prize that goes to the winner, Dancing With the Stars does not disappoint. And even though every season is certainly filled with plenty of WTF-list “celebrities”, season 11 has really outdone itself. This bizarre cast of dancer wannabes is weirder than the wedding party at Michael Jackson’s wedding. And bigger, too! Since this show insists on starting out with about 87 different dancing couples, we had better not waste any time and get right to the judging. Otherwise this review will be longer than that phony rug that lies on Bret Michaels’ bandana-laced head. (Stick with me folks. The jokes will get better – it’s still early and I’m cranky.)

Since this is the first week of the show, I will go through each pair-up with a bit more detail than normal, introducing them and then talking about their debut performance in night one. Strap on your heels, kids. This is going to take awhile …

1. Audrina Patridge (star of The Hills) and Tony Dovolani:

This couple was first on the dance floor and they started things off with a Cha-cha-cha. Even though they resembled two giant canaries in their very yellow costumes, the dance was quite good and a nice start to the evening. Judges’ scores: 6/7/6

2. Kurt Warner (NFL MVP) and Anna Trebunskaya:

This couple was given The Viennese Waltz, although to me it looked more like “The Awkward Stumble.” Poor Kurt. He looked really uncomfortable. I just wanted to toss him a football, give him a hug, and tell him it would be okay. Cranky judge Len Goodman agreed with me while Carrie Ann Inaba and the delightfully ridiculous Bruno Tonioli did not. Watching the judges argue on this show is often more entertaining than the dancing. I love it when they fight! Judges’ scores: 7/5/7

3. Kyle Massey (Disney star) and Lacey Schwimmer:

Okay, first off, I found it hysterical that they introduced Kyle simply as “Disney Star Kyle Massey!” I’m guessing that if you’re over the age of 12, you were at home, like me, going “Ummm… who?” Apparently he stars on some show called Cory In the House – and if you are 7, you might watch it. Anyway, he won me over with his silly, fun, and very energetic Cha-cha-cha. The judges loved it too. Judges’ scores: 8/7/8

4. Rick Fox (Lakers NBA Champ) and Cheryl Burke:

Two smooth, beautiful dancers in extremely attractive bodies; Cheryl Burke is the object of my husband’s fantasies, and now Rick might be mine. Although I have to say his extreme face sweating is kind of a turn-off. In any case, they danced their Waltz quite well and I think Carrie Anne was inappropriately touching herself under that desk. Jeez, calm down lady. Judges’ scores: 8/7/7

5. Margaret Cho (comedian) and Louis Van Amstel:

I think this show is out to get Margaret Cho. I think they hate her and want to make her look bad. Why else would they put her in THE ugliest, tackiest, most unflattering horrible dress on her very first dance number, and then give her a ridiculous cape-prop to go along with it? Everything about this dance was just … bad. It was messy, weird, and just one giant NO. Bruno said it best: “What the hell was THAT?” Judges’ scores: 5/5/5

6. Brandy (recording artist/actor) and Maksim Chmerkovskiy:

Okay, enough with these professional dancer names that are impossible to spell and say out loud. I think I just broke a record for using 39 words all ending in “sky.” That being said, Brandy did a great job here and her Waltz was smooth and lovely. She seemed a little bit too happy about this, and it was both adorable and a little weird how much this dance show seemed to mean to her. Even weirder was Bruno’s awkward comment of: “I looove the taste of Brandy in the evening.” Ok then. Creepy. Judges’ scores: 7/8/8

7. Bristol Palin (activist) and Mark Ballas:

Okay. While I’m not going to use this show as an excuse to get all political on you, there are just too many jokes about Bristol’s appearance on this program that simply write themselves. First of all, I love that they introduced her as an “activist for teen pregnancy…prevention.” Riiiiight. And I’m an activist for healthy eating and being too skinny. Secondly, the song they chose to dance their Cha-cha-cha to was “Mama Told Me Not to Come.” Again, the jokes write themselves folks. The best part for me though was how Bristol managed to get as much “I Love America” stuff into her rehearsal montage as humanly possible.  American flag pins, Alaska t-shirts … at least they didn’t dance to some “America” themed song, so I’ll give her that. As for her dancing …there really wasn’t any. It looked as though she was being dragged across the floor. Bruno had the line of the night when he told her it was lacking, but that it’s okay because this was “virgin territory” for her. Don’t think for a second that he didn’t say THAT on purpose. I love him.

8. Florence Henderson (actress) and Corky Ballas:

During the rehearsal footage montage of this couple, we found out that the former Carol Brady likes to use the four-letter F word … a lot. She is also very funny and charming and has some killer legs for a 76-year-old woman! I have a bit of a soft spot for her I’ll admit, and was rooting for her to do well. Thankfully, she did well. Go Carol go! 6/6/6

9. Michael Bolton (recording artist) and Chelsie Hightower:

Even though the show referred to Bolton in the introduction as a “music legend,” I will refer to him as a singer. Elvis was a legend. The Beatles were legends. Michael Bolton is on Dancing With the Stars. And quite frankly, his “dancing” resembled Frankenstein twirling around with the girl on top of a jewelry box. I don’t think he is capable of bending. Judges’ scores: 6/5/5

10. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff:

I think you all know who this clown is. If not, you are much better off in life. He is one of the many annoying, mind-numbing, pointless “cast members” on the MTV show Jersey Shore. He refers to his abs and himself as “The Situation,” but since I refuse to call him that, I will be referring to him as “The Pointless Douchebag.” So “The Pointless Douchebag” made a fool of himself right away and made me loathe him more than I already do. The entire time he was out there, I was wishing he would fall flat on his abs or his horrible hair. That didn’t happen, but he didn’t start off well either. Good. Judges’ scores: 5/5/5

11. Jennifer Grey (actress) and Derek Hough:

The producers ”accidentally” chose a song that was in the movie Dirty Dancing. This, of course, brought back a flood of memories for Jennifer of her co-star Patrick Swayze and she broke into sobs immediately. Luckily, she brought some of that raw emotion into the actual performance and the result was a magical, dream-like piece. Anyone care to take bets on which of the judges will say, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” first? My guess is that it will be Bruno, and it will be in response to a kick-ass, comeback performance a few episodes down the road. Judges’ scores: 8/8/8

12. David Hasselhoff (actor, singer) and Kym Johnson:

Holy crap, are we DONE yet? See what I mean about how many dance couples there are? Enough already! That’s how I feel writing this, and that’s how I felt by the time they got around to this last couple. I was exhausted just watching these people, and I was all out of snacks. My favorite part of this performance was not the dancing – because that was horrific – but the way that Hasselhoff lip synced every single lyric to the song in an overdramatic fashion, moving his lips and shaking his face all around. As for the rest of him, he looked sort of like a robot that was put together with scotch-tape and ribbon. I thought a piece of his body would just randomly fall off at any given moment. The best comment of the evening was judge Len Goodman’s reaction to Hasselhoff’s dance: “Well, it’s never too early to panic.” Judges’ scores: 5/5/5

Who Should Go Home: 90% of them. They are all pretty annoying.

Who DID Go Home: “The Hoff” went home, and even though he was pretty awful, it was still surprising that he was voted off in Week One. Being the first one eliminated from a show that only casts has-beens and wannabes to begin with, HAS to be somewhat embarrassing. I guess it’s back to making those home videos for the Hoff now. Get this man a cheeseburger.

For another opinion on this week’s episodes, check out It’s Never Too Early to Panic by Liz Cooper.

Season 11, Week 1: Round 1 Performances and Results Show (originally aired September 20 and 21, 2010)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c, Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey

Chuck Review: A Very Bartowski Premiere

Chuck is on a mission to find one of his family members…again. Usually, I’d get a little tired of the same plotlines being recycled, but it seems like Chuck is upping the ante in every area. The Buy More is now fully tricked out and doubles as a CIA substation. Underneath, the Castle has undergone some upgrades of its own. Chuck’s relationship with Sarah appears stronger than it’s ever been, and while Dad seemed to be the super tech-y type of spy, Chuck’s mom appears to be one in the more traditional sense. (Basically, she can kick butt with the best of them.)

The premiere kicked off not too long after the finale. Chuck has abided by Ellie’s wish to drop out of the spy game for his safety and her sanity, but he and Morgan take on a little side mission to track down Mama Bartowski. Since finding her crazy, cool spy lair, the boys set off on a mission around the world. I loved seeing the two in silhouette over a cartoon map. It was very old-school and a hilarious throwback to those ’60s and ‘70s spy movies. Unfortunately, this puts them $43,000 in debt and no closer to finding Chuck’s mom -  yet one step closer to some delicious dumplings. (More on that later.)

Sarah and Casey, on the other hand, are on a mission of their own. The logistics of the mission are a little iffy to me. We first see them unsuccessfully stop the discharge of an EMP. I appreciate the times they note Chuck’s “flashes” would be useful, and this would have been one of them. But at least they get the EMP and its case to investigate some more and bring it back to Castle.  (Also, it’s so cute to watch Grumpy Casey try to hide how much he misses Chuck.)

Chuck, in the meantime, having run out of money, attempts to find a job, but he seems to be thwarted at every turn. While the interview montage seemed extremely out of place for Chuck, I appreciated the real world humor. Without a “real” Buy More, it appears we’ll be getting less and less of that so cherish it while we can. One of the interviewers fell asleep. Another got sick. No matter what, each interviewer quickly turned on the promising candidate. Later, we find out it was all the handiwork of General Beckman. Chuck is out of the spy game when she says he’s out. (I LMAO when Chuck pointed out that she actually did say exactly those words at the end of last season.) But we all know the General gets what the General wants, and Operation Chuck was so successful that even the President took note. This is why the Buy More got a spy makeover and why Chuck is officially a CIA operative again. (That took like 30 minutes, but who’s counting.)

Chuck flashes on the EMP suitcase Sarah and Casey recovered earlier and notices that it has the same emblem as on an Imperial Dragon menu that they found in Mama Bartowski’s old lair. (Yes, here’s where those delicious dumplings come in. Unfortunately, spy business trumps takeout.) This sends our main four to Russia to find Volkoff Industries, the cover for a weapons dealer that used to supply Chuck’s mom and also created the EMP. Throw in Dolph Lundgren Ivan Drago himself, and we’ve got some serious Cold War allegory. (Again, loved the spy throwback.) Though the two aren’t at all aware of each others missions, Chuck steps in to save the day when Sarah and Casey get tied up.

Chuck is a spy and a good one, and I have four reasons for that. One, Sarah, Casey, and Morgan all got out of there alive. Two, he got to take down a ton of guys with guns. Three, he got to use his super scary voice. Four, and most importantly, he got to spend his anniversary with his lady love, even if that meant taking a blustery bus ride to the nearest Russian airport.

I felt it was a fantastic way to kick off the season. There was the perfect amount of spying, kissing, and laughter. If I had a wish list to make for the season based on this debut, I’d hope that they use the old spy lair more. I was a wee bit excited after last season’s finale to see Chuck have more non-CIA leeway. Still, though Casey and Sarah have offered to help in his search, they all agree the General shouldn’t know yet, so I’m crossing my fingers on this one. I also hope they don’t take too long to bring everyone together. Like riding a bike, getting to watch Mama Bartowski (Linda Hamilton) taking out those Volkoff guys after asking if they’d told the big boss, Mr. Volkoff, himself, was killer. And I do mean that literally. Poor guy begged for her to spare his life as he has a family. “So do I,” was the last thing he ever heard. Cold as ice! Apparently, she’s been working for these Russian baddies, whether under duress or not is to be found out. Also, I hope this isn’t the last that we’ve seen of the Jeffster and Big Mike.

SIDE NOTE: I loved nerd dream Olivia Munn‘s appearance as Greta, new emotionless CIA operative/Buy More employee. And, I loved the news that Ellie’s pregnant. (Another reason to not tell her that Chuck’s back in the spy game.) I loved seeing Roman Grant Harry Dean Stanton as this crazy repo man who loves dumplings too. I don’t know where that came from but here’s to hoping he pops up again. There was one huge plot device I hated, and that was the “sexting” storyline. Adults have been sexting in some form for a long time. Once, it was called Polaroids and snail mail. Then, it was digi cams and e-mail. Now, it’s camera phone and texts. Ergo, this is not new! And just because teens are getting hip to it younger and younger and making it a hot button topic, this does not make it funny!

Season 4, Episode 1: Chuck vs the Anniversary (originally aired September 20, 2010)

For more on Chuck, click here.

Mondays at 8/7C on NBC

Images courtesy of NBC and IMDb Pro.

Gossip Girl Review: I Need a Real Life Life

“True. But it wouldn’t be my life without you in it.”

I may or may not have gotten emotional over a certain scene in this week’s Gossip Girl. Okay, fine. I did.

I always try and save the best for last, though, so let’s start with the yawn inspiring baby mama drama back in Manhattan. Dan (Penn Badgley) cares for Milo alone, still believing Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg) is simply away for a spa weekend and will come breezing home to baby any day. I’m guessing that’s not going to happen. Rufus (Matthew Settle) and Lily (Kelly Rutherford) struggle with how to handle their sudden grandparent status. Rufus does his typical overprotective thing, making furtive phone calls to Milo’s physician even though Georgina said they could get their own paternity test. Most likely because she knew a) she’d be gone, and b) Dan signed the birth certificate so it doesn’t matter anyway. Lily urges Rufus to remember that Dan’s his son, and he’s struggling. She goes over (with a team of designers, of course) to forge a nursery out of Jenny Humphrey Satan’s  old room. I hope the pure evil doesn’t rub off on the kid.

In the meantime, Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) is spending more and more time playing Mommy, and it’s obvious she still has feelings for Dan. Nate (Chace Crawford) is busy spilling the gory details of Serena’s (Blake Lively) past to Juliet (Katie Cassidy), his new BFF with a dirty little secret no one can figure out. Juliet tells him the first thing to do is to remove Dan from the equation – then figure out what to do about Serena. She tells Vanessa she should go for it with Dan because he still wants her, and Nate backs up the lie. Dan and Vanessa have sex (of course!), and afterward she spills the beans about Nate’s little white lie. Dan and Nate have a bromance scene in which they vow Serena will not come between them, no matter what happens when she returns to Manhattan. Snort. Yeah, like guys have a great track record in upholding vows when hot, easy blondes enter the mix.

Back in Paris, Blair’s (Leighton Meester) fairytale prince has decided to give her a second chance for an unnamed reason. It’s small, but little writing failures like this one bother me. We need Blair to have a focus, and we need her to be wearing a gorgeous red gown for an important scene, so magically the Prince of Monaco decides she’s not a shallow bitch.

Anyway, that’s what happened. While Blair is living her fantasy and getting ready for a real, live, ball, Serena is visiting the morgue to identify a body – which, of course, turns out not to be Chuck (Ed Westwick). Blair spots him downtown but they don’t speak. She relates to Serena that she can’t think of him, that just seeing him through a car window hurt too much.

Serena does find Chuck, who is getting ready to disappear for good after his moment of eye-contact with Blair. When S pushes him, he says (with real, honest heartbreak in his voice) that he’s ruined everything he ever wanted. He’d rather have nothing than be Chuck Bass.

In another too well timed moment, Serena gets a call from a police officer who needs her to reclaim Chucks stolen property – the Harry Winston engagement ring meant for Blair. Learning that he was shot trying to save her ring finally convinces Blair she has to stop Chuck from disappearing for good.

They meet on a bridge at the train station, Blair’s ball gown a start contrast to Chuck’s European peasant garb. They stare for long moments, and the conversation that follows is nothing short of brilliant. Their acting, as always, is better for being in a scene with one another. It’s so honest, so frank – it’s only together that these two characters reach their potential. Blair talks Chuck out of leaving, reminding him that great men don’t run and hide and promising he didn’t break her, that she’s stronger than that. She says “I don’t love you anymore,” and we see the words punch the life out of Chuck without a single word.

Chuck does, of course, decide to return to Manhattan. He is bringing his little Parisian tart, who I already hate, along for the ride. Blair follows suit, brushing off Prince Charming, stating she has to “honor the sacrifice someone is making for her.” I’m quite sure we haven’t seen the last of him, either.

The episode ends with a couple of great moments. First, Serena returns and of course (conveniently) goes straight to the loft in Brooklyn, where she’s confronted with Dan’s parental status, he and Vanessa holding hands, and Nate canoodling with Juliet. The second moment arrives when Juliet informs Nate he needs time to get over Serena, then makes a phone call from her apartment as she takes the stalkerish photos down off the wall. “I had to improvise, but it’s done,” she says to the invisible third party.  Whatever that means, I’m pretty sure she’s not Gossip Girl, but I don’t know who the heck she is or what she wants.

So far this season has succeeded in increasing my attachment to Chuck and Blair to an unhealthy level, but has also made me not give a crap about the rest of the cast. They’re going to have to step up the rest of the storylines, because as much as I heart Chuck and Blair’s relationship, it’s going to get really old week in and week out.

I have to end with a quote this week, because there were two and I couldn’t pick.

“You don’t need a ticket. I’m Chuck Bass.”

YEAH YOU ARE, CHUCK. AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT.

Season 4, Episode 2: Double Identity (originally aired September 20, 2010)

Mondays at 9/8C, The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Giovanni Rufino

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Meat and Potatoes: Q&A with Rahm Fama

IS there anything better than meat and potatoes? Well, Food Network is hoping there isn’t as its new show titled the same (Meat and Potatoes) is set to premiere this Friday. In a conference call with host Rahm Fama we talk his new show, belly dancing and bull riding.

Meat and Potatoes is a food discovery show, tagged “vegetarians beware.” This show is not for anyone who doesn’t have a fine appreciation for meat. Because what you’ll find is the moist, juiciest, the spiciest, most beautiful pieces of meat and the off-the-track places you can go to enjoy them yourself.

And for this exciting host nothing’s off limits. Whether it’s learning to belly dance or hopping on a mechanical bull, Fama sees any adventure as welcoming. And this fun approach to life is something that he hopes will be the trademark that sets Potatoes apart from other shows. Unlike other shows, Meat and Potatoes does not specifically focus on the best in food (although the food that makes the cut is pretty darn tasty we are told). Potatoes showcases the fun and flair of food, as well as the deep and intricate process it takes to make every tasty bite. And this fun approach to teaching viewers an appreciation of food is truly the heart of Meat and Potatoes.

Having grown up on a ranch and working in kitchens since he was 15, Fama understands about the journey to get the food from point A (ranch) to point B (plate.) Fama says of this show that he wants to give people an understanding of where food comes from along with how much work goes into their meal with all the trimmings.

Speaking of trimmings, the “potatoes” of Meat and Potatoes refers not to the father of the French Fry but encompasses all foods that serve as sidekicks to meat. Poteen, for instance (yeah I’ve never heard of that but if Wikipedia is correct it’s a sort of beer) makes an appearance. Other interesting tidbits include a candle made of bacon wax and a hidden gem of a Korean steakhouse.

Fama’s search for the most interesting meats takes him from New York to Austin and Chicago, but when asked which city has the most to offer Fama comes to a halt. Although he does give a shout out to Chicago’s deep dish pizza, the legends are true. Note to self: move to Chicago.

Meat and Potatoes premieres this Friday Sept. 24th at 10pm/9c.

For more television reviews, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Food Network.

Glee Review: The Gang’s All Here – Minus One

Hey everyone, I’m excited!

After what I felt was a lackluster season finale, I’m pleased with how the sophomore season of Glee has started off. There are already character changes taking place – some recurring people from last season are now gone to make way for fresh meat. Ken the football coach and Matt (he who was always in the background and danced) are the first causalities. Their disappearance isn’t major, but it makes way for the two storylines this episode:

THE BEISTE. Coach Beiste (pronounced “beast,” it’s French) has taken over as the new football coach. She – yes, she – is a very manly woman who was no doubt brought in to serve as competition for Sue. Beiste’s first order of business is to request more funds for the football team, thereby cutting the budget for Cheerios and Glee.

Now Schuester and Sue have a common enemy with the mutual agreement that The Beiste must go. Schue learns the fine art of bullying from Sue, but it doesn’t take long until Schue realizes he wasn’t cut out to be mean. In fact, I felt really awful for The Beiste during her bullying. I genuinely wanted to reach through my television screen and give her a hug. Nobody deserves that kind of bullying. Shame on you, Schue! I blame Schue because he’s supposed to be the symbol of goodness on this show and if we lose him, then what’ll happen to Glee?!

AUDITIONS. Glee club is down one member since Matt transferred and fliers are going up around the school to announce auditions for new gleekers. As you can imagine, no one is in a rush to sign up. Rachel meets Sunshine, a Filipino exchange student who is damn good at singing. Rachel’s not stupid though, and she knows if Sunshine joins the Glee club then her solos will probably be greatly reduced. After a long battle with the other Glee members and an awful prank sending Sunshine to a crack house, Rachel finally gets the young girl to audition for Glee club. But not all is dandy afterwards and Sunshine gets snatched up by the Number 1 enemy, Vocal Adrenaline.

Second potential new Glee club member is Sam Evans, also new to McKinley High’s football team. He’s a great singer but he enjoys being a cool Quarterback and doesn’t want to be stuck with the “nerd” label by joining Glee. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually, but for now I can’t stop staring at his mouth every time he comes on screen. Thanks a lot, Puck.

WRAPPING IT UP. It was a better season premiere than I anticipated with some great moments with all the characters: especially Tina, Mike, Artie, Quinn and Santana. There was no sign of Emma Pillsbury, but I’m not complaining. The songs were cringe-worthy, except for Lea Michele’s finale.  I’m hopeful for the rest of the season, particularly next week’s Britney Spears episode!

Season 2, Episode 1: Audition (originally aired September 21, 2010)

For more on Glee, click here.

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Jersey Shore Review: The Dogs are in Puppy Love

Will wonders never cease?  Just when I thought these kids couldn’t go any lower, they surprise me.  In a good way.

A common complaint among reality stars is that they are unfairly edited in a way that makes them look bad.  These Jersey Shore guys would have had this argument were it not for the last episode.  For the most part, the guys act like Neanderthal scumbags.  They routinely meet girls out at the clubs and take them home for some one night lovin’, only to promptly show them to the door before the sun rises.  I’ve never seen Pauly, Vinny, or Mike show any respect for women other than their roommates (occasionally) and relatives.  All that changes when Pauly and Vinny meet two girls that they consider “wifey” material.  For the uninformed, this is the type of girl you’d take home to Mama.  Definitely not to be confused with the groupies they usually associate with.  Vinny, in particular has looked pretty scummy lately.  He slept with Angelina and Snooki.  He seems crude and insensitive.  That perception changes when his family comes for a visit and we see that he’s a spoiled Mama’s Boy with a soft spot.  His mom dotes on him and cooks for the entire house.  Obviously he would like to settle down with a girl not too different from Dear Old Mom.  Will he find her in Miami?  Not likely, but he thinks he may have a candidate in Ramona, a girl he meets during one of his nights out.  Soon after he meets her, Vinny is fawning all over her, telling her that he thinks he found his wife and that he’s not going to talk to any other girls for the rest of the night.  It’s funny to see Vinny, who usually acts like a player, look completely wack as he puts himself out there for a chick he doesn’t even know like that.

Pauly is similarly smitten, but is much more reserved in his approach.  Unlike Vinny, Pauly’s girl actually seems interested in him.  They plan a double date with the girls, each getting fresh beforehand with haircuts and new clothes.  They even get flowers.  Vinny’s girl Ramona reluctantly accepted the date invitation at first, but later called back to cancel.  Frustrated, Vinny hangs up.  He gathers himself and calls her back, begging her to reconsider.  It’s endearing to see this vulnerable side of Vinny, but it’s a little pathetic to hear him plead with her to go out.  There are plenty of fish in the sea, bro!  Ramona ends up standing Vinny up, and it’s painful to watch.

While Pauly and Vinny show their softer side, Mike threatens to blow up Angelina’s spot with Jose.  The house likes Jose and thinks Angelina is treating him poorly.  Mike threatens to tell him that Angelina slept with Vinny if she doesn’t tell him first.  So she tells him that she “hooked up” with Vinny, but doesn’t get any more specific than that.  Jose is a really dim-witted dude because he interprets “hooking up” as mere kissing and doesn’t realize that she actually slept with her roommate.  Poor, dumb guy.

This was a surprising episode in that I had no idea Pauly and Vinny were capable of being decent towards women.  It was sad to see Vinny heartbroken, although I think he brought a lot of it on himself.  If a girl has to be prodded into a date, she’s probably not that interested.

Has Pauly’s new love interest managed to tame the savage beast? Is Vinny going to act like a man scorned?  How long can Angelina deceive Jose? Stay tuned.

For more Jersey Shore, click here.

You can follow Poptimal on Twitter @poptimal.

Season 2, Episode 8: All in the Family (originally aired September 16, 2010)

Images courtesy of MTV.

Fall 2010 Television Preview Part 2: $#*! Happens

Yesterday we raved about the best and most promising shows of the upcoming television season, but today we’re here to dish on the worst of them.  While we don’t understand how some programs even made it onto the fall schedule ($#*! My Dad Says, Outsourced), we fear that we will be sorely disappointed by shows we once enjoyed (Glee, Modern Family) or worse, that shows we love will be canceled by heartless network execs.  Keep reading to find out what we have low expectations for and what shows we’re hoping will crash and burn.

Most likely to be a disappointment

Despite the welcome presence of Will Arnett and Keri Russell and the involvement of Arrested Development wizard Mitchell Hurwitz, Running Wilde somehow still looks just god-awful. What a waste of talent and potential. – Erin Biglow

Nikita. This show is getting so much hype and being compared to Alias, which is basically sacrilegious to me. – Liz Cooper

Lone Star. It actually looks promising, but I’m not sure how long they’ll be able to keep the story interesting. – Stephanie Jaar

The Event. It’s not that I don’t think the story will start out intriguingly, but like FlashForward, if it doesn’t define itself quickly and clearly and find its voice, viewers will just tune out. – Inisia Lewis

My Generation (new Breakfast Club-looking ripoff) – Kelley Lynn

Chase. Really, does anybody find hot women in tough guy roles believable? Anyone? Bueller? – Renata Sellitti

Nikita. I don’t know why people continue to think this type of show will work. At Comic-Con I heard lots of people (not only me, I swear) lamenting the appearance of Nikita on their free bags as opposed to some of the more popular characters and shows. The over-hyping going on leads me to suspect the powers that be at The CW are concerned about this show’s viability going in. It’s something of a joke in the online community. I don’t see it exceeding anyone’s expectations. – Trisha Ziegenhorn

Most likely to hit a sophomore slump

I hate to say it because I’m a definite fan, but I fear Glee is setting itself up for a creative cop-out. With so much hype surrounding the guest stars and musical themes each week, I have to wonder if the character development will suffer as a result of both the show’s astronomic rise to success and focus on celebrity cameos. That being said, I think a ton of people will surely tune in and make a ratings slump nearly impossible. – Erin Biglow

Vampire Diaries. How weird can you really get on network TV? – Liz Cooper

Glee. I heard their cover to “Empire State of Mind” and ouch my ears was really all I could think. – Stephanie Jaar

V. Things heated up in the final episodes of V‘s premiere season, but I don’t think most viewers, even the ones who followed through to the end, will care enough to return. There’s a reason the original was successful as a miniseries. – Inisia Lewis

Gary Unmarried – Kelley Lynn

Life Unexpected. Oh wait, is it possible to hit a sophomore slump when your first season sucked too? My bad. – Renata Sellitti

Glee. I’m hoping it won’t slump. But the show seems to be focusing more on working in the famous guest stars rather than on their quirky yet loveable characters. – Allison Toner

Parenthood or maybe even Modern Family. Parenthood never really grabbed me, and its end-of-season ratings weren’t as good as expected. I spent more time deleting unwatched episodes off my DVR than viewing the show. I think it’s being given another chance because of the superb cast; unfortunately, I don’t see it improving. Modern Family came out of the gate so strong and connected with so many viewers – it could be headed for a slump. If you start out at the top there’s only one way to go. You know, unless you’re Glee. – Trisha Ziegenhorn

Most likely to get canceled

Outsourced. I don’t know anyone planning to give this show a whirl, much less attempt to understand how it got greenlit in the first place. – Erin Biglow

Gossip Girl.  Enough already, XOXO. – Liz Cooper

Outlaw. It just strikes me as one of those shows. Oh, and $#*! My Dad Says, but that’s a given. – Stephanie Jaar

The Good Guys. I was surprised FOX didn’t pull it after its lackluster summer showing. – Inisia Lewis

Brothers – Kelley Lynn

I mean, I hate to say it but isn’t it about time to kill Gossip Girl already? And don’t even get me started on One Tree Hill, that show’s been on life support for seasons now. – Renata Sellitti

$#*! My Dad Says. I can’t imagine this twitter account turned show lasting—an occasional tweet is funny but as a thirty-minute show each week? I’ll pass. – Allison Toner

Rules of Engagement. When is CBS going to give up on this show? It seems like they just keep a few episodes in the can to fill weeks here and there. An also-ran for this selection – The Marriage Ref. It’s likely only still alive because of Jerry Seinfeld’s backing and a virtually non-existent budget. – Trisha Ziegenhorn

Most likely to get canceled undeservedly

Nikita. It has great buzz and a likable heroine, but The CW seems to be the most unlikely network to house a successful spy thriller. This is the channel that is preparing to air the umpteenth season of One Tree Hill, mind you. – Erin Biglow

Castle. Still wondering if anyone other than myself watches this show…here’s hoping. – Liz Cooper

Running Wilde. It’ll be funny, but some viewers might not get it. – Stephanie Jaar

Chuck. I still believe the show about a not-so-super spy has a few more seasons in it, but it hasn’t gotten the viewers that such a smart and funny show deserves. – Inisia Lewis

The Bonnie Hunt Show. Not good ratings, but underrated. – Kelley Lynn

I am swapping out “undeservedly” with “prematurely” on this one, and saying The Real Housewives of D.C. One can only hope they kill this cast asap, because these annoying women are making our stomping ground look bad – really bad. – Renata Sellitti

The Good Guys. I’m a bit worried about Matt Nix’s comedy which is tucked away on Fox on Fridays at 9 pm. C’mon everyone, watch it! – Allison Toner

The New Adventures of Old Christine. OH RIGHT THEY ALREADY DID THAT. Ahem. Let’s go with Castle. I can’t believe ABC even considered cancelling this show last year but there it was, on the chopping block. It’s better, in my opinion, than other shows in the same vein, such as The Mentalist. It would be a shame to lose Nathan Fillion from a great role on a great show. – Trisha Ziegenhorn

Show whose cancellation I’m rooting for

Hellcats. Need I explain why? What a monstrosity. – Erin Biglow

My Generation.  This show is so full of itself in previews. I already can’t stand it. – Liz Cooper

$#*! My Dad Says. It’ll be like that caveman show all over again. – Stephanie Jaar

$#*! My Dad Says. Really, a show based off of a twitter account? The idea is so limited, and I see it getting stale and repetitive very fast. – Inisia Lewis

Jay Leno! His ratings in his first year back on The Tonight Show are worse than Conan’s ever were, yet he remains. I root for his disappearance! lol. – Kelley Lynn

Dancing with the Stars. Enough is enough already, people. – Renata Sellitti

America’s Next Top Model is on its 15^th cycle and just feels stale. Its time may have come. – Allison Toner

Two and a Half Men. Someone put this show (and Charlie Sheen) out of its misery. Seriously. It’s always been a one-trick pony – and usually a lame one. You know what we do to lame horses, right? To even consider retaining the show without Charlie Sheen is a waste of a perfectly good time slot. Oh, just thought of another one. For the love of everything holy, can someone take David Caruso, his ridiculous delivery, and CSI: Miami off the air? Seriously, we cancelled Cold Case instead of this crap? – Trisha Ziegenhorn

Do you agree with our picks or should we agree to disagree?  Make your predictions in the Comments section below!

Click HERE to read Part 1 of our Fall Television Preview.

For more television reviews, click here.

Photographs courtesy of CBS, The CW, and IMDbPro.

Mad Men Review: Ladies’ Night

Girls, girls, girls. That’s what this week’s episode of Mad Men was all about and what’s not to love about that? Mad Men possesses without a doubt the most interesting cadre of female characters on television and when a singular episode like this puts the spotlight on them, its hard to not bask in the resulting glow. But before we get into the nitty gritty of each of these fabulous women, we should probably address the elephant in the room: the death of Miss Blankenship.

Poor Miss Blankenship (Randee Heller) with those cataract-filled eyes and cluelessness with the intercom brought an extra spot of humor this season as Don’s latest secretary and her death was no exception. As Roger Sterling put it, she died as she lived – surrounded by people who she answered phones for. And in true Mad Men fashion the death of an old lady at her desk was handled in a perfect blend of sadness and humor as we see various employees of SCDP try to get the body out of sight of visiting clients. But it was Bert Cooper’s (Robert Morse) touching quote for her obituary that brought it beautifully to a close. “She was born in 1898 in a barn, she died on the 37th floor of a skyscraper–she’s an astronaut.” Indeed. Rest in peace, Miss B.

As I mentioned before, the death of this grand old dame was accompanied by some featured storylines for the younger women of the series with the fetching Dr. Faye Miller (Cara Buono) taking a very strong leading role. After their classic first date last week, Don and Faye have now moved on to banging around on their lunch break in what appears to be a relationship getting more serious by the episode. Things go a notch further though when crazy Sally Draper shows up at the office after running away from home. Betty refuses to come get her until the next day so after Miss B croaks Don sends Sally with Faye to stay at his apartment. No biggy really, but the next day when Sally freaks out at having to go back to Betty, Don once again asks Faye to step in and talk to her, which she happily does but then admits to Don later that kids really aren’t her thing. It appears that she has actually been dreading the inevitable meeting of Don’s kids and worried that her lack of maternal instinct would  be a turn off to Don. But he handles it like a sweet pro (how long can this possibly last?) and reassures her that it doesn’t matter to him. So that’s one hurdle down for the Don and Faye train but what will the next one be? Meeting Betty? I’ll be wanting front row seats for that.

Like always, the appearance of Sally filled me with an insane amount of fear and unease. I don’t know what it is about this little girl that causes this feeling of impending doom but I truly believe things will not end well for her. We’ve known for awhile now how much she despises living with Betty and wants nothing more than to live with Don but this week showed us the extremes that she would go to to achieve that, including sneaking onto trains and throwing tantrums in the SCDP offices. But really, a girl who makes french toast with rum instead of maple syrup can’t be all bad, can she?

Next up is Peggy who in addition to getting licked by a lesbian this week also experienced the joy of being set up on an unexpected date. The gentleman in question, Abe, first appeared at the art party that Peggy attended earlier in the season and seems like a pretty decent guy on paper – a point which he proudly makes himself. Once in conversion though, he turns into a complete ass with his tough political and anti-corporate views and offends Peggy is just about every way possible. She wisely ditches him only to have to deal with him showing up at the office the next day with an article he wrote overnight hoping to explain his position. On most shows a gesture such as this would have won over Peggy’s heart and they’d be engaged by the season finale. But not here! His article actually only makes her more angry and she dismisses him again. Sorry Abe, you should probably stick with hippy chicks.

And finally we have my favorite – Joan. Last week we saw Joan in a pretty bad place with the impending departure of her husband to basic training. This week we learn that he is now being sent directly to Vietnam from training so to say Joan is getting worse would be an understatement. In an act of seemingly pure kindness Roger sends a Swedish masseuse to her house to help her relax. When she thanks him for the gesture he hints at a night on the town as well but she resists knowing that he has more than just dinner in mind. Only after Miss B’s death does she finally agree to dinner and even though they are both married, its hard to deny the chemistry between them and not kind of want to see them together.

As it turns out my wish came true sooner than expected after they are mugged on the street and end up passionately hooking up right in an alleyway. A friend of mine carefully noted the potential for pregnancy here with Joan’s recent ceasing of birth control and lack of a condom in alley sex so maybe we’ll see a little Roger/Joan clone in the near future. But even if not this WILL get messy. Period.

It was a busy episode for the beautiful girls of Mad Men and I absolutely adored the closing shots of the women leaving the office at the end of the day. They look impeccable but beyond their physical attributes are complex characters with depth, strength, weaknesses, fears, and hopes. There really is no saying where their separate roads will take them but for what they put up with in the times that they’re living in, they are all, like Miss B., astronauts.

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Season 4, Episode 9: The Beautiful Girls  (originally aired September 19, 2010)

Sundays at 10PM/9C, AMC

Photographs courtesy of AMC and imdbpro.

Easy A Review: A Solid B

Remember a little movie called Clueless? It took a fuddy-duddy classic titled “Emma” and turned it into a cool, trendy movie about Valley Girls with hearts of gold (well most of them). Most teens nowadays probably wouldn’t even recognize Clueless as an adaption which is very sad but also understandable. It pretty much looks nothing like the original, but Easy A is even further from the real thing. Still, the deviation isn’t quite a bad thing.

Based (loosely) on Nathanial Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter,” this 21st century adaption is all about Olive (Emma Stone), a straight-laced, high school student who tells a fib about losing her virginity. The lie morphs into a rumor which makes it way around the school faster than a Gossip Girl post spreads around NYC. With this new-found, saucy cred, Olive realizes she can help other socially-inept students, like gay friend Brandon (Dan Byrd), and make some serious gift card moulah along the way, but with all her snarky, good- natured quasi-charity, Olive just appears trampier and trampier, and well, trampier, and she starts to realize she may have gotten in too deep.

Around to make Olive feel horrible about her fake life choices are Marianne, the stereotypical and devout, picketing “Jesus freak”, straight out of Saved. Amanda Bynes is out of retirement, I guess, because there she was on screen playing her typical wildly-exaggerated, slightly orange character. While I’m a little tired of the easy to go to Christian foil that we’re all suppose to laugh at as they spew hatred in the name of an all-loving Jesus, I do appreciate a young, female actresses who doesn’t rely on their sexiness and instead will debase themselves in the name of a laugh. No one does it better than Bynes, and I see no reason why she should go back into retirement when there are so few actresses in her specific category. There’s also Olive’s best friend Rhiannon, though it doesn’t seem like Olive really liked her in the first place, played by Hellcat‘s Aly Michalka. To prove even more decisively that high school is really just a holding pen for lemmings, even including the self-proclaimed badasses, Rhiannon follows the masses and turns on her BFF as well.

But my favorite characters ended up being the adults. A seasoned Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson were so believably odd as the parents who not only understand but are also afflicted with TMI. Yet they’re also so warm and somehow create a true feeling of heart in this snarky, witty film. Thomas Haden Church and Lisa Kudrow also have some of the funniest scenes as Mr. & Mrs. Griffith, Olive’s favorite teacher (an English teacher who hands out the central required reading) and the school’s guidance counselor respectively.

As a teen movie, it’s no Mean Girl. It’s missing the absurdity and complete originality that allowed the Tina Fey movie to take everyone by surprise. But as Lindsay Lohan perfectly helmed the former, Emma Stone does the same here. She is engaging, charming and funny. Her comedic timing was spot on, and she makes all the overly complicated yet sharp dialogue actually sound fairly realistic. (Please see Zombieland and Superbad for more reasons to love Stone.) Penn Badgley is a plausible as the romantic interest Woodchuck Todd who’s equally sweet and clever as Olive.

Kudos to Bert V. Royal who has quite a short IMDB page but put together a solid screen play, albeit a little too much reliance on voiceovers/internet video blogging for my tastes. If Olive wasn’t so likable, it would be a detriment to the movie. Of course, Director Will Gluck (Fired Up!) had a hand in my positive review of Easy A too.  What I like most, though, was that in the end, this was not a film about getting the guy. Of course, there’s an argument for it, but really, Badgley was on screen for such a small amount of time that it’d be a weak one. What Easy A is really about is how tough high school is, how many people desperately want to fit in and how the double standard of sexuality when it comes to men and women is utterly bogus. Here, the woman, takes her sexuality into her own two hands and screams,  ‘I have every right to do what I want with my body and not be strung up on a flag pole for it.’ (Amen, sister!)

Photo by Adam Taylor – © 2010 CTMG

Fall 2010 Television Preview Part 1: The Newbies and the Comebacks

Summer 2010 will be remembered for its hot and humid weather, as well as a surprisingly full television schedule.  As always, there were plenty of reality shows, including guilty pleasures (Jersey Shore, The Bachelorette) and not so guilty ones (So You Think You Can Dance, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List).  Some old favorites disappointed longtime fans with lackluster seasons (Entourage, Top Chef), while newer shows, such as White Collar and Rizzoli and Isles, dazzled audiences with entertaining characters and intriguing storylines.

As the summer draws to an end, however, we here at Poptimal are gearing up for the new television season and haven’t been this excited since, well, last fall.  We have our fingers crossed that the sophomore seasons of Glee and Modern Family are as good as we know they can be and cannot wait to see if new shows like Running Wilde and Hawaii Five-O will deliver the goods or fail miserably.  Keep reading to find out what we think are the best new and returning shows and check back tomorrow to get our picks for the worst shows of the 2010-2011 television season (yes, $#*! My Dad Says, we’re looking at you).

Most Anticipated New Show

The Event. With the absence of Lost and 24, Event‘s intriguing mix of action-packed political conspiracies with sci-fi friendly mythology should fill a void fans of both departing shows would otherwise miss. I’m also looking forward to HBO’s Atlantic City prohibition drama Boardwalk Empire and AMC’s Frank Darabont-produced The Walking Dead. – Erin Biglow

Running Wilde. Keri Russell and Will Arnett. Need I say more? – Liz Cooper

Nikita – It looks really badass and the most interesting. Other than that, I really can’t say I’m excited about any specific show this season. – Stephanie Jaar

Boardwalk Empire. True Blood might be HBO’s flagship, but it isn’t necessarily a show that fits the network’s brand, yet the darkness and the mystery of this gangster drama screams it. – Inisia Lewis

Conan O’Brien on TBS!!! Also Raising Hope, by the creators of My Name is Earl and starring Cloris Leachman. Definite potential! – Kelley Lynn

The Event or Outsourced, can’t decide. Everyone else is on the Hawaii Five-O bandwagon, figured I’d change it up. – Renata Sellitti

I’m most excited for Hawaii Five-0! Lots of buzz about this remake and I can’t wait to watch its great cast in action…”Book ‘em Danno!” – Allison Toner

For me it’s a toss-up between Running Wilde and Undercovers. For the larger viewing audience, I’d guess The Event is up there among shows people are willing to give a shot. I’m excited for Running Wilde because it will usher Keri Russell back to primetime television. Undercovers has the privilege of naming J.J. Abrams as its creator, which all but guarantees a show with solid writing, acting, and a high-concept plot. – Trisha Ziegenhorn

Most anticipated returning show

Dexter. Season Four’s finale left viewers completely stunned and the beloved, morbidly flawed titular hero has some serious guilt to deal with. I’m anxious to find out how the aftermath of Rita’s death will affect Dexter’s “dark passenger.” – Erin Biglow

Bones.  I got addicted to Bones this summer and had no idea what I have been missing for the past 5 years. – Liz Cooper

So many! Glee, Modern Family, and Community are my top 3. – Stephanie Jaar

Glee. The songs, the dancing, the witty humor, the utter absurdity. It’s everything and more. – Inisia Lewis

Mad Men, Glee, Modern Family. – Kelley Lynn

One word: Glee. Oh, and Modern Family. I’ve been actively trying to recruit people to watch it if they weren’t already on the MF train, so funny… – Renata Sellitti

Modern Family: This hysterical (and Emmy winning) comedy quickly became one of my must-sees last season. I can’t wait to see what kind of shenanigans they get into and how they make me laugh this season. – Allison Toner

I waffled between Vampire Diaries, Big Bang Theory, and Fringe. In the end, going with Fringe was an easy choice. The writers left us with a huge cliff-hanger and about a million different questions. With each episode the plot threads burrow deeper as we wait for someone to yank one and pull everything loose. This is one of the best written, acted, and executed shows on television and there’s no reason to think the upcoming season will let viewers down. – Trisha Ziegenhorn

While The Office hasn’t exactly been in a total slump, fans of the show generally agree the last couple of seasons have been following a downward trend. Since this is Steve Carell’s last turn as the now-iconic Michael Scott, I’m hoping the writers really bring their A-game to give Carell the send-off he deserves. – Erin Biglow

Community. It never really went anywhere seeing as how it has only been on one season, but I have a feeling it is going to really hit its stride in Season 2 Parks and Recreation-style. – Liz Cooper

Grey’s Anatomy. After a game-changing season finale, Grey‘s cleaned the slate and could get back to the show I used to love, centered around characters and emotions and less of the soap and suds. – Inisia Lewis

Dancing With the Stars will be huge, with its ridiculous cast of “The Situation” and Bristol Palin. – Kelley Lynn

Criminal Minds?! It didn’t go anywhere, just really seems to be one of the more underrated awesome shows on TV. – Renata Sellitti

Grey’s Anatomy: After last season’s emotional and jaw dropping finale, I’m curious to see what they have in store for us this season. – Allison Toner

Grey’s Anatomy. The finale last year made snoozing viewers sit up and take note; brought us back to the reasons we loved this show to begin with. We laughed. We cried. We bit our nails and gasped out loud. I’m sure I’m not the only one willing to give Grey’s another few episodes based on their season finale alone. The success of the comeback hinges on their ability to keep our attention now that they have it back. – Trisha Ziegenhorn

Do you agree with what our writers have to say? Cast your predictions in the Comments section below and come back tomorrow for Part 2 of our Fall Preview!

For more television reviews, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox, CBS, ABC, and IMDbPro.

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