Project Runway Review: Button Knows Liars!

Season eight of Project Runway is getting dangerously close to pulling out the knives, or whatever fashion mavens do to settle their “I just can’t stand you and want you to no longer live” differences. Honestly there’s so much tension in this week’s episode, I’m considering going on Zanaprin just watching it.

Last week, Gretchen, Andy, Ivy and Christopher threw Michael under the bus in front of the judges. The purpose of this is questionable since he had immunity and could not go home. So, aside from creating a furious designer with something now to prove, it was purposeless. Maybe they thought that would be a good time to air their grievances. I don’t know. In spite of the fact that Tim found their behavior absolutely deplorable (my words, not his) this week the Detestable Quartet still thinks they were right and that Michael’s “lack of talent” is justification enough to show their behinds to the judges. Michael, of course, is still hurt and has become distrustful of the motives of the other competitors. You have no friends here, it’s true. Right on the back of that is his determination to continue strong in the competition. Yes, they have just loaded the gun to shoot themselves in the foot.

In the challenge this week, the designers have to transform hideous bridesmaids dresses into a fashionable look that their models can wear again and again. Oh, and speaking of models, there are new models for this week’s challenge. And as the designers catch glimpses of the line-up of average women in their questionable frocks, their horror is real. Tacky, shiny, ugly: these are just a few of the words that come to mind. Now while these dresses aren’t horrible (!!!) all of them are completely shapeless and compliment no one. One actually sort of looks like a sack, which I’m sure made model number seven, the owner of said dress, completely thrilled.

In the design phase, Christopher learns his model dropped out and he is given a new one with an even uglier dress. The color’s not bad, just strong and it’s covered in a black net of grotesqueness. Christopher is less than pleased. Valerie and Andy continue to trash talk. Evil Gretchen gives a completely unconvincing performance of wanting to go home. Even though I know it’s completely phony, I wish for the best with her speedy exit. Feeling “down,” Gretchen looks for perspective and Skypes with her mom and after absolutely no real convincing she decides to stay. Oh isn’t that sweet, her mom is her best friend. Isn’t that great, she learns there’s more to life than fashion. Tricky Gretchen, did you try to manipulate us?

During the designing, Tim calls himself “crazy about” Mondo’s design. April seconds this as well as Mondo’s inventiveness in turning his shiny fabric inside out. Valerie, Ivy, and Andy hope this will be the challenge to send Michael home and if his model is any indication he might be. She wants so much in this dress, Michael is having a hard time editing it. On viewing Valerie’s outfit Tim calls it “as far away from fashion as one can get.” It’s Stepford Wives meets Tennis Player. Big yawnfest. Tim tells her she needs to focus on making it good enough to get through to the next challenge.

The other Michael has a couple of problems. For the first, his original dress is polyester’s own brand of horrible and a bright pink. As a source material it sucks, and Michael is having a really tough time trying to work with it. And so to compound a bad situation even worse, Michael doesn’t have enough money for the fabric he wants so he settles for a cheaper version which just looks cheap. Peach dress looks like two ugly dresses somehow morphed together to become one hideous green and curtain looking catastrophe.

In a surprise twist the designers learn that before the runway, their designs will be judged by the public. The results of this will be taken into consideration at the runway. Not only do the designers have to showcase their designs, this is a chance for them to sell themselves to the public. It becomes clear halfway through the challenge that Michael and Mondo are crowd favorites. The other Michael doesn’t fare so well getting one single button. But he has a very good attitude about it; in fact he could teach some designers a lesson. Which leads us to Ivy, spoilsport stuck at three tells the other designers that the reason she isn’t getting any votes is because Michael has been telling people not to vote for her. They don’t show actual footage of Michael doing this so I choose not to believe. But even if he did, she is what he called her (rhymes with witch, starts with a b) and she deserves. She been talking smack about the designers all day, and now she’s upset because Michael was smart enough to get a more effective audience. For the record, Michael denies ever having said anything negative about Ivy.

On panel this week, designer Cynthia Rowley serves as the guest judge.

On the runway, it becomes clear that few designers conquered the beasts of the bridesmaid gown as most of the dresses prove a scant improvement over the original. Ivy’s outfit completely washed out her model. The light designs on her fair model looked weird. Peach feels so awful about her design that she won’t even look at the judges. This is a well-deserved feeling and I commend her on her honesty.

The top three designers this week were Christopher, Michael and Mondo. Of the three, Mondo’s dress makes the clearest statement. It has a great feel and if his model’s hair didn’t look like something from the Flintstones he’d have my vote. But it proves far too distracting for me and when Michael wins once again; the Quartet are disgusted. I LOVE IT!!!

In the bottom three are Valerie, Peach, and the other Michael. It is incredibly clear that the judges have nothing nice to say about Peach’s design. (They actually say they have nothing nice to say about her design.) So, Valerie’s awkward colorblocking and the other Michael’s prom dress have nothing to fear. It’s pretty cut and dry and Peach is sent packing.

Season 8, Episode 6:   You Can Totally Wear That Again (originally aired September 2, 2010)

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