The Amazing Race Review: Don’t Just Be Smart, Be There

The Amazing Race is back! 11 teams meet up for a race around the world, and while contestants ponder over whether smarts or stamina will get you through this race, it seems the only thing they can agree on is it sucks to be lost in London.

Let’s meet the teams:

• Brook and Claire are home shopping network hosts.
• Chad and Stephanie are sweethearts from Miami.  Chad is planning to ask Stephanie to marry him. This is adorable, I suppose, but I’m more interested in discovering all the reasons why they shouldn’t get married. This, I am sure, will be revealed.
• Katie and Rachel are beach volleyball players; they’re fit and blond and competitive. I expect to see them use their feminine wiles to get ahead. No judgment.
• Connor and Jonathon are Ivy League a capella singers housed in nerdy form. Their plan to get ahead in the race is to sing until the other competitors love them. That sounds annoying just hearing it.
• Nat and Kat are doctors and best friends. Nat has diabetes but that’s not going to stop her from getting ahead.
• Michael and Kevin are father and son “internet sensations,” a geeky duo that shows why instant fame on the internet MUST BE STOPPED!
• Nick and Vicki are dating and covered in tattoos. They want to teach the other contestants the most basic lesson, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover,” because they’re still nice people. Bad move in my book, because if you can’t outsmart the others at least you can intimidate them into submission.
• Ron and Tony are best friends from LA. They hide Tony’s intelligence because they want to sneak up on the other teams.
• Jill and Thomas are dating. Thomas is competitive and outspoken. Jill wants to prove to Thomas that you don’t have to be a college graduate to do well on the Race. I sense an underlying power struggle in this relationship and look forward to seeing them fight constantly in the upcoming weeks.
• Gary and Mallory are father/daughter from Kentucky. Along with being a former Ms. Kentucky, Mallory is the first son Gary always wanted to have.
• And finally there’s Andy and Jenna, biological mother and daughter who hadn’t even heard each other’s voice before the application for the Amazing Race. This is disturbing as it couldn’t be more apparent that this group was put together by producers solely for drama’s sake. So, these two are probably going to bicker a lot if only because it was written into their contract.

The race stars off in Glouchester, MA, where host Phil Keoghan explains to the contestants the rules for this race around the world. There are 12 legs of this race, 8 of which are elimination points. The first team to cross the final finish line will win 1 million dollars. But there is a new twist this season; the winner of the first leg will receive an “express pass”. This is basically a get out of jail free card that gets you out of any task you don’t want to do.  So, in the case of a time consuming challenge, this could be the difference between staying and going home.

With the teams fired up, Phil sends them off. The first stop is London England; the runners are warned to be quick because the first plane leaving will only hold three teams. So, first come, first served.

Before they even get to the airport, the geeks (Team A capella) are helplessly lost. By the time they do get to there all of the other teams are comfortably situated and waiting for their flight. Ron/Tony, Stephanie/Chad and Jill/Thomas all make the earlier flight. This after Jill and Thomas almost shot themselves in the foot by going to the wrong kiosk for their tickets.

Soon after landing in England Chad has some sort of childish fit and just starts yelling at Stephanie. Far from comforting her, this only sends an upset Stephanie into even more of a tailspin. They are not the only team who finds themselves in trouble; Ron/Tony have been driving in the wrong direction, Andi/Jenn have stalled their car, and Kevin/Michael are lost.

Nat/Kat are the first team to arrive at Stonehenge where they receive their next clue leading them to Eastnor Castle. At the castle, the teams must climb the castle walls, cross the moat and then battle a knight in shining armor.

But this task is trickier than it looks. The boats the contestants use to cross the moat are very easy to sink. In fact everyone is surprised to find themselves quickly capsized. It takes a while to figure out, but the teams learn the trick is to balance their weight and cross the moat slowly. Jill/Thomas make it across first. Chad/Stephanie can’t seem to stop arguing and they waste a lot of time on this challenge. But I suppose even in a race there’s always time to tell your soon-to-be wife that she sucks, which Chad does.

The second part of this challenge involves the teams propelling melons at a suit of armor 30 feet away. This is no easy challenge as Claire learns when a melon snaps back and hits her in the head! But she soldiers on and manages to move her team to a fourth place finish. Team Geek makes a powerful resurgence as they manage to pull from the back of the pack and get a third place finish. Jill/Thomas keep their strong momentum going and grab a first place finish, gaining themselves an Easy Pass.

Ron/Tony are hopelessly lost and when they ask for help they learn that they have again gone in the wrong direction. By the time they make it to Eastnor it becomes perfectly clear that there’s no hope for them, and indeed they are the last team to make it to the checkpoint. They are eliminated.

Here’s the finish:
1st Jill/Thomas
2nd Nat/Kat
3rd Connar/Jonathon
4th Brook/Claire
5th Katie/Rachel
6th Gary/ Mallory
7th Michael/ Kevin
8th Chad/Stephanie
9th Andi/Jenna
10th Nick/Vicki
Eliminated- Ron/Tony

Season 17, Episode 1: They Don’t Call It The Amazing Race for Nuthin’! (originally aired September 26, 2010)

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

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Photographs courtesy of CBS and Jeffrey R. Staab.