Bones Review – Someone Kill Me. Please, I’m Begging You
October 9, 2010 by Trisha Leigh
Filed under Television
The burning question on my mind this morning is, are they f***king serious? (Sorry Mom.)
Last night’s episode of Bones blew my mind, and not in a good way. Pretty much in the worst way imaginable.
You know when someone thinks they’re funny, or tries really hard to be funny, and they’re not funny and everyone else is uncomfortable? If the viewers of Bones last night weren’t damn near twitching from the awkwardness, then something is wrong with you, my friends. Or me.
Let’s go with you.
The episode tried (really, really hard) to riff off Jersey Shore. A man of Italian descent with huge, oily muscles, a steroid issue, a love for the gym, and who took certain liberties with the English language, got himself killed. For some reason we’re supposed to believe that a world-renowned anthropologist (Dr. Brennan), would mistake the television show Jersey Shore for a documentary on the “guido tribe.” I’m unsure of how much crossover there is between the audience of Bones and Jersey Shore watchers, but I fall among the “never seen it, never care to.”
There isn’t much to the story – it turns out ***SPOILER ALERT*** some random black guy who sells ice killed the wrong man because “they all look alike.”
Are you kidding me?
There was so much stereotyping and bigotry being thinly disguised as humor. It offended me, honestly. And that’s not an easy thing to do.
In semi-related news everyone pretty much knows Angela (Michaela Conlin) is pregnant, and are keeping the secret from Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) for whatever lame reason. Booth (David Boreanaz) asks his girlfriend Hannah (Katheryn Winnick) to cohabitate in a very unromantic, un-Booth way that I think is supposed to reinforce how not thrilled he is inside. The actress who plays Hannah has an annoying speech pattern that I hope I’m not subjected to for much longer.
That was mean, I know. I’m so irritated right now.
Hannah comes to Dr. Brennan (Emily Deschanel) to ask her advice on a housewarming gift for Booth, and Bones provides the perfect answer. An old fashioned phone.
I’m sorry, what was that? When in the name of everything holy did Booth ever mention liking old phones? The reasons she gives for his interest are stupid. I’m sorry. There’s no other way to put it.
The girls (who are now friends with Hannah?) go to help her move and surprise Booth when he arrives home. They make quick exits, after yet another excruciatingly uncomfortable moment between the lead characters.
At the end of last season I felt sad. The declining writing took a show with so much glowing potential and kicked it into a shallow grave. Now, 3 episodes into the new season, I feel animosity. They’re not even trying. They can’t be. I don’t give a crap what happens to any of the characters anymore. They can all die, for all I care.
As a writer, that’s pretty much the opposite of how I want people to feel about my characters.
What do you think, am I being too harsh? If you’re still on the bandwagon for this show, tell me why – please, I’m dying to have a reason to love it again.
Season 6, Episode 3: The Maggots in the Meathead (originally aired October 7, 2010)
For more on Bones, click here.
Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox
Photographs courtesy of Fox, IMDbPro.
I so agree! Hannah is gone now but she’ll forever taint this show like a big stain you can’t get rid of. THe writers have no imagination. They’re also gutless… so afraid of the supposed Moonlighting effect that they have no courage to try to conquer it. Or no imagination… probably a bit of both. So instead they’re going to drag out the will they/wont they to the point where everyone is going to get fed up. I’m already fed up… they’ve killed the special bond B&B had as far as I’m concerned.
i really don’t know where to begin. i’m not sure that the mess bones has become can be fixed. i used to love booth and now i don’t even like him. he has become a complete jerk, lost his sense of humor and if i were bones, i think i’d just belt him one. to say that i hate hannah would be an understatement. if booth was as in love with bones as we were led to believe for as long as he was, there’s no way he could just “get over it” in a few months and fall for another woman. either he never really loved her or he’s the most fickle person to ever walk the face of the planet. also, last season when booth told bones that they would meet in one year at the reflecting pool, he led her to believe that she had some time to decide, that they would reassess their relationship at that time. well, he broke the deal and made it impossible and broke his promise and just plain lied by bringing home hannah! so, he can’t be trusted. as i said, i don’t see any way to fix this unless you just pull a “bobby in the shower” the way dallas did. yes, it’s stupid and asinine, but so is the storyline in season six. if they pull the coma thing or the “it was all just a dream thing” i’ll be pissed, but not half as pissed as i am now if they keep the the current crap. otherwise, i’m ready to give up on this show. thank god i still have the mentalist. if lisbon and jane ever cast one flirty eye on each other, i will scream.
I am very disappointed in Bones too. I cannot tell you how irritating this actress playing Hannah is. Seriously, her speech pattern drives me nuts. She is possibly the worst actress I’ve ever seen on this show and I’ve watched every episode back to back after getting hooked on a rerun late one night. The quality of the show has declined. The cases are trite and yes, the stereotypes of the Jersey Shore were pathetic. I feel like they couldn’t even get the stereotypes correct. Some of those actors were terrible too. The show is just such a disappointment now.
Wow, this is the only review I’ve read that didn’t enjoy the rip off of the jersey shore. So sorry Trisha I give this review an F. Offended, by a stereotyping, that a black guy said “sorry they all look alike”, wow that pretty lame to be offended by that. I’m offended by you even thinking that, cause you still base your opinions on race. Brennan mistaken reality TV for a documentary, and you don’t get that?…Hello, Brennan has been famous for not understanding pop culture references for the last 5 seasons. Anyways, storyline wise, ya pretty weak to be some ice guy with a concrete bat, however people would still be saying the same thing, if “Oh it was his best friend, Oh it was the club bouncer guy, I knew it all alone, oh it was the stalker”. After you seen the episode, people can always say “ohh i knew it all along that was a lame ending but in reality they didn’t” The whole phone idea I thought it was brilliant. It really showed how perfect B&B are, that not only Booth knows what Brennan likes (Favorite Flower, Favorite Planet, Season 3) but Brennan as well knows Booth just as well. Booth has always been interested in strange things, socks, belt buckle,a phone that he fell in love with as child because the grandfather he loved so much had one. They might have never say anything about it on the show, but it shows that these characters aren’t always at the Jeffersonian solving crimes, they have a life, they interact and that not all of it’s on camera. The ending scenes of this episode were my favorite, Brennan smile on her face when Booth saw they phone, how happy she felt putting a smile on his face, the mistaken “your welcome”, the awkwardness she felt. The curious unknown sense of Booth noticing that Brennan acting strange. Other reviews I’ve read wished that the strong Brennan would return, stop acting all jealous. However Brennan being strong is her greatest downfall, I’m not saying women shouldn’t be strong, Brennan is strong, she’s one of the top scientist in her field, but in the matter a love, people that share a bond together are strong, but thanks to bond they can be vulnerable together. So yes stay strong Brennan but be strong only were you need to be. However, I love the way the show has turned, last 5 seasons, we’ve only seen glimpses of Bones with genuine emotions like love,jealousy(my favorite),worry, however season 6 is blowing my mind with them. So yes, I’m in it for the long haul, they only thing that could piss me off about the show, is if it got canceled.
The only way they can actually fix this mess for me now… and I can’t actually believe I’m going to type this, is that if the crazy internet rumor is true and this season is a Brennan coma dream – that actually she got hit on the head in Maluku and this is the result.
That’s the only way they can fix the damage they’ve done to these characters in my eyes now. I honestly can’t believe I just typed that. That way, they at least get to re-set again and they delay B/B getting together AGAIN, but they can allow the people who hate the Hannah storyline to go ‘ah well, technically that never happened’.
Madness, I know. But at this point, nothing would surprise me, seeing as we seem to have ventured into and taken up residence in the realm of ‘Bones, the Soap Opera’.
Don’t even get me started on Hart Hanson on twitter again. Honestly…
@Renee, I’m still watching because I want to. I didn’t invest my time for three years to just give up watching. How is that even hilarious? I’ve had a problem with the writing and direction of the show, yes. Doesn’t mean I should stop watching. And, I can comment on it whenever the hell I want, tyvm.
There was no build up or payoff for the mystery this week.
And with Hannah in the mix, the soapy part of the show sucked too.
I’ll watch bits and pieces if I feel like it now, but won’t be tuning in regularly. But since I used to love the show, glad to share the frustration/regret and to have a place to vent.
(BTW, I agree with previous poster, Hart Hanson seems like a jerk on Twitter. Talk about entitled. If you court the masses for popularity, you should put up with the negativity as well.)
I loved Thursday’s episode, and the gift and the reasons for the gift made plenty of sense to me. I can’t imagine we’ve hesrd every conversation B&B have shared so the one about the phone is reasonable to me. We hadn’t heard about Booth’s mom meatloaf but they obciously discussed it at some point.
Up ’til now, Bones has been the ONLY program on my must-see list. Looking back, I have to agree with Nicole: I was too distracted by the B&B question to notice the cases had gone from intriguing to trite. Was anyone else reminded of Alfred, the Butler, as Caroline rung up Boothe & Brennan, on their over-sized batphones, summoning the super duo back to the batcave? “Holy Toledo, Bones, we’ve got to save Dr. Saroyon’s job!” The entire episode was ridiculously contrived–and embarrassing. PhD’s as a bus mechanic & lounge act? Forget pining away for Brennan: no one with a graduate degree can afford the luxury of menial labor after accruing that kind of school debt! In only three short weeks, I’ve followed Trisha & Nicole from anticipation to antipathy. The word is out, Hansen: Bones is headed the way of that mastodon (or was it a woolly mammoth?) in the Jeffersonian. “To the batpoles!”
Do you really need someone to give you a reason to love Bones again? You seems more than capable of figurng out what you don’t like about so you probably don’t need help figuring what’s good about it since you obviously continue to watch.
When a show gets to this point for a person, you (by all means) should just stop watching!
If the cases are lame and you don’t care for the characters….stop watching! Your time watching and blogging would probably be more productive elsewhere.
@Nicole…since season 3 you had a problem with Bones and you are still watching and commenting on the show….WOW! That is……HILARIOUS!
I watched the first three seasons of Bones on DVD, then caught up and started watching 4 live. I thought it was just me being disappointed after 3, but I see it’s not.
In addition to agreeing with most of what’s been said, esp. about Hannah and the phone, I don’t like how Emily is playing Brennan’s “longing” for Booth. It feels very contrived, and more like she really doesn’t care one way or another and is trying to pretend she does. The honest emotion seems to be gone, and when I remember the episode where Booth coma-dreamt that he and Brennan were married, I could cry. Now THAT was some real emotion, and so well done by the actors!
All we can do is hope that Hanson and the writers listen to us and wise up before the numbers fall too much more. We all know that the networks immediately panic and are canceling shows right and left–they might not be given the time to ANY B/B romance if it’s cancelled without warning.
Suzanne in Detroit
Trisha, I think I’m going to just read your reviews from now on.
I think more and more people are noticing the decline in quality. The ratings are on a steady decline, losing thousands per week (not in the important 18-49 demo just yet though). If you read the Facebook fan page comments, for example, people have pretty much the same opinion as you. Hart Hanson is apparently reading fan forums and has taken to bashing non-sycophantic fans on twitter, when really, he should just be classy and ignore any negativity. It’s all gone a bit twitchy pants in the fandom of Bones.
People say they still watching for the cases, but I haven’t seen a really good, moving case in a very long time.
I agree with Nicole above. There is NO buzz about Hodgins and Angela on the forums. None at all. No-one cares anymore. And what’s the reason for that? Splitting them up, throwing Angela at anything with a pulse and throwing them back together and marrying them with no reason or build-up. We then miss their honeymoon, and now have no sight of them in their home at all. No-one cares that they’re together because they haven’t shown us a reason to.
Booth and Brennan are pretty much going the same way. I’ve never seen so many posts saying ‘have they missed their moment?’, ‘is Booth cheating?’, ‘Why is Booth such a jerk now?’, ‘Bring back Sully, he really loved her’. There is a lot of Booth hate all over the net. Deserved or not, that’s what this Hannah storyline has got them. Fine in Season 2, not so great in Season 6. I, major shipper at one point, find myself really not caring if they ever get together. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. Or we get a ‘yeah, how about we give it a shot’ in the dying seconds of the last ever episode.
I’ve gone through the animosity stage and am now in the apathetic. I always put that, but I’m still writing comments, so maybe I’m not. lol.
Excellent review, I completely agree with you! The writing on Bones is absolutely terrible now.
I re-watched a few season two episodes today and there really is no comparison between the show in season two and the show now in season six. I spent most of the time saying “They never do that any more!”. Season two is just brilliant and watching those episodes made me even more sad about the way the show is now. It’s never going to be the show it used to be, it’s like the writers just don’t even care any more.
I’ve been feeling this way about Bones since the end of season 3. Welcome to the animosity side lol The writing has been declining each year from S4-present. I’m surprised SO many are just noticing it now. I guess the writers were too busy shoving the Booth/Brennan will they/won’t they into everyone’s faces for the past two seasons, and nobody noticed because they were blinded by the supposed TWU WUV. Being a non-shipper, I noticed. You’re right. They aren’t even trying anymore. They haven’t been trying for the past two seasons.
I don’t have a problem with Hannah. I can’t hate her. There’s no reason to. She hasn’t done anything wrong but move to be with a man she loves. Booth needs this right now. If Booth didn’t want her to move in, he wouldn’t have asked her. Again, all of that falls into the writers’ laps. They change up the characters personalities week-to-week to fit their own agenda. There was a little romance between Booth/Hannah in the beginning of the episode. I loved the way Booth kissed her leg all sweet-like. But, romance is not Bones’ strong suit. They don’t know how to write it properly. Examples? All of the relationships on the show. Do I need to mention Angela/Hodgins, too? So, what makes people think they could actually pull off Booth and Brennan being a couple?
Also, I agree about the phone. I was boggled! The whole phone thing was too contrived, I had to laugh at it. It’s all to make us feel sorry for Brennan. Pining OOC Brennan for the past three episodes is pretty pathetic. They need to stop it, right now. It’s not cute and I don’t feel bad for her. Brennan shot Booth down. Her loss. She’s a world-renowned forensic anthropologist. Brennan’s supposed to be strong, confident and independent. I need that Brennan back.
To be honest, the actual Jersey Shore is better than this terrible episode. A+ review, Trisha.