Smallville Review: 200 Down, 18 To Go

In my review of this year’s season premiere of Smallville I marveled at the fact that this was the series’ final and monumental tenth season on the air but this week’s episode marked yet another milestone – the show’s 200th episode. There is probably no way of knowing exactly how many primetime dramatic series have reached this pinnacle number without doing hours of research, but I think it is safe to say that Smallville has entered a pretty exclusive club so I raise my glass to the producers not only to their longevity but to the fact that they managed to make this 200th effort just as, if not more fantastic than the 199 episodes that came before it.

Things get off to a start when Lois begs Clark to accompany her to their high school reunion at Smallville High where the first four seasons of the series primarily took place. We get a look back at places and scenes from the very first episode including Clark’s first filmed encounter with Lana and the unveiling of Chloe’s Wall of Weird at the Smallville Torch student newspaper. It’s amazing to see how the actors have aged over the past ten seasons and another bittersweet sign that the end is almost here.

But this episode wasn’t only about the past. In fact, the future featured almost more prominently with the appearance of Brainiac 5 (James Marsters) who has given up his evil ways in favor of joining up with the Legion in the future and traveled back to show Clark that he needs to stop dwelling on the past if he ever wants to move forward and become the hero he was meant to be. Using a magic ring that enables time travel, Brainiac forces Clark to revisit his father’s death, examine the consequences of not helping Oliver in his recent going-public, and to see how Lois is affected by his emotional absence.

While watching Lois though, Clark spots an old nemesis from the series’ second episode – Greg Arkin AKA Bug Boy (Chad Donella) and immediately senses danger. So in a rush to rescue Lois he tries to grab Brainiac’s ring and instead launches himself to 2017 and into the Daily Planet building where Future Lois scolds him for not wearing his glasses. He then even meets his future self in full-on Clark Kent nerd mode and I almost died of a geek attack. But it only got worse (and by worse I mean so0000 much better) from there. Clark gets to see his future self fly off to stop a nuclear disaster right before he himself dashes up to the roof to save Lois from a helicopter crash that harkens back to the classic scene from the first Christopher Reeve Superman film.

Brainiac finally catches back up to Clark and takes him back to the reunion where they watch as Bug Boy approaches Lois. But instead of attacking her in an act of revenge he tells her how Clark changed his life and made him better off. Insert one million “awwwwws!” And then, before leaving, Brainiac poetically reminds Clark that “a hero is made in the moment” and sends Clark back to real time where he is then able to come to terms with Jonathan Kent’s death and become a support structure for Oliver who gives a rousing speech to a reporter about being a hero and proud of it. It damn near gave me chills.

And finally, the episode ends with a scene between Lois and Clark where the big “I love you” finally comes out of both of them during a dance that literally sweeps them off their feet. It is scenes like this that have made fans of the series crazy about the combination of Erica Durance and Tom Welling as Lois and Clark becoming a couple. Together they are able to display a wonderfully genuine feeling that you get when you are wildly in love with someone. It is a brilliant mixture of earnestness, awkwardness, and glee that isn’t easy for many actors to create but these two have got it down pat and watching it in action in scenes like this is a pure joy.

With four episodes in on this final season the show has really hit a great stride that I hope continues for the remaining 18 episodes. One gets the sense while watching that a lot of love and care is going into making this final year absolutely perfect and as a mega-fan I am simply grateful. I can’t wait to see what’s next!

Season 10, Episode 4: Homecoming (Originally aired October 15, 2010)

Fridays at 8/7c on The CW.

For more on Smallville, click here.

Photographs courtesy of The CW and Ed Araquel.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia Review: A Classless Society

At 12:30 p.m., on a Saturday, in Philadelphia, buzzed buddies Mac and Charlie are attempting to beat a sweltering heat wave by finagling their way into an exclusive swimming pool. Perhaps it really is Always Sunny in Philadelphia. After being politely, but firmly, rejected by the Bermuda shorts-clad receptionist, Mac and Charlie dive headfirst into an offended tirade about the private pool’s discrimination toward “lower class” folk. Implementing their typical garbled logic, Mac and Charlie insist they’re being mistreated despite the receptionist’s insistence that the pool’s membership is simply “at capacity.” The pile of beer cans and symphony of belching don’t help their case as the delusional duo eschew the suggestion to try taking a dip at the local public pool (“Gross!” both Mac and Charlie attest), and instead launch a dimwitted plan to fix up an old abandoned diving pool from their childhood in attempt to thumb their noses at the swim club’s snobbery. As Mac tosses empty beer cans on the ground while Charlie sports a pair of cutoff denim short-shorts with black sneakers, the apt title of the episode is displayed for any viewer who may have missed the theme of this week’s sarcastically slanted social commentary: “Mac and Charlie: White Trash.”

First order of business is to stop at Paddy’s and present a business model to potential pool investor Frank. Although Mac and Charlie don’t want Dee and Dennis involved, they spy on the presentation anyway, which involves a grade school level posterboard collage of scantily clad bikini babes and wads of cash surrounding an image of an island oasis. This, apparently, is meant to illustrate the languid luxury Mac and Charlie intend to create from the makeshift landfill their childhood pool has become. Frank, amazingly, is not intrigued (“Too much work,” he grunts) and refuses to pony up the dough to make their beat-the-heat dreams come true.

Dee and Dennis, meanwhile, smugly scoff at Mac and Charlie’s efforts and claim they should have no problem entering the exclusive swim club because they are, in fact, “high class.” Dennis explains to a skeptical Mac and Charlie that he and Dee’s “present circumstances” have no bearing on their birthright and the simple luck of being born into money makes them part of the upper crust by default.

It is at this point in the episode that the undercurrent of class warfare begins taking off in sardonically Sunny fashion, as the egos and dishonest tendencies of all parties involved get in the way of anyone cooling off amid the scorching heat – anyone, that is, except Frank, who announces his desire to shun such social mores and simply “live on the fringe.”

Decked out in their best yuppie beachwear, Dee and Dennis march up to the private pool and tip their visors to the same receptionist who kicked out Mac and Charlie minutes earlier. To their shock, they are informed that the pool is indeed at capacity and not accepting new members. Dennis attempts to bribe their way in, a move that makes the receptionist inform Dennis he’s just “embarrassing” himself at this point. Despite their preppy pedigree, Dee and Dennis react with the same aghast incredulity as Mac and Charlie and cry foul at the private pool for denying them entry. Some kind of discrimination must be going on, they conclude. Dee points out the “token” black family being “paraded around like dancing monkeys,” then catches her faux pas and makes an already uncomfortable situation even worse by attempting to backtrack. “Not, you know, monkeys, uh … they’re like, performing monkeys,” she stammers, before giving up and blowing a decidedly low-class snot rocket towards the appalled receptionist. Off to the low-class public pool they go.

While Charlie and Mac explore the filth-laden depths of the condemned diving pool and verbalize their delusional remodeling fantasies – Charlie’s swim-up bar complete with an underwater tin can telephone order system is a highlight – Dee and Dennis try and make the best of the child-infested public pool. After initially deciding their aversion is a product of “culture shock,” Dee and Dennis soon wholly embrace their disgust of the public pool after noticing, among other horrors, every single person is wearing sneakers. In the pool.

Charlie and Mac, meanwhile, have found themselves trapped at the bottom of their pool after thoughtlessly heaving a grubby old mattress up to ground level. Turns out, the mattress is what they had originally used as a ladder to enter the pool in the first place, and now they’re stuck with nothing but the blistering sun and their ridiculous ideas. Mac begins to muse how he’ll backflip his way out of the 12-foot-deep abyss, for one.

Back at the public pool, Dee and Dennis discover the hard way that everyone wears shoes while swimming because the bottom of the pool is covered with broken glass. Heh. As Frank, reveling in his moment-to-moment existence, plays “catch the watermelon” with swarm of children in the shallow end, Dee and Dennis bask in their own shallow end as they refuse to call Charlie and Mac to find out how progress with their pool is coming along. Dennis, in particular, can’t bear to admit he and Dee’s inability to weasel their way in to the swanky country club and prove once and for all they are of higher social status than bottom-feeders Mac and Charlie.

Charlie, having made the convenient discovery he’s had his cell phone on him the entire time he and Mac plotted various inane escape routes, finally swallows his pride and suggests they call Dennis and Dee to rescue them. Mac vehemently opposes this and offers other possibilities, like ordering food and waiting for the delivery guy to help them. Charlie expresses a hankering for Chinese food, but Mac offers the helpful hint that pizza may be the better way to go. Why? Because, he states, Chinese food delivery guys are always Chinese and probably won’t understand a word they say. Plus, he adds, they’re too short to offer any physical assistance.

Dee and Dennis finally decide they may have had enough when a rock throwing fight ensues at the public pool and one rogue airborne pebble cuts Dee’s forehead open. They manage to get Mac on the phone, but neither party will confess the truth about their respective deplorable conditions. Mac asks Dee why, if she’s at a posh swim club, he can hear Mexican mariachi music playing in the background, and Dee asks Mac why, if he’s blissfully floating in his own private pool, his voice is echoing. After a completely unproductive conversation that ensures The Gang’s unjust pride and rampant narcissism remain fully intact, everyone returns to their miserable surroundings.

Mac and Charlie’s pizza guy shows up (and is ironically Chinese, to Mac’s chagrin) and throws down a nearby garden hose to help, but takes off when he realizes the gold chain the guys gave him to pay for the pie is fake. The hose, hilariously, snaps in two when Mac tries to hoist himself up and it immediately begins spraying water everywhere. Naturally, Charlie had slipped his cell phone through the nonexistent front pockets of his cutoffs (they hung lower than the shorts and had to be removed, you see) a few moments earlier and it now sits wet and useless on the ground. Mac, however, refuses to admit defeat and declares, “This pool is our bootstraps pulling us up into the middle class.”

Dee, Dennis and Frank have narrowly escaped the public pool and are clearly resorting to desperate measures as they unsuccessfully proposition a terrified family outside the country club in attempt to gain access. When the same snippy receptionist shows up to investigate the disturbance, Dennis bum rushes the entrance and gets promptly clobbered by security.

As night falls on Philly, Mac and Charlie have created a memorial for their friend Jamie Nelson who fell victim to a fatal diving accident at this very pool years earlier. As they begin to chant a “voodoo” prayer in honor of his spirit, a deflated Dee, Dennis and Frank finally show up. While Dennis and Dee still can’t admit their afternoon excursion included a culturally riveting jaunt to the public pool, they do rescue Mac and Charlie and The Gang ends their evening, and this episode, with a good old-fashioned fire hydrant romp.

This episode of Sunny showcased the style of humor that made the first season or two a cultural phenomenon and has unfortunately taken a backseat in recent installments. While the cast always provides impeccable comic timing and line delivery, the writers’ increasing tendency to fall back on gross-out humor for the sake of being gross was refreshingly absent this week. Instead, the off-color humor with actual substance that provided goofy laughs and insightful social commentary reminded me of the Sunny I fell in love with six seasons ago. The dialogue is at its best when it uses wacky touches of such sight gags as Charlie’s ludicrous outfit to highlight the biting references to real social issues. To quote the sartorially challenged Charlie Kelly himself, “What’s white trash about that!?!”

Season 6, Episode 5: Mac and Charlie: White Trash (originally aired October 14, 2010)

For more on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Bones Review – Out of the Dungeon, Still in the Dark

Better.

Then again, after last week’s Jersey Shore disaster, how could it actually have been worse? The writers also gave us a reprieve from the endlessly annoying Hannah (Katheryn Winnick), and even a tease that she’ll be shot in an episode next month. Fingers crossed we’ll be rid of her all together after that.

I’d like to point out that my animosity toward Hannah does not stem from any deep, irrational desire for Booth (David Boreanaz) and Bones (Emily Deschanel) to be together. The last honest moment in this series came when Brennan turned Booth down, claiming she’s just not built for monogamous, lifetime relationships.

Thursday night’s episode featured an appearance by Bunsen Jude the Science Dude (David Allen Grier) who, for an undisclosed reason, really wanted Dr. Brennan to appear on his show. (Think Bill Nye, the Science Guy) In order to prove his chops as a scientist, he agrees to work with her on a case. A tough, experienced bounty hunter was killed while after a man suspected of murder. Throw in a cancer-ridden boss, a hot second bounty hunter, and the suspect’s more than she seems wife, and we’ve got a case, people.

Finally.

Not a whole lot is going on back in the lab. Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) played fanboy to the Science Dude, which was adorable in addition to being believable. Angela (Michaela Conlin) did her part to convince Brennan to go on the Science Dude’s show, reminding her that this is her chance to show little girls that they can be anything they want. It was, I have to admit, one of the loveliest, best written scenes in…well, too long.  There was actually a pretty small part of the episode allocated to Booth and Bones alone, but we got a reappearance from Caroline (Patricia Belcher), the D.A., which improves most episodes all on its own. There’s no squintern, aside from the Science Dude, who was equal parts annoying and engaging.

What we did get to see was Hodgins performing experiments that end in a minor disaster that leads to discovery. I’ve missed that. What Bones and Booth we did get felt honest and in character. In the end, Brennan agreed to go on the Science Dude’s show in order to set a good example – after all that begging and pleading her to come on television, all he let her do was sing a stupid song in a stupid costume.

You know what, though? I GET IT. Finally, I understand the reason behind a seemingly bizarre move the writers make. It shows Bones is willing to change, willing to look at things from someone else’s point of view, and willing to do something she doesn’t want to because it’s the right thing to do. We have rarely seen those traits from her. If she’s going to change, if her and Booth are going to have a chance, we need to believe that she actually changed, not that she’s pretending to change because she misses the way things were with her and Booth.

For my part, I hope we see more episodes like this one. More hijinks, more fun, more cowbell. Or whatever the Bones equivalent of cowbell is.

Season 6, Episode 4: The Body and the Bounty (originally aired October 14, 2010)

For more on Bones, click here.

Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox, IMDbPro.

Project Runway Review: And Nothing Happens!

Project Runway is approximately two weeks away from crowning a champion. Someone should probably let the designers know this because from the looks of things we’re going to end up at the party without a prom king. This week the designers had a final chance to wow the judges and earn a place in the final three, but instead of inspiring designs the runway was overcome by one big snore fest.

This week’s episode of Project Runway was incredibly underwhelming, from the lackluster designs to the unresolved issue of the final three this week’s episode was a disappointment.

The challenge this week has the designers looking to New York for their inspiration. Given free reign over the city, the biggest budget yet, and no limits to their imagination the designers were told to wow the judges to secure their place at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. It all starts off innocently enough; Michael chooses the Statue of Liberty as his inspiration, the drape of her dress seems to call out to him. Both April and Mondo gather at the Brooklyn Bridge, whereas April likes the architectural design, Mondo looks at the bridge as optical art. Andy goes to Central Park and falls in love with the natural elements such as the trees. Finally, Gretchen goes to the Lower East Side and even though she finds no inspiration this is where she plans to stay.

The constant challenges of this competition seems to have really hit the contestants hard this week as all of them are mentally exhausted and don’t bring their A game to the challenge. Gretchen and Michael seem to stall over their design, Michael keeps starting over and over again and Gretchen can’t seem to start. Andy seems to have a handle on his design until Gretchen compares his dress to a Chinese hooker. This sends Andy into a tailspin of worry from which he never truly recovers. An exhausted Mondo falls asleep during this challenge. This turns out to be a bad move as he spends the rest of his time playing catch-up. Dark horse April is the only designer truly comfortable with her design, but Tim worries that April doesn’t go far enough outside of her comfort zone.

The guest judge this week was Season 4 champ Christian Siriano.

As stated previously, this week’s designs were kind of lame. In fact, this whole season has been kind of lame. Looking back on earlier seasons with true unconventional challenges (“challenge” being the key word here, deconstruct a car for design anyone?) this season seems pretty light. I have no doubt that the remaining designers all have mad skills, but on a whole there is far too much mediocrity in the designs. This week is a great example of that. None of the designers went over the top to prove themselves for the challenge.

Michael and Mondo were the top two this week, but honestly no one really deserved that distinction. The judges loved the joy of Mondo’s super-fitted black and white patterned dress. But it was Michael’s draped black gown that left the judges in undeserved awe. Both are moving on to the next round. The judges weren’t thrilled that Andy’s designed is in the same warrior woman theme that he usually has, nevertheless he moves on as well. The bottom two were Gretchen, who the makes the judges wonder if she has lost her steam, and April, whose black miserable dress Michael Kors called “numbing.” In the end the judges were tired of seeing the same old design from April and she was sent home leaving Gretchen to join the Michael, Mondo, and Andy on the fight for fashion week.

What’s most frustrating about this is that no one has a guaranteed spot in fashion week. Usually at the final runway the judges send two designers to fashion week and make two battle fight for the last place. This season’s uncertainty is about as unfulfilling as this week’s designs.

Season 8, Episode 12: We’re in a New York State of Mind (originally aired October 14, 2010)

For more on Project Runway, click here. You can follow Poptimal on Twitter @poptimal.

Thursdays at 9pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime.

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta Review: Kill ‘Em With Kindness

Civility, firm parenting and apologies? All in one episode?! Yes, this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta had so little drama that I almost fell asleep due to how little strife and conflict there was between the housewives.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW

Kandi is working hard for that money. This was week number two where we saw her in the studio laying down a track or putting on a show, if not both, and she’s got talent, so I really do hope for her success. Even Ne-Yo, another successful songwriter turned artist, is working with her and feels honored enough to show his face on TV. That has to be a sign of faith on his part. He gave her kudos for being a fantastic songwriter because anyone can sing but not everyone can write. This dredged up some bitterness because Kim promised 50% of sales for “Tardy for the Party” to Kandi and never followed through. Just another case of friends working for something and getting nothing in Atlanta.

Nene showed a much more vulnerable side, first with her son and then with Dwight. Bryson stopped by to beg Mama Bear to let him return home. He’d been kicked out for basically being a good-for-nothing mooch of a son. He doesn’t clean up after himself. He doesn’t go to school. He doesn’t have a job. Well, you get the picture. Oh, and he walked into jail with marijuana and forgot it was in his pocket, leading to his arrest. The plan had been to just visit a friend. (Yes, someone could be so dumb.) But Nene’s having none of it anymore. “I’m talking to you because you are my child. You may not understand that, Bryson. When you have a child one day, you will understand. The hurt that it is, the pain that it is, just to watch your child go the wrong way. This is a struggle for me. I am trying to guide you the best that I can, and you are really hurting my feelings because I want the best for you, and you are killing me…I will never give up on you because you are my child, but I will never sit by and watch you do stupid things and support you being stupid.” I was ready to cry. Then seconds later, there’s Stupid, saying he thought the problem was that Nene was too strict and hard, with no emotion. Was I ever this freaking annoying as a child?! If so, then I’m sorry Mom. You are a Superwoman. How Nene hasn’t murdered her child by now is anyone’s guess, but more power to her.

We also learned that Kim considers herself a “pop star.” She actually voiced the quote and end quote, there, herself. Needing to stay fit comes with the territory, so it was time to get into shape. The best part about the workout was that her 50% assistant/ 50% friend had to scream at her like a shepherd with its goats. Passersby were honking and singing the “Tardy for the Party” chorus, keeping them both in line. Their run jog-walk culminated with Kim forcing her assistant/friend to run into the nearest liquor store and ask for free beer which were actually given to them. I guess being a “pop star” has its perks. At least her hair didn’t fall off as she feared. Later on, Kim was contacted by Jeffrey Sanker to perform at his White Party, a huge event for gays, the same ones, Kim deduced, that made “Tardy” an iTunes hit. Kim even offered up Kandi as backup before asking her. I can’t wait to see that actually come to a head.

This week, Sheree endeared herself to me, for maybe the first time since we met her in episode one. She’s ready to jump back into dating after divorce and went out on a blind date. The mystery man had the gall to take her dancing, when she doesn’t have a rhythmic bone in her body, and the venue was no Dancing with the Stars ballroom. It looked more like a podunk dojo from the outside, but it’s about the thought that counts right? Sheree hit us with slam after slam of the handsome doctor. Seriously, this guy could do no right, except sending a car for her, but then we saw all her bitchiness morph into something softer and sweeter. She warmed up, stepped out of her comfort zone and by the end asked HIM out on a second date.

Cynthia appeared on the scene finally, a model turned kept woman. I’m slightly envious as that was always my childhood dream profession…the latter of course. We learned she’s been proposed to at least 3 times, but I guess you stop counting after a certain point. Still, her daughter Nicole looks like the smart and sweet type that won’t call you stupid to your face or completely disregard the rules or throw tantrums if you don’t shower oodles of new clothes on them. So Cynthia must be somewhat normal. Phaedra and Apollo saw a sonogram of their baby which was sweet. Otherwise Cynthia and her lives practically blended into the background.

ALL TOGETHER NOW

The Party of the Week was a shindig thrown by Cynthia in the Uptown Supper Club, a restaurant/lounge that her boyfriend Peter owns. All the housewives, including Dwight, turned out to support Kandi, who was trying out a new song and a new sound. Most everyone said something positive, if not at least kind, but I swear she was screaming so hard I could barely make out the singing part.

But the screeching wasn’t the most surprising thing. It was the fact that Nene and Dwight sort of made up. (I know! In one episode! Is that shenanigans I hear someone calling?!) There was no public display of crazy. There was no yelling. Nene politely pulled him to the side and explained how much it hurt her for Dwight to go behind her back, and Dwight apologized and said he never told Kim about $10,000 but did try to help Greg. They may never be BFFs again, but hey, Nene choked Kim and look at them now. The mystery of how much and why still has yet to be solved, though.

Overall, the evening was so civil, it was BORING! I need hair pulling, back stabbing, name calling! I need my Atlanta housewives back! Sigh. Thank the heavens for their confessionals or zzzzzzzzzz. There’s always next week.

THIS WEEK’S QUOTABLES: SHEREE-ISMS

“Is this a joke?!  Oh my gosh, I could have worn my tennis shoes.”

“It looked like he had just passed by a Kroeger and picked them up.” – On the flowers she received for her date.

“So, Apollo knows Laurence and he was in prison with men all that time…interesting.”

Season 3, Episode 2: Model Behavior (originally aired October 11, 2010)

For more on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, click here.

Mondays at 9pm on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of Bravo and Wilford Harewood.

Mad Men Review: Bring Me My Shoes, I’m Going Home

It’s fairly distressing to think that not only are we one episode away from the end of the season, but quite possibly on the latter half of the series itself. So many unanswered questions! What will Don look like in a leisure suit? Okay, mostly it’s just that question.

Although the ending of last week’s episode made it seem like the writers were setting up Roger for a dramatic credits-mirroring suicide or heart attack, this week sees him back in fine form, visibly relieved to see everyone too distracted by panic to be furious with him. All the SCDP partners wait anxiously in the lobby, hairstyles and shoes and faces gleaming, for a meeting with the people from Phillip Morris, who never materialize. It’s sort of heartbreaking. Don’s meeting with Heinz (who I believe brought us Mad Men‘s first fart joke) doesn’t fare much better, and Don decides to take drastic, unilateral action by taking out a full-page ad in the Times detailing SCDP’s split with Tobacco.

It’s an interesting move – Megan recognizes it as ‘He didn’t dump me, I dumped him’ – but not necessarily a helpful one. The best response by far is the fake call from Bobby Kennedy, which I’ll admit had me completely fooled (and terrified for the show) for a minute. There’s a glimmer of hope with the call from the American Cancer Society, although it’s hard to imagine SCDP taking on nonprofit work, but whatever positive effects Don’s Hail Mary ad has wrought will have to wait for the finale, because this episode was full of layoffs and crying. Cooper is furious at Don both for writing the ad and for leaving the other partners’ names off of it, and quits with the best line of the season – “You there! Bring me my shoes, I’m going home.”

In one of the evening’s more ambiguously touching moments (no, not that kind of ambiguous touching) Don puts in $50,000 (in addition to the $100K he has to front as a partner) for Pete in order to support the company during its current crisis. There’s a brief silent toast and head-nod as Pete acknowledges the gesture that’s simple and sweet, even if it is indicative of Don’s tendency to pay off personal debts with money. Oh hi, Midge!

Seeing Midge in the lobby of Don’s building clutching a portfolio is one of those delightful surprises that Mad Men is so good at destroying. The slight air of calculated desperation Midge gives off – the ‘fancy-meeting-you-here-’ tone that hardens into ‘come home with me’ – is a perfect mirror for Don’s character arc this season, not to mention the current state of affairs in the SCDP offices. She’s half-ashamed, half-bold about her heroin addiction and her needs – “What am I supposed to do with a check?” she asks Don truthfully after he buys one of her paintings. Her husband’s clumsy, bald attempts to pimp her out complete the complete and utter misery of the scene, and Don seems as eager as I felt to leave.

There’s plenty in the way of development in the other Drapers’ storylines – Betty keeps going to see the child psychiatrist because, well, she’s Betty and finally decides to move out of Don’s house after learning that Sally is getting friendly with future sociopath Glen (he of the bathroom voyeurism and the stolen football uniform), but all I can think about is where on earth did they find a tiny version of Alfred Molina to play this kid? Uncanny doesn’t even begin to describe the resemblance.

One episode left, readers! See you next week.

For more on Mad Men, click here. Follow Poptimal on Twitter here.  Friend us on Facebook here.

Season 4, Episode 12: Blowing Smoke (originally aired October 10, 2010)

Sundays at 10PM/9C, AMC

Photographs courtesy of AMC and Michael Yarish.

Dancing With The Stars Review: Double Time

This week’s Dancing With the Stars got a makeover with a round, elevated stage and double score system. SO INTENSE.

But it really was pretty cool. This week featured my fave dance, the Argentine Tango, and the Rumba.

First order of business: I was in LA for work all last week and I didn’t get to catch up with DWTS until Sunday. Tears on my pillow. When I finally got around to watching the performance and the results show I was HEARTBROKEN that Margaret Cho was kicked off. I loved her dance and her rainbow outfit and loved that she came out for gay pride. I call foul on Cho and Louis van Amstel’s low scores– I think they deserved much higher and was surprised there wasn’t a big fan following after the rainbow statement. Maybe it’s because of people like me who don’t vote or don’t watch the show until the weekend on DVR…boring Bristol should have gone home, but more on her later. Tip of the hat to Margaret and Louis, I’ll miss ya week to week.

Back to DWTS unplugged edition:

Acoustic music: LOVE IT.

Kurt & Anna: It was like watching two people being forced into incest. Or something totally less serious– but Kurt got all weird about dancing with and touching Anna since Anna is not his wife. I thought Kurt was perfectly charming up to this point, but now he seems like a wet blanket to me. He isn’t cheating on his wife by dancing, they aren’t making out. At least not while the cameras are rolling.

Brooke Burke: Get out. You are the worst host ever. I liked your dress this week though.

Brandy & Maks: Couldn’t dislike this couple more. Maks seems like an A-hole in every clip and Brandy seems like a baby. I guess their dance was fine…made me super uncomfortable when they did a slo-mo of the dance during judging and Brandy was pretty much sharing her O face with the world. I just can’t stand Brandy’s fake “oh my gosh, you really think I did well!?!” attitude. She has been a performer since she was 9 or something, she knows how to work a crowd and be on stage, get over yourself. I like that grandpa Len called them out for the routing being too steamy, booyah!

Argentine Tango: YES. I love this dance. This is the dance that I watch and then promise myself that I am going to sign up for dance lessons. It is too cool. And you get to do lifts!

Foxy & Cheryl: Loves is, except for that mustache. Apparently AT is Cheryl’s favorite dance too, and she recently went to Argentina, so she was ready to school Rick on the steps. I thought it was good, but not awesome, unfortunately. I think this was one of those dances that just didn’t work because of their size difference, and the fact that Cheryl looks like a Cabbage Patch doll next to Rick. He could have tossed her into the back row if he wanted to, it looked like a cartoon at times. The judges said that their performance was one dimensional and that there was no passion. Meh, I’m sure they’ll make up for it next week for the TV-themed performance.

Speaking of TV: Florence! I can’t even talk about her dance because older people make me uncomfortable. Flo hasn’t yet because she is an awesome lady, but I couldn’t watch her getting down on the dance floor.

Kyle & Lacey: Even if he has atrocious footwork, something about this duo is just so magnetic. Are they macking in real life? Gotta look into it. Even though their Rumba was all romantic or whatever, it didn’t make me uncomfortable like that stuff usually does. There was something so endearing about them. Whee!

The Situation & Karina: Are  both weirdos. They seem so creepy in their own unique ways in their rehearsal video and in their performance. Blah. It was clearly Situation’s time to go, and he threw a fit like a child (or like a 30 year old who still gets wasted at the Jersey Shore) and couldn’t take the heat from the judges. They are there to judge, Michael, and being a diva doesn’t look good on anyone, especially not you with that haircut. See ya, no more GTL on DWTS for you.

Jennifer & Derek: HOLY CRAP. Just give her the mirror ball now. They are out of control good. How does Derek always get the best partners? I giggled and agreed when Bruno called them prime time delight. Sooooo good. Their musicality, their skill, their timing– so amazing. They got the first 10′s of the season for their Argentine Tango and I want Jennifer’s outfit from that performance.

Bristol & Mark: No. Where is the Christian Family Council Coalition for Family Values and the like? How can you be a “teen activist” when you preach that abstinence can work (when you are living proof that it doesn’t) on a Thursday, then dance around without pants on in front of millions of people while grinding up on same man on a Monday? Why was it necessary to rip Mark’s shirt off? Blah. Carie Ann said that it looks like Bristol is just dancing for Mark (ya know, for abstinence) when she should be dancing for everyone (again, for abstinence). Disastrous. Her family is in the audience watching this, ewwww. Also, Mark just screams creepshow. Why is he on the verge of kissing her every second? They sucked this week and they knew it. At least they are self aware.

All in all, a good week of dancing. I liked the double scoring system since there is a huge difference between how good a performance is and how technically good it is. I wasn’t sad to see the Situation go this week, but I am still  bummed to not see more of Ms. Cho for next week’s episode.

For Kelley Lynn‘s take on Round 4 of Dancing With The Stars, click here.

Season 11, Week 4: Round 4 Performances and Results Show (originally aired October 11 and 12, 2010)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c, Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey.

Review: On Week 4 of “Dancing With the Stars,” host Tom Bergeron Promises to put Kelley Lynn on the Show!

Yes. You read that right, folks. During this week’s results episode of  Dancing With the Stars, the delightfully wonderful, genius host Tom Bergeron promised that he would get me on the show as a “guest” co-host for one episode. He also vowed to continue reading my reviews of the show, and keep posting comments on the poptimal.com website underneath my awesome, hilarious reviews! AND – get this – he even said that he would retweet, or share, my reviews with all of his 20,000 followers on twitter.  I KNOW! Isn’t be the best???

Okay, so, technically, Bergeron didn’t actually say that he would do any of those things. At least not in word form. However the same media team of experts who determined that the booing coming from the crowd was NOT in fact for Sarah Palin but instead for the low scores of Jennifer Grey in Week 2 of the show – have now determined that whenever Tom Bergeron says the word “LIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” at the beginning of each show, it is really not a simple introduction to the show’s start, but also a PACT in secret language from Tom to get me on the program. These same experts have also determined that the last sentence was the longest run-on sentence ever to be written. But who cares? I’m gonna be on TV!!! Right Tom???

Also, because I have too much time on my hands and apparently use it for the stupidest purposes ever, I was thinking the other night about the Mirror-Ball Trophy Prize that the winner of DWTS receives. Thinking about that gave me another idea. A truly wonderful idea to further showcase the talent of Tom Bergeron. Ready? A spin-off show of DWTS called Hosting With the Hosts. The concept? A contest involving all popular and known TV hosts to see which is the best and most-loved host. The show would star hosts such as Ryan Seacrest, Chris Harrison, Jeff Probst, Julie Chen, (who would get kicked off first just because she is THAT awful) and, of course, Tom Bergeron. The host-wannabe’s would have to compete in different weekly host-like exercises and then get voted off the show, just like DWTS. The winner would get the coveted Host Microphone Trophy. Categories/Games would include:

1. Wearing a Suit

2. Fake Laughing at Dumb Jokes that your “I’m only here because I’m gorgeous” co-host makes.

3. Using inflection and distraction techniques to make situations seem much less or much more than what they actually are; whichever the circumstance calls for.

4. Best host-like smile

5. Walking the line between total tool /douchebaggery and slightly charming.

So what do you think Tom? Brilliant idea, right? And of course, you would win. You are ever-so charming and have way more personality than most other hosts out there. I think you should consider this concept. At the very least; it would make a hilarious sketch for your DWTS finale week; and you could of course; ask me to come on and host the sketch. I’m a comedian and actor, and I promise you I’m quite funny.

I suppose I should review this week’s show now. That is, after all, the purpose of my Reviews … to actually … ya know… review something.

So let’s begin. This Week was UNPLUGGED Week: Acoustic Music with the focus on the Rumba and the Argentine Tango. The judges gave two sets of scores: one for technical and one for performance. The stage was round …like a record Baby, right round, round round …. (I apoligize. I am a child of the 1980′s. Sometimes I just go into one-hit wonder song lyrics. It just happens. I’m in therapy for this. )

1. Kurt Warner / Anna Trebunskaya:

Christian Kurt felt awkward touching another woman during the rehearsals for their Rumba; so he had his wife show up and give her permission on national t.v. that it was okay for him to touch someone’s hips. Then Kurt’s wife left and placed Kurt’s balls back in the jar on their living room entertainment center. After this, Kurt and Anna danced mediocre to a terrible version of Train’s Drops of Jupitor. Judges Technical Scores: 5/5/5 Performance: 7/6/6

2. Brandy / Maks Chmerkovskiy:

Another Rumba. Maks tried to show Brandy romance by taking her out and giving her chocolates and roses. Brandy, being the bitch that she is, still found a way to complain and find fault, and made fun of Maks because he didn’t give them to her in the correct way that made her feel special. Then this couple of moody loons somehow got their crap together and danced an absolutely gorgeous dance that resembled floating white clouds on air. Really beautiful. Judges Technical Scores: 7/8/7 Performance: 9/8/9

NOTE: Since when does Judge Carrie Anne Inaba have a giant black mole above her lip? Has that always been there, or is she going all Cindy Crawford on us? Very odd.

3. Rick “The Sweat-Monster” Fox / Cheryl Burke:

Argentine Tango. During rehearsals, the SweatMonster is all wet in the face as he worries about dropping Cheryl off of the raised, round stage. But nothing to fear as the two pull it off, with a nice mix of some complicated lifts and movements. The scariest part was Rick’s weird pencil-thin fake moustache. Judges Technical Scores: 6/7/6 Performance: 6/7/7

4. Kyle Massey / Lacey Schwimmer:

This Disney dork Kyle looked very out of place and bizarre trying to do this very sexy dance. First off, he is a child. Second, he is about the most unsexy thing on earth. Their song choice was extremely annoying, and her costume made her look like a giant stick of cotton candy. I must say they do have chemistry and always look like they are having tons of fun. Technical Scores: 6/6/6 Performance: 8/7/7

5. Mike “The Pointless Douchebag” Sorrentino / Karina Smirnoff:

In their Argentine Tango, The Douchebag used this week’s dance to “finally” (as horny Carrie Anne put it) show off his dumb abs. The result? Bruno called it awful, and Len said it was “consistant …consistantly bad throughout.” Judges Technical: 4/4/4 Performance: 6/5/5

NOTE: When dumb-as-a-rock Brooke Burke asked the SAME question she ALWAYS asks after the scores are revealed, (How does that feel?) The Pointless Douchebag actually said: “Well that is definately a SITUATION!” At that moment, I wanted a giant safe to fall from the sky on top of them both.

6. Florence Henderson / Corky Ballas:

This “sexy” rumba was hilarious from beginning to end. Lots of bumping and grinding, sultry and inappropriate moves, and just general chaos. It was sort of like watching “Sex Night At the Nursing Home” – if there were such a thing. (Please tell me there isn’t.) Florence is ballsy, and very funny. Sure, her body moves kind of like a non-bending robot and her hips stopped functioning somewhere during A Very Brady Christmas – but she gets an A for effort in my book. She is so endearing. It’s going to be a shame to see her go. Judges Technical Scores: 6/6/5 Performance: 6/6/6

7. Jennifer Grey / Derek Hough:

Their Argentine Tango was, by miles, the dance of the night. Quick-paced, sexy, tight, and with perfect footing and movement – they had everything and more. As soon as they got about 20 seconds into it, I knew we were about to see the first 10′s of the season. Jennifer Grey is just incredible to watch. I love her. As does her good friend, Jamie Lee Curtis, who was once again shown in the audience. During the commercial, I am sure she ran out for another yogurt poop. Come on. You know you are thinking it too. Judges Technical: 9/9/9 Performance: 10/9/10

8. Bristol Palin / Mark Ballas:

Hey guess what? Bristol Palin is a great mommy! Did you know that? And she has a great, wonderful family and a mother who is so proud of her. How do I know all this? Well, because AGAIN, we got to see “home” scenes of Bristol – feeding her baby and spending time with him – then going into this highly suggestive, sensual Rumba. Bruno called Bristol “vacant” – which is the perfect term for her. She looks dead in the eyes, and her body always looks as if it is being forcibly dragged across the floor. Mark took his shirt off during this dance, and Carrie Anne got all flushed once again. This woman really needs a man – stat! Technical Scores: 6/6/6 Performance: 4/5/5

NOTE: When Brooke Burke asked the SAME question once again of “How does that feel?” – of the judges low scores – Mark said “That blows” and Bristol said “That really sucks.” It was sort of funny. If she could show even half that much personality on the dance floor as off of it, she would do a lot better.

9. Audrina Patridge / Tony Dovolani:

Speaking of vacant … Audrina has to be the most boring, zero personality person on this show. Maybe ever. She is also very shallow. When her pro-partner Tony was trying to teach her about having actual EMOTION and playing characters in the dances by making expressions with your face, her only concern was “but I’m gonna get wrinkles squinting like that.” Fine then. Continue on in life with your zero expression and dead, vacant eyes. As for their dance, it was good, but once again, I find it hard to care about this person. She bothers me. Judges Technical Scores: 8/8/8 Performance: 8/7/7

Who Should Have Gone Home: Brooke Burke, for asking ONE question the entire night (How does that feel?), even when it didn’t make any sense to ask it. Before Audrina and Tony got their scores, Burke excitedly said: “So how does it FEEL to beat Jennifer’s scores? …. I mean… if you DID beat her … we don’t know that yet … you might not have …”

Who DID Go Home: Mike “The Pointless Douchebag” Sorrentino. Yes. The Situation is that he went home. The Situation is that he was a terrible dancer, and now, he will have to find some other way to continue out his 15 minutes of pointless fame from being named The Situation, and saying the phrase “The Situation” over and over again. Seriously, when this guy dies, is it going to say: “The Situation” on his gravestone? I hope so. And then Brooke Burke can stand over his grave and ask: “So …The Situation … You are dead. How does that feel?”

Don’t forget our pact, Tom. Now each time you say “LIIIVEEEE!!!!”, I will know you are sending out a secret message, especially for me. Thank you.

For another take on Round 4 of Dancing With The Stars, read Liz Cooper‘s review here.

Season 11, Week 4: Round 4 Performances and Results Show (originally aired October 11 and 12, 2010)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Mondays at 8/7c, Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

Photographs courtesy of ABC, Adam Larkey.

NY Comic-Con 2010: The Vampire Diaries Press Room

Sunday’s press room with the incredibly good looking cast and crew of The Vampire Diaries allowed for some very juicy tidbits to be spilled. Sitting down with Julie Plec, Steven R. McQueen, Sara Canning, Katerina Graham, Kevin Williamson, and Zach Roerig, we were able to learn more about what to expect with what’s to come on Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries.

Here are some highlighted points from the conversation:

• Jeremy is getting off the bench and is heading to the front lines to help the gang with their fight against Katherine.

• When I asked about a new love interest for Jeremy, Julie responded that we could expect him to “Dabble, with a capital D” with someone that we already know. I really wonder who this could be.

• Enjoying the flashbacks? The show will be heading back to the 1490s, possibly looking into the origins of Katherine. Kevin let slip that the year of the flashback in episode 9 is 1492. The entire press room breaks out in Ooooooo’s.  Sadly, Christopher Columbus is not involved.

• Jeremy will have Katherine run-ins soon on the show.

• Over the next four episodes viewers will learn about Katherine’s diabolical plan. By the time viewers hit Thanksgiving they will know a good chunk of it. Will it include Isobel? Julie refused to comment. DUN DUN DUN

• Alaric will be back soon as his new personal story will kick in since his previous Isobel story wrapped up.

• Bonnie’s powers will be pushed to whole new limits. We’ll be seeing the positive and negatives of what comes with her powers. A growth process of becoming a full-fledged witch is also on the horizon.

• Bonnie takes on Mason Lockwood with the mindmeld in an upcoming episode.

• Both Sara and Katerina thank the fan base of the show for their constant support.

• I think I spooked Katerina at the end of the interview when the topic of love interests came about. I randomly suggested Jeremy after Julie had hinted someone we might already know in the early interview. I guess we won’t be seeing that as the look on her face was one of shock.

• We might not be seeing Melinda Clarke anytime soon as she has run off to teach on Nikita. Kevin would love to see her again on TVD, but the chances are slim at this rate. Kevin also says he won’t recast Melinda. He might just bring in Matt’s unknown dad if needed.

• The flashback episode will cover how Katherine came to become who she is. There is a whole storyline set up for Katherine.

• The writers already have enough story to bring them well into Season 3. The decision must be made to where they will choose to set up the finale along that story line and what cliffhangers to choose.

• Four more flashbacks are planned.

• No plans to add any more supernatural creatures this season. Kevin jokingly says perhaps Hot Sexy Zombies could be next.

• Masquerade episode will be coming up soon. Expect mistake in identities to occur.

That wraps up the major points from the Press Room for The Vampire Diaries. If you still want more, check out the videos below.

Images and videos courtesy of Bilal Mian and Poptimal.com

Steven McQueen (Jeremy Gilbert, The Vampire Diaries) & Julie Plec (Exec. Prod.) Steven McQueen (Jeremy Gilbert, The Vampire Diaries) & Julie Plec (Exec. Prod.)	Steven McQueen (Vampire Diaries) talking with Poptimal.com at New York Comic Con 2010 Steven McQueen (Vampire Diaries) talking with Poptimal.com at New York Comic Con 2010	The Vampire Diaries Steven McQueen (Jeremy) & Julie Plec joke while answering Poptimal.com's questions at a press session NY Comic Con 2010 The Vampire Diaries Steven McQueen (Jeremy) & Julie Plec joke while answering Poptimal.com's questions at a press session NY Comic Con 2010
The Vampire Diaries hotties Sara Canning (Jenna) & Katerina Graham (Bonnie) at NY Comic Con The Vampire Diaries hotties Sara Canning (Jenna) & Katerina Graham (Bonnie) at NY Comic Con	The Vampire Diaries Sara Canning (Jenna) & Katerina Graham (Bonnie) being interviewed by Poptimal.com at NY Comic Con The Vampire Diaries Sara Canning (Jenna) & Katerina Graham (Bonnie) being interviewed by Poptimal.com at NY Comic Con	The Vampire Diaries Zach Roerig (Matt Donovan) dishing about TVD with Poptimal.com at NY Comic Con 2010 The Vampire Diaries Zach Roerig (Matt Donovan) dishing about TVD with Poptimal.com at NY Comic Con 2010

Glee Review: Mike Chang Sings!

Glee is back to making me scratch my head. I was expecting this, of course, it seems to be the cycle of the show, but I’m not amused with the hook-ups that took place throughout the hour.

There was just too much going on in this episode. And too much of what was going on didn’t make sense.

Schue’s assignment this week turns into a competition when he offers the best duet group a free lunch at some breadstick restaurant. This restaurant must be the 8^th wonder of the world because everyone is desperate to win – everyone except Rachel and Finn, that is. The Golden Couple decide to take a step back so Sam, the newcomer from episode one, will feel welcomed in Glee club and stick around for Nationals.

Oh and did I mention Puck has been arrested for one thing or another and isn’t in the episode? HOW CONVENIENT. Now Sam can join!

So the duet couples are as follows:

Mercedes and Santana – divas of the school

Rachel and Finn – yawn.

Brittany and Artie – yeah, we’ll get to that later…

Tina and Mike – Mike Chang is not a mute!

Kurt and Sam – Well, no, actually….

Kurt goes solo but performs a song from Victor/Victoria. Clever!

Sam and Quinn – Their cuteness makes me want to VOMIT.

Out of all these groups, the biggest WTF moment was Brittany and Artie. Really?!? And I’m sorry, but I felt no sympathy for Artie losing his virginity to Brittany. In my opinion, her intentions were always clear. She is a cheerleader who likes sex with football players (of which Artie is now one). Whatever happened between the two of them was as much his fault as it was hers. I’m not buying any sob story in this instance.

Mike Chang finally got his moment to shine during his duet performance with Tina. Ironically enough, his song was “Sing” from A Chorus Line. You know, the song with the line, “I could never really sing.” I won’t fault him for his lack of singing, though, because he is a fantastic dancer.

Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. I have such a soft spot for him. He really just wants to be accepted and loved. Kurt believes Sam is gay and pursues him with serious vigor. But Finn and Burt (who is at home recovering, hooray!) convince Kurt to take it easy on Sam. Two men singing a duet would only increase the ridicule, which sounds awful, but they’re both just trying to protect Kurt and Sam (the latter is not gay, by the way).

Free from the clutches of Kurt, Sam now begins pursuing Quinn. At first she pushes him away, but with convincing from the Golden Couple she gives him a chance. They sing “Lucky” by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. It was so cute, I couldn’t handle it. But again – this is another relationship that I feel came out of nowhere. Hormones raging everywhere!

Season 2, Episode 4: Duets (originally aired October 12, 2010)

For more on Glee, click here.

Tuesdays at 8pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

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